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Transcript

00:00:00 [MUSIC]

00:00:10 Come on, it's just a word.

00:00:14 You see it already.

00:00:16 All right, you got this.

00:00:17 [MUSIC]

00:00:21 I want your hot, throbbing.

00:00:24 [MUSIC]

00:00:28 Uh-uh, no, gross and painful.

00:00:32 Who would ask for hot, throbbing anything?

00:00:34 Throbbing is what happens to your finger when you slam it in the car door.

00:00:37 [COUGH] I want it now, your hot, throbbing.

00:00:43 [MUSIC]

00:00:47 Okay.

00:00:47 [LAUGH]

00:00:51 Give it to me.

00:00:52 And by it, I mean I want your hot, throbbing.

00:00:57 Nope, no, not at all convincing.

00:01:01 God, Luz, it's a word.

00:01:03 It's a word, just say it already.

00:01:05 All right.

00:01:07 [MUSIC]

00:01:11 I want your hot, throbbing.

00:01:17 For the love of God, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock.

00:01:23 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:01:30 My friend has this farm and there's this rooster.

00:01:34 Tell me my friend.

00:01:37 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:01:39 All right, well, that is a sentence that's just never gonna happen.

00:01:45 [MUSIC]

00:01:55 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:02:05 [MUSIC]

00:02:15 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:02:25 [MUSIC]

00:02:35 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:02:45 [MUSIC]

00:02:55 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:03:05 [MUSIC]

00:03:15 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:03:25 [MUSIC]

00:03:35 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:03:45 [MUSIC]

00:03:55 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:04:05 [MUSIC]

00:04:13 Wait, what's he doing with his hand?

00:04:15 That actually feels good.

00:04:17 So that was an accident.

00:04:18 [MUSIC]

00:04:25 >> Okay, we good?

00:04:26 >> Yeah.

00:04:27 >> Okay, guys.

00:04:28 >> Okay, sexy thoughts, a cabana on a hot tropical beach and

00:04:34 getting a massage, which suddenly turns into spontaneous unbridled sex.

00:04:41 With Steve Carell, but only like in his newer movies with silver hair.

00:04:45 >> Yes, yes, yes, we free waffles.

00:04:51 >> Shit, did I just say that out loud?

00:04:53 >> No.

00:04:54 >> Sorry, just a second.

00:04:56 >> That was what I forgot at the store, I couldn't remember all day.

00:05:01 No, no, no, no, it's good, my mind is completely free.

00:05:07 I'm ready now.

00:05:09 [MUSIC]

00:05:12 >> Yeah, I don't think you are.

00:05:15 [MUSIC]

00:05:26 >> We should get a ceiling fan.

00:05:27 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:05:29 >> Hey, what are you doing?

00:05:31 >> No, don't mess up my list.

00:05:33 >> Why?

00:05:34 It's not like you ever finish any of them.

00:05:36 >> That is not true.

00:05:37 And just because you're angry- >> Okay, look, most women during sex,

00:05:41 they say things like, I don't know, like yes, yes, give it to me good.

00:05:46 >> Who says that?

00:05:47 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:05:49 >> People.

00:05:50 >> People who you know?

00:05:52 You honestly want me to yell out, yes, yes, give it to me good.

00:05:55 >> Well, it would be better than wheat free waffles.

00:05:58 Why don't you just admit you're not into sex?

00:06:02 >> I'm so not not into sex.

00:06:04 >> You didn't even take off your pajamas.

00:06:07 >> Yeah, well, they're comfortable.

00:06:08 >> Comfortable.

00:06:10 >> What are you doing?

00:06:11 >> Are you kidding me?

00:06:12 I have work to do.

00:06:14 I'm on a deadline.

00:06:15 >> You work in the garage, all right?

00:06:17 Testing video games.

00:06:20 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:06:23 >> Don't judge me.

00:06:24 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:06:30 >> Sorry, Mr. Bach.

00:06:32 I need something with a little more spirit.

00:06:37 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:06:45 Where's my cord?

00:06:46 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:06:56 My God, he's a regular.

00:07:13 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:07:23 >> Yeah, don't stop.

00:07:24 >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, give it to me good.

00:07:29 >> My God, did she really just say that?

00:07:32 >> Yeah.

00:07:33 Thank you, sweetie.

00:07:36 >> I thought you were evolved.

00:07:39 We met at a film festival for God's sake.

00:07:41 >> What are you talking about?

00:07:43 >> What I'm talking about is that.

00:07:46 What is that?

00:07:48 >> I don't know, a girl?

00:07:50 >> No, I'm a girl.

00:07:52 That is a vixen.

00:07:53 >> Yeah, whatever.

00:07:55 >> Excuse me?

00:07:56 What, I'm not enough?

00:07:58 >> Look, okay, yeah, I'm sorry you're upset, but you kind of have this like,

00:08:03 irrational fear of intimacy or anything that can't be put on a list.

00:08:08 >> You are talking sensuality to me as you're sitting there hacking heads off?

00:08:13 Is this funny to you?

00:08:14 Really?

00:08:15 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:08:19 Since when are you a porn person?

00:08:21 >> Well, I'm a guy, so since always.

00:08:25 [BLANK_AUDIO]

00:08:29 See, that's bullshit.

00:08:30 I just got killed by crossfire again.

00:08:32 >> How are you being so nonchalant about this?

00:08:34 In this day and age when women are finally standing up to men who use sex as a tool of oppression.

00:08:39 >> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:08:41 I'm not oppressing anyone, okay?

00:08:44 They put it out there, guys pay for it, and girls, everyone's happy.

00:08:48 Have you ever watched a porn film?

00:08:52 >> I think I just saw plenty, and I hardly think that the word film applies,

00:08:56 not when it degrades the entire female species.

00:08:59 >> Yeah, see, I don't think so.

00:09:02 I think it's just a business.

00:09:04 >> Okay, I see.

00:09:06 So it's just a collection of highly skilled workers providing a service.

00:09:10 >> Yeah, exactly.

00:09:12 And the best are banking millions, and the rest are compensated really well for their artistry.

00:09:20 >> Artistry?

00:09:23 >> Yeah, I mean, yeah, yes.

00:09:26 It's kind of like you with your violin, right?

00:09:29 Is it so hard for you to understand that this is how some people express themselves?

00:09:35 >> What I can't believe is that you are attempting to draw a parallel between what I do and this.

00:09:42 >> That's because you're pornophobic.

00:09:45 >> That's not even a word.

00:09:46 >> You know, how uptight you are, it's kind of like your whole life problem.

00:09:51 No, even words are too much for you.

00:09:52 >> We're done.

00:09:53 >> Wait, no, we're not done.

00:09:55 Lucy, come here.

00:09:56 Jesus, come on.

00:09:58 Lucy, come here.

00:09:59 Hey, wait.

00:10:00 Just try saying something racy.

00:10:02 >> Like what?

00:10:03 >> Like, I don't know, like, use "hot throbbing cock" convincingly in a sentence.

00:10:09 >> Why would anyone do that?

00:10:10 >> And by the way, since when do we spy on each other?

00:10:12 I mean, spying, that's not cool.

00:10:14 >> I wasn't spying.

00:10:15 And I don't know who you are anymore.

00:10:17 >> Yeah, well, I don't know you worse.

00:10:21 >> Well, I'm not going to compete with all of that.

00:10:24 So you need to decide.

00:10:28 It's me or the porn.

00:10:32 Really?

00:10:33 That's what you consider an essential item?

00:10:36 >> He's autographed.

00:10:39 >> Come on, don't crease and don't break.

00:10:43 Secure me now.

00:10:45 [music]

00:10:57 >> I hope you get that stick out of your ass.

00:10:59 >> Why?

00:11:00 So you can use it on yourself?

00:11:07 Hi, Mr. Glassel.

00:11:08 Good morning.

00:11:09 >> It was.

00:11:17 >> Where are you?

00:11:18 You're late.

00:11:19 You're never late.

00:11:20 I'm worried.

00:11:21 Should I be worried?

00:11:22 [music]

00:11:30 >> I'm coming.

00:11:31 Sorry.

00:11:32 I'm on time.

00:11:33 I'm not late yet.

00:11:34 I'm on time.

