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00:00:00 [BLANK_AUDIO]
00:00:10 [MUSIC]
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00:01:28 >> Thanks for taking the time to do this, Santa.
00:01:30 I know how busy you are this time of year.
00:01:32 >> [LAUGH] We certainly are, Corky.
00:01:35 But we've always got time for our favorite performers.
00:01:39 >> Especially after what happened last year, am I right?
00:01:42 Never underestimate the power of a well-positioned puff piece to make
00:01:46 the public forget.
00:01:47 I'm kidding.
00:01:49 This is gonna be some hard-hitting journalism right here.
00:01:53 Again, kidding.
00:01:56 How about you just show me the reindeer?
00:01:58 [MUSIC]
00:02:07 As you can see, we have no problems with the reindeer.
00:02:10 No problems at all.
00:02:12 >> And we've got everything under control.
00:02:14 >> You're gonna wanna write that one down.
00:02:16 Everything under control.
00:02:18 >> Yeah, wow, I can see that.
00:02:22 It's almost like you didn't even need to establish the training camps.
00:02:27 There's just one thing.
00:02:30 Shouldn't there be eight of them?
00:02:32 >> What?
00:02:32 Well, of course there is a four, five, six, seven.
00:02:38 No.
00:02:40 [MUSIC]
00:02:50 [SOUND]
00:03:00 >> Big dreamers dream big.
00:03:17 >> Come on, Elliot, you can do better than that.
00:03:19 >> Big dreamers dream big.
00:03:22 >> I still can't hear you.
00:03:24 >> Big dreamers dream big.
00:03:27 >> That's what I'm talking about.
00:03:29 Well, don't just stand there grinning like a fool, go.
00:03:32 Go, go, go.
00:03:33 [MUSIC]
00:03:38 Go, go, go, go.
00:03:40 [MUSIC]
00:03:46 Come on.
00:03:48 Go, go, go.
00:03:49 [MUSIC]
00:03:53 14.59 seconds, exactly.
00:03:56 >> Yes, yes, I finally broke 15 seconds.
00:04:00 >> 127th times the charm.
00:04:03 >> Let's hit the salt lake.
00:04:05 >> Aren't you forgetting something?
00:04:08 >> Actually, I thought maybe we could skip it today.
00:04:11 >> Sure, why not?
00:04:12 Cutting a workout short never hurt anyone, right?
00:04:15 >> Exactly, thanks, Hazel.
00:04:18 >> That's so funny.
00:04:19 What's that thing coach always says?
00:04:21 Success trains, failure complains.
00:04:24 No, that's not it.
00:04:26 The moment you quit is the moment you let someone else win?
00:04:30 No, Hazel, no, that's not it either.
00:04:34 I know, if it's important, you'll find a way.
00:04:37 If not, you'll find an excuse.
00:04:39 That's it.
00:04:41 That phrase just popped into my head so out of the blue.
00:04:44 Isn't that so funny and weird?
00:04:47 [MUSIC]
00:04:50 >> Fine, okay, forget I said anything.
00:04:53 I'll do it.
00:04:54 [MUSIC]
00:05:05 I don't know why we're bothering with this.
00:05:08 Really, just give it a decade or two and
00:05:10 global warming is gonna make this a total non-issue.
00:05:12 >> Call me crazy, Elliot, but I don't think our strategy should be predicated on
00:05:16 ecological catastrophe from which the world will never recover.
00:05:19 >> Well, you put it that way.
00:05:22 [MUSIC]
00:05:26 >> All right, okay, good, good start.
00:05:29 >> That's what you always say.
00:05:30 >> Try dispersing your weight more evenly.
00:05:34 That's it, you're doing it.
00:05:36 >> I can't believe it, it's working.
00:05:38 [MUSIC]
00:05:40 >> Uh-oh.
00:05:41 [MUSIC]
00:05:43 >> And that, ladies and goats, is why Santa's always used reindeer.
00:05:48 >> A little help here?
00:05:50 >> Hold your miniature horses.
00:05:51 [MUSIC]
00:05:56 >> What are you two doing messing with the climate generator again?
00:05:59 These things are dangerous.
00:06:01 >> I think I hear peanut butter calling me.
00:06:04 Coming.
00:06:05 >> They already broke the off button.
00:06:07 Next thing you know, the bus, the emergency shut down too.
00:06:10 >> Coach, you worry too much.
00:06:12 [SOUND]
00:06:15 >> Hey, guess what?
00:06:16 I finally broke 15 seconds.
00:06:19 [SOUND]
00:06:21 I mean, yeah, there's still the whole can't climb a snow drift issue to contend with.
00:06:24 But if you just give me a chance, I know I'd have a shot at making Santa's team.
00:06:29 I just know it.
00:06:30 >> Elliot, I can't understand you.
00:06:31 I'm not one of Santa's elves.
00:06:33 [SOUND]
00:06:34 >> Go on now, get.
00:06:36 Goat run's about to start.
00:06:37 >> Coach, not the goats.
00:06:39 Peanut butter can handle the- >> Goats, Elliot.
00:06:42 I wanted to show you my moves.
00:06:43 >> Now.
00:06:44 [MUSIC]
00:06:48 >> Goats, goats, so many goats.
00:06:51 Line up in an orderly fashion.
00:06:54 For the love of, work with me goats.
00:06:57 >> [LAUGH]
00:06:58 >> Get off.
00:07:01 You're late.
00:07:03 And these four goats won't hurt themselves.
00:07:06 >> What?
00:07:06 >> Who are you calling a fool?
00:07:08 >> You, you great cloven hoof nanny.
00:07:11 You have responsibilities, Elliot.
00:07:14 >> Let's just get this over with.
00:07:15 I should totally be carbo loading right now.
00:07:17 >> I'll have you know, the running of the goats has been a beloved and
00:07:21 dignified tradition for more than 25 years.
00:07:24 >> Heads up, old man.
00:07:25 >> [SOUND]
00:07:29 >> Yeah, so dignified.
00:07:32 >> Shut it.
00:07:33 [SOUND]
00:07:34 [MUSIC]
00:07:44 >> Miss Ludzinka?
00:07:55 >> Hello.
00:07:56 >> Didn't we schedule your walkthrough for tomorrow?
00:07:59 >> I come today.
00:08:01 >> I can see that, and that's awesome.
00:08:03 It's just I've got this open house.
00:08:05 >> [FOREIGN]
00:08:07 >> Okay then, great chat.
00:08:10 >> [LAUGH]
00:08:15 >> I haven't seen a crowd like this since I was but a wee boy.
00:08:19 >> This calls for an inspirational speech.
00:08:21 >> [COUGH]
00:08:23 >> Goats of Witte Bete, hear me now.
00:08:28 You've come to run us free goats, and free goats you are.
00:08:33 >> The old coot's finally lost it.
00:08:35 >> You're assuming he ever had it.
00:08:37 >> What will you do with that freedom goats?
00:08:39 >> [SOUND]
00:08:41 >> [LAUGH]
00:08:47 >> I go, run and you may die.
00:08:50 Don't run and you'll live, at least a while.
00:08:53 >> What kind of a pep talk is this?
00:08:55 >> But would you be willing to trade everything for
00:08:58 one chance to tell our enemy that they may take our goats,
00:09:03 but they will never take our Godland.
00:09:07 [FOREIGN]
00:09:09 [MUSIC]
00:09:14 >> Hello, goat.
00:09:15 [MUSIC]
00:09:27 >> 90 seconds lead, Blueberry.
00:09:29 >> Thanks.
00:09:30 [MUSIC]
00:09:40 >> Thanks, Elliot.
00:09:51 >> [APPLAUSE]
00:09:55 >> I forgot how good a duration feels.
00:09:58 >> I'm pretty sure they're cheering for me.
00:10:00 >> Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Shorty.
00:10:02 [SOUND]
00:10:04 [MUSIC]
00:10:14 [SOUND]
00:10:24 >> Here they are, the reindeer, the reindeer are following here.
00:10:32 [SOUND]
00:10:34 [MUSIC]
00:11:02 >> You people love DJ, yes, you do.
00:11:06 [MUSIC]
00:11:14 It's true, DJ is fabulous.
00:11:19 Okay, huddle up.
00:11:20 >> All right, good run, guys, good run.
00:11:22 Nice workout there.
00:11:23 >> Hey, everyone, I'm all warmed up and ready to go.
00:11:26 >> Hey, come on, guys, make some room.
00:11:29 >> Yo, Mini Man, I thought I made myself clear yesterday.
00:11:34 >> Let him join in, DJ, we don't mind.
00:11:36 >> Well, I'm team captain and I do.
00:11:39 When you gonna give up, runt?
00:11:41 Cuz DJ is getting tired of this.
00:11:45 >> I'll never give up, so DJ better get used to it.
00:11:49 >> Is that so?
00:11:50 >> Yeah, it is.
00:11:52 >> I'll say this, little dude, persistence is an admirable quality.
00:11:56 It's real admirable.
00:11:57 >> Thanks, DJ, I appreciate that.
00:12:00 >> [LAUGH] >> More reindeer.
00:12:02 >> [LAUGH] >> Stinking reindeer,
00:12:05 think they're so special.
