In Laurence Gagné-Frégeau’s short documentary, the actor Marie-Lise Chouinard faces her terminal cancer diagnosis with grace and comedy.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00You're going to capote.
00:07First step, report his presence.
00:16That's it.
00:21Everyone, it's starting.
00:27Are you okay?
00:29Let's go.
00:31Second step, embark on the Bessig.
00:38Okay.
00:40Yesterday, a nurse came to our house,
00:43and it was a gift from someone, I don't know, look, hello?
00:46It's there.
00:47So yeah, that's it.
00:48A nurse came to our house this morning,
00:51yesterday,
00:52it's a gift, basically, from a friend.
00:55She said, you know, it could be so beautiful at the end of your life,
00:59with someone who's always there, in your house,
01:02you know, four hours a day.
01:04What is she going to do, four hours a day?
01:07Not that you made pasta with meat, you made moulet, you know.
01:10I don't know what to do with you anymore.
01:12One time, she made reiki.
01:13She can play with me in the chakras in the afternoon,
01:15if she wants to.
01:17Now I have to go out,
01:20she's going to kidnap me at our house,
01:22at the end of my life, you know.
01:25So, anyway,
01:27the woman came yesterday to talk to me,
01:31and she said, you know, what are your needs, and all that.
01:34I said, me,
01:36when I'm in bed,
01:38you massage my feet all day long.
01:41It's going to be really good.
01:43She was like, you have a lot of humor.
01:45I was like, well, yeah, we can say that.
01:48She said, you know, you take it well,
01:50because 36 years old is still young.
01:53I said, yeah, but it's young.
01:55It depends on who.
01:57I mean, in medieval times, 36 years old,
01:59that's a long time, you know.
02:01No.
02:03She said, you know,
02:05your friend who made me come
02:07said you're in denial.
02:09I'm like, in denial?
02:12In denial of what?
02:14That I'm going to die?
02:16I was like,
02:18everyone's in denial.
02:20Everyone's going to kill me.
02:22I'm the one who's lucid,
02:24and it's going to happen to me sooner or later.
02:26So, you know what?
02:28I'm enjoying life.
02:30It's like, Jany, I'm live, man.
02:32I'm a live stream.
02:34We're live.
02:3624 hours a day.
02:38I'm just in the moment.
02:40My life is big as it is.
02:42I used to eat sweets,
02:44I used to dream of dreams.
02:46She used to dream live.
02:48She used to dream of her death.
02:50Right now, she's in,
02:52what do you call it,
02:54when people laugh at death?
02:56She's in near-death experience right now.
02:58She's going to tell us all about it.
03:00What she saw.
03:02I'm coming back.
03:04I'm coming back.
03:06God.
03:08I saw the tunnel.
03:10You didn't go far.
03:12That's what I thought.
03:14No?
03:16Very small.
03:18Who's face is that?
03:20I'm sure it's a clown.
03:22Nice!
03:24Bring me a spag.
03:26What I wanted was to make people laugh.
03:28That's the goal.
03:30And it worked.
03:34I'm always with comedians,
03:36with comedians,
03:38with cool people.
03:40I saw the life of Jules César,
03:42of Rasputin,
03:44of John F. Kennedy.
03:46Anything that crossed my mind,
03:48there were always
03:504, 5, 10 comedians
03:52who were like,
03:54I want to do that.
03:56Yes, we're going to make
03:58the Victorian era with coffee filters.
04:00Everywhere.
04:02You know, 100$ for a coffee filter.
04:04A bunch of cabs on stage.
04:06A bunch of cabs on stage.
04:08A bunch of cabs on stage.
04:10Everyone laughs, everyone trips.
04:14I didn't wait for anything
04:16to do my thing.
04:18I did everything I wanted.
04:22I'm good.
04:24I'm always good.
04:26I'm not denying it.
04:28It's not because we're good with death
04:30that we don't believe it.
04:32It's...
04:34It's fun.
04:36It's fun to think
04:38that it was all a big game
04:40and we played it and had fun
04:42and now it's over.