00:11:35 I'm so sorry.

00:11:38 >> Where have you been?

00:11:39 The bride is about to start trotting up.

00:11:43 >> Bride and horse, what could go wrong?

00:11:46 >> Play.

00:12:15 >> Hello there, Mr. Best man.

00:12:17 >> That's my friend.

00:12:19 I think he's just a boon.

00:12:25 >> Matrimony.

00:12:28 The commemoration of an unshakable bond.

00:12:33 >> Oh, dear me.

00:12:35 >> Oh, my God.

00:12:37 >> Yeah, no, this wedding is awesome.

00:12:39 >> That could not have been the plan.

00:12:41 >> Oh, gosh.

00:12:43 >> Oh, my God.

00:12:45 >> It smells.

00:12:48 >> Pretend it's not there.

00:12:50 >> She's going to remember this day, isn't she?

00:12:53 >> Hey, hey.

00:12:54 You wanted the horse, okay.

00:12:56 >> Well, if she cancels, she still has to pay us, right?

00:12:59 >> Yes, especially because it was Grant who referred us for the job.

00:13:02 >> I'm sorry, I can't get over how he is so good looking and you never told me about him.

00:13:06 >> You don't date actual adults.

00:13:08 >> Kale, he's an adult.

00:13:10 >> He picks you up on a skateboard.

00:13:12 >> It's okay.

00:13:14 >> Why are you giving my dude such a hard time when this one over here, she's sleeping on Captain America sheets.

00:13:20 >> Lucy, are you all right?

00:13:21 Are you crying?

00:13:22 >> I was just kidding.

00:13:23 >> Yeah, it was just a joke about the sheets.

00:13:26 >> Jeff, bless me.

00:13:28 He moved out.

00:13:30 Are you okay?

00:13:32 >> I'm so sorry, Lucy.

00:13:33 That's terrible.

00:13:35 [ Music ]

00:13:42 >> Okay, now, we're going to get married now.

00:13:46 >> Oh, yes.

00:13:48 [ Music ]

00:13:56 >> I don't know.

00:13:57 It's all such a blur.

00:13:59 >> Actually, no.

00:14:00 It started while we were having sex.

00:14:01 >> Okay.

00:14:03 >> Is that why you guys fought?

00:14:05 >> I remembered an item off of my grocery list, so --

00:14:08 >> Oh, honey, how do you expect to survive marriage week after week, year after year, sex with the same person, in the same order for 27 years?

00:14:18 Well, until you find yourself one day dressing up for the guy who sprays for bugs.

00:14:22 Well, how do you expect to survive all that if you can't focus now?

00:14:26 >> I might have focus issues, but he is into porn.

00:14:30 All right?

00:14:31 It's disgusting.

00:14:32 He's got porn all over his computer.

00:14:33 He is totally --

00:14:34 >> A man?

00:14:36 >> All men look at dirty pictures, married or not.

00:14:38 It's how they maintain their vigor.

00:14:40 Right, Paul?

00:14:41 >> Well, it's --

00:14:42 >> Men start declining sexually by the age of 18.

00:14:44 Once they hit 30, it's a ski slope.

00:14:46 >> I beg your pardon.

00:14:48 >> Except for Paul, who is, I'm sure, a sexual wonder.

00:14:51 >> Didn't your girlfriend leave you for a woman, though?

00:14:53 >> Okay, easy.

00:14:54 >> Wait, does this mean you have porn?

00:14:56 >> Hmm?

00:14:57 >> And go to strip clubs?

00:14:58 >> No, I do not go to strip clubs.

00:14:59 >> Ever?

00:15:00 >> I have, but it's not like I do.

00:15:01 >> Do you use the Internet?

00:15:02 >> Define "use."

00:15:03 >> What about prostitutes?

00:15:04 >> No, not the ones who do it for crack.

00:15:05 I mean, like the ones who go to that thing in Vegas that I've seen on HBO.

00:15:08 >> Do you know what? I'm out.

00:15:09 >> I knew it.

00:15:10 >> Hello?

00:15:11 Ask me about sex.

00:15:13 I'm right here.

00:15:14 >> No, your enthusiasm is really unrelatable.

00:15:16 >> Oh, come on.

00:15:17 I got this whole library of clitorature.

00:15:19 You can just --

00:15:20 >> What?

00:15:21 >> Books you diddle to, babe.

00:15:24 >> Please, girl, tell me that you masturbate at least.

00:15:28 >> No, this is not about me.

00:15:30 All right?

00:15:31 This is about my boyfriend leaving because I think being a pervert is really inappropriate.

00:15:36 >> I also have blindfolds, handcuffs, vibrators.

00:15:44 Priscilla has them, too.

00:15:45 >> Well, the buzz buzz, not the rest of it.

00:15:47 >> You do?

00:15:48 >> It's called a personal massager.

00:15:49 I got it at Brookstone.

00:15:51 >> Really?

00:15:52 >> Oh.

00:15:53 >> Well, you have Stanley.

00:15:57 >> Vibrators are necessary, my dear, because life is short.

00:16:01 And explaining things to men is long.

00:16:26 >> Sex to-do list.

00:16:28 Number one, watch 25 porn films.

00:16:31 Number two, go to a sex store.

00:16:34 Number three, read clitorature.

00:16:37 Number four, visit strip club.

00:16:39 Number five, sex toy party.

00:16:41 Number six, sex seminar.

00:16:42 Number seven, test vibrators.

00:16:44 Number eight, Internet porn.

00:16:46 Use some.

00:16:47 Number nine, consult a sex expert.

00:16:49 Number ten, brothel.

00:16:50 Visit.

00:16:51 Number 11, meet a porn star.

00:16:53 Number 12, use hot, throbbing cock convincingly in a sentence.

00:16:58 >> There.

00:16:59 And I can even check the last one off right now.

00:17:10 For the love of God, cock!

00:17:13 Cock!

00:17:14 Cock!

00:17:15 Cock!

00:17:16 Cock!

00:17:17 I want your cock!

00:17:22 Cock!

00:17:41 God!

00:17:45 >> Whoa!

00:17:48 >> You got to go check out the ballroom, man.

00:17:50 The bridal party is twerking.

00:17:53 >> You kidding?

00:17:54 >> Uh-uh.

00:17:55 >> Oh, my God, are you serious?

00:18:03 >> Hello?

00:18:04 >> Why would you do this to me?

00:18:06 What, Jeff, I'm not enough for you?

00:18:09 >> Everything all right in there?

00:18:16 >> Coming in.

00:18:26 >> You all right, love?

00:18:27 You want me to get the doctor?

00:18:29 >> What?

00:18:30 What?

00:18:31 No.

00:18:32 Wait, because I'm on the floor?

00:18:33 No.

00:18:34 No.

00:18:35 No, no, no, I'm just medicating.

00:18:36 Tating.

00:18:37 Meditating.

00:18:39 >> I just heard crying or yelling.

00:18:42 >> Chanting.

00:18:43 >> Chanting?

00:18:44 >> Yeah.

00:18:45 >> Just coming to check to make sure everything's fine?

00:18:47 >> Yeah, no, I always just do like a little chant for the bride and groom before the first dance.

00:18:54 >> How do you mean?

00:18:57 >> Oh, you know, like a chant.

00:19:00 >> Yeah, no, I don't.

00:19:02 >> Yeah, just sort of close my eyes and go...

00:19:08 >> And go...

00:19:15 >> Chanting.

00:19:20 >> Which obviously means something.

00:19:22 >> Unity.

00:19:23 >> Yeah.

00:19:24 >> Yeah, it means unity in that they're now one.

00:19:28 And yet they're two.

00:19:31 So really it's about being strong enough to make one one out of two ones.

00:19:38 And yet still be two.

00:19:41 >> Yeah, makes sense.

00:19:43 Totally get it.

00:19:45 >> You do?

00:19:46 >> Yeah.

00:19:48 It's like a building.

00:19:51 It's only as strong as its weakest pillar.

00:19:53 >> Yeah, but is that true?

00:19:55 Because it seems to me that if you have enough pillars, like say you're the Acropolis,

00:19:59 I think that you could get away with one crappy pillar.

00:20:03 >> Sure.