00:12:07 >> Don't look now, but what are you doing?
00:12:11 I said not to look, why are you looking?
00:12:13 >> Hello.
00:12:14 [MUSIC]
00:12:20 >> So you gonna eat that?
00:12:25 >> What?
00:12:26 No, come on, Hazel.
00:12:27 >> [MUSIC]
00:12:33 >> That is the worst beef jerky I've ever tasted in my life.
00:12:36 >> That's because beef had nothing to do with it.
00:12:39 >> Why, what's it say?
00:12:41 >> Luzinka's Llama Sticks.
00:12:44 >> What the what?
00:12:45 >> Raised by Mama Llama in Peru, dehydrated by Luzinka in Duluth?
00:12:51 >> This just in from Santa's workshop, the world sits stunned at this
00:12:56 holiday season by a startling turn of events at the North Pole.
00:13:00 >> My gosh, it can't be true.
00:13:02 >> So close to Christmas?
00:13:03 [MUSIC]
00:13:06 >> I can confirm the movie.
00:13:07 Lanzon announced his retirement late last night, effective immediately.
00:13:12 >> Was it a medical emergency?
00:13:14 >> A family crisis?
00:13:15 >> Or is he the one behind dancers' conscious uncoupling?
00:13:18 Because there's been talk and photos.
00:13:21 >> You're everywhere.
00:13:22 >> Ha-ha!
00:13:24 >> The truth is, a juice bar in the Keys he'd been eyeing for a while
00:13:29 finally came on the market.
00:13:31 Accordingly, we're calling up our top draft candidates for an emergency trial
00:13:37 session starting tomorrow.
00:13:39 >> You can't possibly expect to find a replacement in three days.
00:13:42 >> Will there even be a Christmas?
00:13:44 >> And to split into a cold pristina side blend?
00:13:46 >> Because my adrenals have been super sluggish.
00:13:49 >> No more questions.
00:13:53 >> Well, what are you all looking at?
00:13:55 >> We got a tryout to get to.
00:13:57 >> [APPLAUSE]
00:13:58 >> DJ's going to the big leagues.
00:13:59 DJ's going to the big leagues.
00:14:00 DJ's going to the big leagues.
00:14:01 Yes, he is.
00:14:02 Yes, he is.
00:14:03 >> Zip it, rock star.
00:14:07 >> What's your problem, Clyde?
00:14:09 Why you got to rain on DJ's parade?
00:14:12 >> Who said you're our top pick?
00:14:14 >> Oh, I get it.
00:14:16 You want DJ to be a little more rain dearly.
00:14:20 Mr. Assistant coach, sir, even though I'm the number one seed in the whole entire
00:14:24 world, I humbly ask that you choose me for the honor, nay, the privilege to
00:14:30 serve as the Witty Bitty Farms representative at the North Pole tryout,
00:14:34 but only if it pleases you, your most gracious imminence.
00:14:40 Please, Mr. Assistant coach.
00:14:42 >> Who promises to be a good boy?
00:14:44 >> Knock it off, all of you.
00:14:48 >> Why Santa insists on working with reindeer when any other animal can do a
00:14:52 better job, I'll never know.
00:14:54 >> And if coach understood even half the trash you nitwits talk, he'd agree.
00:14:59 >> Did you hear that, Hazel?
00:15:01 This is my chance to prove I'm just as good as any stinking reindeer.
00:15:05 >> Good luck.
00:15:08 >> So the housing market's pretty crazy here in the North Pole, isn't it?
00:15:10 >> Elliot, what are you doing?
00:15:12 >> Demonstrating a hairpin turn.
00:15:14 >> Why?
00:15:16 >> Hey, coach, check it out.
00:15:22 Stopping on a dime.
00:15:24 >> There's a shortage of housing, I hear.
00:15:26 >> I'm even amazing in reverse, coach.
00:15:28 >> Elliot, stop.
00:15:30 >> But I've been training so hard, Clyde.
00:15:32 If you and coach would just give me a chance.
00:15:36 >> Well, looky, looky, little horses trying out.
00:15:40 Oh, man, DJ couldn't ask for a final humiliation himself.
00:15:44 >> Nice form.
00:15:46 >> Little guy's not half bad.
00:15:48 >> What?
00:15:52 >> Not again.
00:15:54 >> Get him back to the goat pen, would you, old fella?
00:15:56 >> I don't have time for any more of his antics today.
00:15:59 >> Coach, wait, you didn't see me run the tire course yet.
00:16:02 Coach, please.
00:16:04 >> Oh, no.
00:16:06 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:16:09 >> Elliot, you okay in there?
00:16:12 >> [ Laughs ]
00:16:14 Whoo!
00:16:16 >> He didn't even notice me.
00:16:20 >> What a loser.
00:16:22 No, you didn't.
00:16:24 >> You don't want to be a part of this anyway, kid.
00:16:27 >> Back to the goat.
00:16:29 Goat walking.
00:16:31 >> You got to go walking.
00:16:35 >> Oh, Elliot.
00:16:39 >> 'Twas a solid effort, lad.
00:16:41 >> Yeah, thanks.
00:16:43 >> But that's what you get for trying to be something you're not.
00:16:46 >> Well, pardon me for wanting to do something important with my life.
00:16:50 >> Are you implying my life isn't important?
00:16:53 To think I thought you'd take over for me one day.
00:16:57 >> You don't deserve the honor of overseeing the goat run.
00:17:01 >> Nobody cares about the goat run.
00:17:06 >> Or the mini-horses in charge of it.
00:17:20 >> Hey, Elliot, wake up.
00:17:23 Just get up.
00:17:25 >> Come on!
00:17:27 >> Hazel?
00:17:28 What are you doing?
00:17:30 >> Oh, you know, just heading up the back nine.
00:17:32 Want to play back a ball?
00:17:34 >> You're golfing?
00:17:35 >> I'm stuck.
00:17:37 Help me.
00:17:39 >> Wait.
00:17:41 You're not going to eat that, are you?
00:17:44 >> Oh, how dare he.
00:17:46 That is a vicious stereotype.
00:17:48 I have never eaten a tin can in my life.
00:17:51 Okay, fine.
00:17:53 I'm a goat and I eat tin cans, all right?
00:17:57 Can you please stop judging me now?
00:17:59 I am vulnerable.
00:18:01 >> What do you need me to do?
00:18:03 >> Pull.
00:18:07 Whoa, easy.
00:18:11 You're going to have to go get that.
00:18:13 >> It's your can.
00:18:14 You get it.
00:18:15 >> Fine, we'll do it together.
00:18:17 >> Big baby.
00:18:18 >> One, two, three.
00:18:22 >> I mean, I love you.
00:18:24 >> Grab it.
00:18:29 >> Young man, no wife, no children.
00:18:32 To own a petting zoo is weird to me.
00:18:35 >> Yeah, okay.
00:18:36 Well, like I said, I inherited the place from my grandparents.
00:18:40 >> You're sure you'll be able to give them a good home, miss Lutsinka?
00:18:43 >> No need, darling.
00:18:45 I give my animals only the best.
00:18:47 Organic feed, insulated pens.
00:18:49 I keep them very happy and tenderized.
00:18:54 >> Sorry, did you say tenderized?
00:18:57 >> Tenderhearted.
00:18:58 Forgive me, my English not so good.
00:19:02 >> Oh.
00:19:04 >> Sure you know throwing reindeer?
00:19:06 >> I like reindeer.
00:19:08 Good and gamey.
00:19:10 I mean, good at games.
00:19:12 I mean, I love to play different games with my friends.
00:19:17 >> The reindeer are the future of this place.
00:19:19 Now only the petting zoo animals are for sale.
00:19:22 >> Okay.
00:19:23 I already make you a good offer.
00:19:25 Better than anyone else's, I'm sure.
00:19:28 >> Actually, you made the only offer, so --
00:19:32 >> You know so good at bargaining thing, huh?
00:19:35 >> What do you mean?
00:19:37 >> Oh, nothing, nothing.
00:19:39 >> Shake hand.
00:19:40 >> We have deal.
00:19:43 >> We'll finalize the paperwork when I get back.
00:19:45 >> Oh.
00:19:47 >> Very much.
00:19:54 >> Peanut butter, wake up.
00:19:57 >> What are you two dunderheads doing in my stall at this unholy hour?
00:20:02 >> Coach is selling us peanut butter.
00:20:04 >> To a crazy lady.
00:20:06 >> Who dehydrates llamas in Duluth.
00:20:08 >> So he's finally found a buyer.
00:20:10 >> You knew about this?
00:20:12 And you didn't try to stop it?
00:20:15 What happened to glory and honor?
00:20:17 What happened to never taking our goat run?
00:20:20 >> One thing has nothing to do with the other.
00:20:24 It's time to stop fighting what you are and accept your station, Elliot.
00:20:29 Life's easier that way.
00:20:34 >> You get Ignacio, I'll get the goats.
00:20:36 >> We wouldn't last a day in the wild.
00:20:38 >> Well, that's longer than we'd last in a dehydrator.
00:20:41 >> We're not running away, Hazel.
00:20:43 >> Of course we're running away.
00:20:44 What else could we possibly do?
