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00:00 Cosmo the Mighty Martian #4. Max continues to be the stereotypical dumb tough guy saying that he barely passed history class, which justifies why he needs to be told about the relics.
00:13 The last known thing their ancestors made before an apocalypse that the writer seems too lazy to explain right away, even though it's obviously interesting.
00:23 If you don't care about world building, why even bring that up? Medulla doesn't know what all of the relics do, which makes no sense because they were already famous enough to be part of history.
00:34 They would have been used for their power and made history.
00:38 Why does someone without an M at the start of her name have an M on her headband?
00:44 In fact, the only one of them who doesn't have a hat with an M is Medulla, even though she's from Mars too.
00:51 They waste time stating the obvious they already know.
00:55 Out of nowhere, Cosmo reveals that he can't control the visions, even though we were shown that he could use the vision power to win a shell game.
01:03 Obviously, he was drawn smirking for a reason, because he was controlling it.
01:09 We're supposed to assume that he won it because he conveniently had a vision of how to win it ahead of time.
01:15 But if he can't control the visions, why was he smirking instead of just surprised?
01:22 What causes the visions?
01:24 Would they have had a vision to prevent Orbee from being kidnapped?
01:28 If he gets visions to help him, why don't they happen to make sure he gets help with every problem he'll face?
01:35 If he gets visions for something as minor as winning a shell game, what determines them happening?
01:41 Because the last one was pointless.
01:44 He wastes time bragging that he out of all the beings was chosen by unseen powers to have this ability, establishing that he is unique by being psychic.
01:55 But him being the only one with that power doesn't make much sense.
02:00 It just seems distractingly fictiony.
02:03 I could believe that he can tap into the natural magic around him everywhere because of his DNA to get a power, but other rare individuals should also be able to do this then.
02:13 Thankfully he's interrupted by a vision rather than his friends brutally ignoring him because of his bragging.
02:20 Astra's still rude, relatively thankful that he shut up because she has a problem with her friends being confident at all.
02:29 And Max becomes boom knuckles by asking who Frankly is.
02:33 This would have had a better chance of being funny if he asked this right after he said Frankly.
02:39 But at least he isn't nearly as frequent about being stupid as boom knuckles.
02:45 Instead he waits so long to say Frankly that it's confusing and I take a while to get the joke.
02:50 This is no better than Pontac and Grant's joke where it takes too long for Sonic to say "Who are you calling nothing?"
02:57 He's officially made almost all the same mistakes that every major Sonic writer made, complete with characters being racist.
03:05 Orbeez said he didn't know how to feel about his relic being connected to a human.
03:10 So why is that okay, but it's unacceptable for the Mobians and humans to have a thing going on where they don't like each other.
03:18 Medulla says their relics are in stasis fields, reminding me of Sonic X with the Chaos Emeralds.
03:24 Because otherwise they'll try to bind to the ship, even though the ship isn't made of the same material as the spacesuit.
03:31 So if they just bind to anything, why didn't they bind to the treasure chest that it was stored in when that princess opened it?
03:40 Astro wonders what they'd do to their spaceship, which makes me wonder if that'll happen.
03:45 And Medulla's somehow looking forward to it.
03:48 Usually his visions don't last this long.
03:51 Cosmo says gibberish in a pathetic attempt at comedy, and again Max calls him by the wrong name.
03:57 Is this supposed to be a mistake of him instead of him calling him by nicknames for fun?
04:02 Because he does this while looking concerned.
04:05 He's officially worse than Boom Knuckles.
04:08 Even someone mentally disabled wouldn't get his best friend's name wrong all the time.
04:12 This is just depressing.
04:14 Cosmo somehow talks as if the only thing he saw was the Queen's Palace.
04:20 How's that all he learned when his vision lasted that long?
04:24 Why would it last that long then?
04:26 Max figures out that the last relic must be with the Queen, and the heroes are too scared to go get it.
04:32 Astro says they could alert High Command on Mars to get it.
