DOWN LOW - Extended Preview
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00 So you've never touched a dick before? Like even as a kid?
00:02 Um...
00:04 No.
00:05 Oh my god, Gary, that is so gay.
00:07 I'm not supposed to drink, so...
00:08 That is the most repressed Catholic ass s*** I've ever heard in my life.
00:12 I did jerk off once in the steam room at our country club.
00:14 God, not even in Equinox? Jesus Christ, Gary.
00:17 It was a long time ago. The world's a different place now.
00:19 S***, please. The ancient Greeks were gay.
00:21 Zeus ate d*** for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I mean, that's why he was so strong.
00:25 Holicum.
00:26 What?
00:29 You're a very spirited young man.
00:30 You know what is so funny?
00:32 Is people say s*** like that to me all the time and I never know what it means.
00:35 But this isn't about me.
00:42 This is about you.
00:45 I want to know why now.
00:47 I can't believe I'm telling you this.
00:50 I got married so young.
00:52 I had kids so young that I never gave myself an opportunity to ask—
00:55 Holy s***, Gary. I didn't even think about that.
00:57 Your kids are so lucky.
00:58 Why?
00:59 They have a gay dad. What's better than that?
01:01 Well, I doubt they see it that way, Corey.
01:04 Please, call me Cameron.
01:05 Corey's the work name. It helps me get into character.
01:08 But you and I are friends now.
01:09 Okay.
01:11 Well, Cameron, um, my kids don't talk to me, so—
01:18 What?
01:18 I'm sorry. You're telling me that your family won't talk to you because you prefer bussy over—
01:23 What the actual f***?
01:25 Wait, Patti had her reasons.
01:27 God, Patti?
01:28 I mean, look at the kids.
01:28 Oh, Patti.
01:30 Patti's a very, very c***y name, Gary.
01:33 Cameron.
01:34 No. I'm sorry, Gary, but that is bull.
01:37 You were honest with those g****s and they turned their back on you because of your sexuality.
01:42 I'll talk to that b***h for you.
01:44 I'm a people person. Give me your phone.
01:45 No, no. It's okay. You don't have to do that.
01:46 Gary, the only thing better than my dad being gay would have been him being like a Reiki master.
01:50 I would have killed to have a dad like you.
01:54 I'm dying.
01:55 Oh, baby, I'm dying too. I mean, every night I fall asleep with my AirPods in—
01:59 I'm actually dying.
02:00 I have an inoperable brain tumor.
02:05 Oh, s***.
02:11 I'm sure you're not.
02:22 I'm sorry. I really don't know what to say.
02:26 I mean, words of affirmation is not my love language.
02:28 It's more like—
02:30 Okay, okay.
02:33 You don't have to worry about not knowing how to respond.
02:36 Nobody's reacted that well thus far, myself included.
02:39 Oh, Gary. Are you okay?
02:41 I mean, I know you're not okay, obviously, but I mean—
02:44 It's like I just realized that I've been alive for nearly half a century
02:50 and I haven't actually lived even a second of it.
02:52 Okay. Okay, Gary.
02:57 Gary, I'm gonna help you.
02:58 What?
03:00 Let's find someone for you.
03:01 Someone you've always wanted who will put what you want first.
03:04 Honestly, can you just finish the handjob and go?
03:07 Oh, shut up.
03:08 Shut up, Gary.
03:10 We're doing this.
03:12 You are gonna do this.
03:13 Now, have you heard of Plunger?
03:17 No.
03:19 It's a sex app.
03:20 Why do I need a sex app? I literally paid for you.
03:23 Because you're not gay until you've hooked up with a complete stranger
03:28 on an app who looks nothing like their pictures.
03:30 Okay.
03:31 So, crash course.
03:32 Basically, once you set up your profile, then you put in your stats.
03:36 That's the basics.
03:37 Like your height, your body type, your pronouns, your positions.
03:41 That's the top-bottom stuff.
03:42 I'll figure it out later for you.
03:43 Jesus.
03:43 Your relationship status, date last tested, etc., etc.
