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00:00 Hey I got a question for you. Have you ever had trouble forgiving you? Are there
00:05 some things in your past that you could go back and erase and rewrite if you
00:08 could? Well you can't, but there is something you can do and I want to show
00:13 you how to do that in this message. It's called "It's Above Me Now." I want you to
00:17 sit down. I want you to be in a place where you're undistracted because I believe
00:20 God is about to speak to you through this message. Here's the one thing I
00:25 always ask you for, I only ask you for one thing, and that is if this message
00:29 blesses you, just send it to somebody else. That's it. I want to help as many
00:33 people as possible and I can't do that without your help. Thank you so much. Let
00:37 me know in the comments if this message blesses you and encourages me to hear
00:42 how God's encouraging you through this ministry. Take care. And we're excited
00:46 about that. So man let's keep that in mind. Alright so I want to get right to
00:53 work. There is, we're in a series called "God
00:56 Didn't Say That" and there's a message I want to share today coming from the book
01:00 of Philippians chapter number 3 beginning at verse number 10. I think
01:05 y'all had an extra hour today so I know these A-mans, they're about to be
01:10 coming in hot. I mean it's just y'all ready right? Okay. So Philippians chapter
01:16 3 verse 10, Paul says this, "I want to know Christ, yes to know the power of his
01:20 resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his
01:25 death and so somehow attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that
01:30 have already attained this or have already arrived at my goal but I press
01:36 on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Brothers and
01:42 sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it but one thing I do,
01:49 forgetting what is behind, straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward
01:56 the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
02:02 I want to stop the reading of scripture there and talk from this subject in our
02:06 time together. It's above me now. Clap your hands if you're ready for God's
02:12 word. It's above me now. As we leap into this lesson on today, I want to lift up a
02:21 quote that I think warrants repeating and warrants being reflected upon and
02:26 the quote is simply this, "Great men and women are only born for the time they
02:34 are needed the most." Great men and women are only born for the time they are
02:41 needed the most. In other words, if God is a God of providence, pro video, a God
02:46 that sees before, then it means this, that my birth is not accidental. Come on. That
02:54 I am not the consequence of some cosmic coincidence. I'm not the result of some
02:59 relational accident. I'm not the fruit of some fling that even if my parents
03:05 didn't plan my arrival, God did and that God orchestrated and arranged that I
03:11 would be placed on this planet for such a time as this. So I exist in purpose. I
03:17 exist on purpose. I exist by purpose. But if great men and women are only born for
03:25 the time that they're needed the most, it means then that not only is my birth
03:30 itself intentional, but the timing of my birth is intentional also. In other words,
03:36 it's not just important that I was born, but God knew when I needed to be born. He
03:43 knew the period in human history I needed to be born in. I remember in the
03:49 beginning stages of the pandemic, I was having a conversation with a group of
03:53 pastors that I was mentoring and we were trying to figure out how to
03:56 navigate an unprecedented season and one of the revelations I had personally, I
04:01 shared with them communally and shared with them I was born for this. That if
04:08 God wanted me to be in spiritual leadership at another point in human
04:12 history, he would arrange for me to be in spiritual leadership before this or
04:17 after this. But the fact that this has happened on my watch meant that God
04:22 himself knew that I had something on the inside of me that would aid and assist
04:28 us in navigating this season. And I don't know who this is for at the 1230 service,
04:34 but I want you to know that such is the case for you, that God knows the era and
04:41 the age you needed to be born in, so if you facing it, you can handle it. Because
04:47 if you couldn't handle it, he would have dropped you at a different point in
04:50 human history. Are y'all hearing what I'm saying? Great men and women are only born
04:58 for the time that they needed most. So it means we shouldn't then loathe our era,
05:02 we shouldn't loathe our age, we should love our era. We should love our age.
05:09 Because God knew that there was something, come on church, that the era I
05:14 was born in needed to deposit in me so that I could be who God's called me to
05:20 be. Because different eras shape people in different ways. See, some of you grew up
05:25 in an era where the era taught you manners.
