Diagnosed with invasive breast cancer, the actress opens up about her yearlong ordeal, her double mastectomy and how her partner John Mulaney and their 2-year-old son give her strength: "It's not just me I'm fighting for."
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00:00 For the first time in my life, I'm not thinking about the past,
00:05 I'm not thinking about the future, I'm just thinking about today.
00:08 And I think that's always been my goal.
00:12 It would have been nice to get there without cancer, but I'm here,
00:17 and I'm really happy that I can just be here today, right now.
00:27 Talking about this publicly has healed me a lot.
00:30 It is hard to keep something like this private as much as you want to be private about it.
00:37 There's some anxiety over it coming out before you're ready for it to come out,
00:45 and the response has been truly amazing and has really healed me a lot.
00:56 And knowing how many women have made calls to their doctors and taken these tests and
01:02 trying to get in front of it has just really filled me with so much joy and happiness.
01:13 And made me feel like, "Okay, I went through this, but it's gonna hopefully help a lot of women."
01:24 And that gives me so much happiness.
01:29 It's all I want is for more women to be able to advocate for themselves.
01:35 And if there's anybody who might be in my same situation, if they find out that they
01:42 end up having cancer they didn't think they did, well, that's all I'm hoping for.
01:46 I don't want to spend any more days not smiling and laughing.
01:52 I don't want to spend any more days not being happy with my baby.
01:56 I want him to see me happy and healthy and strong.
02:00 There are, of course, sad days, and there are times where, you know, I grew my hair out because
02:08 I wanted to be able to cover up some of my scars.
02:12 So sometimes I look in the mirror and I think about, like,
02:14 "Oh, my hair is so long now, and it's because of this."
02:19 And sometimes it makes me a little sad that I still want to hide certain aspects.
02:24 But then I remind myself that those are just battle wounds, and I can show them what I want,
02:35 and I can hide them when I want.
02:37 And even those little things where I don't beat myself up for anything I'm feeling on
02:43 any given day.
02:43 I just let myself feel it, and there's a really nice peace that comes with that.
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