00:20:04 Except for earthquakes, hurricanes, strong winds.

00:20:09 >> Aliens.

00:20:10 >> Well, we can't do much about that.

00:20:12 But you make a good point.

00:20:14 One in which I happen to believe in.

00:20:18 >> What point is that?

00:20:20 >> Well, you can't be useful in it too, until you figure yourself out as a one.

00:20:28 >> Cocktail?

00:20:30 >> Fine, thanks.

00:20:32 >> Well, here's to me.

00:20:34 That was brilliant.

00:20:35 But you're right.

00:20:36 No time for cocktails.

00:20:38 The two ones must waltz.

00:20:41 So this one one must play.

00:20:45 Okay.

00:20:52 >> Hey, don't you need this?

00:20:56 >> Oh, yeah, do you have the waltz too?

00:20:59 >> Sometimes.

00:21:21 >> All men look at dirty pictures.

00:21:23 >> Oh, Jeff, don't.

00:21:26 >> Yes, yes.

00:21:27 >> Give it to me.

00:21:28 >> You're a pornophobic.

00:21:30 >> I cannot drink her blood.

00:21:32 She's pornophobic.

00:21:34 >> Mind it enough.

00:21:35 >> Looks like she's suffering from stage four pornophobia.

00:21:38 >> Say something, Grace.

00:21:41 >> The word.

00:21:42 Just say it already.

00:21:43 >> Pornophobic.

00:21:45 >> Jeff, listen to me.

00:21:46 >> Pornophobic.

00:21:48 >> Today we gather here to remember Lucy Nell who died alone from pornophobia.

00:21:55 She died in the house she inherited from her grandmother.

00:21:59 But she was only able to fill with unfinished lists, not love.

00:22:04 >> You're pornophobic!

00:22:32 >> Sexpressions of lust, please.

00:22:41 >> Madam Mischief's Boudoir Secrets.

00:22:44 Maybe it's a historical fiction.

00:22:46 And who doesn't like secrets?

00:22:49 Better get one more for backup.

00:22:53 >> Bad Sally.

00:22:55 >> That can't be right.

00:23:24 >> Oh, God.

00:23:50 >> Faelene springs from the house as Michelle passionately gives chase.

00:23:54 Running for her life, Michelle grabs Faelene's wrist and twirls her until her back slams into an erect pillar.

00:24:02 He can almost taste her ruby lips, but Faelene thrusts her knee into Michelle and spins him around.

00:24:09 Seizing the moment, Faelene pulls out a hidden pistol sheathed on her thigh and pulls it up to his chin.

00:24:16 And then stops.

00:24:25 Michelle takes one strong finger and slowly drags the pistol downwards.

00:24:29 Faelene watches in wonder as the cold seal surrenders to its final destination, Michelle's manhood.

00:24:37 Michelle walks his finger across the barrel and cocks the gun.

00:24:41 Faelene knows what she wants and she decides to take it.

00:24:55 [ Music ]

00:25:12 >> Salt shaker's done.

00:25:13 I can check that off my list.

00:25:26 >> Hello.

00:25:27 >> We have chocolate, mimosas, tissues, sympathy.

00:25:32 >> Thank you.

00:25:33 >> Why do you look so good?

00:25:34 >> Where did you get those jeans?

00:25:35 >> No reason.

00:25:36 Nowhere.

00:25:37 And pity's not what I called.

00:25:38 >> I told you we need one, Harry Met Sally.

00:25:40 >> You do chocolates.

00:25:41 I'm on cocktails.

00:25:42 >> No, really.

00:25:43 >> I'm fine.

00:25:44 I am.

00:25:45 For I have renewed life purpose in the form of a research project with which I need your help.

00:25:50 >> She said research.

00:25:51 She calls me a researcher.

00:25:52 >> Honey, you're losing it.

00:25:55 >> We're doing number two and the train is leaving in one minute.

00:26:01 Guys, do you think I'm going to need this?

00:26:05 >> Best breakup ever.

00:26:07 >> Oh, God.

00:26:09 >> I'm so nervous.

00:26:19 >> This is your Nissan leaf.

00:26:21 This is your Mercedes C class.

00:26:24 And this is the Maserati of vibrators.

00:26:35 >> Oh, sold.

00:26:43 >> I'll take my chances.

00:26:52 >> Hey, loose, I found something for you.

00:26:56 He doesn't say irritating things.

00:26:58 He's a feminist.

00:26:59 Doesn't watch football or fart.

00:27:01 >> None of them do it first.

00:27:12 >> Can I help you with that cock ring?

00:27:16 >> No.

00:27:17 No, I got this.

00:27:18 I was just checking.

00:27:29 >> Everything all right over there?

00:27:31 >> Sorry.

00:27:34 Looking for a Mother's Day gift.

00:27:39 >> Oh.

00:27:40 I was wondering what a nice girl like you was doing in a place like this.

00:27:43 >> I could ask you the same thing.

00:27:46 >> Go ahead.

00:27:50 >> What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

00:27:59 >> Oh.

00:28:00 >> Busy day out there.

00:28:01 >> Oh.

00:28:02 >> It's amazing you have the time with all the violin playing and the tuning.

00:28:07 >> Of course you remember me.

00:28:09 >> It's not every day I run into a beautiful girl with such a propensity for crouching.

00:28:15 >> Did you actually just use the word propensity?

00:28:20 >> Oh, hey.

00:28:22 Dr. Dispopi.

00:28:25 And breakfast is ready.

00:28:28 And the dishes are done.

00:28:31 >> Hey.

00:28:32 You're the best man from the wedding with the pooping horse?

00:28:35 >> Oh, yeah.

00:28:36 I was just a groomsman.

00:28:38 >> Oh, well, I'm Nessa.

00:28:40 I was a part of the quartet.

00:28:41 >> Oh, yeah.

00:28:42 You guys were great.

00:28:43 >> Thank you.

00:28:44 >> I play the cello.

00:28:46 Yeah, you know the big one between your legs?

00:28:49 Lucy over here, she plays the violin.

00:28:52 >> Sounds like Lucy, is it?

00:28:54 >> So fancy meeting you here.

00:28:57 What are you doing?

00:28:59 >> Oh, yeah.

00:29:00 Good question.

00:29:01 I'm looking for a mother's day gift.

00:29:03 >> Oh, really?

00:29:05 Me, too.

00:29:06 I mean, I would never be here for myself.

00:29:11 Or would I?

00:29:14 >> I'm actually an architect.

00:29:17 Paul Goodwin works at my firm.

00:29:19 >> Right.

00:29:20 Yeah, I vaguely remember him mentioning something like that.

00:29:24 >> I'm working on a job.

00:29:26 Upstairs to reconfigure the office space.

00:29:28 Not nearly as interesting as what's going on on that list.

00:29:30 >> Oh, no.

00:29:31 This is purely a research project.

00:29:35 Honestly, I can't help it.

00:29:36 I went to Harvard.

00:29:37 So I'm researchy.

00:29:40 >> Actually, that's where I met Paul.

00:29:42 >> Really?

00:29:43 You're using the H-bomb on the best man?

00:29:45 >> I just can't.

00:29:46 I'm going to go talk to Priscilla.

00:29:47 >> And what the hell is up with your lips, girl?

00:29:52 >> I'm great.

00:29:54 Who works here?

00:29:56 Did I hear you say you work here?

00:29:59 >> Why, yes, he does.

00:30:03 >> So does she.

00:30:05 I just want to find out if this works.

00:30:08 >> Actually, sir, I am very familiar with this product.

00:30:12 It's one of my favorites.

00:30:14 In fact, I've got it on right now.

00:30:17 >> What do you mean you're wearing it now?

00:30:19 On what?

00:30:21 >> On my lips.

00:30:22 >> You put it on your lips?

00:30:24 >> Luce, I don't think you put erection cream on your lips.

00:30:29 >> Oh, my God.

00:30:32 Oh.

00:30:34 Excuse me.

00:30:35 Do these come in extra large?

00:30:42 >> Got you some ice from the cafe.

00:30:45 >> Thanks.

00:30:48 >> I thought your lips looked a little...

00:30:54 You got a chance for this sort of thing?

00:31:02 Can I have your number?

00:31:04 >> You want my number?