05:30 Okay, maybe that's the 1030 and 845. Come on, I said it taught you manners. And
05:36 manners aren't manners. Manners are relational intelligence. Manners are a
05:42 revelation that your greatest blessings don't walk into your life, don't roll in
05:46 your life on four wheels. They walk in your life on two legs. And so when you
05:50 are mismanaging people, you might be messing up your blessing. Come on. This is
05:55 why people need to be conscious and careful about how they treat you. Because
06:00 they don't know what you can do and they don't know who you know. And some people
06:05 are mismanaging you now because they don't understand the treasure that's in
06:09 your earthen vessel. But God's got a way that's mighty sweet and he will have
06:14 people spinning the block and having to come back like Joseph Brothers did and
06:19 say I mistreated you in a previous season but I need you in this one. So the
06:28 eras and the areas shape us in ways. People laugh at the fact that I grew up
06:35 and killed Michael Mississippi. God knew there was something about the area that
06:41 I needed to be in that shaped me in ways that prepared me for. Are y'all hearing
06:47 what I'm saying? So sometimes we are complaining about something that was
06:51 actually an asset in our life. Some of the very things that might have agitated
06:56 me about kill Michael Mississippi were things that God used as an asset to
07:01 shape me into who he wanted me to be. I love my era. So I grew up in the 80s and
07:10 the 90s. I know this is 1230 so most of y'all didn't but I grew up in the 80s
07:17 and the 90s. I grew up in an era where if you were bored and you told your mama you
07:22 were bored, your mama said go outside. What? And do what? Go outside. Just go
07:30 outside. Yeah I grew up in an era where you actually had to go outside and interact
07:43 physically with your friends. Like we had to look at each other. We could touch
07:52 each other. I mean that's just. Listen I grew up in an era that I love. I love my
07:59 era. I love the TV shows of my era. I love Family Matters, Living Single,
08:11 Moesha, Hanging with Mr. Cooper, Sister Sister, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. No no
08:22 no no no. Some of you are like I watched that. No you watching 2.0. That's not the
08:27 original. The one you watching, Jeffrey got way too much swag. The real Jeffrey
08:34 don't have that much swag.
08:37 I grew up watching You Go Girl, You Go Gina, Martin. I love my era. I love the
08:54 candy of my era. Y'all don't know I had sugar sugar candy. Hmm I'm talking about
09:01 y'all don't know anything about Red Hots, Lemonheads, Now Laters. See if you put an
09:11 and on it you don't know what you're talking about. Now and Laters. No Now
09:15 Laters. I know y'all don't remember this. Chico Stix.
09:29 Sugar Babies. Sugar Daddy. Pause. Pause. Pause. Pause. Not that kind. Pause. Watch this.
09:43 This is for somebody that had a grandmama in church. Worthers Original.
09:53 Hey and what about the candy jewelry? The candy necklace? The candy bracelet? And
10:04 you were really balling if you had a ring pop. It took you eight hours to
10:09 finish that ring pop. I love my era. I love the music of my era. Come on. I love
10:25 that smooth music. That baby face. That Brian McKnight. That Luther Vandross.
10:35 That Drew Hill. Jagged Edge. Mint Condition. 112. Boys to Men. Y'all not
10:47 ready. High five. H-Town Boys. Blackstreet. Come on. Then I went on the other side a
10:56 little bit too. I love that smooth but I'm just keeping it real. I grew up I
11:01 went on the other side a little bit too. A little bit of Onyx. A little bit of Wu-Tang
11:06 Clan. A little bit of Naughty by Nature. A little bit of Nas. A little bit of Notorious
11:13 B.I.G. Let me go down south. A little bit of Outkast. Let me go to the N.O. The Hot
11:19 Boys. Juvenile. Let me go to the Dirty Dirty. Y'all not ready for this. 8 Ball
11:25 and MJG. Y'all.
11:31 Alright, let me bring it back. SWV, Escape, TLC. Come on. I love my era.
11:53 And I even love the books of my era. There were all sorts of books but my
11:59 favorite type of books were comic books. And comic books were these it was it was
12:06 it was written they were literary pieces that told stories.
12:19 Whoo. So it's illustrated storytelling that combined pictures and text. So it
12:30 was like a movie in magazine form. And what many people don't know is that
12:38 there are certain characters that one generation got introduced to on a movie
12:42 screen. That my generation got introduced to in a comic book. Iron Man didn't
12:49 start off on the movie screen. Iron Man started off as a comic book. Fantastic
12:55 Four, comic book. Black Panther, comic book. Wonder Woman, comic book. Incredible
13:01 Hulk, comic book. Spider-Man, comic book. Batman, comic book. My favorite, Wolverine.
13:10 Comic book. And as I was reflecting on my era preparing for this preaching
13:16 presentation, I realized something. That we have something in common with these
13:22 superheroes we often admire. That we don't have superpowers but God's given
13:31 us power that helps us do super things.
13:36 Did you hear what I just said? Yeah. They had powers that helped them
13:41 accomplish their purpose. And God's given us power that helps us accomplish ours.
13:46 Come on. They had gifts that helped them accomplish their assignment. And God's
13:54 given us gifts that help us accomplish ours. Am I making sense here? He's given
14:00 us spiritual gifts. Charismata, pneumaticos. When I talk about these gifts,
14:08 family, prayer is a spiritual superpower. Praise. Oh, I got to teach on that.