00:20:50 >> Are we about to commit a crime?
00:20:52 >> It's a gray area.
00:20:54 >> Because I've always thought I'd make an excellent saboteur.
00:20:59 >> Sabotage isn't exactly what I had in mind.
00:21:07 >> Oh, what a DJing morning.
00:21:11 Oh, what a DJing day.
00:21:13 Everybody now.
00:21:15 >> We've got a DJing feeling.
00:21:18 Everything's DJ today.
00:21:21 >> You know, DJ's going to miss you all when he's working with the big man.
00:21:25 >> We're going to miss you too, DJ.
00:21:27 >> Oh.
00:21:29 DJ didn't really mean it.
00:21:31 He was just being polite.
00:21:33 >> See you on the other side, suckers!
00:21:44 >> Shut that thing, Hazel.
00:21:47 I'm serious.
00:21:48 Quiet.
00:21:49 >> I'm trying.
00:21:50 I'm trying.
00:21:53 >> I think I got it this time.
00:21:59 >> Purring like a kitten.
00:22:05 >> What is the matter with you?
00:22:07 >> It's no big deal.
00:22:08 I just --
00:22:10 >> What is going on?
00:22:12 >> I just maybe, probably, really shouldn't have eaten that can.
00:22:20 >> Third time's the charm.
00:22:24 Yes!
00:22:26 >> Hurry up and get in before she stalls again.
00:22:44 >> You look really bad.
00:22:46 >> Got to get that can through the old duo denim, you know?
00:22:50 >> Um, no.
00:22:52 >> You're right, things can get messy.
00:22:56 That's only happened a couple of times in the past.
00:22:59 >> What?
00:23:00 >> All right, Sherlock, it was five times.
00:23:02 Okay, six, fine.
00:23:03 Seven.
00:23:04 I've had complications of ingesting cans eight times in the past.
00:23:08 You never know how things will shake out.
00:23:11 A rumor that's gastrointestinal tract is full of surprises.
00:23:15 >> What happened to the engine?
00:23:22 >> Oh!
00:23:24 >> We're going to have to make an emergency landing!
00:23:29 >> We're all going to die!
00:23:35 >> Trying to hit that tree, folks?
00:23:45 >> Hazel!
00:23:46 >> Help me!
00:23:47 >> Come on, Hazel!
00:23:49 Reach!
00:23:53 Hazel!
00:24:00 >> Wow, how about that?
00:24:03 >> What?
00:24:05 >> That can just shook itself right out.
00:24:08 >> Oh, no!
00:24:11 [dramatic music]
00:24:14 ♪ ♪
00:24:22 ♪ ♪
00:24:29 >> This is where reindeer become heroes, boys.
00:24:47 >> Nice ride.
00:24:51 >> You make that thing out of your green,
00:24:56 peasant gardens and salvage tractor parts?
00:24:59 >> Yeah, why?
00:25:00 >> [laughing]
00:25:05 >> Flying corporate or nothing from now on.
00:25:07 I am not even kidding.
00:25:09 >> Oh, nibbles.
00:25:11 Let's chat.
00:25:13 >> Forget it, we have to register while the others are
00:25:16 distracted.
00:25:17 >> Not even a carrot?
00:25:18 >> Come on.
00:25:19 >> I'm so hungry.
00:25:22 >> Woo-hoo!
00:25:24 That's my boy!
00:25:26 [laughing]
00:25:30 >> Walter Wittig the third, right?
00:25:32 >> Do I know you?
00:25:34 >> I don't think so.
00:25:35 >> Because you look exactly like my next girlfriend.
00:25:39 >> Oh, I'm sorry.
00:25:40 >> You look exactly like my next girlfriend.
00:25:46 I'm Walter Wittig, yes.
00:25:47 >> Oh, yeah, you're the team from the petting zoo, the
00:25:51 Witty Bitty Farm.
00:25:52 >> Wittig's reindeer training camp, actually.
00:25:54 We're rebranding.
00:25:55 >> Aren't you some kind of minor league baseball star or
00:25:58 something?
00:25:59 >> Youngest shortstop ever drafted.
00:26:01 >> Ooh, impressive.
00:26:03 I bet you'll be called up to the majors any day now.
00:26:06 >> Oh, yeah.
00:26:07 Major league baseball isn't all it's cracked up to be.
00:26:10 I decided to do something important with my life,
00:26:13 something truly fulfilling, you know, for the kids.
00:26:16 >> How noble.
00:26:17 >> That's just the kind of guy I am.
00:26:20 Noble, magnanimous, benevolent.
00:26:22 I could go on.
00:26:24 >> I'm sure you could.
00:26:25 The thing is, I heard you got sidelined by a case of the
00:26:28 yips.
00:26:29 >> What?
00:26:30 >> Word is, you woke up one day and completely lost your
00:26:33 ability to throw the ball to first base.
00:26:35 Poof, like you never had it at all.
00:26:37 >> That's not -- where did you -- I mean, okay, also, dude,
00:26:41 the yips is not the preferred nomenclature.
00:26:43 >> Miss place focus, please.
00:26:45 >> You couldn't hit a barn ten feet in front of you to save
00:26:48 your life.
00:26:49 >> That only happened the one time.
00:26:51 >> Sure it did.
00:26:52 Good luck out there, sports star.
00:26:55 >> That could have gone better.
00:26:59 Oh, man, this is perfect.
00:27:01 Everyone in the world is going to want to visit the petting zoo
00:27:04 that produced Santa's first non-reindeer reindeer.
00:27:07 Coach will make so much money, he won't have to sell us
00:27:10 anymore.
00:27:11 >> And all you have to do is beat 20 of the world's toughest
00:27:14 contenders in a grueling three-day competition to make it
00:27:17 happen.
00:27:18 >> Next.
00:27:22 >> Where's your human?
00:27:23 >> He's busy in the -- you know what, I'd like to check in a
00:27:27 player, please.
00:27:28 >> I'm only permitted to deal with humans.
00:27:30 It's a union thing.
00:27:31 >> His name is Elliot, that is E-L-L-I-O-T-E.
00:27:36 >> At least I think there's an E on the end.
00:27:39 Literacy has never been my strong point.
00:27:41 >> Seriously, get your human.
00:27:42 >> He's allergic to tree nuts, best take it easy on the dairy
00:27:45 too.
00:27:46 >> Since you're obviously never going to leave, fine, name and
00:27:49 feed her farm before I change my mind.
00:27:51 >> Yeah, so again, his name is Elliot and we are an independent
00:27:54 entry.
00:27:55 >> You got a wild card then?
00:27:57 >> Did I mention he has a nut allergy?
00:28:00 >> I'll take that as a no.
00:28:01 >> What do you see what he can do?
00:28:03 >> Oh, for the love of Kepler, if it will hurry you up, show me
00:28:06 this player of yours.
00:28:09 >> Ta-da.
00:28:12 >> You want to enter a pony in the north pole triad.
00:28:15 >> I am a miniature.
00:28:17 >> Next.
00:28:21 >> What are we going to do, Hazel?
00:28:23 If I can't register, I can't compete.
00:28:25 >> No, no, no, it's all a big misunderstanding.
00:28:29 >> We warned you about the extra magic cookies, Moshinika.
00:28:32 >> Gentlemen, be reasonable.
00:28:34 >> I'm sure we can work this out.
00:28:37 >> Frightening Santa's helpers, Yuri.
00:28:40 How do you sleep at night?
00:28:43 Enjoy the naughty list.
00:28:47 >> Oh.
00:28:48 >> Hazel, you don't even know what that is.
00:28:53 >> Standard 65 pound card stock flavored with number 12 ink.
00:28:57 >> I'm number 12 ink intolerant.
00:28:59 >> What?
00:29:00 It's a thing.
00:29:02 >> Hazel, you are a genius.
00:29:06 >> I know.
00:29:07 What's it say?
00:29:11 >> Follow me.
00:29:13 >> Can you just read it to me?
00:29:15 >> Mm, mm, mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm.
00:29:20 This is some quality produce.
00:29:25 >> Hello, junior.
00:29:30 >> Oh, hey, dad.
00:29:32 Didn't realize you'd make it to the tryouts.
00:29:35 >> How are things at the brittle -- what's that place called again?
00:29:40 >> Wittick's witty, witty farm, which you'd know if you ever bothered to visit.
00:29:46 >> Yes.
00:29:47 Well.
00:29:49 Oh, dear.
00:29:54 >> Good luck, son.
00:29:58 Oh, and junior.
00:30:00 >> Yeah, dad?
00:30:01 >> Try not to embarrass me, okay?
00:30:12 >> Say hello to glitzen.
00:30:14 >> Glitzen?
00:30:15 What kind of name is glitzen?
00:30:17 >> Weren't you just here?
00:30:19 >> Are you going to sign us in or do I have to go over your head on this?
00:30:25 >> Do we have a problem here, jolene?
00:30:27 >> This goat's pulling a fast one.
00:30:29 I've got a wild card and I've got a player.
00:30:31 How is that a fast one?
00:30:33 >> This is your player.
00:30:38 >> We're blown.
00:30:39 He knows.
00:30:40 >> He doesn't know.
00:30:41 Stop talking.