00:31:05 >> Yeah.

00:31:08 >> Wait, really?

00:31:10 >> I have a gig you might be interested in playing.

00:31:13 >> That's awesome.

00:31:15 >> I'll wait out here.

00:31:23 >> Bye.

00:31:24 >> Bye.

00:31:34 >> So his dad co-chairs this annual entrance commissioner's dinner and he wants you and me to walk around and do the wandering minstrel thing.

00:31:49 >> The wedding and now this?

00:31:51 >> Yeah.

00:31:54 >> I don't know.

00:31:55 But you did make it a point to tell him that your legs are pretty occupied while you play.

00:31:59 >> Will he be there?

00:32:00 >> He didn't say.

00:32:02 >> So with the exception of the H-bomb incident and putting erection cream on your lips, I'd say this was very successful.

00:32:08 You had a nice conversation with a handsome man.

00:32:10 We got a gig out of nowhere.

00:32:12 And you got burnt.

00:32:17 [ Laughter ]

00:32:32 [ Music ]

00:33:01 >> I'm going to go get a drink.

00:33:16 >> You know, after one week of being broken up with Jeff, after four years of dating, and I cannot believe how great I feel.

00:33:24 >> Well, what I can't believe is that we're actually doing this.

00:33:27 >> All right, Jersey, how we doing?

00:33:30 >> All six of you.

00:33:32 >> All right, first things first.

00:33:33 I'm going to go grab us some drinks.

00:33:34 >> All right.

00:33:35 Now for the sexiest identical twins with the hottest dance moves.

00:33:39 Everybody give it up for Cherry and Dallas!

00:33:51 >> Hey, Wes, can I drop you for two beers, mate?

00:33:53 >> Could you pretend you don't know me?

00:33:54 >> Brilliant.

00:33:56 >> Did he say Cherry and Dallas?

00:33:58 >> No, this is not what I expected.

00:34:00 >> Why?

00:34:01 >> You afraid I'm going to wake them off?

00:34:03 >> Oh, come on, they're performers and you're talking over them.

00:34:06 Don't be rude.

00:34:07 It's disrespectful.

00:34:08 >> I'm just saying.

00:34:09 >> Hi, Cynthia, loving the hair, huh?

00:34:11 How are you doing tonight?

00:34:12 >> Hi, thank you.

00:34:13 Oh, it's a little cold in here.

00:34:14 Could I spend some--

00:34:15 >> Actually, we're totally fine.

00:34:16 Why don't you keep the change?

00:34:17 But you know what?

00:34:18 Throw that in there for good measure.

00:34:19 Don't embarrass me.

00:34:20 >> Embarrassment's the least of your problems.

00:34:22 >> Okay, I'm going to level with you.

00:34:24 It's not cold in here.

00:34:25 It's optimal.

00:34:26 Get with the program.

00:34:29 Where are you going?

00:34:31 >> Getting with the program.

00:34:32 >> Don't do that.

00:34:33 >> Oh, come back, please.

00:34:36 >> Hi.

00:34:37 Your wife didn't send me here to spy on you, I promise.

00:34:40 Don't worry.

00:34:41 [rock music]

00:34:48 >> I wonder how these girls stay in such good shape.

00:34:53 >> Quick question for you.

00:34:54 Do you do Pilates or--

00:34:57 Oh, wow.

00:35:00 >> Oh, nice glutes.

00:35:03 >> Thank you so much.

00:35:06 >> Like that, doll.

00:35:08 [rock music]

00:35:16 >> Where my doll's at?

00:35:17 >> Wait a second.

00:35:18 She is totally thinking about her shopping list.

00:35:22 [rock music]

00:35:26 >> Whoo!

00:35:28 [rock music]

00:35:34 >> Watch your back.

00:35:36 [rock music]

00:35:49 >> Whoo!

00:35:52 [rock music]

00:35:56 >> Like that, doll.

00:35:57 >> Oh.

00:35:58 [rock music]

00:36:10 >> I'm just going to--

00:36:13 >> She's trying to take my money.

00:36:14 >> No, I can't make change.

00:36:16 >> No, you did not.

00:36:18 >> I'm just thinking.

00:36:19 >> As pleasing as her vagina thrusts were, it was not a $20 kind of happy--

00:36:23 >> Welcome to the pleasure palace party.

00:36:25 We got the dildos, we got the vibrators.

00:36:28 So look around, don't be shy.

00:36:31 If you want to get to the top of the mountain, you got to go equipped.

00:36:36 >> Oh.

00:36:38 >> I did learn one very important thing at the strip club.

00:36:41 If you're naked enough, it doesn't matter if you can actually dance.

00:36:45 Oh, I know what these are.

00:36:47 People use these for meditating.

00:36:49 >> No, those are Benoit balls.

00:36:52 Fifty shades, book two.

00:36:54 >> Ben who?

00:36:56 >> You take two of those, you stick them up your lady,

00:36:59 and just hold them for a couple of hours, okay?

00:37:04 >> Wait, what?

00:37:05 >> Those are for Kilo exercises.

00:37:08 You could do them in the car.

00:37:10 Shit, I'm doing them right now.

00:37:12 >> Experience intense natural pleasure

00:37:14 as each weighted ball rolls and moves with you

00:37:17 to give you a mind-blowing internal massage.

00:37:21 >> Now you're going to sculpt a banana into a penis with your teeth.

00:37:28 [music]

00:37:35 >> Well, I'll never look at a banana the same way again.

00:37:38 And neither will Paul.

00:37:40 Sex toy party, check.

00:37:43 [laughter]

00:37:47 [music]

00:38:04 >> Wait, why'd you stop?

00:38:05 >> Uh-huh.

00:38:06 Nothing, nothing.

00:38:08 I think I just--I really need to go to the bathroom.

00:38:12 >> Oh my, well go, it's right down there.

00:38:16 >> I don't think I can make it that far.

00:38:20 Oh God, it's going to come out.

00:38:22 >> What is?

00:38:27 >> Not a word, not a word.

00:38:30 Uh-uh.

00:38:33 Okay.

00:38:35 Oh, oh, I don't think I can bend over.

00:38:37 >> Because there's a second one?

00:38:39 >> Three.

00:38:40 >> Three more? I bought two boxes.

00:38:43 >> I see.

00:38:45 >> For Kegels.

00:38:46 >> Oh, say no more.

00:38:50 >> I need you to pick it up.

00:38:51 >> You know, I didn't think there were limits to our friendship.

00:38:53 I realize it's just not true.

00:38:55 >> Oh, this is not funny.

00:38:56 It's not funny, okay?

00:38:57 I only wore these to a work function because I knew we'd be standing for three hours.

00:39:02 And, you know, I wanted to tone.

00:39:05 [laughter]

00:39:07 Stop, stop.

00:39:09 >> If you make me laugh, another bowl will pop out.

00:39:11 >> Oh, God, I hope so.

00:39:13 >> I need help here, please.

00:39:14 >> Okay, okay, let's go.

00:39:19 >> What was that?

00:39:20 >> I don't know.

00:39:21 When I walk, my legs just sort of rub together and I'm already so -- oh, my God.

00:39:26 I might --

00:39:27 >> Hallelujah?

00:39:28 >> Yeah.

00:39:29 >> Okay, well, we're going to have to risk it.

00:39:30 >> Lucy, if you do this while holding my hand, this friendship will never be the same.

00:39:33 >> You look like you're having a good night.

00:39:35 >> Some of us more than others.

00:39:37 >> Hi, what are you doing here?

00:39:39 >> Oh, same with that.

00:39:40 He's on the board with the trust.

00:39:43 It's irrelevant.

00:39:44 Now I'm seeing you.

00:39:45 >> Have you met Priscilla, leader of our quartet, my dear friend who always comes to my rescue?

00:39:52 >> Oh, yeah.

00:39:53 Need a lot of that?

00:39:54 >> No, not at all.

00:39:55 But, you know, even still, she's just always waiting for the other ball to drop.

00:39:58 I mean, shoe.

00:40:00 >> Oh.

00:40:02 Is it hot in here?

00:40:04 >> Yeah, it is.

00:40:06 I see someone that I -- I don't see anyone.

00:40:10 Just getting out of the way.