14:15 I said I got to teach on that. Because we say when praises go up, blessings come
14:21 down. God didn't say that. The Bible says when praises go up, the blesser comes
14:30 down. That when you praise, you don't get gifts, you get God. He says if you'll
14:38 praise me, I'll show up. I will dwell. Come on, Psalms 122. I will dwell in the
14:45 praises of my people. Your praise is the bat signal. They missed it. Your praise is
14:54 the way you send notice to God. I need you to come by here and tabernacle here.
15:01 Prayer is a superpower. Praise is a superpower. Fasting is a superpower.
15:06 Prophecy is a superpower. Discernment, spidey senses, that's a superpower. Word
15:10 of knowledge is a superpower. We've been giving superpowers, but one of the most
15:16 powerful superpowers that I want to lift up today that everyone in this room has
15:20 is similar to the superpower Wolverine had. And that is you and I have the
15:26 ability to facilitate our own healing.
15:33 What, PD? Yep, you and I have been given the power to facilitate our own healing.
15:42 Pastor, when did he give us that power? Is that what the gift of healing is? No, no,
15:46 no, no. That spiritual gift is for other people. It's not for you. Well, when did
15:51 God give me the ability to facilitate my own healing? When he gave us the capacity
15:57 to exercise forgiveness. Yeah, the 845 and 1030, they responded the same way.
16:06 When I said he gave us, come on church, he gave us the ability to facilitate our
16:13 own healing when he gave us a superpower called forgiveness. And what the enemy
16:19 doesn't want us to do is to get a revelation on how to use this superpower.
16:24 He wants to present this superpower as some sort of weakness and capitulation
16:30 and cooperation with someone abusing, misusing, and exploiting you. Not
16:37 realizing that this is a superpower. When you know how to use it right, it insulates
16:42 you from the injuries being perpetuated on you by imperfect people. Come on. This
16:48 superpower is the way you fight against the enemy of bitterness and resentment
16:54 and cynicism and jadedness and hard-heartedness and emotional up-and-downness.
17:00 Come on. The absence of forgiveness leads to the presence of emotional
17:05 torture. You do not forgive as a sign of weakness. You forgive as a sign of
17:11 strength. You do not forgive because you like the person that hurt you. You forgive
17:17 because you love yourself and you refuse to stay a victim of somebody else's
17:23 selfishness. God gives us this superpower because he gives nothing that he
17:33 intends for us to waste. He gives us this superpower because there's a reality
17:37 that many people fail to embrace. It's a reality that many people fail to accept.
17:43 So they're living life in this bubble of deception. They're moving with an
17:48 assumption that the world is the way they like it to be as opposed to a
17:54 revelation that the world is the way God says it is. So here's life. Can we
18:04 just talk life? I say can we just talk life? Here's the reality. The truth sets
18:09 us free from living a life of deception, being deceived.
18:15 See, you do know the nature of deception is you don't know you're deceived.
18:20 Y'all miss it. I said the nature of deception is we don't know we're
18:24 deceived. And so when we're living life thinking life works one way and it
18:29 doesn't work that way, we need truth to set us free from that deception so we
18:34 can move the way we need to move based on the way life is, not the way we think
18:40 it should be. So here's the way it is. We live in an imperfect world that's filled
18:51 with imperfect people who make imperfect decisions and as a result there will be
18:57 times where you and I are affected by the imperfect decisions that somebody
19:04 else makes. See, it got quiet. Here's real life. Sometimes we will suffer not
19:11 because of what you did. Sometimes we will suffer because of what someone else
19:20 did. Come on. We become the victims of someone else's imperfections. This is
19:30 life. We can dislike it. We can dismiss it, but we can't alter it or adjust it. This
19:36 is the truth about life and this truth sets us free from the false expectations
19:41 that this won't happen. And if I'm moving like this won't happen, I'm gonna be
19:48 unprepared for the inevitable. And to be unprepared for the inevitable is to be
19:53 naive. It's like seeing rain and refusing to take an umbrella because you're
20:00 denying it's rain, but your denial of the rain don't stop you from getting wet. I
20:07 wish I had a church that would talk back to me at this 1230 service. The reality
20:17 is this. The only way you can avoid injury based on other people's
20:24 imperfections is to cut off total proximity. Proximity means vulnerability.
