Arthur Brooks, author of Build the Life You Want,” joins TheStreet to explain how money can , indeed, buy happiness. You just need to know what you want.
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00 From your vantage point, where does the intersectionality of the drive for wealth and the drive for happiness intersect?
00:12 Well, the problem is not often enough.
00:15 Biology tells us, Mother Nature tells us that if we get these worldly rewards, then we're going to be happy.
00:21 But it's kind of a trick.
00:22 See, here's the thing. Mother Nature really only has two goals for us, which is to survive and pass on our genes.
00:27 She doesn't care if we're happy.
00:29 We want to be happy.
00:30 So we think, "Look, if I follow these drives to be more successful as a person, then I'm going to be happier."
00:35 And those drives really take the place in money and power and pleasure and fame or the admiration of other people.
00:42 And then we become frustrated. Why?
00:43 Because we get, I guess, more competitive in the mating pool, I suppose.
00:46 But that's not going to lead us to happiness.
00:48 So I spend a lot of my time helping people understand that happiness is their business.
00:53 And they have to make choices that don't always feel very natural if they're going to get more of it.
00:57 So what are those choices? Because we're all trying to find that balance between being happy but also having wealth.
01:05 Yeah, I know. For sure.
01:06 And there's nothing wrong with money. On the contrary.
01:08 I mean, I'm a big capitalist. I believe in the free enterprise system.
01:10 But wealth and money, the financial resources that we have, that's an intermediary goal.
01:16 That's something that we want on the way to getting the things that we actually want to do.
01:20 In other words, it's important to think about why do you want money?
01:23 Well, because more is better.
01:24 Wrong. Why do you want money?
01:26 People need to actually answer that particular question.
01:28 What do you want to do that's good in the world?
01:30 One of the ways to think about this is to not just have a goal of having more, but wanting less.
01:37 Wanting less of the things that actually won't bring real satisfaction.
01:40 One of the ways that I talk about this with people is that we have this drive to buy stuff.
01:46 If I get that watch, if I get that suit, if I get that boat, if I get that house, then I'm finally going to be happy.
01:50 You kind of know that's not true.
01:52 You know that's not true.
01:53 But there are ways that you can actually spend money and the why of your money can take this form that's better for your happiness.
02:01 For example, buying experiences with people that you love.
02:04 That's reliable for bringing happiness.
02:06 Buying time and spending it with people that you love.
02:09 Giving your money to causes that you love.
02:11 And saving your money.
02:13 All those things actually do bring reliable happiness.
02:15 Those are the ways to buy happiness.
02:17 So, how do we rewire ourselves?
02:20 Because we all say money can't buy you happiness, but somebody else might say, "Well, at least I'll have fun on the way of trying to figure it out."
02:27 Yeah, yeah.
02:28 And the truth of the matter is that people do figure that out.
02:30 And the people who say money doesn't buy happiness, they tend to have a lot of money.
02:34 And you say, "Well, let me figure that one out on my own. Let me try that on my own."
02:37 And you have to do that by making some errors.
02:39 And ideally, by not having too much regret.
02:42 One of the ways that I counsel people to do it who are working very hard, they get a lot of satisfaction from their work.
02:47 And they're very financially successful.
02:49 You and I probably have the same friends, as a matter of fact.
02:51 I have to urge them to fight their biological tendencies to fill their house with stuff.
02:57 That they, you know, buy that second boat.
02:59 It will not bring the satisfaction that you seek.
03:01 But rather to spend the resources to have the experiences with the people that they love.
03:05 You know, people, they think that things are permanent and experiences are temporary.
03:10 It's exactly the reverse, psychologically.
03:12 Experiences reside in your mind and heart forever.
03:15 And it's the things that kind of fade away.
03:17 And I have to help people rewire themselves by making decisions that don't always feel natural.
03:22 But are always satisfying when they learn how to make them.
03:24 [ Silence ]