00:40:15 >> You tired?

00:40:16 >> Am I tired?

00:40:17 >> Yeah, you seem a bit out of breath.

00:40:19 >> No, I just sort of get that way when I play.

00:40:24 >> Oh, I get it.

00:40:25 You're amazing.

00:40:28 >> Sweet Jesus.

00:40:30 >> What was that?

00:40:32 >> No, my back just gets that way when I stand and play.

00:40:37 >> All right.

00:40:40 You cold?

00:40:41 >> Mm-hmm.

00:40:42 Yeah.

00:40:43 >> Oh, let's get you moving.

00:40:44 >> Oh.

00:40:45 >> Come on.

00:40:46 >> Mm-hmm.

00:40:52 >> You okay?

00:40:53 >> Yeah.

00:40:54 Yeah, just warming up a little.

00:41:00 >> I don't know.

00:41:02 Your lips look beautifully deflated this evening.

00:41:05 >> Oh.

00:41:06 >> Women don't usually find me funny.

00:41:09 >> That's my pleasure.

00:41:11 Truly.

00:41:12 Oh.

00:41:13 Oh.

00:41:14 >> Oh.

00:41:15 What was that?

00:41:16 >> What was what?

00:41:17 >> Something just hit my foot.

00:41:19 >> Is that a bird?

00:41:21 >> There's a bird?

00:41:22 >> No.

00:41:23 No.

00:41:24 Sorry, my mistake.

00:41:25 Weird.

00:41:26 >> Anyway.

00:41:27 >> Mm-hmm.

00:41:28 >> I was thinking.

00:41:30 >> Yeah?

00:41:31 >> You're not too busy.

00:41:33 >> Never.

00:41:34 >> Or too hot.

00:41:35 >> Mm-hmm.

00:41:36 >> Would you like to have dinner with me?

00:41:38 >> Dear God, yes!

00:41:39 >> Y'a un oiseau a l'interieur.

00:41:44 >> So you called me up out of the blue to ask me how good you were in bed.

00:41:51 >> Mm-hmm.

00:41:52 Out of a percentage of 100.

00:41:53 But if you must, I will accept a letter grade.

00:41:57 >> Did you meet someone?

00:42:01 >> What?

00:42:02 No.

00:42:03 No.

00:42:04 I was just wondering.

00:42:05 >> You did.

00:42:06 You're seeing someone.

00:42:08 >> Yeah, I am.

00:42:10 I'm sorry.

00:42:11 It's very new.

00:42:12 >> No, no, no.

00:42:13 I'm relieved, okay?

00:42:14 Because I'm -- I'm also seeing someone else, too.

00:42:19 >> You are?

00:42:20 >> Yeah.

00:42:21 >> Wow.

00:42:22 Halloween.

00:42:27 Right after we broke up.

00:42:28 Oh, is that how she dresses all the time?

00:42:31 >> It's funny.

00:42:33 I miss your sense of humor.

00:42:36 >> Is that -- I'm sorry.

00:42:37 Is that bad for me to say that I miss something about you?

00:42:43 >> So how are the -- how's your list coming?

00:42:46 >> Oh, very well, thank you.

00:42:48 Yeah, after the porn thing, I'm going to go to the movies.

00:42:51 >> Yeah, after the porn thing, I made a list that's all about sex.

00:42:55 And I recently went to both a porn shop and a strip club.

00:43:01 >> [ Laughs ]

00:43:03 >> What?

00:43:04 >> No, you're hilarious.

00:43:07 You see, this -- you, us being friends, this rocks.

00:43:12 >> Yeah, it's great.

00:43:14 But sex with me.

00:43:16 How was it?

00:43:18 >> Oh, right.

00:43:22 It was fine.

00:43:23 >> Jeff, literally choose any letter.

00:43:26 >> Okay, geez.

00:43:28 Like A through F, right?

00:43:30 >> Yes.

00:43:31 >> Okay.

00:43:33 You are --

00:43:40 >> D.

00:43:42 It's in room D.

00:43:43 >> Are you sure?

00:43:44 It doesn't say sex seminar.

00:43:45 >> They're not going to call it that.

00:43:47 It's this one.

00:43:48 It has to be.

00:43:49 >> Okay.

00:43:54 >> Proficiency in sex is a must.

00:43:58 It is the universal language of humanity.

00:44:05 Your tardy.

00:44:06 Take a seat.

00:44:07 >> Did you invite her?

00:44:08 >> No.

00:44:10 What could she have to learn?

00:44:13 >> To walk around speaking slang is to be ignorant.

00:44:17 >> What are you doing here?

00:44:19 >> I just came here to do research for you.

00:44:21 >> The number one miscommunication slang speakers make is to think of it as a male-centric activity.

00:44:28 That is, they think about when men intercourse with women that it's all about the guy.

00:44:33 Wrong!

00:44:34 Wrong!

00:44:35 Wrong!

00:44:36 >> From this moment on, you will refer to sexual communication as the gift that you will give to only a worthy man.

00:44:44 From you, the soon to be supremely empowered woman!

00:44:59 >> Oh!

00:45:00 >> You are tense.

00:45:02 >> Yeah, I don't think smacking it like that is part of the technique.

00:45:05 >> Kayle, he left me for someone his own age, so I just -- I can't deal with men right now.

00:45:11 >> Oh, Nessa, I'm so sorry.

00:45:13 Here.

00:45:15 I'm going to help you.

00:45:17 Okay?

00:45:19 >> It's like we're in "Ghost."

00:45:21 And you're my Patrick Swayze.

00:45:23 >> Oh, of course you would get to be to me more.

00:45:26 >> It takes a village.

00:45:37 [music]

00:45:56 >> Okay, so five weeks until my audition for the Philharmonic.

00:45:59 I'm not getting any better, am I?

00:46:03 >> No, you're really not.

00:46:05 >> What?

00:46:06 >> Because you're already a genius.

00:46:08 >> Well, it's true, and you know it.

00:46:10 You just got to get out of there.

00:46:16 >> Did you know that the female ferret will die if she goes into heat and can't find a mate?

00:46:21 >> Jeff was the rodent, not you.

00:46:24 >> What about the best man?

00:46:25 >> Groomsman.

00:46:26 >> Hasn't he called?

00:46:27 You know, we really should ask Paul what his story is.

00:46:29 >> No, no, he did.

00:46:31 We're going out on Saturday.

00:46:33 >> You are?

00:46:34 >> Oh.

00:46:35 >> That's wonderful!

00:46:36 >> Okay.

00:46:37 >> You're at a ten.

00:46:38 >> Well, what are your plans?

00:46:40 I mean, you could do a dinner cruise.

00:46:42 Oh, a hot air balloon.

00:46:44 >> What is with you today?

00:46:46 >> Nothing, I'm just happy for you.

00:46:48 >> Oh.

00:46:50 What are those?

00:46:51 >> Stan got me diamonds.

00:46:52 >> Oh, my God.

00:46:54 Was it the seminar?

00:46:55 >> I have a sex life again.

00:46:57 After 27 years, Stan and I are doing it like high school kids on prom night.

00:47:01 >> Oh, so meaning it's over in five minutes and you get nothing out of it.

00:47:05 >> Except a bad reputation.

00:47:07 >> All right, anyway, enough about me.

00:47:09 Why aren't you thrilled about the best man?

00:47:11 >> I am.

00:47:12 I...

00:47:14 Don't you think he's a little bit out of my league?

00:47:16 >> I'm not even going to dignify that question.

00:47:18 You're just afraid to get back on the horse.

00:47:20 Lucy, it's like riding a bike.

00:47:22 Or maybe a pogo stick.

00:47:26 >> I'm just freaking out because in my effort to be supremely empowered, I insisted on planning the date.

00:47:32 And I've got nothing.

00:47:34 >> Oh.

00:47:36 Well, if you're interested, Stan got us two tickets to the Dr. Becker taping on Saturday night.

00:47:42 VIP seats.

00:47:43 >> Which is?

00:47:44 >> She's a sex expert.

00:47:46 I showed Stan the list.

00:47:48 He got very inspired.

00:47:50 Anyway, if I promise to make it worth his while, I'm sure I can get him to stay at home.

00:47:55 >> Okay.