20:33 Did you hear what I just said? Did you hear what I just said? You can get sick
20:38 not because you went out the house with a coat. Y'all missed it. You can get sick
20:44 because somebody else went outside of the house without wearing a coat or hat
20:48 and they caught something and because of your proximity. You suffer because of
20:53 what they did. Come on here. Proximity means vulnerability. When you
21:00 date somebody and you say it's me and you, you trust in their decisions. I don't
21:08 hear nobody. Come on. You are vulnerable to their decisions. When you say I do, you
21:21 are saying I am vulnerable to being impacted by your decisions. If you don't
21:28 want to be vulnerable, don't have friends, don't have a team, don't have children,
21:35 don't have a spouse because other people can make a decision that impacts your
21:40 life. Sometimes your schedule is at the mercy of what somebody you love do. I got
21:46 the... And so because God knows this, what God does is he gives you and I a
21:57 superpower that we need so that what happens for me ultimately is not
22:03 determined by what people do to me. He says I'm gonna teach you how to respond
22:08 to something that's inevitable. That at some point no matter how many boundaries
22:13 you set, no matter how many filters you try to put people through, no matter how
22:18 guarded you are in some seasons of life, God, this is what my pastor says, will
22:23 delete your discernment. Y'all not talking to me. God says no, you think I'm
22:29 gonna let you get every decision right? If I let you get every decision right,
22:34 where would you learn humility? Where would you learn how to depend on me?
22:38 Where would you learn patience? Where would you learn resilience? So sometimes
22:42 I'm not talking to you because I'm not talking to you because there's something
22:46 I want you to experience so that you realize the importance of depending on
22:51 me. I don't care how much you pray, there are some people you're gonna miss. I
22:57 don't care how attentive you are, there are some times you're not gonna see the
23:02 signs that you wish you should have seen. Sometimes you naive and other times God
23:08 delete your discernment. He says because I'm not trying to show you
23:14 something about them, I'm trying to show you something about people. Y'all missed
23:18 it. I'm not trying to show you something about them, I'm trying to show you
23:22 something about people. Y'all missed it. I want you to be surprised by them so
23:29 that you know it's possible to be surprised by people. I wanted you
23:37 to experience that so that you would know what people are capable of. Not for
23:44 you to be jaded and cynical but for you to be prepared to quickly utilize this
23:50 superpower when you deal with offense so that when it happens you don't let it
23:55 fester, so that when it happens you don't let it change you, so that when it
23:59 happens you don't delay and live with it for months and years and letting what
24:04 somebody did in the past control your future. I want you to learn how to
24:08 exercise this muscle so that when they hurt you, you release them, so that when
24:13 they hurt you, you release them. Not because you like them but because you
24:17 love yourself. Listen to me. You better get good at this. This is one thing you
24:30 better get good at. This is one thing you better get good at. Forgiveness. Now
24:41 here's the issue. Are y'all ready for this? I said y'all ready for this? All
24:45 right here's the issue. The issue is people don't often take this seriously
24:51 because they assume that just because they're not in pain they're healed. Oh no
25:03 no PD I'm over it. No no no you're not in pain. Don't that mean I'm over it? Nope it
25:09 just means it don't hurt no more. But it doesn't mean that that's still not
25:13 hurting you. Y'all missed it. Me not hurting anymore doesn't mean it's not
25:20 hurting me. Me not being in pain doesn't mean I'm healed. You see if my father if
25:24 my father you to shake my father's hand you'll see that one of my father's
25:28 pinkies is like this. It cannot extend all the way out. That's because years ago
25:32 he and I were playing basketball when I was a kid and I was trying to get a
25:36 rebound or something and I hit his hand and I heard it pop. I heard it break.
25:41 Now my dad old school my dad's like it'll be alright. So he didn't go to the
25:47 doctor or anything. So watch this it did watch this the bone did grow back together. It
25:54 just grew back crooked. Are y'all ready? I said are y'all ready? Are y'all ready?
26:02 Okay here it is. But he's not in pain.
26:10 But his fingers still look like this. He can use it but he doesn't have full use
26:20 of it. But it's been that way for so long he's become used to working around a
26:30 pinky that won't extend. Did y'all hear what I just said? So he's been his pinky
26:38 hadn't been working properly so long he don't remember what a properly working
26:43 pinky feel like. So now a properly a pinky a pinky that doesn't work properly
26:50 has become his normal even though it's abnormal. Are y'all okay? Do you believe I
26:58 love you? Do you believe I prepare like I love you? Okay so can I speak the truth
27:03 and love? Some of our hearts look like my daddy hand. We using it and we not hurt
27:16 anymore. But we don't have full use of it. It's not used to the maximum of its
27:24 potential. Because we assume because I'm no longer in pain I'm not hurt. So now
27:33 when it comes to connecting with people the way we need to connect for some is
27:39 difficult to really receive love and for others it's difficult to really give
27:44 love. But if you with somebody that's never been loved right they don't know
27:49 you withholding. And if withholding is your normal you don't know you
27:53 withholding either. Gosh!
