Abonne toi ! :D
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AmusantTranscription
00:00 [Music]
00:04 So, today we're going to talk about space.
00:05 And I'm not talking about the space between your two asses called the ass stop.
00:08 No, my friend, I'm talking about space with a big E, like in...
00:11 Guys, I think I'm going to have a stroke.
00:13 Because there are a little too many people who tend to take themselves a little too seriously
00:15 and a little too much forget that they are not the center of the world.
00:18 You're like a grain of sand in a string string, my guy.
00:20 To be clearer, you do not exist, the chains of the universe, okay?
00:23 Well, now that the rages are gone, we can start.
00:25 In space, there is no oxygen.
00:26 So if my calculations are accurate, which is not sure,
00:28 since I had two in math class because I'm a shit,
00:31 it's a place where you can't breathe.
00:33 So, if you go on vacation on the moon, you can forget your apple peels.
00:36 And if you're a musician, say goodbye to your saxophone solo.
00:38 Except if you're like me and you learned to play the trumpet with your ass, look.
00:42 [Trumpet sound]
00:45 It's not easy, but it works well.
00:46 Rockets, it allows you to travel in space.
00:48 But between us, it still looks like a dick, huh?
00:50 That's what we want to give as an image to extraterrestrial species.
00:53 An intelligent civilization that walks in flying dicks.
00:55 At night, when you look at the sky, you can see the stars.
00:57 And since men are kids, we have fun linking them to create shapes.
01:00 Except we're not fucking giving them coherent names.
01:02 The big bear is a pot, my guy, it's not a bear, okay?
01:05 In space, there is no sound.
01:06 So if you walk on a Lego, nobody will hear you scream.
01:09 And if you want to listen to a best of of song, well, it's dead, my guy.
01:12 All you'll hear is the sound of discomfort.
01:13 But you already know that, since every time you talk, it makes a beat.
01:16 Now, I would like to quote a great man to declare my flame to someone I love.
01:19 "In the universe, there are billions of lives. On Earth, 7 billion human beings.
01:22 Maybe 3 billion girls, but it's you I want."
01:25 Yeah, it's you I'm talking about, Emma Watson. I fucking love you.
01:28 "In space, there is a space station. Basically, it's a house that revolves around the Earth.
01:32 With inside, people who flex their max while literally flying above the Rageurs."
01:35 "SpaceX is Elon Musk's company that sends rockets into space."
01:38 "SpaceFox is Amixem's company that sells sweaters."
01:40 "Too bad, he went two letters from being the richest man in the world."
01:42 "Saturn's rings. It's super stylish, I'm not saying it,
01:44 but I still have a little question for the astrophysicists watching us."
01:47 "Was it already there at the beginning, and the space architects put the planet in the center?"
01:51 "Or is it a planet that decided to become a hula hoop champion?"
01:54 No, but that raises real questions. I don't sleep at night. It's wrong. I sleep very well.
01:57 "In space, there is no gravity, so if you throw a boomerang, it will never come back."
02:00 "And you'll find yourself again waiting for something that will never come back,
02:03 like your father, your ex, or your virginity."
02:05 "There are people who still believe that the Earth is flat,
02:07 which means that when they type "planet Earth" on Google Images,
02:09 and they see that, in fact, well, spoiler, it's round, they're like,
02:11 "Oh yeah, the Earth is round. Fake Photoshop, the media lies to us."
02:14 "So if I understand correctly, the human being is on Earth,
02:16 the Earth is in the solar system, the solar system is in the galaxy..."
02:19 "And the galaxies are in the universe, which itself is infinite."
02:22 "Okay, but it still doesn't tell me where my fucking glasses are!"
02:25 "Oh, yeah, they're here, it's fine."
02:26 "There you go, unfortunately, this video is not infinite like the universe,
02:34 so share the video to the whole galaxy."
02:36 "And come say hello to us in the comment space!"
02:38 "Oh, and come take a look at Tipeee too, there are a lot of new games,
02:41 frankly, it's a delirium."
02:42 [French]