00:47:57 If I promise to take the tickets, do you promise to never talk about you and Stan sexually communicating ever again?

00:48:04 >> Deal.

00:48:05 >> Okay.

00:48:06 >> Can I just tell you one thing?

00:48:07 >> Oh, right. Yes.

00:48:08 >> I'm going to get my labia tightened.

00:48:10 [laughing]

00:48:12 [music]

00:48:18 >> What do you think about oysters, Judas?

00:48:20 >> Aren't oysters more of a third date kind of food?

00:48:25 >> Yes.

00:48:26 Good point.

00:48:27 I mean, it's not like you're taking me to a sex show.

00:48:30 >> Lecture by a progressive, world-renowned researcher who went to Yale, which is definitely not Harvard.

00:48:38 But she happens to be discussing human sexuality.

00:48:41 >> I know.

00:48:42 I know.

00:48:43 Consultant experts on your list.

00:48:44 I'm messing with you.

00:48:46 And just because we're going to a lecture like this doesn't make me a sure thing, you know.

00:48:52 >> Me neither.

00:48:54 >> Good.

00:48:55 Wouldn't want you getting the wrong idea.

00:48:59 >> And what idea might that be?

00:49:01 >> I don't know.

00:49:02 I just wouldn't want you misinterpreting my list because I'm really not that kind of girl.

00:49:11 >> And what kind of girl are you?

00:49:14 >> That's for me to know and for you to wonder.

00:49:21 Okay.

00:49:22 Well, now I'm going to ask you a bunch of things so I can make a meaningful snap judgment about you without being distracted by all your charming, attractive you-ness.

00:49:31 >> Is this where you asked me for my tax return because I didn't bring it?

00:49:35 >> Uh, no.

00:49:38 Just going to ask you what your favorite book was.

00:49:40 >> Um, sorry.

00:49:42 My last girlfriend did that on the first date.

00:49:44 >> And you still ended up dating her?

00:49:48 Oh.

00:49:50 All right.

00:49:51 Yeah, your last girlfriend must have been a supermodel.

00:49:53 >> She was a model, yes, but super?

00:49:55 No, definitely not.

00:49:56 And she's certainly not Harvard material.

00:49:58 >> Ah, well.

00:50:00 As an artist, I do not require financial documentation.

00:50:04 Being well kept doesn't really apply to me.

00:50:06 >> And yet you seem to be kept very well.

00:50:11 >> That is corny.

00:50:14 Let's do the books.

00:50:16 I have two.

00:50:17 >> I also have two favorites.

00:50:18 >> Ladies first.

00:50:19 >> Nope.

00:50:20 >> Hmm?

00:50:21 >> Nope, I asked you first.

00:50:22 >> Revealing book love is a very personal thing.

00:50:24 >> I know.

00:50:25 That's why it's my stock first date question.

00:50:29 It's going to tell me everything I need to know about you.

00:50:32 >> You sure you want to know?

00:50:35 >> Yeah, you're right.

00:50:37 Could be the end of something good before it even starts.

00:50:40 Could be the start of something good that doesn't end.

00:50:44 What the hell's in this drink?

00:50:47 >> Okay.

00:50:49 All right.

00:50:50 Let's just state our books.

00:50:52 >> Yep.

00:50:53 >> And let's get this ship to sinking, okay?

00:50:54 >> Please.

00:50:55 >> All right.

00:50:56 >> Yeah, same time, count of three?

00:50:57 >> Yes.

00:50:58 All right.

00:50:59 Okay.

00:51:00 One, two, three.

00:51:01 Everything that rises must converge and story of your life.

00:51:04 >> Story of your life and everything that rises must converge.

00:51:07 >> Well, you like them in the wrong order.

00:51:09 >> Yep.

00:51:10 It's definitely not going to work.

00:51:22 >> This is the Dr. Becker show?

00:51:24 >> Yeah.

00:51:25 >> Hi, welcome.

00:51:26 >> Hi.

00:51:27 Oh, will Dr. Becker be out soon?

00:51:32 >> That is Dr. Becker.

00:51:33 >> All right.

00:51:34 Let's get everybody in their seats now.

00:51:35 >> Wait.

00:51:36 She's a magna cum laude Yale Ph.D.?

00:51:38 >> Follow me.

00:51:39 >> All right, ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

00:51:40 The show is about to start.

00:51:41 Dr. Becker, you're on in three, two --

00:51:42 >> Okay.

00:51:43 I'm so sorry.

00:51:44 I had no idea --

00:51:45 >> This is the most interesting day I'll ever go on my entire life.

00:52:00 >> Welcome.

00:52:01 Tonight's guest is both a true pleasure to have and a departure from my usual science

00:52:08 based approach to sexual enlightenment.

00:52:10 >> Science is nothing like this where I went to school.

00:52:14 >> Really?

00:52:15 I thought boarding schools were no sexual --

00:52:17 >> Please help me welcome Madame Swarczka, world renowned sexual psychic.

00:52:22 >> Someone who can do the pull and pull method of birth control?

00:52:29 >> Oh, you started.

00:52:31 Okay, I'm leaving.

00:52:33 >> That's one.

00:52:34 She suffers.

00:52:35 >> Oh?

00:52:36 >> Madame Swarczka, can you explain to our audience what it is that you're doing?

00:52:43 >> In me.

00:52:44 That would be nice.

00:52:45 >> I am assessing the aura.

00:52:46 Seeing what colors surround her.

00:52:47 >> Sounds lovely.

00:52:48 Thank you.

00:52:49 >> For most people, yes.

00:52:50 For you, no.

00:52:51 For you, it's gray.

00:52:52 >> Gray?

00:52:53 Are you sure?

00:52:54 >> Yes.

00:52:55 >> Okay.

00:52:56 >> I'm going to ask you to sit down.

00:52:57 >> Okay.

00:52:58 >> I'm going to ask you to sit down.

00:52:59 >> Okay.

00:53:00 >> I'm going to ask you to sit down.

00:53:01 >> Okay.

00:53:02 >> I'm going to ask you to sit down.

00:53:03 >> Okay.

00:53:04 >> I'm going to ask you to sit down.

00:53:05 >> Okay.

00:53:06 >> Are you saying that she's sexually --

00:53:07 >> Gray.

00:53:08 Yes.

00:53:09 >> Well, lucky for me, neutrals are in for fall.

00:53:12 You know, we can go like five minutes ago.

00:53:15 >> This is awesome.

00:53:16 This is great.

00:53:17 >> How about we get you on stage, Miss --

00:53:20 >> Lulu Bell.

00:53:23 >> Well, come on up here, Lulu Bell.

00:53:27 So Madame Swarczka can reach you.

00:53:30 You're safe.

00:53:32 >> Yes.

00:53:35 The gray one is in deep struggle with the sex.

00:53:40 >> I often discuss a condition called sexual attention deficit disorder, SADD.

00:53:46 SADD for short.

00:53:48 Which involves frequent mental wanderings of a non-sexual nature during intercourse.

00:53:54 >> Might that be --

00:53:55 >> Yes, but also --

00:53:57 >> Lick of sex.

00:53:59 >> Yes.

00:54:00 But also lick of experience.

00:54:04 >> Oh, trust me.

00:54:06 I have plenty of experience.

00:54:13 >> The cards say no.

00:54:15 >> I assure you, I know what I'm doing.

00:54:18 >> The cards say no.

00:54:22 >> Oh, I see.

00:54:24 You are very old when you are first having sex.

00:54:28 >> Surely you mean old enough.

00:54:30 >> No, I mean old.

00:54:34 Oh, old is why you are only having the sex with four people?

00:54:38 Is that true?

00:54:40 >> Oh, no.

00:54:42 >> No?

00:54:43 >> Yeah, but what's wrong with that?

00:54:45 >> Oh, one does not count.

00:54:48 It ends up, how you say, prematurely.

00:54:59 >> Oh, that one looks promising.

00:55:01 >> Yeah, one is right side up, yes, but for you it's reverse.

00:55:05 >> Oh.

00:55:08 >> Great one.

00:55:09 >> Yeah?

00:55:10 >> You're not having the big booms?

00:55:12 >> What?

00:55:15 >> Big booms.