28:00 If you think not fully giving your heart is normal
28:05 then what happens is you don't know that my heart look like the hand. Because it's
28:15 been so long since my hand worked right. I've learned how to get along
28:22 with a broken hand. And if I'm surrounded by people and they ring finger crooked
28:33 and the other's middle finger crooked and the other's thumb is crooked and the
28:39 other index finger is crooked. Because we all got crooked hands. Nobody's holding
28:43 me accountable to straighten it out. Y'all are not talking to me. So now all
28:50 our toxicity gets together and we are confirming toxic behavior. We're affirming
28:57 to come on. That's right don't trust. That's right don't give your that's
29:02 right. It's toxic confirmation.
29:19 Forgiveness is what keeps my heart from not looking like my daddy's hand. I don't
29:29 even have time to deal with that heart. Solomon says out of it flows the issues
29:33 of life. It shows up everywhere. I was at this business event yesterday and we
29:40 were talking I was being interviewed about leadership and I was talking about
29:43 emotional intelligence and leadership. Because if there's insecurity in your
29:47 heart it's gonna show up in your leadership. You're gonna want talent that
29:55 you can't that your heart can't handle. Y'all missed it. Your vision will require
29:59 talent that your insecurity can't stew it properly. You can't outrun it. Wherever
30:10 you go is gonna show up.
30:13 Am I making sense? So this this this is so important. Somebody say forgiveness.
30:24 Okay the only way to keep something that hurt you from continuing to hurt you is
30:31 forgiveness. What does forgiveness mean? It means to pardon and it means to
30:35 release one's debt. Are y'all ready for this? It means that I have a revelation
30:40 that you are unable to give me what you took. That what you took from me you're
30:49 unable to pay. If you steal money from me you stole more than my money and the
30:55 only thing you can give me back is money. You can't give me back my bad days when
31:00 I was looking for it. You can't give me back that the trauma from somebody I
31:05 trusted doing me like that. Come on now you can't give me back the inconvenience
31:10 that it caused me. The stuff I had to move around and rearrange. The only thing
31:15 you can give me back is money. An apology don't give me my time back. An
31:19 apology don't give me my job. Y'all not talking to me. So it means what you took
31:24 from me you can't pay. And no matter how I talk to you is still not in your
31:29 account. No matter how much I fuss it's still not in your account. No matter how
31:34 much I explain to you what you did to me it's still not in your account. So I have
31:38 to write it off as bad debt. And say what you owe me you are incapable of paying
31:45 and I can't hold my moving on till you get in a revelation of what you did to
31:51 me. This is why the most powerful form of forgiveness is seen with Jesus on the
31:56 cross and Stephen in Acts 7. It's called unilateral forgiveness. So transactional
32:02 forgiveness is one type. Unilateral forgiveness is another type.
32:05 Transactional. A transaction takes place. You ask for forgiveness I give it to you.
32:10 Unilateral forgiveness is I forgive you when you don't ask for it.
32:16 Let me tell you why that's important. Because most people that need your
32:22 forgiveness don't know it. Pastor yes they do. No they don't. Yes they do. They
32:29 know what they did. They don't know themselves though.
32:34 Jesus on the cross said father forgive them. For they know not what they do.
32:42 Forgive them. They narcissistic. They're hypersensitive. They're territorial.
32:47 Come on. They're egotistical and they are so blind to who they are they can't see
32:54 the error in what they did. So you can't hold your life hostage waiting on an
33:00 apology from somebody who don't even see they wrong.
33:05 Am I making sense here? Somebody say forgive. Come on say it again. Say forgive.
33:20 I need you to catch this now. I need you to catch this. There is no explanation
33:28 they can give you that can give you closure. You get closure when you decide.
33:34 And if you decide closure is tied to an explanation then that's when you'll get
33:40 it. But if you decide you're not waiting on one to have closure then that's when
33:45 you get it. Am I making sense? It's essential and important and it helps us
33:56 experience life as God intended. Forgiveness. I accept the blood of Jesus
34:03 as full and satisfactory payment for what you did to me. Forgiveness. Now
34:12 that's what God's say about forgiveness. Let me tell you what he didn't say.
34:25 God didn't say that reconciliation regarding the issue means reconnection
34:31 with the individual. Y'all missed that? Did you hear what I just said? Yeah
34:39 forgiveness doesn't mean reconnection. No God didn't say that. Come on here. And
34:45 and when many people when many people make decisions that lack relational
34:51 intelligence is because they've confused a person being remorseful with a person
34:57 being repentant. Did you hear what I just said? Yeah being remorseful means you
35:04 sorry. It doesn't mean you changed. So after you get through crying I want to
35:10 know did you change? After you send me an apology letter did you change? After you
35:16 show up at my house pull up on me at work singing me songs I need to know.
