Are you questioning the future of your relationship? In this video, we explore six powerful signs that indicate a breakup might be the right decision for you. By the end of this video, this video is able to help you gain clarity and find the courage to make the best decision for your emotional well-being and personal growth. Do you resonate with these signs?
Source: psych2go
Source: psych2go
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00:00 fuzzy blanket, 80s ballads, blasting,
00:04 and empty ice cream pints.
00:06 I think we all know what this means.
00:08 Size going through a breakup.
00:10 If there's one thing that's true about breakups,
00:13 it's never easy for anyone.
00:16 It's ironic.
00:17 As we search for love and happiness,
00:18 we focus on uncovering the secrets
00:20 to a successful marriage,
00:22 the signs a couple is compatible,
00:24 and which factors can best predict
00:26 their long-term happiness in a relationship
00:28 to the point that we get tunnel vision.
00:31 While we weren't paying attention,
00:33 psychologists have stumbled upon an unusual discovery,
00:36 that breakups have unexpected benefits.
00:39 Researchers, whose work we will be touching upon later,
00:43 can all attest to this.
00:44 Even though breaking up is hard to do,
00:47 staying in a relationship that's no longer good for you
00:50 just might be worse.
00:51 So if you're in a relationship
00:53 and wondering if a breakup might be good for you,
00:56 here are six signs that a breakup might be good for you.
00:58 A quick disclaimer though,
01:00 we're not telling or encouraging anyone to break up.
01:03 If you're thinking about breaking up with a partner
01:04 because of serious relationship struggles,
01:07 it would be better to talk to a trusted friend
01:08 or mental health professional about your specific situation.
01:11 All right, let's get into it.
01:13 Here we go again.
01:15 If you and your partner rehash the same argument over
01:18 and over, you might feel like a broken record
01:21 stuck in a loop on Groundhog Day.
01:23 While it's perfectly normal and healthy
01:25 for couples to get into disagreements from time to time,
01:28 repeating the same argument can be unproductive.
01:31 According to a Healthline article from 2019 by Cindy Lamont,
01:35 this is a telltale sign that it's time to break up.
01:39 Repeating the same argument means
01:40 that you've already reached an impasse in your relationship.
01:43 There are certain things you just cannot agree
01:46 to disagree on or refuse to compromise.
01:49 Maybe this thing is something important to you both.
01:51 Maybe not.
01:52 If you feel that you and your partner aren't compatible
01:55 in your views and values,
01:56 this may be a sign that a breakup could be good for you.
02:00 That's not what I want.
02:01 For a relationship to stand the test of time,
02:04 you and your partner need to have a shared idea
02:06 of your future together and mutually agree upon goals
02:09 that speak to your core values as a couple.
02:12 The moment these goals become misaligned,
02:14 then it's definitely going to cause a rift between you two.
02:17 Sometimes the two ideas may be totally different,
02:19 but other times it can even look like your partner
02:22 deciding their goals are more important,
02:24 forcing you to put your ideas on hold.
02:27 And according to a 2014 study about breakup benefits,
02:30 having a greater sense of self-direction
02:32 is one of the benefits of breaking up with someone.
02:34 So if you're feeling like there's no room for you
02:37 in your beliefs and goals in your relationship,
02:40 it might be time for a breakup
02:41 to allow you time to flourish.
02:44 I'm fine.
02:45 As with any relationship, romantic or platonic,
02:48 the emotional needs of both parties involved
02:50 need to be met to feel satisfied by the relationship.
02:53 These needs can be quality time, affection, assurance,
02:57 mutual trust, respect, you get it.
03:00 So if you're in a relationship
03:02 where your needs are no longer being met,
03:04 then a breakup might be good for you.
03:06 If you stay in a relationship where your needs aren't met,
03:09 it's possible that you may begin to ignore your own needs
03:12 or resent your partner for ignoring them,
03:14 as was shown in one study by Stackhart and Bursic.
03:18 Emotional distance.
03:19 While your whole world certainly doesn't need to revolve
03:22 around your significant other for it to be considered
03:24 a loving and healthy relationship,
03:26 you do need to have a certain amount of emotional closeness
03:31 and intimacy with one another.
03:33 As studies like Abdul Kalak's have pointed out,
03:35 the greater the emotional intimacy in the relationship,
03:38 the better the couple's quality of life
03:40 and psychological adjustment.
03:42 So if you've noticed yourself growing closer to other people
03:45 and wanting to spend more time with them
03:47 instead of your partner,
03:49 then there's a good chance that the two of you
03:51 have already drifted apart.
03:52 Let's say you and your friends are out for a night
03:54 on the town celebrating someone's recent promotion.
03:57 When it's time to go home,
03:59 are you happy to go home to your significant other?
04:02 Or do you try to convince the group to grab some food
04:04 before calling it a night?
04:06 What about after work?
04:07 Do you run errands or make plans to avoid going home?
04:11 This could be a sign that it's time to break up.
04:14 The light switch relationship.
04:16 Like we said before, breakups suck.
04:19 Being in an on-again, off-again relationship
04:21 can just keep that pain coming back around and around.
04:24 Think like Ross and Rachel.
04:26 Every time they broke up, they were sad,
04:28 telling the other friends how they missed each other
04:31 and even were jealous of new partners.
04:33 Now there's nothing wrong with finding love
04:34 with the same person the second time around.
04:37 Remember, even Ross and Rachel ended up together,
04:39 but there are differences between TV and real life.
04:42 When you're in a true on-again, off-again situation,
04:46 it can be confusing and emotionally draining
04:49 for both parties involved.
04:51 When you go back to the on-again phase,
04:53 this might be done out of loneliness
04:55 and a desire for something familiar.
04:58 According to a 2009 study by Melissa Ramsey Miller,
05:01 in instances like this,
05:03 it's ultimately better to let them go and move on yourself
05:07 than to keep you both trapped in this unhealthy cycle.
05:10 And are you better with or without?
05:13 Does your sense of obligation to your partner
05:15 keep you from chasing certain dreams
05:17 or limit the opportunities you allow yourself to pursue?
05:21 Do you feel that certain opinions or beliefs
05:24 between you and your partner clash
05:26 so you minimize them to avoid conflict?
05:28 Do you get the sense that your personalities
05:30 don't compliment each other well?
05:32 This can be a difficult thing to admit,
05:35 but you owe it to yourself to be honest.
05:38 If you answered yes to any of these questions,
05:40 it might be worth thinking about what it may be like
05:43 if you weren't with them anymore.
05:45 Studies as the ones by Alicia Franklin in 2015
05:48 and the 2013 study led by Tai Tashiro
05:51 show that there are considerable benefits to breaking up,
05:54 like the ones we've discussed here.
05:56 While it's never easy to let go of someone you love
05:58 and end a once happy relationship,
06:01 the truth is that sometimes people grow apart
06:04 and our paths can take us in different directions in life.
06:07 As the famous Marilyn Monroe quote goes,
06:10 "Sometimes things fall apart,
06:12 so better things can fall together."
06:14 Ultimately, even the heartbreaking end of a relationship
06:18 can lead to a lot of beautiful personal growth
06:20 and self-discovery.
06:21 Are there any other signs that you know of
06:24 that could mean a breakup may be good for you?
06:26 Let us know in the comments below.