00:55:18 The rolling thunder, the magic, you know, like, oh, yeah, baby, I love it.

00:55:25 You know, like, whoa, Nelly, gets really crazy, that kind of sex, like, oh, like magic time, like,

00:55:32 magic, blast it off, blast up inside, you know, like, can't handle it anymore, like, whoa, this type of thing.

00:55:41 >> What do you call it?

00:55:43 >> She sees that you don't orgasm.

00:55:46 >> I got it.

00:55:47 Thanks.

00:55:48 >> Oh, but you're giving booms to yourself sometimes.

00:55:51 That's good.

00:55:52 That's okay.

00:55:53 That's something, huh?

00:55:58 You keep that going, okay?

00:56:01 Now I'm going to see about the one you come here with, this guy over here.

00:56:05 Okay, now.

00:56:12 This is really lucky.

00:56:14 The devil card in reverse is representing, like, breaking freedom from restraint.

00:56:19 This guy is going to give you the big booms.

00:56:24 Yes.

00:56:27 Isn't it amazing how accurate the madam is?

00:56:36 >> What a difference a day makes.

00:56:44 >> Well, thank you again for a revealing night.

00:56:49 >> Once again, she was so not right about anything she said.

00:56:54 >> She's crazy.

00:56:57 She said I rocked you well when we barely even know each other, let alone have had sex.

00:57:00 >> Right?

00:57:01 I know.

00:57:02 What was she even saying?

00:57:03 That just me being close to you, I get, like, all -- I don't know.

00:57:08 Sorry, no.

00:57:09 Look how in control I am around you.

00:57:15 Anyway, yeah, she was wrong.

00:57:17 She was crazy wrong.

00:57:19 Who knows?

00:57:24 >> Anyway, twice again, for the official record, I had absolutely no idea about tonight, and I am so, so, so sorry.

00:57:33 I'm really sorry.

00:57:35 >> I'm not.

00:57:44 >> Good night.

00:57:45 >> Yeah.

00:57:47 >> I swear you're going to get me fired.

00:57:49 Or even worse, assigned to awful jobs.

00:57:52 Grant's a pretty big deal at the firm, you know.

00:57:54 >> And you're a big deal to us, Paul, but this isn't about you.

00:57:57 >> Yet.

00:57:59 >> The psychic didn't say anything positive?

00:58:01 >> He just said I wouldn't end up alone.

00:58:03 >> Well, that could just mean she thinks you'll get a cat.

00:58:06 What?

00:58:07 Okay.

00:58:08 Let me paint a picture for you.

00:58:09 If Grant is the devil and not even he can get lucky with her, then perhaps poor Luce is destined to end up with a litter of cats.

00:58:18 But seriously, let's get back on point.

00:58:20 How did you two leave things?

00:58:21 Am I going to have to avoid him at the office?

00:58:23 >> Can't hear you.

00:58:24 I'm shopping.

00:58:26 >> Luce, quick question.

00:58:28 Isn't this the section for girls who do get cats?

00:58:31 >> Hey, just so you know, he said he was going to call this weekend to make plans, and no, I'm in the right section.

00:58:36 >> Guys, I have to tell you something.

00:58:39 >> Good God, you're not pregnant.

00:58:41 How?

00:58:42 >> What?

00:58:43 No.

00:58:44 The question would be who, since I can't even seem to get a guy past the front porch.

00:58:47 >> You know those jeans that make my ass look like a sorority girl's?

00:58:53 Here?

00:58:55 We're going to the women's section.

00:58:56 >> No, not the women's.

00:58:57 >> Men's?

00:58:58 That's brilliant.

00:58:59 >> Right here.

00:59:00 In maternity.

00:59:02 >> Look, they have this stretchy stuff that goes over the stomach.

00:59:07 Just kind of smooths everything out.

00:59:13 I know you think I'm pathetic.

00:59:15 >> No, no, I'm just trying to figure out my size in the women's.

00:59:18 [Music]

00:59:34 >> Who knew strings could accompany threesome type sex so well?

00:59:37 >> I say we rehearse like this all the time.

00:59:39 >> I'm so surprised you're still doing the list.

00:59:41 I'm psyched.

00:59:43 >> I've been labeled sexually gray.

00:59:45 Kind of solidified the mission.

00:59:47 And I've been waiting for Grant to call me all week, so I figured I might as well just watch my 25 films.

00:59:52 >> Why are you waiting for him to call?

00:59:54 Why don't you call him?

00:59:57 >> Anyway, so I had one of these on when it came time to practice one day, so.

01:00:01 >> Well, if it means anything, I've never heard you play this good girl.

01:00:05 >> Don't be ridiculous.

01:00:06 >> A month until the Philharmonic auditions.

01:00:08 Remembers when.

01:00:10 [Phone ringing]

01:00:17 >> Oh, my God, it's him.

01:00:19 >> The best man?

01:00:20 >> Yeah.

01:00:21 >> Do I answer?

01:00:22 >> No.

01:00:23 >> No?

01:00:24 >> Yes.

01:00:25 >> I don't know.

01:00:27 >> Okay, answer it or I will -- I already suffered through high school once.

01:00:31 >> Okay.

01:00:32 Okay.

01:00:35 Hey.

01:00:36 >> Hey, yourself.

01:00:37 It's Grant.

01:00:38 >> Hey?

01:00:39 The man of your dream calls you say hey?

01:00:41 >> Shh.

01:00:42 >> May shush?

01:00:44 >> No, sorry, not you.

01:00:45 I'm with the quartet.

01:00:47 Rehearsing to porn.

01:00:49 >> Did you say watching porn?

01:00:50 >> No, no, she did not.

01:00:52 She said horn.

01:00:53 Yeah, we're adding a French horn to the group.

01:00:56 >> Oh, well, I can't help you with that.

01:00:58 >> So you're working on a Saturday?

01:01:02 >> Listen, sorry I haven't called all week.

01:01:03 I've been bloody busy in nonstop meetings.

01:01:05 >> He was out of town all week.

01:01:06 >> That's it.

01:01:07 >> Oh, my God.

01:01:08 >> There it is.

01:01:10 >> Oh, oh.

01:01:11 >> Oh, your ass.

01:01:13 >> Oh, no, full vault.

01:01:14 >> Turn it down.

01:01:15 >> Sorry, Nessa just stubbed her toe.

01:01:20 >> Anyway, look, I know it's last minute, but I was thinking if you wanted to go out --

01:01:27 >> I would love to.

01:01:28 >> Yes, whatever it is.

01:01:30 >> So sorry.

01:01:32 >> Not sorry.

01:01:34 >> I'm sorry.

01:01:38 >> I'm sorry.

01:01:41 >> I'm sorry.

01:01:45 >> I'm sorry.

01:01:49 >> Okay.

01:01:51 >> Oh, Jesus.

01:01:53 >> Here we go.

01:01:55 >> Wait.

01:01:57 >> Wait.

01:01:59 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:01 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:03 >> I'm so sorry.

01:02:05 >> It's okay.

01:02:07 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:09 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:11 >> It's okay.

01:02:13 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:15 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:17 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:19 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:21 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:23 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:25 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:27 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:29 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:31 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:33 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:35 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:37 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:39 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:41 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:43 >> I'm sorry.

01:02:45 (gunshots)

01:02:48 (gunshots)

01:02:51 (gunshots)

01:02:53 (gunshots)

01:02:56 (birds chirping)

01:02:59 (footsteps)

01:03:01 (footsteps)

01:03:04 (footsteps)

01:03:06 (muttering)

01:03:09 (muttering)

01:03:12 (footsteps)

01:03:14 - Perfect pants for you too.

01:03:29 (footsteps)

01:03:31 - Hi.

01:03:44 - Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.

01:03:46 Um, I was just gonna.

01:03:47 - Oh.

01:03:50 Okay.

01:03:52 (footsteps)

01:03:54 - I'll call you.

01:04:03 - Yeah.

01:04:04 (piano music)

01:04:19 - Oh my God.

01:04:20 No, no, Grant, wait.

01:04:22 Shit.

01:04:24 No, Grant, wait.

01:04:27 Grant.

01:04:30 Grant.

01:04:32 If it's about the porn, I can quit any time.

01:04:36 What?