04:36 There's a bullshit lazy hand wave where Cosmo says that'd only make more problems for them, and insultingly that's the end of it.
04:45 Why in the world would them having backup to take on Venus that even the Queen is scared of create more problems for them?
04:54 Unless we're supposed to think the Martian government is evil, isn't it true that they deserve to get their relics back?
05:01 It turns out Medula has an uncle who's a top scientist of Mars conveniently, because apparently behind every woman is a man.
05:09 It makes her less impressive when she's not unique.
05:13 He answers to High Command.
05:15 Any scientist would answer to the government, but that doesn't mean scientists work directly for the government.
05:22 Max calls them out, and it helps up Cosmo, and sadly makes a long, boring, cliche motivational speech for them.
05:29 As if now we're supposed to take him seriously, as if that makes up for everything else.
05:34 Most of the speeches recap.
05:37 He says the universe chose them, and the team dumbass effortlessly motivates them to risk heading for Venus in a spaceship that's called the UFO, but lamely looks nothing like one.
05:48 So why is he allowed to say that the universe chose them, but when Cosmo says it, Astrid just insults him?
05:55 Out of complete nowhere, it turns out the UFO is a cloaking system, so I have to just assume that it'd be impossible for them to give the other spaceship one, because it requires stuff they can't get, or take way too long.
06:07 But someone casually reading this might not think of that, and just think it's mind-boggling that the heroes didn't learn their lesson from last time, and make the Sagittarius invincible.
06:17 Madula says the spaceship is so low-tech, it won't register on any sensors.
06:22 Really? The radar can't detect it because it's lower-tech?
06:27 It's still a freaking spaceship with artificial gravity!
06:30 It's no flying thing at all!
06:32 Madula's condescending to Max, as I wonder why the writer's doing this to the only likable character left, when I kinda hate most of these idiots.
06:41 Why is the only Earthling the person we're supposed to relate to the most an idiot?
06:47 Max somehow thanks her for not mentioning something, even though she just did.
06:52 Somehow their spaceship isn't shot down this time.
06:56 You'd think the area close to the Queen's Castle would have laser shooters right next to it.
07:01 Max really is a newcomer, because he needs to be told things used to be different here.
07:06 Madula used to be able to book a spa day here.
07:09 It just makes no sense that things used to be different if it isn't established that someone else used to be in charge here.
07:16 Fortunately, it's explained that the Queen took over, and that's what changed things.
07:21 This is another thing that shouldn't have been established in issue 1.
07:25 Vital knowledge about the world shouldn't be established by drip-feeding.
07:29 You'd think the writer would care about that.
07:32 Issue 1 of Archie Sonic established everything we needed to know at the time in two stories.
07:37 In the same issue.
07:39 At least they are whispering, so that's why the guards don't hear them.
07:43 At least Max has the sense to be scared of them instead of dangerously overconfident.
07:48 Cosmo moves some plants to see a carving on the ronky wall that the Queen made of the two of them, calling them best friends forever.
07:55 I hope it gets explained that the Queen was brainwashed into becoming evil, because this is too contrasting,
08:00 and it's gotten annoying that her becoming evil wasn't explained right away.
08:04 Cosmo finds a secret entrance that you'd think the Queen would've made impossible to access if she introduced her mortal enemy to it earlier.
08:12 No matter how confident she is in her castle's home defenses being intimidating,
08:16 this would be like Eggman leaving an easy way to get into his base accessible.
08:20 It reminds me of that horrible Sonic Universe arc where the evil Snake sub-boss
08:26 allowed a secret passageway into his base to stay there because he wanted the heroes to get in there.
08:33 Conveniently, Madula already has a scanner for the relics,
08:37 even though it's unnecessarily established that she didn't have much time to make it.
08:42 Why did Cosmo wait until now to tell his friends his plan?
08:46 They go upstairs, being surrounded by rooms with civilians in it, even though I thought they were entering a castle.
08:52 Why is there a karate class in there?