00:30:42 >> He totally knows.
00:30:43 >> Go ahead, sign him in.
00:30:44 >> What?
00:30:45 >> He's a low regulation weight and height, he doesn't have a human, and I'm almost positive I checked in all the wild cards.
00:30:51 >> Who gives the orders around here?
00:30:54 >> You do, sir.
00:30:56 >> Then sign him in.
00:30:59 Thanks.
00:31:01 >> It's going to be a long day.
00:31:03 >> I knew I shouldn't have picked up this shift.
00:31:09 >> I guess we should try to find out who your main competition is.
00:31:16 >> Aside from the obvious.
00:31:18 >> I already know.
00:31:20 There's Heinrich, the Dutch dream.
00:31:23 Svetlana, the Polish punisher and her best friend Olga, the Swedish destroyer.
00:31:28 Then we've got the Canadian, aka Sasha second place.
00:31:32 >> Ouch.
00:31:33 >> Watch it, Dutch boy.
00:31:35 >> What is her problem?
00:31:37 >> She's got a huge chip on her shoulder.
00:31:39 Dad, grandma and great uncle all second picks at previous tryouts.
00:31:43 A lot of pressure to break the family curse.
00:31:45 >> All right, everybody, pipe down.
00:31:49 Welcome, one and all.
00:31:51 Santa's delighted you made the long journey and his blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:31:55 Okay, here's the deal.
00:31:57 We've got three days to find our next Blitzen.
00:32:00 Of course, when we set up this system, we envisioned a much longer process.
00:32:06 But since your predecessor proved like so many before him that reindeer are unreliable, self-absorbed,
00:32:12 egomaniacal quitters who possess nary a hint of social responsibility nor personal honor.
00:32:17 >> Who do you think you are?
00:32:19 >> Oh, reindeer man.
00:32:21 >> This guy is amazing.
00:32:23 >> Oh, I see.
00:32:24 You're under the impression that reindeers are noble creatures.
00:32:27 >> Hey, I got a good idea.
00:32:29 How about I enlighten you to the way things lead?
00:32:32 It all started in 1953 when Vixen decided to have a family and move to the suburbs.
00:32:39 Now, I'll be the first to admit the Vixen thing caught us off guard.
00:32:42 Of course, her real mistake was thinking that it was a fluke because 14 years later,
00:32:46 along comes a little movement known as flower power, and Comet takes off to some ashram to find himself.
00:32:54 Then in 1988, Cupid defected to Moscow after falling in love again, this time with a little Siberian number by the name of Vladlina.
00:33:04 On Christmas Eve, no less.
00:33:06 Which brings us to last year's incident when Prancer decided he needed some me time.
00:33:13 I mean, have you ever heard such self-absorbed baloney in all your life?
00:33:18 Oh, wait.
00:33:19 Look who I'm talking to.
00:33:21 Of course you have.
00:33:22 Wait a minute.
00:33:24 Are you kidding me?
00:33:25 Save your whining for the sports psychologist.
00:33:29 The point is, punks, it's no longer just about skill.
00:33:33 We're looking for strength of character, integrity, loyalty, qualities that seem to have eluded your species for quite some time.
00:33:41 Now get out of here.
00:33:43 First event starts in the main field in five.
00:33:46 [music]
00:33:48 [chanting]
00:34:01 Hey, psst.
00:34:08 Little league tryouts were last week, small fry.
00:34:11 Good one.
00:34:13 Quick question, though.
00:34:15 Are you looking forward to coming in second again, Janie Canuck?
00:34:19 Oh, no, no, I'm sorry.
00:34:21 I didn't mean that.
00:34:22 I was only trying to--
00:34:23 I'm just messing with you, Tiny.
00:34:25 Would you two keep it down?
00:34:26 TJ's trying to get himself in the zone over here.
00:34:29 [music]
00:34:31 All right, folks.
00:34:36 This ain't rocket science.
00:34:39 First ten get to stick around for tomorrow's event.
00:34:41 I'll see the rest of you.
00:34:43 Bye-bye.
00:34:44 Take your marks.
00:34:46 [music]
00:34:48 Go, TJ, go!
00:34:54 Line up your knees.
00:34:55 Head down!
00:34:57 [music]
00:35:00 [grunt]
00:35:01 [grunt]
00:35:06 [grunt]
00:35:09 This is just another go-around.
00:35:15 Come on, Blitzen!
00:35:17 You can do this!
00:35:18 You do this every day!
00:35:20 Duck and weave, Blitzen!
00:35:22 What?
00:35:24 Duck and weave!
00:35:26 [music]
00:35:29 [music]
00:35:31 Look at TJ go!
00:35:34 Those clouds never had a chance.
00:35:36 Enough of this nonsense.
00:35:38 There's a footy match against the old enemy on Channel 3.
00:35:42 Hey!
00:35:43 [music]
00:35:45 Did somebody order a Swedish meatball?
00:35:52 [music]
00:35:54 Get out of there, Blitzen!
00:35:57 Go!
00:35:58 Move!
00:35:59 [grunt]
00:36:00 [music]
00:36:02 [grunt]
00:36:07 What?
00:36:08 [music]
00:36:10 That little reindeer looks just like you, peanut butter.
00:36:13 [music]
00:36:14 Naughty.
00:36:15 [music]
00:36:16 [music]
00:36:17 [grunt]
00:36:18 [music]
00:36:19 He's got it!
00:36:20 He's got it!
00:36:21 Yeah!
00:36:22 [music]
00:36:23 Yes!
00:36:24 Yes!
00:36:25 TJ loves it!
00:36:26 [music]
00:36:27 [laugh]
00:36:28 You see that?
00:36:29 The training camp's gonna pay off.
00:36:31 Hey, your boy's got good legs.
00:36:33 He just broke your record, right?
00:36:35 Not even close.
00:36:37 [music]
00:36:38 [cheering]
00:36:39 [music]
00:36:40 [cheering]
00:36:41 [music]
00:36:42 [cheering]
00:36:43 [music]
00:36:44 [cheering]
00:36:45 [music]
00:36:46 [cheering]
00:36:47 [music]
00:36:48 [cheering]
00:36:49 Yes!
00:36:50 Yes!
00:36:51 Right in your face!
00:36:52 [laugh]
00:36:53 [music]
00:36:54 [cheering]
00:36:55 [music]
00:36:56 [cheering]
00:36:57 Elliot, that was amazing!
00:36:59 Can you believe it, Hazel?
00:37:01 I did it!
00:37:02 I actually made it through!
00:37:04 What are you two doing here?
00:37:06 Uh-oh.
00:37:07 Um, do we know each other?
00:37:09 I'm pretty sure we've met, Elliot.
00:37:11 Nice hat, Hazel.
00:37:13 Please don't tell Coach we're here, Clyde.
00:37:15 Give me one good reason why not.
00:37:17 Because I can do this.
00:37:19 Did you see that?
00:37:21 I made the cut.
00:37:22 Dead last on qualifier.
00:37:24 You must be so proud.
00:37:26 Okay, yeah, I was last.
00:37:28 But did you see me out there?
00:37:29 I was on fire!
00:37:31 Sloppy footwork, appalling technique,
00:37:33 and a total disregard for presentation.
00:37:35 [laugh]
00:37:36 Some fire.
00:37:37 Yeah?
00:37:38 Well, what do you know?
00:37:39 You're just a cranky old draft horse
00:37:41 who's pulled one too many kegs.
00:37:44 Forget I said anything.
00:37:45 You'll make a perfect reindeer.
00:37:47 [music]
00:37:50 Okay, time to hit the buffet.
00:37:52 [music]
00:37:58 Ugh.
00:37:59 We should just go home
00:38:01 and take our chances with the meat lady.
00:38:03 Oh, yeah, sure.
00:38:04 Let's quit now.
00:38:05 Give up on everything you've been working
00:38:07 your entire life for.
00:38:08 Great plan.
00:38:09 I'm serious.
00:38:10 Sure you are.
00:38:12 Athletes.
00:38:15 Wait a second.
00:38:16 Where is everyone?
00:38:18 Hey, Glitzen!
00:38:20 You coming to the after party?
00:38:22 Ooh, is that where they serve dessert?
00:38:24 Is there a chocolate fountain?
00:38:25 Reindeer only.
00:38:27 Sorry.
00:38:28 I'm not really in a party mood.
00:38:30 Why not?
00:38:31 You were amazing today.
00:38:33 I was?
00:38:34 Are you kidding?
00:38:35 I just saw the replay.
00:38:36 That duck and weave bit was awesome.
00:38:39 Oh, actually, that was--
00:38:40 Just a little reindeer move
00:38:42 I came up with back at the reindeer training camp.
00:38:45 You know, with the other reindeer.
00:38:47 Like me.
00:38:48 Excuse me?
00:38:49 Well, come on, then.
00:38:50 Don't just stand there looking short.
00:38:52 Okay.
00:38:53 Yeah.
00:38:54 Yeah, you're right, Sasha.
00:38:55 A party sounds like a great idea.
00:38:57 Enjoy the buffet, Hazel.
00:38:59 So this is like a Christmas party?
00:39:07 Um, not exactly.