35:25 Did you change? Come on here because Dr. Henry Cloud says never go back if the
35:34 reason you left is still there.
35:41 The Bible says repentance has fruit. There needs to be fruit or evidence of
35:49 change that makes me feel comfortable enough to re-engage relationally. I got an
35:56 obligation to reconcile the issue. I do not have an obligation to reconnect
36:01 unless I see fruit that make me feel safe.
36:06 Where did you get that pastor? The Bible. In the book of chapter in the book of
36:14 Acts chapter number 13 you'll see the Bible says that the that God's church is
36:19 ministering to the Holy Spirit. That's what the text says ministering to him.
36:22 That's worship. That's praise. That's prayer and the Holy Spirit says to me
36:26 says to them set aside for me Paul and Barnabas for the work that I've assigned
36:30 to them. So Barnabas was a ministry partner with Paul and the Bible says
36:35 they did ministry together and they get ready to make a shift in their
36:38 missionary journey and they get ready to go to a place called Philippi and the
36:41 Bible says Barnabas wanted to take a dude with him named John Mark and Paul
36:46 say John Mark can't go with me. See y'all not ready. The Apostle Paul wrote two
36:52 thirds of the New Testament and he said he can't go with me. He's a man that God
36:58 used to work miracles with. Did you hear? I mean he worked miracles and he said
37:03 John Mark can't go because Paul and John Mark had a little beef and Paul had
37:11 forgiven John Mark so there was reconciliation with the issue but Paul
37:15 didn't feel the obligation for reconnection. Come on here.
37:19 Barnabas wanted John Mark so bad that Barnabas said well if you don't have
37:25 John Mark you don't have me. Paul say well y'all have each other.
37:32 Paul was not being petty. This was not some petty dispute. Paul and John Mark
37:42 had done ministry together and John Mark had deserted Paul in a previous season
37:47 and Paul knew he was getting ready to go into hostile territory and going in the
37:53 hostile territory he needed a ministry partner that had demonstrated some
37:58 stability. Did you hear what? So I love Paul's posture because he's looking at
38:05 Barnabas and saying I'm not gonna pick your friends. I'm not gonna tell you who
38:10 you can be friends with. So if you want to be friends with John Mark knowing
38:14 that me and John Mark have beef that's okay but because I'm not gonna pick your
38:19 friends don't you get mad when I pick mine. So I'm not gonna pick your friends
38:25 but I will choose my friends based on who they friends with. Let me go over
38:30 here. So I'm gonna let you choose John Mark. Don't be mad at me when I don't
38:37 choose you because of who you chose.
38:44 I'm not judging John Mark but if you able to connect with somebody like that
38:49 if you able to be close with somebody like that if you able to tolerate
38:54 somebody like that it makes me wonder is a little bit of that in you.
39:00 So maybe this is God's way of showing me what's in you before you do something to
39:10 me. So you and and so God brings somebody into Paul's life named Silas and Paul and
39:22 Silas end up in prison and instead of Silas abandoning Paul the Bible says end
39:30 at midnight. Paul and Silas prayed and sang praises unto God. You need a Silas
39:40 that won't leave you when you in prison. You need a Silas that say we're gonna
39:45 praise him in the prison together. I don't know who this is for but this is
39:51 your Silas season. God is sending you stable friends.
39:59 [Applause]
40:01 Send him a Silas and if he would have tried to force it with John Mark he
40:22 would have missed this Silas. Some of you are trying to force stuff with people
40:29 because of history.
40:32 And sometimes we're romanticizing relationships. I'm done Taria. We're
40:52 romanticizing relationships when if you step back and look at it objectively you
40:57 can kind of see this really haven't been good a long time but because we've had
41:01 so much history it's blinded me to what this really is. They've been using me for
41:07 a minute. Y'all let me let me go. I really been doing all to give it in
41:14 this relationship.
41:18 [Applause]
41:20 When you try to force it with John Mark you miss your Silas. And I feel this. Some
41:36 of y'all need to hear me. You in the seat. Silas represents stable. I'm in a Silas
41:43 season. That's the season life I'm in. I'm in a Silas season. I need stable. I'm
41:49 clear. I need clear people with me. There's nothing wrong with you not being
41:56 clear. It just means you're not right for me in this season.
42:01 So there was forgiveness. Paul didn't harbor unforgiveness but there wasn't
42:11 reconnection. And what did he do? He held a boundary. Barnabas tried to get him to
42:18 break that boundary. He wouldn't break it. Because Barnabas probably didn't want to
42:22 be in a position where you had to choose. And you don't always have to choose but
42:26 sometimes love make you choose. Sometimes love requires a choice. And don't be
42:34 afraid. Don't be apologetic when life put people in situations where they got to
42:38 make one.