08:54 Madula decides to try a list of passwords she downloaded from the servers to get to the Royal Armory.
09:01 If she can download passwords, why doesn't that list also say what the passwords are going to?
09:08 Someone would make that list because they would want to access it themselves to remember what password they need.
09:15 And that list would be useless if it didn't also say what the passwords went to.
09:20 And when Cosmo naturally assumes the password is a strong, computer-generated one,
09:25 the main villain again had a weak password.
09:28 This was foreshadowed by it happening before, though, so it makes sense.
09:32 Astra says paranoidly that this was too easy, and surprisingly, all three princesses threaten them from the armory
09:39 because they have the common sense to assume they'd come here to get the last relic.
09:44 Cosmo apparently does have the guts to try lethal force,
09:47 because it shoots a ray gun trying to hit one of them and it just hits a laser.
09:51 So there's officially no excuse for the heroes not all bringing their ray guns to the first mission.
09:57 And it'd also be insulting if Cosmo and Astra are the only ones to have weapons,
10:02 even though all of them go on missions.
10:04 Why don't all of them have lightsabers, then?
10:07 Again, that needs to be explained more than ever now.
10:10 The ray gun gets effortlessly dealt with, and there's no explanation for why the lightsaber conked out, making this enraging.
10:17 It makes lightsabers look pathetic compared to real swords.
10:22 Like, why do they even bother with them, then?
10:24 A long, sharp weapon tries to steal Medulla's backpack, and the princess gets it and threatens them with the two relics.
10:33 I have a question. Why did Medulla actually bring the relics with her?
10:37 That seems unnecessary. I thought she'd keep them on the spaceship.
10:41 Because that was common sense.
10:43 Once again, a plot point is insultingly forced by lazy idiot balls making it impossible to enjoy.
10:49 Speaking of those, Max wastes time talking to his enemy from behind so she knows to turn around,
10:55 and he's lucky she didn't actually hit him with a sword.
10:58 You'd think after all the fights they've gone through where that backfires, they would know better than to talk before attacking first.
11:05 There's making the villains competent, and then there's the narrative cheating to make them win.
11:10 Astra grabs the arm of the naive one so that when Max tackles her, she drops it.
11:15 Max gets kicked and sent falling on Orby, which logically should injure if not kill him.
11:22 It's irritating that Cosmo's punch somehow does nothing to Shiz's wrist.
11:26 Instead, she sends a flying boomerang out of her glove of a million uses, and what unique gimmick does the third one have?
11:33 The third one should have had that ability. She doesn't even have a personality.
11:37 Max somehow wastes time standing there talking and using a child that's a human shield,
11:43 even though it could at least run up to her and punch her in all of that time where she conveniently stood still as they were talking.
11:50 They both get shocked, and the same goes for the pet and Medulla.
11:54 It's just annoying because the villains show no indication of having the ability to do this to all of them when it's mandatory for them to win.
12:02 I assume the ability to do this was just made in-universe, so that's why it wasn't done before.
12:07 The dialogue after this is confusing because obviously Boudicca didn't give the Martians the relic, so they believed her lying.
12:16 The girl's hand is on his shoulder. Cosmo ends up led away from his friends,
12:21 and it's annoying that we're told Cosmo broke promises and lied to the Queen when we don't know the specifics.
12:28 Vague worldbuilding is just lazy and aggravating.
12:32 Cosmo the Mighty Martian #5
12:36 The first scene just seems to be a boring waste of time.
12:39 Cosmo tries to convince her to let his friends go.
12:43 She tells him Mercy isn't the Martian way.
12:46 She blushes and says she can't stay mad at him for long.
12:50 You know it's messed up when she's better to him than Astra is most of the time.
12:54 Max rips off Star Trek by saying "Captain's luck."
12:58 He bores me with melodramatic recap, and I wonder why he has something that can scratch the walls.
13:04 It turns out Cosmo and Astra came up with a backup plan,
13:08 which is hard to believe because they were idiots last issue.