00:39:09 Younglings!
00:39:11 Welcome.
00:39:12 We got food, beverages, flea dip.
00:39:15 Um, is that the North Pole?
00:39:19 Yeah, we steal it every year.
00:39:22 What's that stuff all over it?
00:39:24 Butter.
00:39:25 Makes it good and slippery.
00:39:28 Oh!
00:39:29 You two want to give it a try?
00:39:31 Do we have a choice?
00:39:33 Oh, what do you think we are?
00:39:35 A couple of heartless monsters?
00:39:37 Because you would be right.
00:39:39 Go on, then.
00:39:41 Go on.
00:39:42 Have fun, y'all.
00:39:45 [♪♪♪]
00:39:48 [♪♪♪]
00:39:58 [whistling]
00:40:01 Huh?
00:40:06 Come on, come on.
00:40:08 Where is it?
00:40:09 I know I saw it around here somewhere.
00:40:12 [♪♪♪]
00:40:15 [thud]
00:40:17 [♪♪♪]
00:40:20 [thud]
00:40:22 [♪♪♪]
00:40:25 That must be where we get the dessert.
00:40:31 Man, are you kidding me?
00:40:35 No one can win this thing.
00:40:37 Seriously, where's an opposing thumb when you need it?
00:40:40 No one can win.
00:40:42 No one.
00:40:44 [speaking in German]
00:40:47 Dude, speak English.
00:40:49 You know DJ doesn't understand Korean?
00:40:52 He's Dutch, you idiot.
00:40:54 Hey, I know what to do.
00:40:55 I think DJ knows Korean when he hears it, Sasha.
00:40:58 Listen, I have an idea.
00:41:00 No, she has a right. I am Dutch.
00:41:02 Guys, we're all losers.
00:41:05 Excuse me?
00:41:06 You said it yourself, DJ.
00:41:08 This is impossible.
00:41:09 But if someone doesn't get that hat down, we all lose.
00:41:13 All of us.
00:41:15 As a group.
00:41:17 Some might even call it a team.
00:41:20 You see where I'm going with this?
00:41:22 Oh, I see.
00:41:25 Let's do this.
00:41:27 [♪♪♪]
00:41:29 Whoa, what? What just--
00:41:31 I don't get it.
00:41:33 [♪♪♪]
00:41:36 Are you wearing wool shoes, girl?
00:41:39 [♪♪♪]
00:41:55 Oh, man, I love being a reindeer.
00:41:58 Good to know, considering you've been one your entire life.
00:42:02 Oh, yeah, right.
00:42:04 Like the saying, "Being a reindeer is awesome."
00:42:08 Whoa, hold up.
00:42:10 Do I know you, little dude?
00:42:12 Me? No.
00:42:14 No, we just met, remember?
00:42:17 Yeah, but you're looking awfully familiar all of a sudden.
00:42:22 Oh, is that my coach calling me? I should go.
00:42:25 [♪♪♪]
00:42:28 That was weird.
00:42:29 Something's not right, Sasha.
00:42:31 I know it.
00:42:33 [♪♪♪]
00:42:39 Oh, wow.
00:42:42 Oh, my goodness.
00:42:44 The kitchen must be behind all these shiny new sleighs.
00:42:48 [♪♪♪]
00:43:01 [♪♪♪]
00:43:04 What are you doing back here?
00:43:06 [clears throat]
00:43:08 Oh, hello, good sir.
00:43:10 Would you be so kind as to direct me to the ladies' room?
00:43:14 So sorry, madam, I cannot.
00:43:16 'Cause you're a ghost!
00:43:18 You're not authorized to be here either.
00:43:21 Would someone please tell me what is going on?
00:43:24 Sugar Plum, there you are.
00:43:27 I've been looking all over for you.
00:43:29 I've got a bag of dog treats in my purse if you play along.
00:43:32 Lady, do I look like I eat kibble?
00:43:34 Why, my lemon drop, what is all this?
00:43:36 It's how the North Pole keeps up with the rest of the world.
00:43:40 And it's supposed to be top secret, by the way, so if you do not mind.
00:43:44 It's just, there sure are a lot of mechanical sleighs in here.
00:43:49 Seriously, this place is packed.
00:43:51 And I always thought they were manufactured exclusively for the training farms.
00:43:55 Oh, yeah, that is right, they sure are.
00:43:57 Yet here we stand, in the heart of the North Pole,
00:44:00 surrounded by a veritable fleet of them.
00:44:02 Hey, she's right! What gives, Elf?
00:44:05 Care to comment?
00:44:07 Well, I suppose we couldn't expect to keep it a secret forever.
00:44:11 Keep what a secret?
00:44:13 How we survived the Prancer crisis, of course.
00:44:16 How do you think Santa handled a typhoon, two blizzards,
00:44:19 and the worst fog the eastern seaboard had ever seen with his team down a man?
00:44:23 Everyone knows last year was an outright disaster.
00:44:26 The one thing Santa didn't do was handle it.
00:44:29 Of course he handled it!
00:44:31 He was just a little late.
00:44:34 A little?
00:44:37 Just seven hours.
00:44:40 The candy cane has cracked, I repeat, the candy cane has cracked!
00:44:45 Oh, no, no!
00:44:47 We did what we had to do, and we got the job done.
00:44:55 These sleighs are something else.
00:44:58 No need to be fed or groomed.
00:45:01 Don't need any sleep or exercise.
00:45:04 100% hassle-free.
00:45:06 Oh, I love technology.
00:45:09 Not more than you love the reindeer, though, right?
00:45:13 Oh, yeah, no, of course not.
00:45:16 I love the reindeers. They're so much fun.
00:45:21 So this is, what, a backup system?
00:45:24 Sure, okay, a backup system.
00:45:27 That's a good phrase.
00:45:31 Now, if you don't mind...
00:45:34 He's a terrible liar.
00:45:38 Yep. So, how about those dog treats?
00:45:43 [roaring]
00:45:45 [yawns]
00:46:00 [roars]
00:46:02 You promised you'd stop doing that!
00:46:05 I saw something really strange last night, Elliot.
00:46:08 Last night? Oh, man.
00:46:10 Lemon Drop's got this secret lab.
00:46:12 You should have been there, Hazel.
00:46:14 Full of mechanical sleighs!
00:46:16 There was reindeer. I think he's up to something.
00:46:18 And butter? Elliot, stop yapping about the stupid reindeer and listen to me!
00:46:23 Reindeer aren't stupid. Uh, excuse me?
00:46:26 They're actually pretty great. They're great?
00:46:29 I mean, even DJ's okay once you get to know him.
00:46:32 Okay, fine. Let's say they can be nice to other reindeer.
00:46:37 How do you think they're going to react when you take off those antlers?
00:46:42 Maybe I won't have to.
00:46:44 What are you even talking about?
00:46:46 I just mean I might not even win.
00:46:48 So there's no point in worrying about any of that right now.
00:46:52 I have to get to the gym before all the machines are taken.
00:46:56 I'll see you later, Hazel.
00:46:59 [growls]
00:47:01 [footsteps]
00:47:06 [sniffles]
00:47:08 [sniffles]
00:47:10 You don't look like a reindeer ready for his first flight.
00:47:13 DJ's got the sniffles!
00:47:15 [sniffles]
00:47:16 And it's freezing out there!
00:47:18 You're a reindeer, DJ. You're genetically built for the cold.
00:47:23 [sniffles]
00:47:25 So that's it. After all our work, everything Coach has done for you,
00:47:30 you're going to throw it all away over a colt.
00:47:33 It is what it is, old man.
00:47:37 I expect you on the main field in 20 minutes.
00:47:41 [sniffles]
00:47:43 [sniffles]
00:47:45 [sniffles]
00:47:47 Excuse me. Okay, big guy, make some room.
00:47:51 Okay, if you could just move your giant butt two inches to the--
00:47:54 [grunts]
00:47:55 All right, that's it. I am done playing.
00:47:59 [music]
00:48:09 Ooh, look at that. Nice.
00:48:12 [music]
00:48:19 Yo, Malik!
00:48:20 Hmm?
00:48:21 You forgot the milk.
00:48:22 Ugh.
00:48:24 [music]
00:48:31 Well, well, well. Look at you, my lovelies.
00:48:35 Gee, I wonder what that sign says.
00:48:38 Meh, how important could it be?
00:48:41 Reading is overrated.
00:48:45 He's sick?
00:48:46 Uh, after everything we worked for?
00:48:48 No. No, no, no. No.
00:48:50 Ugh, he wouldn't get up for you either?
00:48:54 This can't be happening.
00:48:56 Everything okay, gentlemen?
00:48:58 Great. I can see the headline now.
00:49:00 Number one seed has the yips.
00:49:02 Reindeer trainer/failed baseball star loses everything.
00:49:05 Perfect!
00:49:06 That's actually a little wordy.
00:49:08 [groans]
00:49:09 What am I gonna do?
00:49:11 You're right. He's fine. It's gonna be totally fine. It's all fine.
00:49:15 Sure sounds like it.
00:49:16 I need some air.
00:49:19 Your boys wound a little tight, huh?
00:49:22 You have no idea.
00:49:24 [grunting]
00:49:26 Hairpin turn!