04:46Good evening.
04:48My cousin.
04:50And me.
04:52How are you?
04:54Hello.
04:56My little girl.
04:58We're going to wait for him.
05:00What?
05:02We're going to wait for him in the tent.
05:08Ok.
05:10The warmest dress
05:12in history.
05:16I'm already...
05:18You can sweat a little.
05:24Good.
05:26Your mask, my mask.
05:28Is that what you use?
05:30Your slip.
05:32My what?
05:34Your slip.
05:36Ok.
05:38To make you comfortable.
05:48Mm-hm.
06:18I don't know.
06:20I don't know.
06:21They told me on Wednesday.
06:23What did they tell you?
06:26They told me...
06:29...that there was not enough...
06:32...that there was not enough soap in there.
06:35And what was the symptom?
06:37And another infection.
06:39Did you have it?
06:40No. Pneumonia.
06:48And what did the insufficiency do to you?
06:58It gave me energy.
07:01My belly was round.
07:03The lowest a belly can be.
07:06I didn't really think I would get out of my bed.
07:10I was like...
07:11And you don't tell me?
07:13I was too embarrassed.
07:17Who was aware?
07:19No one.
07:22Christine?
07:25I don't remember her name.
07:31Louise?
07:34I don't remember her name.
07:36What was her name?
07:38I don't remember her name.
07:46I don't remember her name.
07:58It's over.
08:01You can't do that.
08:05Yes, I started shaving right after.
08:08Excuse me?
08:09I started shaving right after.
08:11Yes.
08:13How much do you fill it with? Half a liter?
08:15500.
08:16500?
08:17And your height?
08:18Would you prefer more?
08:43Okay.
09:13Hey!
09:14Hey!
09:15Hey!
09:16Hey!
09:17Hey!
09:18Hey!
09:19Hey!
09:20Hey!
09:21Hey!
09:22Hey!
09:23Hey!
09:24Hey!
09:25Hey!
09:26Hey!
09:27Hey!
09:28Hey!
09:29Hey!
09:30Hey!
09:31Hey!
09:32Hey!
09:33Hey!
09:34Hey!
09:35Hey!
09:36Hey!
09:37Hey!
09:38Hey!
09:39Hey!
09:40Hey!
09:41Hey!
09:42Hey!
09:43Hey!
09:44Hey!
09:45Hey!
09:46Hey!
09:47Hey!
09:48Hey!
09:49One, two, three.
09:59Thank you.
10:01Are you okay?
10:11Are you okay?
10:13How are you?
10:15Not very well.
10:17Not very well.
10:19For now.
10:21Did you stay long at the hospital?
10:23No, but they stopped the treatment.
10:25They stopped the treatment?
10:27Uh-huh.
10:29I'm sorry, I'll never cry again.
10:31No, you have to cry.
10:33It touches me.
10:35It touches me to talk about it.
10:37But it's okay.
10:39I've taken care of everything.
10:41What do you mean?
10:43Well, my friends come home
10:45to sleep with me.
10:47That way, I won't have to
10:49go to the hospital.
10:51You know?
10:53Okay.
10:55Like that.
11:09You can't let go of my arm.
11:11Uh-huh.
11:15Uh-huh.
11:27Merci.
11:29Uh-huh.
11:31Oh, my God.
12:01Oui.
12:03Oui.
12:15De quoi?
12:17Oh, mon Dieu.
12:31Oh, mon Dieu.
13:01Oui.
13:03Oui.
13:07Oui.
13:11Mais oui, ça change tout.
13:17Pour vrai, quand ils ont dit,
13:19« Ah, on arrête les traitements »,
13:21il y avait une partie de moi qui était...
13:23Qui était contente.
13:25Oui.
13:27« Tant qu'à être malade,
13:29c'est pas grave. »
13:31Oui.
13:35Puis, d'un moment donné,
13:37je vois que, oh,
13:39ça file pas du tout,
13:41mais je peux aller dans une maison.