13:13 And if they expected they would be captured, why did they even bring the relics with them?
13:17 Why isn't this the genius's plan? She's the genius!
13:22 We see that Pat pressed a button to free them from the cell as the guards knocked out in front of him.
13:28 So how long have they been enemies of the Queen?
13:32 Because if they were enemies with her for a long time, you'd think she would have known to restrain the pet because she'd know what its abilities are.
13:41 Cosmo is surprisingly smart by saying that he'll kneel and serve to save his friends rather than refusing to humor her.
13:49 But then he says she knows who his heart belongs to,
13:52 even though I didn't think she knew who Astra was when they were childhood friends.
13:57 Let alone that he's in love with Astra.
13:59 And he drops his brain cells entirely, wasting time, saying that no one knows what the soul is.
14:06 She yells at him and tries to monsterize him with their wand alone, as apparently it was a wand all along.
14:13 She says she only trusted him in the past, and eventually, for no reason,
14:18 the heroes waste time staring at the relics when anyone else would pick them up and run,
14:23 because at any moment some guards could find them.
14:27 Max picks it up and creates a bubble around them that at first I thought was the result of a security system trapping them in a force field.
14:34 But no, the villains don't have common sense here, even though they should have expected that their pet would be able to free them.
14:42 So instead he made a psychokinesis bubble around them to float them.
14:46 And he blasts his way through the ceiling and eventually gets to Cosmo.
14:50 So he succeeded with the power of his imagination.
14:53 He didn't know what the relics could do, he was just lucky that it turned out that they had the exact powers he wanted.
15:00 When aside from one of the relics keeping him alive, there was no indication that any of them were able to do these sorts of things.
15:07 And somehow, Astra effortlessly convinces Cosmo to grab her hand,
15:12 even though the monster ray was established to make every mutant entirely obedient to the queen and her side.
15:18 This would be like if the Zombot or Robian obeyed someone else's order than Eggman's when he's right there.
15:25 Why on earth is it being written this way instead of the heroes having to try hard to earn this?
15:30 It's not even a matter of it being rushed, it could have been written that Max moved the anti-gravity bubble forwards to trap him in it.
15:38 So that'd just be one extra panel.
15:41 Also in the amount of time they spent staying still, she could have shot her beam at the bubble.
15:46 I wonder if the bubble would reflect anything.
15:49 Maybe that's why she didn't shoot it, she thought it might deflect at her and turn her into a mutant.
15:54 But why wasn't that written for some karma?
15:57 It could be believable that she wouldn't have expected that.
16:00 I mean if it's the psychokinesis field, then you wouldn't expect that if you fired at Silver's psychokinesis field, the laser would reflect back at you.
16:10 There's no indication to the main characters that the relics were magical.
16:14 The only one that had an ability was the same ability that their uniforms had.
16:21 So that's science.
16:23 The relics being magical makes sense to us because we already thought of them as MacGuffins and therefore Chaos Emeralds.
16:30 I think it's fine to ruin the surprise and tell us issues early that they'd have those abilities.
16:37 Instead it just seems too convenient.
16:40 Because if we knew what their powers were all along, we would have cared about them from the start.
16:45 They fly out of the castle and out of complete nowhere, Boudicca tells her to sacrifice her on the altar so that their enemies would be punished.
16:54 Because she's so desperate to get her mother's approval, even though obviously it wouldn't get her approval.
17:01 Somehow she agrees to this even though she also said she's forgiven.
17:05 It's just being written for the shock value again.
17:08 But I don't see the value in that kind of writing.
17:11 Subverting the audience's expectations doesn't necessarily mean that it's the right call to make.
17:16 A lot of people were let down by the last main Star Wars movie because of that.
17:21 And she was the only princess we sympathized with.
17:24 Why not have the third personalityless princess have this happen to her so she can get to do something?
17:32 So we eventually see the Queen in a horrible giant mutant form.
