Robert Randolph is an American musician, a master of the pedal steel guitar, greatly influenced by Stevie Ray Vaughan. T | dHNfcmo1Y2RCblM1U0E
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00:00 Dude, check it! I figured out how we can get back into heaven!
00:04 Here, this is the Earth, and the rest of the room is all of outer space!
00:07 Okay, I don't get it.
00:09 Focus!
00:10 So, let's say we get this big-ass pole like it's really f***ing long, right?
00:14 Then we stick that s*** onto the Earth like this, see?
00:18 This is you. Now pay attention.
00:21 God damn it, what is that pole?
00:23 And you start walking up it like anyone would do and are like, "Where the s*** does it go?"
00:27 So you just keep going higher and higher until... Guess what?
00:30 Come on! You're not guessing!
00:32 Give me something to work with!
00:34 Anytime, Stockton!
00:36 Don't be a b***h! If you keep on climbing higher, where the hell do you go?
00:40 The top of the pole.
00:41 Jesus! Up here is space, get it? It's the universe! The room is the whole cosmos!
00:45 All we have to do is stick a pole in the ground and crawl up to space!
00:47 How awesome is that? It seems so simple now that I've said it out loud, don't you think?
00:51 I think you're ignoring things like physics and, you know, oxygen.
00:54 But yeah, I see what you're saying.
00:56 Now why would we want to do that again?
00:58 Quit acting like an idiot! You're supposed to be the smart one!
01:01 Stockton, if we make a log in a pole, eventually we'll be able to crawl all the way back up to heaven!
01:05 Why the hell do you want to go back to heaven so bad? Can I put the earth down now?
01:09 So what are you saying? Do you not want to go back?
01:12 Well, there's a lot of really good processed sugar down here and that s*** is cheap.
01:15 Plus, I mean, you seem to think the guys here are perfectly f***able, so it's whatever.
01:19 To be honest, recently the dudes I've come across haven't made me come much at all.
01:23 Take that c*** sucker from the club last night, right?
01:25 What a feltspurger, man.
01:27 And he disguised his douchebaggery by being hot as f***.
01:30 God, I hate that.
01:32 He was a finger pointer and he'd say s*** like, "Welcome to the gun show!"
01:35 And I was like, "Dude, f*** off, you leg humper. I'm a goddamn lady."
01:38 But he was just like, "I've got the biggest moose knuckle in the world! Don't you wanna have sex with me?"
01:42 Are you sure he didn't have a mental thing going on? Because that is so your type.
01:45 Which is fine if they're nice, but I don't like assburgers with extra ass.
01:49 God, Pindy, you are so racist.
01:50 Oh, and while we were doing it, he told me that. Get this. I was better than his mom.
01:54 What kind of f***ing s*** is that?
01:56 So after all that, you still diddled him?
01:58 Well, yeah. Why would I not?
02:00 Fly away!
02:04 Huh?