13:43C'est une belle maison,
13:45c'est full artistique.
13:47Ils font des massages,
13:49des cours de musique.
13:51Je peux aller habiter là.
13:53Il y a des médecins,
13:55des infirmières.
13:57Ça prend du quoi pour être administré?
14:01Faut que le médecin dise
14:03qu'il reste trois mois.
14:05Oui.
14:11Mais ils t'ont pas dit six ans, là.
14:13Ils m'ont dit six.
14:21Oh, mon Dieu,
14:23c'était relaxant, ça.
14:27Oh.
14:29Sweet.
14:31Tickle.
14:49Comme dans mes rêves.
14:51Hein? Comme dans mes rêves.
14:53Pour vrai? Oui.
14:57Une autre des choses
14:59que je veux essayer,
15:01c'est d'aller au Ritz.
15:03Au Ritz? Ritz Carlton.
15:05C'est quoi, ça?
15:07C'est genre le restaurant
15:09le plus chic du monde.
15:11C'est le meilleur cuisinier
15:13de la ville.
15:15Bon, ça coûte 16 piastres
15:17ou des patates, mais...
15:19Combien?
15:2116 piastres.
15:2316 piastres, c'est quoi,
15:25là?
15:31Ça, c'est pour quand tu vas
15:33manger au resto.
15:35À mon nom. Quoi?
15:37Tu vas te manger plein, plein de patates.
15:41Elle est belle, hein?
15:43Mais ça fait du bien de se réveiller le matin,
15:45pis t'sais, quand on est malade,
15:47au moins, tu te vois dans les rues,
15:49t'es comme... C'est ça.
15:51Pis c'est moi qui vais payer
15:53pour te donner tout mon cash.
15:55Non!
16:01Merci pour tout ce que tu m'as partagé.
16:03Ça me fait plaisir.
16:17D'où tu viens?
16:19Cherry.
16:21J'ai travaillé dans les cerises
16:23en Colombie-Britannique
16:25pendant plusieurs saisons.
16:27C'était vraiment cool.
16:29Chez Dendy's Orchard.
16:31Fait que là,
16:33on allait l'achat qui était trippé,
16:35faire du moche, chiller,
16:37boire de la bière, pis faire de l'argent.
16:39Pis on faisait de l'argent,
16:41pis je payais mes études
16:43de même, là, t'sais.
16:45Fait que ça, c'était cool.
16:47Fait que j'ai tellement travaillé
16:49dans les cerises, pis même le monde
16:51qui travaillait dans les cerises
16:53aussi avec moi, il m'appelait Cherry.
16:55Pis je sais pas pourquoi.
16:57Ça m'a comme virée de même.
16:59Fait que c'est pour ça que demain,
17:01tout le monde de mes amis...
17:03Pas tout le monde, mais ils s'en vont se faire
17:05tatouer une Cherry.
17:07T'sais, c'est drôle parce qu'il y a
17:09une infirmière à domicile
17:11qui est venue chez nous,
17:13pis elle dit, t'sais,
17:15c'est quoi ton entourage?
17:17Pis j'aurais été à 12,
17:19mais j'aurais pu continuer.
17:21T'sais, il y a beaucoup de monde,
17:23là. Beaucoup de monde
17:25qui m'aide, pis...
17:27Il y a du monde, là, que ça faisait
17:2910 ans qu'on avait pas joué ensemble,
17:31qu'on avait pas
17:33travaillé ensemble, qu'on s'était pas vus,
17:35t'sais, qui me disaient,
17:37t'sais, je vais venir
17:39te faire des petits plats,
17:41pis je m'en viens te chercher,
17:43pis il y en a un qui m'a acheté
17:45de l'électricité,
17:47de...
17:49T'sais, genre...
17:51Je sais pas.
17:53Tout le monde est tout le temps,
17:55là, genre, j'ai jamais de problème.
17:57T'sais, je suis jamais
17:59inquiète de...
18:01Ah, je vais être toute seule,
18:03ou t'sais...
18:05Il y a tout le temps plein de monde
18:07qui m'aide.