17:36 Why didn't she just fire the beam at herself instead?
17:39 This could have happened to her from her shooting their bubble.
17:42 Out of nowhere, Cosmo assumes that this is Boudicca instead of the Queen herself.
17:48 Which would have made sense meta-wise because she's the big bad of the series and I thought this was the final issue.
17:55 But it turned out it was just the final issue on ReComicOnline because no one cares about this comic.
18:01 I guess the Queen's design isn't memorable enough for me to instantly know if it's her or is a mutant.
18:06 Cosmo tells Max to plug something into his console on the spaceship.
18:10 And for no reason he hesitates and was racist against Martian tech of Medulas, despite how useful it was.
18:18 We were told that the relic could attach itself to their spaceship earlier, but there was no foreshadowing that it would do anything good.
18:26 So wouldn't it just be the heroes sabotaging themselves since it was fine with eating a spacesuit so wouldn't it eat the spaceship?
18:34 Astro gets told to connect the relic to the cockpit of the spaceship while he'll go to the cockpit of the UFO.
18:41 And at first I thought she was possessed by the relic and made evil like in Twilight Princess because of how she talked.
18:49 Why have comedy at a time like this?
18:52 Usually I'm okay with him undermining the drama with comedy because it's a franchise I'm new to, not totally invested in, and I really would like to break from his constant drama.
19:04 But this is the climax of the arc.
19:07 Also why on earth isn't the giant monster attacking their spaceship in all of this planning time?
19:13 He puts his hand on her shoulder and reassures her.
19:16 He tells the characters that are useless in battle to get someplace safe, tells his pet to be a bodyguard to them,
19:23 and because of the relics, out of nowhere we see the spaceship look like a giant transformer robot.
19:31 I can't take this seriously.
19:34 You have to foreshadow this.
19:36 Granted I can't do that without ruining the surprise, but who takes Deus Ex Machina seriously?
19:42 This never felt like an anime.
19:44 It never felt like that issue with Pinkie and the brain with the giant robots that were fighting.
19:50 I think it would have been perfectly fine to tell us that the relics could do this from the start so we'd actually have a reason to care about them and whether the heroes get them or not.
20:01 It's not even explained that the relics are simply magical, like we'd be keeping it simple, and that'd be a get out of jail free card.
20:08 Instead the relics were only described to be technology, and this doesn't come naturally from any of the things the relics were able to do.
20:16 It just doesn't make any sense to me that spaceships that aren't meant to be connected together like Mecha would make a functioning Mecha.
20:26 The control panel that Cosmo and Aster are used to using would not be wired so that it could work for it.
20:34 I mean, even if it was rewired because the relics are alive, how would they know how to control it?
20:40 It would be realistic if they had to press every button in the hopes that they would figure out how to control it.
20:46 The giant monster only survives in space because of magic, I guess.
20:51 This is Sonic X writing.
20:53 Why can't the fight take place on the surface instead of space?
20:57 This just makes the fight look more generic.
21:00 Why should I care about the fight with a giant monster if flashes of light censor all of the impacts in the fight?
21:06 I can't find that satisfying.
21:09 Medulla gives an exposition comparing the Mecha to the anti-mutagens she created.
21:14 So they find out they can cure her by punching her with the Mecha.
21:19 Why would she create anti-mutagens for Venetians?
21:23 I mean, she has to create different anti-mutagens depending on the species, and she's never seen a mutated Venetian before.
21:31 And she didn't know she would ever come into contact with one because they were always mutating non-Venetians.
21:38 And logically, she might end up killed by those punches before she could even be cured.
21:43 The Royal Palace gets destroyed with the Queen witnessing it from her spaceship.
21:48 At least everyone was evacuated just in time.
21:52 She didn't care so little that she didn't evacuate.
21:55 So that makes her feel realistic.
21:58 Why would the Queen have backup plans when she thought she'd win?
22:02 Even her daughters didn't expect the heroes to get the relics.
22:06 Max says a new light appeared and it's blinking a lot.