03:47 And then, boom, you are getting your hole licked, your salad tossed,
03:50 your carpet munched by your best friend's dad or a closeted neighbor.
03:53 I'm sorry. This is a lot to take in.
03:55 It's a lot, Gary.
03:56 I wish they had a gay Duolingo.
03:57 You know what?
04:01 Why don't you see for yourself?
04:05 Go on.
04:08 [Music]
04:19 Oh, my God.
04:20 There's so many hot guys.
04:21 Yes, there are.
04:24 But if you want to talk to any of them, you're going to need an avatar.
04:27 A profile picture, Gary.
04:29 You're going to need a profile picture no one's going to answer.
04:31 Now, do you know what lighting in your house makes you the most dewy?
04:35 Can we just use a picture of you?
04:37 Seriously?
04:38 Look at you.
04:39 I'm not going to get very many responses.
04:42 Yeah, not with that attitude.
04:44 Do you know your angles?
04:45 My angles?
04:46 Oh, for f*ck's sake, Gary.
04:47 Come on. I can't just teach you everything.
04:49 Hot?
04:54 Yeah, that's very hot.
04:58 I know.
04:58 I'll just call us Vlad and Dad.
05:06 Okay. Um...
05:07 Hmm.
05:10 How about this guy?
05:12 Two miles away.
05:15 Dom top. DL. Mask for mask.
05:18 I love to suck.
05:19 What's DL?
05:20 It's down low, just like you.
05:21 Oh, I like his hat.
05:25 Okay.
05:27 I like your hat, bro.
05:30 You're hot.
05:35 You too.
05:36 Wait, he already wrote back to you?
05:37 Yep.
05:37 Come over and drain me.
05:41 Okay, I'm sorry. No, no, wait, Cameron.
05:43 I think that this might just be too much.
05:45 Too late. He's already on his way.
05:47 Wait, what?
05:47 I dropped a pin.
05:48 You gave him my address?
05:49 Yeah.
05:49 But Cameron, I might not be ready for this.
05:51 I mean, it took me a week just to work up the courage to call you,
05:54 and now you've invited some complete stranger to my home.
05:58 Gary?
05:58 I don't even know who this person is.
05:59 Gary?
06:00 How am I supposed to react to that?
06:01 You need to loosen up.
06:02 How?
06:02 Because you're with me.
06:03 I am like human poppers.
06:05 I open anyone up.
06:06 All you have to do is sit back and relax.
06:09 Relax.
06:10 You're gonna be okay.
06:12 I promise.
06:13 Prom?
06:14 Half a promise.
06:16 Did you just make that up?
06:17 Oh my god, it's New York, Gary.
06:19 The reality star.
06:20 Oh, Jesus, you have so much to learn.
06:22 I'm going to your kitchen.
06:24 [music]
06:36 Gary, it's so harsh in here.
06:38 You need to liven it up.
06:39 Spoon, spoon, spoon, spoon, spoon, spoon, spoon.
06:46 You really are dying, aren't you?
06:48 [music]
07:01 Gary and Patricia had a long and beautiful marriage filled with blessing and love.
07:04 The life they shared was harmonious and fulfilling, raising the boys.
07:07 However, Gary has now left the marriage to finally pursue his life as a gay man.
07:12 There are no words to describe the shock and heartache Patricia feels
07:17 regarding Gary's new path.
07:18 Y agramente.
07:21 Gary?
07:23 Oh my god.
07:24 Okay, can we please talk about this?
07:27 Because what the actual f--k?
07:29 Forget that.
07:30 I went through your s--t.
07:30 Of course.
07:33 After the split, Patty lashed out in interesting and craft-based ways.
07:41 It sounded like weighted paper.
07:43 Like you're telling me this f--k went to Kinko's and printed how many copies?
07:46 She sent them to quite a number of people in our lives.
07:50 Gary, it's like a eulogy for straight you.
07:52 Rest in peace.
07:53 Yeah.
07:55 At least you got to keep the house.
07:56 [BLANK_AUDIO]