Frasier - Christmas Nightmare - It's Christmas time and Marty (John Mahoney) is in the holiday spirit, going all out to adorn Frasier's (Kelsey Grammer) apartment with festive decorations, much to his and Niles' (David Hyde Pierce) chagrin. From the full episode "Frasier Grinch."
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00:00 (doorbell rings)
00:02 - Oh.
00:03 (audience laughs)
00:04 Hi, Dad.
00:05 I'm gonna put this wreath up here.
00:10 - What's the matter with Rudolph?
00:12 - Well, Dad, you know, I just think
00:13 that Christmas decorations should be
00:15 understated and tasteful.
00:16 - Boy, I can't even have one thing that I want.
00:19 (audience laughs)
00:20 - Dad, I'm sorry, but if I gave you one thing,
00:22 God knows where it might lead.
00:24 (door opens)
00:27 (door closes)
00:30 (audience laughs)
00:33 - Oh, God.
00:39 My childhood Christmas is all over again.
00:41 (audience laughs)
00:43 Only now Mom isn't here to say, "Shut up,
00:44 you'll hurt his feelings."
00:46 (audience laughs)
00:47 Oh, don't be such a grinch.
00:48 - Ho, ho, ho.
00:51 - It works when you step on the mat.
00:55 - Ho, ho, ho.
00:57 - It can say, "Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas
00:59 or Happy Holidays."
01:00 - Well, I hope it can say, "Geronimo,"
01:01 'cause I'm gonna throw him off the balcony.
01:03 (audience laughs)
01:05 - Well, I'm off to Joe's parents' house.
01:08 - So you've been busy in the kitchen.
01:09 - Yeah, I'm bringing Grammy Moon's famous plum dough.
01:13 It's a still flour pudding boiled in a cloth bag.
01:16 - Yeah.
01:17 - Who gets to lick the bag?
01:19 (audience laughs)
01:20 - You see, Grammy Moon had a secret ingredient.
01:23 She'd soak it for hours in rum,
01:25 then ignite it in a blinding flash.
01:27 As soon as she came out of the kitchen with no eyebrows,
01:30 we knew dessert was ready.
01:32 (audience laughs)
01:33 You know, to this day,
01:35 the smell of burning hair puts me in the holiday spirit.
01:37 (audience laughs)
01:39 Bye, Merry Christmas.
01:41 - Merry Christmas.
01:41 - You know, someone's gonna have to go back down
01:44 to the storeroom.
01:45 There's still something missing.
01:47 - You must be kidding, Dad.
01:48 My God, this place couldn't look any more ludicrous.
01:50 (bells jingling)
01:51 (audience laughs)
01:54 (audience laughs)
01:56 (doorbell rings)
02:00 - Once I saw how those white hairs on his chin
02:02 looked like a beard,
02:03 the rest of the idea just fell into place.
02:05 (audience laughs)
02:08 - Niles, hello, Frazier.
02:11 (audience laughs)
02:16 I know, I know, shut up, it'll hurt his feelings.
02:17 (audience laughs)
02:20 - So, Niles, did you have a discussion with Marisol?
02:23 - No, but I had an epiphany.
02:25 (audience laughs)
02:26 I realized cutting off my funds is Marisol's way
02:29 of saying I love you.
02:30 (audience laughs)
02:32 She always uses money to get what she wants.
02:34 Ergo, this is proof she wants me back.
02:37 What do you think?
02:38 - Ho, ho, ho.
02:40 (audience laughs)
02:43 - I think Santa said it all for us.
02:45 (audience laughs)
02:47 (audience laughs)
02:50 - Dad, you have to get out more.
02:56 (audience laughs)