22:10 Why didn't it do that earlier?
22:13 He processes it and that causes the villain to be hit by a rainbow beam that returns her to normal.
22:18 Why couldn't this have been done right away?
22:21 Also, why is it rainbow colored? It doesn't mean anything.
22:26 The fight ended as soon as it began, and with no impact shown, it was pointless to show us anyways.
22:33 Especially since, again, it's not the Queen herself.
22:37 Cosmo simply has to ask the relics to return their spaceship to normal, and it does so.
22:43 Well, with every other thing the relics did.
22:46 They did it without being asked to.
22:48 Without the heroes even knowing what they were for.
22:51 Cosmo thanks the relics.
22:53 The princess passes out.
22:55 Cosmo flatters his friends that he couldn't have done this without all of them.
23:00 And somehow he thinks he ousted the Queen even though he knows she would have escaped in his spaceship.
23:05 It'd be stupid of her not to.
23:07 If he thought she died when the palace was destroyed, why is he happy instead of mourning his childhood friend?
23:14 The story sadly ends there instead of showing the princess joining their team now that her mother left her for dead in a kids' comic.
23:22 We didn't even know if she would survive after she passed out.
23:27 Well, that was bad.
23:29 This issue by Ian Flynn is about Cosmo and his friends going to the location of the last relic with Madol's hacking power.
23:37 And once again, she doesn't make any effort in getting past security.
23:42 And somehow, for no reason, she brought the rest of the relics with her.
23:47 Which forces the villains to get them back when they could have been written to just run all the way to their spaceship to get them.
23:54 Not that it mattered as they didn't use the relics against the heroes.
23:58 Which would be common sense to write to have them get made defenseless.
24:02 Instead of the villains winning with the new weapon.
24:05 Making it feel like bullshit.
24:07 As why didn't they use it before?
24:09 The ability to shoot electrified discs is an insanely overpowered one.
24:14 An instant "I win" button.
24:16 And it doesn't help that we aren't told their ammo limit.
24:20 Why didn't Madol make this then?
24:22 Why don't the heroes have gloves like this?
24:25 I assume they've known Madol for quite a long time so she would have had plenty of time to make them electrified gloves.
24:32 This issue by Influen is about the heroes being freed from their cell effortlessly by their pet just by pressing a button.
24:39 Because somehow nobody took the proper measures to restrain the pet.
24:44 Or even wisened up and instantly killed it after all the years of experience with it.
24:49 This whole comic is about characters simply pressing buttons to do things.
24:54 Not earning them in a cool way.
24:56 Sonic creating Tornado with his super speed is cooler than anything they do.
25:01 Why was Cosmo able to grab Astra's hand when she was in the Relic Bubble when he was a brainwashed monster?
25:07 How did it get turned back to normal after that?
25:10 When the anti-mutagens weren't in the Bubble or Relics and the Relics aren't magical.
25:15 It's a lazy deus ex machina.
25:17 When they could have arrived to him before he got mutated.
25:21 And speaking of that, there was no indication that the Relics could turn their spaceship into a giant mecha to fight a monster in space.
25:28 So it came so out of nowhere I just stared at it blankly for seconds being in denial that it was part of the comic.
25:35 And it's not like the fight was cool enough to make up for it because it had flashes of light censoring every impact.
25:42 Ruining what catharsis could have been there.
25:45 You'd think the Queen would have made herself the monster because she's the big bad.
25:49 And she could have done that by sending a monster beam at the Bubble and it getting reflected at her.
25:54 But instead it was underwhelming.
25:56 It's the one princess we might not want to see get hurt.
26:00 And let's mention it wasn't foreshadowed that the Relics would give Max all those abilities.
26:06 Since we didn't know they were magical either.
26:08 I can see that the story was trying to be an epic climax.
26:12 But it wrapped things up in the most rushed lazy way imaginable.
26:17 Only being creative for the deus ex machinas.
26:20 (upbeat music)