18:09T'sais, ma cousine, elle m'aide
18:11de foule, pis t'sais, aussi
18:13dans le sens que, t'sais,
18:15elle arrive tout le temps
18:17de bonne humeur, t'sais,
18:19elle se plaint jamais, t'sais.
18:21Pis moi, ben, c'est plate,
18:23mais dans ma situation,
18:25je peux plus vraiment écouter
18:27le monde se plaindre, t'sais.
18:29Ben, je peux,
18:31mais...
18:33Il y en a une petite limite,
18:35même, là. Dans le fond, ils font.
18:37T'sais, j'en ai pas de problème,
18:39t'sais.
18:41Parce que j'ai un super bel appart,
18:43t'sais, avec le beau jardin,
18:45toute la patente.
18:47T'sais, mes amis viennent tout le temps me voir.
18:49Je mange ce que je veux,
18:51j'ai pas de problème d'argent.
18:53Je pourrais pas demander mieux, là.
18:55Si j'étais pas tombée malade,
18:57j'aurais pas eu tout ça.
18:59J'aurais jamais eu tout ce monde-là
19:01qui revient dans ma vie
19:03pour s'occuper de moi.
19:05T'sais, j'ai la chance
19:07de savoir que je vais mourir,
19:09parce que moi, j'ai beaucoup d'imagination.
19:11C'est comme un peu ça,
19:13ma job, là, t'sais.
19:15Fait que, t'sais,
19:17je vois plein d'affaires
19:19vraiment belles,
19:21t'sais, comme quasiment trop belles.
19:25Fait que...
19:27Je sais pas, quand le monde,
19:29ils me disent,
19:31ah, pauvre toi, ou t'sais,
19:33des trucs comme ça,
19:35c'est parce qu'ils ont pas mon imagination,
19:37je pense.
19:39Ça va être tellement beau, t'sais.
19:41Pis si, en plus,
19:43je peux aider du monde
19:45sur la Terre
19:47pendant que moi,
19:49j'y suis pas,
19:51t'sais, ça serait la plus belle affaire
19:53au monde, là.
19:55C'est ça qu'il m'avait dit,
19:57de pas être en Italie, là.
19:59Il était comme...
20:01J'ai dit, pourquoi, dans le fond,
20:03il faut partir, là,
20:05là?
20:07Il m'avait dit, parce que...
20:09Il dit, Dieu, des fois,
20:11il veut que t'aides le monde sur Terre.
20:13Pis il dit, des fois, Dieu,
20:15il veut que t'aides le monde
20:17à côté de lui, au paradis.
20:19Pis j'étais comme,
20:21oh, ça, c'est une job qui m'intéresse.
20:23Ça serait trop nice.
20:27T'sais, d'avoir des anges,
20:29pis de pouvoir aider
20:31le monde de l'en haut,
20:33de se ressentir à la maison,
20:35de voir toutes les couleurs
20:37plus belles,
20:39d'être dans un univers
20:41comme ici, t'sais,
20:43mais tout le temps, t'sais.
20:45C'est sûr que quand je me couche
20:47le soir pis je pense à ça,
20:49c'est vraiment beau, là.
20:51C'est à ça que je pense plus.
20:53C'est comme...
20:55vivre dans cette vie-là de couleurs
20:57pis d'aider ceux
20:59qui en ont besoin.
21:01C'est à ça que je pense.
21:11Tout y est s'pense.
21:23I'm walking in the fall of Montreal
21:26It's four o'clock, already dark
21:32I don't know where to go
21:34I hate to be
21:36I hate to see
21:40That I won't go
21:44Cause I don't wanna be alone
21:49No, I won't go
21:53Cause I don't wanna be alone
21:58And in the nights of Montreal
22:01It's four o'clock, already dark
22:03And I saw God
22:07He had a really shiny beard
22:10He drank scotch
22:12And he smelled good
22:15So I could tell that he was God
22:20He drank scotch and he smelled good
22:28I hate to be
22:31I hate to see