42:45 You in a season where you need stable.
42:58 I'm speaking to somebody that grew up and you saying, "Pastor, I never had it." I hear
43:08 you. "I never had it in my own house. I never had it from my parents. I don't
43:17 even know what stable feel like. All I know is me. All my life has been me and
43:27 God." But you hit a season where you need Silas. Because sometimes life puts you in
43:36 prisons and it's better when you in there with a Silas. When life get hard,
43:49 you need a Silas.
43:53 But if you're jaded, Lord I don't have time, if you're jaded by what John Mark
44:02 did and you don't forgive, then you become suspicious of your Silas. So now
44:13 you're looking at Silas. You're looking sideways at Silas.
44:29 Forgiveness. Here's my pivot and we'll wrap up with this. It's one thing to know
44:38 how to exercise this muscle of forgiveness with others. Here's where I'm
44:43 landing the plane today. It's another to exercise this muscle of forgiveness with
44:48 you. And this is what I've learned with most people. This is not data-driven, it's
44:57 anecdotal. My experience as a pastor. People who are really serious about
45:01 their spiritual journey are much better at giving grace to other people. They're
45:08 way better at giving grace to other people than they are to themselves. You
45:16 must, if you're going to be all God's called you to be, you must not just use
45:20 this superpower of forgiveness with others. You got to learn how to use it
45:22 with you. And the Apostle Paul was one who struggled with that, but he teaches
45:31 us how to do it. See, when we read what he wrote, we need to be clear on
45:36 who wrote it. I want y'all to understand, this man wrote two-thirds of the New
45:39 Testament, but you need to know his past. This man helped kill Christians. Not
45:48 killed them metaphorically, literally. We call him Paul because his name got
45:55 changed from Saul. He was named after the first king of Israel, Saul, who was from
45:59 the tribe of Benjamin. Paul's from the tribe of Benjamin. A Hebrew circumcised
46:03 on the eighth day. A Pharisees, trained at the University of Tarsus. He
46:08 schooled on the rabbinical tutelage of Gamaliel, spoke between seven and ten
46:11 languages. When he went out in apostolic ministry, they sent Peter to the Jews.
46:15 They sent Paul to the Gentiles, because he could talk to anybody. And he goes to
46:19 Mars Hill, and he speaks to Stoics and Epicureans. He's quoting their own
46:23 philosophers. He's on Mars Hill. He sees statues that are dedicated to certain
46:28 gods, and there's one statue that says, "To the unknown God." And Paul stands and
46:33 debates with philosophers and aristocrats and says, "This is who this
46:38 unknown God is. He's the real God. That man used to kill Christians." And now he
46:47 becomes what? You don't think he carrying guilt? You don't think the devil keep
46:57 reminding him? How you gonna serve people?
47:06 Knowing what you did. Watch this. How dare you correct anybody else behavior? Knowing
47:16 what you did. How dare you call yourself Paul an apostle? Knowing what you used to
47:25 be. You don't think he carrying that? Now your history is not Paul history and my
47:34 history not Paul history, but we carrying something. We got some regret. Maybe it's
47:42 relational regret. Maybe it's financial regret. Maybe it's moral regret. I don't
47:45 know, but we carrying something. And I love Paul's honesty, and this is where I
47:55 want to be as a spiritual leader. So my favorite character obviously is Jesus in
47:59 the Bible, but my second is Paul because I want to be like him. He's far from
48:05 perfect, but when I read him, I get real. I don't get pretension. I get real. He
48:12 says to believers in Philippi, he say, "Hey, this is my spiritual goal. I
48:16 want to know Christ better. I want to know him in the power of his resurrection
48:22 and in the fellowship of his sufferings." He said, "This is my goal." But then he says
48:26 this, "But I have not attained it yet." That's real. He said, "This is where I'm
48:33 trying to go, but I'm not there." So he's got clarification. This is where I'm
48:39 trying to go. Then he's got evaluation. This is where I am though. And he's so
48:45 secure in his relationship with God. He knows that he doesn't have to arrive to
48:51 be loved. He knows that I'm perfectly loved where I am and I won't be loved
49:03 more when I arrive. So that love, this is where grace throws people off. This is
49:10 why one theologian calls it grace scandalous because some people think
49:13 that demotivates you from getting better, and it doesn't. It actually
49:18 motivates you to get better. It's the goodness of God that actually leads you
49:23 to repentance. Fear and condemnation only produce temporary change. The goodness of
49:29 the Lord actually causes me to change my mind and change my direction. It's his
49:36 goodness that leads me to repentance, not fear.