00:49:28 [grunting]
00:49:30 [music]
00:49:48 [grunting]
00:49:53 Candy canes!
00:49:56 Keep your knees in line with your hooves.
00:49:59 Are you talking to me?
00:50:01 You see anybody else wrecking the field with their sloppy technique?
00:50:04 I'm not that bad.
00:50:07 Okay. Fine. Maybe I am.
00:50:09 Knees, hooves. Try it.
00:50:12 [grunting]
00:50:21 Try it again.
00:50:23 [music]
00:50:34 Ha ha! He's back!
00:50:37 [clears throat]
00:50:39 Give it up, Grandpa! DJ's done.
00:50:48 Rest assured your grandfather would never have tolerated this kind of behavior.
00:50:53 Get up, Junior.
00:50:55 I can't, Dad. I'm sick.
00:50:58 Nonsense. You're afraid of flying.
00:51:01 Uh-uh. DJ's not afraid of flying.
00:51:04 DJ's not afraid of anything!
00:51:07 [grunting]
00:51:08 Okay. Fine.
00:51:10 But it's not like I chose to be a wuss.
00:51:12 What do you want me to do?
00:51:14 The only way to overcome any fear is to face it head on.
00:51:18 I know you'd say that.
00:51:20 I've heard an extra cookie or two never hurt either.
00:51:23 Huh? An extra cookie?
00:51:26 Isn't that kind of cheating?
00:51:28 I warned you about embarrassing me, Junior.
00:51:31 Okay, Dad. Anything you say.
00:51:35 [music]
00:51:40 [cheering]
00:51:50 Now, did everyone get one of Mrs. Claus's cookies?
00:51:54 Apparently, we had a mix-up in this morning's count.
00:51:58 [doorbell]
00:51:59 [cheering]
00:52:01 Rookies.
00:52:03 All right. Hold on to your butts, folks.
00:52:06 These puppies don't take long to kick in.
00:52:09 [cheering]
00:52:17 Hello?
00:52:20 Huh?
00:52:22 [water dripping]
00:52:26 Ignacio? What are you doing here?
00:52:29 And why are you so small?
00:52:33 What the what?
00:52:37 [screaming]
00:52:38 Someone's having a cookie!
00:52:41 Shouldn't have eaten those cookies!
00:52:45 [music]
00:53:00 [gasping]
00:53:04 I am ashamed.
00:53:14 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:53:16 There's got to be another way out of here.
00:53:19 Ah-ha!
00:53:33 Wait, what?
00:53:37 DJ?
00:53:39 Is this actually happening?
00:53:43 DJ Monkey Lives!
00:53:47 DJ's a cheat!
00:53:54 Yes, I did it! Finally!
00:53:56 You're up, DJ.
00:53:58 DJ? Last call for DJ.
00:54:02 I can't believe this. He choked. He totally choked.
00:54:06 This is a disaster.
00:54:07 Well, looks like we have our first disqualification, folks.
00:54:11 Hold up, hold up, hold up. DJ's right here.
00:54:15 Yeah!
00:54:17 [music]
00:54:21 [grunting]
00:54:24 [screaming]
00:54:26 Oh, no! I got on fire!
00:54:30 [music]
00:54:49 Yes! Yes!
00:54:56 You're up, Linsen.
00:54:59 Good luck trying to beat that.
00:55:02 Come on, Linsen. You can do it.
00:55:07 Okay. Big dreamers dream big. Big dreamers dream big.
00:55:12 [music]
00:55:20 Elliot, you won't believe what I--
00:55:29 That guy's got some move.
00:55:51 Thank you. Thank you so much.
00:55:55 No one puts DJ in the corner.
00:55:58 Nice work, Glitzen.
00:56:00 Thanks, Sasha. I appreciate that.
00:56:02 Yeah, well, enjoy it while you can.
00:56:04 I plan on eviscerating you tomorrow.
00:56:07 Um, what happened to your antlers? They're all wonky.
00:56:14 [screaming]
00:56:17 Hold up, hold up. What's she doing here?
00:56:23 I knew there was something off about that little dude.
00:56:27 Check this out, bro. You two fraudsters have been caught.
00:56:31 You're one to talk. You're a cheater.
00:56:33 Didn't you just call me?
00:56:35 You heard me. You're a cheater!
00:56:38 [screaming]
00:56:42 Look at that. I'm down. I'm finally--
00:56:45 Oh, come on.
00:56:47 Hazel, what's going on?
00:56:51 What is that hideous creature?
00:56:54 Oh, man.
00:56:57 Elliot, is that you?
00:56:59 Glitzen?
00:57:01 What's the deal, Vedic?
00:57:03 You trying to pull one over on us?
00:57:05 Did you know about this, Walter?
00:57:07 Me? Of course not.
00:57:09 Well, this is certainly a first.
00:57:11 A pony at the North Pole Triumph.
00:57:14 He's a miniature horse.
00:57:16 And he's the least of your problems.
00:57:18 What's that supposed to mean?
00:57:20 DJ is a cheater. I saw him.
00:57:22 He ate 2 extra cookies.
00:57:24 That is an outrageous, slanderous, and egregious falsehood.
00:57:27 DJ's never cheated a day in his life.
00:57:30 Then how come you're the only reindeer still in the air?
00:57:34 I think it's time DJ paid a visit to the medical tent.
00:57:37 Okay, fine.
00:57:39 DJ may have eaten an extra cookie or two.
00:57:43 But what's the big deal?
00:57:45 As long as you find someone to pull the sleigh,
00:57:47 what's it matter how they do it?
00:57:49 You're right. Why not let tiny horses pretend to be reindeer?
00:57:53 Or have reindeer ingest controlled substances?
00:57:57 Oh, here's a thought.
00:57:59 Rather than leaving presents for children,
00:58:01 Santa just burgles their homes instead.
00:58:04 We'll increase our bottom line
00:58:06 and let the old man unleash his inner criminal.
00:58:08 It's a win-win!
00:58:10 Santa's got an inner criminal?
00:58:12 Would one of you elves please tell us humans
00:58:14 what these animals are saying?
00:58:16 They're letting me down as usual.
00:58:18 Oh, sir!
00:58:20 What a surprise.
00:58:22 Tell me you've kept the mechanical sleighs
00:58:24 in good working order, Lemon Drop.
00:58:26 Of course, sir. Tip-top.
00:58:28 Why?
00:58:29 Because these tryouts are over!
00:58:32 Disqualifying everyone and canceling all further events.
00:58:35 Sir, if I may.
00:58:36 You may not!
00:58:38 I know how hard you've worked
00:58:40 to make these tryouts a success, old friend.
00:58:43 But this has been a long time coming.
00:58:46 I love all of my reindeer,
00:58:48 but I can no longer allow personal attachments
00:58:50 to blind me to the reality of what they've become.
00:58:53 Therefore, it is with heavy heart
00:58:55 that I have decided to end my association with reindeer...
00:58:59 forever.
00:59:01 We have to put the children of the world first.
00:59:07 You two ruin everything!
00:59:14 Centuries of tradition down the drain!
00:59:16 We've been working for this for years!
00:59:19 Years!
00:59:20 I'll survive it!
00:59:23 No one is more shocked by this than me.
00:59:27 However, Santa has made his decision,
00:59:30 and we must abide by his wishes.
00:59:32 Now, if you'll excuse me,
00:59:34 we have preparations to make.
00:59:37 Oh, and Merry Christmas.
00:59:40 You get this!
00:59:43 What am I supposed to tell my kids?
00:59:45 What kind of sicko pretends to be a reindeer?
00:59:48 Hang on!
00:59:53 Whew!
01:00:03 So, that did not go the way I thought it would.
01:00:07 Oh.
01:00:08 How did you expect things to go when you stole those cookies?
01:00:11 It's not like there was a sign on them saying not to...
01:00:14 Oh, reading.
01:00:16 Yeah.
01:00:17 Ugh! You ruined everything, Hazel!
01:00:19 Did you see the way the reindeer looked to me back there?
01:00:22 Elliot, reindeer are jerks!
01:00:24 They've always been jerks, and they always will be jerks.
01:00:26 Even Santa understands that.
01:00:28 Santa!
01:00:29 But they all hate me now!
01:00:31 Oh, who cares what they think?
01:00:33 Have you forgotten why we're here?
01:00:35 To save our friends.
01:00:36 As soon as we get home,
01:00:37 we'll round everyone up and hit the road.
01:00:40 At least we've got each other.
01:00:42 That's what counts, isn't it?
01:00:44 Isn't it, Elliot?
01:00:47 I don't know anything anymore.
01:00:51 I suppose you want a comment.
01:01:09 From the idiot coach who somehow missed the fact
01:01:11 that he had not one, but two cheating players on his roster?
01:01:15 Well, Newsflash, I got nothing for you.
01:01:18 I actually wanted to see how you were doing.
01:01:21 Guess I got my answer.
01:01:23 I'm sorry. I'm just...
01:01:25 You could always go back to baseball, you know.
01:01:27 There are ways to deal with the...
01:01:30 misplaced focus.
01:01:32 You were good.
01:01:33 Not good enough.
01:01:35 If it's important, you'll find a way.
01:01:38 If not...
01:01:39 You'll find an excuse.
01:01:41 Where have I heard that before?
01:01:43 It's time to face facts.
01:01:46 I failed at baseball,
01:01:47 and now I'm going to lose the training camp, too.
01:01:50 So you're giving up?
01:01:52 Just like that?
01:01:54 Good luck, Walter.
01:01:58 With whatever you decide to do.
01:02:01 [♪♪♪]
01:02:04 [SCREAMING]
01:02:12 [♪♪♪]
01:02:15 Elliot!
01:02:23 I've been looking all over for you.
01:02:25 Come on, it's time to go.
01:02:27 Coach, I'm so sorry.
01:02:30 I didn't mean--
01:02:31 Come on, now, get!
01:02:33 Thanks for getting back to me, Miss Ludzinka.
01:02:38 What did I just say?
01:02:40 I didn't mean you, Miss Ludzinka.
01:02:42 Listen, I just faxed you the signed bill of sale
01:02:45 so you can pick up the animals any time you like.
01:02:47 What?
01:02:48 Sure. Tonight works.
01:02:49 Tonight?
01:02:50 And I changed my mind about the reindeer.
01:02:53 You can have them, too.
01:02:55 [♪♪♪]
01:02:58 So this is how it all ends for me.
01:03:01 Abhorred in the Arctic, dehydrated in Duluth.
01:03:06 I wish I could figure out who gave Vijay the cookies.
01:03:11 You wouldn't happen to know the answer to that, would you, Sugarplum?
01:03:15 I sure do. A masked elf with a bad wrist tattoo.
01:03:18 [GOAT BLEATING]
01:03:20 Can't believe I'm about to say this,
01:03:22 but I really wish I could speak goat.
01:03:25 How about you? Want to do an interview?
01:03:31 Give my readers and elves perspective on the whole Santa quits the reindeer thing?
01:03:34 My boss has specifically forbidden us from talking to the press.
01:03:38 It'd be strictly off the record.
01:03:40 You don't get it.
01:03:41 Things are so tight around here,
01:03:43 I can't drop a chocolate kiss without Lemon Drop's permission.
01:03:46 You feel me?
01:03:47 Ew.
01:03:49 You mind.
01:03:50 Whatever. It's only food.
01:03:53 [GASPS]
01:03:58 The jaded monkey flies at midnight.
01:04:00 You don't say.
01:04:02 Come on, lady. It's time you learned to speak goat.
01:04:07 You do realize we're at the North Pole in the dead of winter, right?
01:04:14 [CLEARS THROAT]
01:04:15 Your point is?
01:04:17 Guys!
01:04:19 [HORSE GALLOPING]
01:04:21 Where's Hazel?
01:04:22 We assumed she was with you.
01:04:24 We have to find her. Right now.
01:04:26 You that anxious to get back to your sad little life, mini man?
01:04:30 I won't have a life to get back to if we don't get home before sundown.
01:04:33 None of us will.
01:04:35 What are you talking about?
01:04:36 I don't have time to explain.
01:04:38 Then I suggest you make time.
01:04:42 Green. Click the green. Click it.
01:04:45 It's green. The green one.
01:04:47 Unripe. Unripe the click. Unripe.
01:04:50 I'm clicking. I'm clicking.
01:04:52 Ugh. Have you ever even used a computer before?
01:04:55 Never used mainframe previous. Although that now?
01:04:59 Either this translation program sucks or you're completely insane.
01:05:03 Listen, lady. Goat is a complex language with multiple layers of subtext.
01:05:07 Actung, fräulein.
01:05:09 The complicated tongue of the goats displays many floors between the lines.
01:05:15 She's going to turn DJ into what?
01:05:17 She's a monster.
01:05:18 Goat? Okay. I can see that.
01:05:20 And a horse? Ugh. Sure.
01:05:23 But who'd eat a reindeer?
01:05:25 Scandinavians.
01:05:26 Scand-a-who now?
01:05:28 You know, Nordic countries. World's largest consumers of reindeer meat.
01:05:33 They say reindeer is healthier than fish.
01:05:35 Low in fat, high in protein, and apparently real, real tasty.
01:05:44 DJ don't feel so good.
01:05:46 Guys, focus! Where is Hazel most likely to be?
01:05:50 Don't worry. Reindeer's barely a step above the worm.
01:05:54 This'll be a piece of cake.
01:05:56 Hey there. What can I do you for?
01:06:00 Hey there. What can I do you for?
01:06:02 What did I tell you?
01:06:04 Let's just cut to the chase, my sun-kissed friend.
01:06:07 What's the deal with the sudden retirement?
01:06:13 That sounded important.
01:06:15 It wasn't sudden. I dreamed of owning a juice bar for years.
01:06:19 So it was all your idea then? Nobody ordered you to go?
01:06:23 Nobody like, say, Lemon Drop?
01:06:26 Ordered me? Lemon Drop? No way.
01:06:33 He's never been anything but 100% supportive.
01:06:36 Define supportive.
01:06:40 [music]
01:06:42 I can't find her anywhere.
01:07:00 Well, we'll have to leave her. It's every animal for themselves from here on in.
01:07:04 What is this, the Thunderdome? We're not leaving anyone.
01:07:07 [music]
01:07:09 Are we ready for the test run of the sleighs, Lemon Drop?
01:07:14 Just clearing the field, sir.
01:07:16 Is Rusty all ready to go?
01:07:18 He'll need a few minutes.
01:07:22 Even a state-of-the-art climate generator needs to warm up.
01:07:34 Are you sure about this, Nicky?
01:07:37 The reindeer have been such a big part of your life for so long.
01:07:40 The sleighs are the future, Karina. At least they're going to have to be.
01:07:44 I just have this nagging feeling we're missing something.
01:07:47 Oh, ho! Would you look at that!
01:07:50 [music]
01:08:01 Can I get you to any refreshments before we begin?
01:08:04 Maybe some tea? Cake, perhaps?
01:08:07 Why not some cookies, Lemon Drop?
01:08:09 You seem to be pretty good at giving those out.
01:08:12 Am I supposed to understand what you're talking about?
01:08:15 Can it, Al. We know everything.
01:08:17 Hazel, we have to go. The meat--
01:08:19 Shh! Not now, Elliot.
01:08:21 What is going on here?
01:08:23 Lemon Drop was the one who supplied DJ with the extra cookies.
01:08:27 Ah! That's absurd.
01:08:29 I was here, working my hands to the bone.
01:08:32 You may have used Jolene as your delivery girl,
01:08:35 but the cookies came from you.
01:08:37 Is this true, Lemon Drop?
01:08:39 That's not even the half of it.
01:08:41 Show 'em, Sugar Plum.
01:08:43 What are you doing, Hazel?
01:08:47 Oh, nothing much. Just, you know, saving Christmas.
01:08:50 Lemon Drop found me the real estate listing for my juice bar.
01:08:56 He loaned me the money for the down payment.
01:08:58 The little guy even helped me pack.
01:09:00 It's almost like he knew I wanted a juice bar before I did.
01:09:05 I mean, that was just weird.
01:09:07 The truth is, Lemon Drop orchestrated every reindeer retirement since 1953.
01:09:12 That's probably possible.
01:09:14 Cue the surveillance footage, Sugar Plum.
01:09:16 Surveillance footage?
01:09:18 You use the naughty or nice technology on us, too?
01:09:21 I want this. Of course I do. I just--
01:09:26 Thought you could put it off forever?
01:09:29 Honey, tick tock.
01:09:31 What? She was 503. Am I wrong?
01:09:35 But what about what Comet wants, man?
01:09:38 What about what Comet needs?
01:09:40 You need to take some time to figure out the answer
01:09:43 to the most important question of all, brother.
01:09:46 Who is Comet?
01:09:48 That includes nothing.
01:09:50 Passport, rubles, and a one-way ticket to Moscow.
01:09:54 Go get her, Tiger!
01:09:56 Wow, that was incredible.
01:09:58 Oh, wait till I show them the Prancer footage.
01:10:01 Please don't.
01:10:03 It's a super-secret foot race around the world.
01:10:06 First contestant to pose with a selfie from every capital city
01:10:09 and get 10 million likes wins!
01:10:12 Come on!
01:10:14 Prancer still hasn't come back.
01:10:16 Oh, for heaven's sakes, I was only trying to help you.
01:10:18 By tricking me into throwing away centuries of tradition?
01:10:22 I want you gone by the end of the day, Lemon Drop.
01:10:26 You too, Jolene.
01:10:28 Okay, you're firing me?
01:10:30 Go ahead.
01:10:32 You'll see. The reindeer will let you down again.
01:10:35 The sleighs are the only way to protect Christmas.
01:10:37 They're the answer to your problem, buddy.
01:10:39 When did bringing joy to the children of the world become a problem?
01:10:43 When their population reached almost a billion.
01:10:46 How can one man and 8 dim-witted reindeer possibly be expected to keep up?
01:10:51 We've managed so far.
01:10:53 Only because of me! Me!
01:10:56 I'm the one who manages logistics.
01:10:58 I'm the one who oversees production.
01:11:00 I'm the one who updates technology.