49:46 And that's only the stuff we know about Paul that the Bible wrote about. He's
49:55 wrestling with more than what we know about. He says, "I don't count myself to
50:01 have ever in it, but this one thing I do. Forgetting those things that are behind me."
50:06 It doesn't mean he doesn't remember. It means he no longer punish himself for it.
50:11 You know what it means? It means that he realizes this is above me now, that I can
50:18 do nothing to change that. God's got to deal with my past because I can't change
50:26 it. It's above me. Past, I wish I'd been a better parent. It's above you now. I wish
50:32 I had done things differently in my 20s. It's above me now. I wish I hadn't messed
50:36 up that relationship. It's above you now. I wish I hadn't wasted that money. It's
50:40 above you now. I'm done. Several years ago, I was having some conversations with my
50:48 pastor, and one day I'm gonna do a teaching on managing mentors because
50:57 most people don't know how to manage mentors because if you got a
51:00 great one, they're busy. And if they're busy, you have to initiate. And if
51:05 they're busy, and if they're great in character, their sense of self is not
51:11 tied to policing your life. So they only go as deep as you invite them in. They
51:17 busy, right? And so that's something I learned early on. And so I figured he
51:23 can't watch my soul if I don't tell him what's going on with it. So we were
51:30 having a conversation, and I was talking to him about some stuff I was struggling
51:32 with because there was a season in my life I just traveled so much, and I felt
51:38 so bad as a parent.
51:42 I still—that's a pain I used to ask God to take away, and the Holy Spirit
51:49 spoke to me and said, "That's your limp. Just like Jacob had a limp, that's your
51:55 limp. I'm gonna always let you feel that so that you're reminded of what happens
52:00 when you get out of balance. That you will never regret missing a speaking
52:07 engagement, but you will regret missing your kid's game." So to this day, there are
52:19 times I look at—it's a limp. So I was having a conversation with my pastor, and
52:33 I was talking about just like parenting stuff and some leadership stuff, and he's
52:38 very—he's a very active listener. He doesn't interrupt. He just—he lets you unload.
52:42 Very quiet, and then he said to me, he said, "All right," he said, "You're
52:47 done. I don't want to interrupt." I said, "Yes, sir." He said, "You know I love you." I
52:50 said, "Yes, sir." He said, "You know I want what's best for you." I said, "Yes, sir." He
52:55 said, "If—" He said, "First thing I want you to know, you did what you had to do, and
53:03 you did the best you could with what you knew." So he said, "Now, did you learn your
53:08 lesson?" I said, "Yes, sir." He said, "Okay. Now, if regret would help you in any way, I
53:18 promise you I'll let you do it." He says, "But your past can be a prison that
53:26 incarcerates you or a school that educates you, and God don't pick that. You
53:32 do." So right now, Darius, you got to decide. Are you gonna let that season be a
53:42 prison that incarcerates you or a school that educates you? Do you believe He will
53:49 redeem time? Do you believe He will take what the enemy meant for evil and turn
53:54 it for good? And I released it because the energy I was spending focusing on
54:04 who I wish I was was energy that I could spend becoming who I was called to be.
54:11 It's above me now. I'm done. It's above you now. I'm getting ready to pray a
54:23 benediction over you. Before I do, I want you in this moment, while the presence of
54:29 God is in the room and grace is being released, to take a moment to forgive you.
54:36 This not mama. This not daddy.
54:42 Lord, I forgive me.
54:47 It's above me now.
54:52 You gotta fix that. I can't fix it.
54:59 In this room online, forgive you.
55:08 God did not say you have to punish yourself indefinitely because of what
55:18 you did previously.
55:23 Father, I pray over every person online and in this room who fights with the
55:41 Pharaohs of their past. Things they wish they'd done differently, seasons they
55:47 wish they'd managed differently. I pray that you give them perspective. They did
55:58 the best they could with what they knew.
56:01 Give them perspective that this does not have to be a prison. It could be a school.
56:10 Give them the grace to let it go.
56:17 Let it go.
56:20 Let it go.
56:24 Let it go.
56:30 New beginning.
56:34 New mercy.
56:38 New mercy.
56:41 In Jesus name, let me release this word of you. It was actually my last point. God
56:52 did not say, go to third point media, God did not say that, the third one, God did
57:02 not say that wasted time was lost time.
57:08 Pastor, I wasted time. God's like, I'm not gonna let you lose it. I'm gonna redeem
57:19 that and I'm gonna take the rest of your life and what I'm gonna do in the rest
57:24 of your life is gonna be so crazy. Watch this, you're not just gonna be where
57:30 you would have been, you're gonna be ahead of where you would have been. In
57:39 Jesus name.