01:11:02 Me! The only reason you can pull off any of this is because of me!
01:11:08 Lemon Drop, what are you doing?
01:11:13 [♪♪♪]
01:11:16 Let's see how your precious reindeer hold up to this!
01:11:25 [laughing]
01:11:26 No!
01:11:28 [laughing]
01:11:31 Everybody take cover!
01:11:40 [explosion]
01:11:43 [screaming]
01:11:45 [laughing]
01:11:49 Nicholas, where are you going?
01:11:52 To turn off the machine!
01:11:55 -Corky! -Waiting!
01:11:58 [screaming]
01:12:05 [screaming]
01:12:12 Hazel!
01:12:14 [screaming]
01:12:16 What the crap?
01:12:26 Let go!
01:12:32 You're the boss.
01:12:34 What have you done?
01:12:39 Something I should have done a long time ago.
01:12:42 [laughing]
01:12:44 Hazel!
01:12:57 Don't worry, Hudson. We got this.
01:13:01 Sit tight, big man.
01:13:03 Somebody help me!
01:13:06 [♪♪♪]
01:13:09 No! No!
01:13:13 No!
01:13:15 [screaming]
01:13:17 Elvis is here!
01:13:21 [♪♪♪]
01:13:24 Have to save at least one!
01:13:30 Ah, sugar cutter.
01:13:36 No!
01:13:38 [screaming]
01:13:40 Come on, Sasha!
01:13:44 Help me!
01:13:50 Do I look like I can be of assistance to you at this moment?
01:13:55 Hazel!
01:14:00 [screaming]
01:14:03 [grunting]
01:14:05 We gotta go!
01:14:07 What are you doing? Let me go!
01:14:10 I have to save her!
01:14:12 It's too late!
01:14:14 We have to get everyone out of there! Now!
01:14:21 [♪♪♪]
01:14:25 [♪♪♪]
01:14:28 It's got an emergency shutdown!
01:14:41 Just like old!
01:14:43 Mini Man! Crazy!
01:14:46 [♪♪♪]
01:14:50 [explosion]
01:14:52 Glimpsum?
01:15:07 Elliot!
01:15:14 You saved us!
01:15:16 Not all of us.
01:15:18 Oh, Mini Man.
01:15:20 What is that?
01:15:25 Is that...
01:15:29 Hazel?
01:15:33 She's heading straight for the pitcher!
01:15:36 Hold on, Hazel!
01:15:38 [screaming]
01:15:42 [grunting]
01:15:48 [panting]
01:15:50 Elliot! That was amazing!
01:15:53 I had no idea you could do that!
01:15:55 Seriously, that was incredible!
01:15:57 You ate that snowbank like it was breakfast.
01:16:01 Just a little trick I learned from my best friend.
01:16:03 What's on the menu tonight, Mount Kilimanjaro?
01:16:06 Wait a second. Tonight?
01:16:08 Oh, man! Tonight! We have to go!
01:16:11 The meat lady comes tonight!
01:16:13 Meat lady? Wait, what?
01:16:16 What's this about a meat lady?
01:16:18 [grumbling]
01:16:20 Next place better have Wi-Fi.
01:16:31 That's right, Goats. Nice and easy.
01:16:34 [grumbling]
01:16:38 Shutdown!
01:16:46 [grunting]
01:16:48 I'm scared, Peanut Butter.
01:16:56 Now, now, child.
01:16:58 [laughing]
01:17:00 Oh!
01:17:03 I like you, little heart.
01:17:07 I like you very much.
01:17:10 [laughing]
01:17:13 She's ignoring my calls.
01:17:15 I was an idiot to ever trust that woman.
01:17:18 You can't give up on us now, Coach.
01:17:24 If it's important, you'll find a way.
01:17:39 What did you just say, Walter?
01:17:42 If it's important, you'll find a way.
01:17:44 If not, you'll find an excuse.
01:17:46 Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm done with excuses.
01:17:49 If that meat lady thinks she can hurt my animals,
01:17:52 she's got another thing coming.
01:17:54 Come on, guys, let's go save our petting zoo!
01:17:57 Yeah, Coach! Yeah!
01:17:59 Let's kick some meat lady butts!
01:18:01 Hey, um, would you mind if I tagged along?
01:18:05 Sounds like there might be one heck of a story here.
01:18:07 Hop on in.
01:18:09 Dang it!
01:18:17 Not now!
01:18:19 Wait! I know what to do!
01:18:21 You wouldn't mind giving DJ and me some cookies, would you, Santa?
01:18:25 The two of us are a lot more reliable than any sleigh.
01:18:28 Well, of course, Elliot, but I'd rather hope you'd stay.
01:18:31 Huh?
01:18:33 We have a competition to finish.
01:18:35 You still want me to compete?
01:18:37 I may have been a little hasty in my decision before, but...
01:18:41 All right, I was definitely hasty.
01:18:44 I understand why you did what you did.
01:18:46 Me too, Santa?
01:18:48 No, DJ, not you.
01:18:50 But you're welcome to try out next time.
01:18:52 Everybody deserves a second chance.
01:18:55 So, Elliot, what do you say?
01:18:59 Don't worry, Mini Man, I'll take care of everything.
01:19:02 Don't worry, Mini Man, I'll take care of everything back home.
01:19:05 You stay and compete. You earned it.
01:19:08 This is your chance, Elliot. This is it.
01:19:12 Thanks, Santa, but my friends are more important.
01:19:19 Besides, Sasha would have beaten me anyways.
01:19:23 ♪
01:19:33 No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:19:47 ♪
01:19:57 Turning my animals into lunch meat wasn't part of the deal.
01:20:02 This is fraud. I'm calling the sheriff.
01:20:05 I've got a contact at the state trooper's office.
01:20:08 I never should have left.
01:20:15 I never should have stayed to help my friends.
01:20:18 What was that?
01:20:24 Blueberry!
01:20:26 (laughing)
01:20:32 Make it stop!
01:20:34 Creepy goat eyes bore hole in my soul.
01:20:37 Make it stop!
01:20:39 What is even happening?
01:20:41 They've gone full goat.
01:20:43 (laughing)
01:20:45 Go again with Santa, the whole goat.
01:20:49 Wait, where's--
01:20:51 Laddie!
01:20:52 Peanut butter?
01:20:54 What are you doing here, boy?
01:20:56 I thought for sure you'd be working for Santa by now.
01:20:59 And I thought you'd be a horse burger.
01:21:01 Hold your tongue. A miniature horse is nobody's burger.
01:21:05 I'm glad you're back.
01:21:07 The place hasn't been the same without you and your glove and hoof, Nini.
01:21:11 So, tell me all about your North Pole adventure.
01:21:15 (crying)
01:21:17 No more of the goat!
01:21:19 I go anywhere you like. Just no more goat!
01:21:22 Can you believe she's wanted in three states?
01:21:25 Who knows how many animals you saved tonight.
01:21:28 Ho, ho, ho!
01:21:30 You did it, Sasha! You won!
01:21:40 I didn't expect to see you tonight, Santa.
01:21:43 Yes, well, it seems we still have an opening on the team.
01:21:48 I don't get what you mean.
01:21:50 Dad? What's going on?
01:21:54 It appears you weren't the only one
01:21:57 Lemondrop had been supplying extra cookies to, DJ.
01:22:01 What?
01:22:02 The thing is, Junior,
01:22:04 a fear of flying actually runs in the family.
01:22:09 My father admitted everything after you left.
01:22:12 I'm sorry, son.
01:22:14 For everything, I hoped you couldn't forgive me.
01:22:18 Uh, you want to check out my stall?
01:22:26 It's got a pretty good view.
01:22:29 So, Elliot.
01:22:35 Oh, laddie, this is it.
01:22:37 Oh, my gosh, it's really happening.
01:22:39 Oh, I'm getting all teary-eyed.
01:22:41 Zip it, both of you. You're ruining his big moment.
01:22:44 Shh, guys.
01:22:46 You were saying, Santa?
01:22:49 My team and I were hoping you were still interested in the position.
01:22:53 Really?
01:22:54 Really.
01:22:55 I don't know. I've got a lot of responsibilities here.
01:22:59 These goats won't herd themselves.
01:23:02 Laddie, are you having a go?
01:23:05 Merry Christmas to all!
01:23:08 And to all a good night.
01:23:15 Bye, Elliot.
01:23:16 Have a great flight.
01:23:18 Goodbye, laddie.
01:23:21 Now that's a story.
01:23:24 Everybody loves a good story.
01:23:27 I'm glad you're all here.
01:23:29 I'm glad you're all here.
01:23:31 Now that's a story.
01:23:34 Everybody loves an underdog.
01:23:36 Or horse, I guess in this case.
01:23:38 I mean it. People are going to really respond to this.
01:23:41 You might want to think about sprucing this place up.
01:23:44 Oh, yeah?
01:23:45 I have a feeling that after this story gets out,
01:23:48 the witty bitty is going to get pretty popular.
01:23:52 [music]
01:23:56 [music]
01:24:00 [music]
01:24:03 [music]
01:24:07 [music]
01:24:11 [music]
01:24:15 [music]
01:24:19 [music]
01:24:23 [music]
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