01:04:39 So I watch porn, big fucking deal.

01:04:42 - As long as it's consensual, no judgment.

01:04:45 (piano music)

01:04:48 - This tastes like crap.

01:05:04 Disgusting.

01:05:08 (grunts)

01:05:10 (grunts)

01:05:14 (piano music)

01:05:16 - Gotta get the feed list.

01:05:20 - Oh, you.

01:05:21 (grunts)

01:05:25 (piano music)

01:05:33 (piano music)

01:05:35 (piano music)

01:05:38 (piano music)

01:05:40 (piano music)

01:05:43 (piano music)

01:05:45 (piano music)

01:05:48 (horn honks)

01:06:13 (piano music)

01:06:16 (door slams)

01:06:23 (piano music)

01:06:28 (horse whinnies)

01:06:36 (piano music)

01:06:39 - Oh, Phil's penthouse is just so gorge.

01:06:47 My boyfriend and I walked in and he was all,

01:06:49 "This place owns the skyline."

01:06:52 - Well, it did take us about a year to complete,

01:06:54 so you can imagine what it cost.

01:06:56 - I don't do numbers.

01:06:57 - Me neither, but like how much?

01:06:59 - Anyway, if you thought the penthouse was impressive,

01:07:02 you really ought to see his place in the Hamptons.

01:07:05 - I can't wait to own multiple homes

01:07:06 in which I don't actually live.

01:07:08 - My boyfriend and I love the Hams.

01:07:11 - The Hams?

01:07:11 Is that what we're calling it now?

01:07:14 - Only people who live there,

01:07:16 or people who know people like my boyfriend does.

01:07:18 You guys need to meet him.

01:07:20 He'll be here in a minute.

01:07:21 - You know what?

01:07:21 I want some more wine.

01:07:23 In fact, I'll take an IV a bit.

01:07:24 - Noted.

01:07:25 - So, I think that you better slow your roll, Al.

01:07:28 - Why are you guys here again?

01:07:31 - Paul, he's doing the panel thing.

01:07:33 - Yeah, 'cause he has actual things to say.

01:07:35 Sorry, there is a designer on the panel,

01:07:42 and Paul wants to ask her out.

01:07:44 He makes us act like we're interested in him

01:07:47 so he can like get girls.

01:07:49 - Yeah, it's legitimizing.

01:07:51 Once I make partner, I probably won't need it.

01:07:54 - He's right.

01:07:55 My boyfriend's a partner.

01:07:56 It's attractive.

01:07:57 I mean, my boyfriend's already attractive.

01:07:59 My boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend,

01:08:02 my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend,

01:08:06 my boyfriend, my boyfriend.

01:08:08 - Maybe you should get a shirt that says,

01:08:09 I have a boyfriend, and then you wouldn't have to tell us

01:08:12 every five seconds.

01:08:13 - Okay, refill, coming right up.

01:08:15 - I didn't mean to make you jealous.

01:08:17 - Of what?

01:08:18 - You know what?

01:08:19 This is a good time to go.

01:08:20 - I'm good.

01:08:21 - Oh, there he is.

01:08:22 (upbeat music)

01:08:28 (sighs)

01:08:31 (sighs)

01:08:33 (door slams)

01:08:39 (sighs)

01:08:41 (sighs)

01:08:43 (sighs)

01:08:45 (sighs)

01:08:48 (door opens)

01:08:51 (sighs)

01:08:53 (door closes)

01:08:56 (door opens)

01:08:59 (bag rustles)

01:09:09 (door creaks)

01:09:18 (gasps)

01:09:20 - I'm a lot of sausage.

01:09:24 - I hope you brought your hot throbbing cup.

01:09:28 - What am I doing?

01:09:32 (upbeat music)

01:09:43 (upbeat music)

01:09:46 (upbeat music)

01:09:48 (upbeat music)

01:09:51 (upbeat music)

01:10:16 (upbeat music)

01:10:19 - Thank you.

01:10:35 We'll be in touch.

01:10:36 It's that way.

01:10:45 (door opens)

01:10:47 - Hey Priscilla, it's me.

01:10:49 So, the audition went great.

01:10:51 I did it.

01:10:52 I finally crossed something big off one of my lists.

01:10:55 Ah, I feel amazing.

01:10:56 (upbeat music)

01:11:00 - Jeff's getting married.

01:11:14 And he's inviting you.

01:11:16 And this is his idea of a wedding invitation.

01:11:18 Talk about no taste.

01:11:20 - Who gets worse?

01:11:21 - Don't even.

01:11:22 He wants you to play at the wedding.

01:11:24 - Us.

01:11:25 Yeah, he wants the quartet.

01:11:26 - Well, we're not doing that.

01:11:28 And I don't even understand,

01:11:29 why would he want you to be there at the wedding?

01:11:30 - Maybe he feels guilty.

01:11:32 I don't know, maybe he feels like he's doing me a big favor.

01:11:34 - How is this a favor?

01:11:36 - The girl's family is loaded.

01:11:37 - Okay, so we're absolutely doing it.

01:11:40 But Jeff is a tool.

01:11:41 And not a sharp one.

01:11:43 (laughs)

01:11:45 - Do you know, Luce, when Sharon left me for Jennifer,

01:11:48 it was more the rejection that hurt.

01:11:52 Not necessarily her leaving.

01:11:54 - Honestly, I don't really care about Jeff leaving.

01:11:57 And who wants to have super lame sex

01:11:58 the rest of their life anyway?

01:12:00 - I do.

01:12:01 Lame sex, virtual sex, the faint possibility of sex,

01:12:05 any of which would be more than I'm currently getting.

01:12:07 I can't even get my hand to have sex with me anymore.

01:12:09 - Yeah, well, maybe if you dressed up your hand

01:12:11 like a redhead who cooks, loves musicals, and has a PhD.

01:12:14 - Oh, I am sad to report that my standards

01:12:17 have dropped somewhat significantly.

01:12:18 - Oh yeah, well, what is your type these days?

01:12:20 - Willing.

01:12:21 You know, I've got to go to Vegas for a bachelor party,

01:12:25 I swear, all those boobs I can't touch

01:12:27 might just be the end of me.

01:12:28 - Yeah, I'm pretty sure no one over the age of two

01:12:30 has ever died from lack of boob.

01:12:33 - Yeah, that's a valid point.

01:12:34 - Wait a second, when are you leaving?

01:12:36 - For Vegas?

01:12:37 - Yeah.

01:12:38 - Tomorrow, why?

01:12:40 - Because I need to finish my list

01:12:42 and there's this Vegas thing on there.

01:12:43 - No, no, no, no, you need to finish it

01:12:45 because Jeff's getting married.

01:12:47 - No, I--

01:12:47 - Besides, Grant's gonna be there.

01:12:49 - I don't care if Grant's gonna be there,

01:12:50 I just need to finish my list, all right?

01:12:53 And you're gonna help me.

01:12:55 - Oh, so just embarrassing me at the strip club

01:12:57 wasn't enough for you, was it?

01:12:58 - It'd be so much better.

01:12:59 - Will it be, though?

01:13:00 - Yeah.

01:13:01 - Can I get more needles in here, please?

01:13:04 Tensing up!

01:13:05 ♪ It's Saturday night and the feeling's all right ♪

01:13:08 ♪ We've started a lovely affair ♪

01:13:12 ♪ Let's get on with the dancing ♪

01:13:13 ♪ Flirting and romancing ♪

01:13:15 ♪ A wonderful time we can share ♪

01:13:18 ♪ They're selling kisses at the bar ♪

01:13:20 ♪ Tommy's drinking cigars ♪

01:13:22 ♪ The music is filling the air ♪

01:13:25 ♪ Let's sing another song ♪

01:13:26 ♪ Keep on dancing all night long ♪

01:13:28 ♪ We're swinging on a Saturday night ♪

01:13:31 ♪ We're swinging and singing tonight ♪

01:13:37 (piano music)

01:13:40 - You need to have sex, and I have to finish my list,

01:13:44 so it's a win-win.

01:13:46 - Um, for losers, I'm not sure we come out

01:13:49 on the right side of this.

01:13:50 - Okay, here is who's working today.

01:13:53 - Nope, can't do it.

01:13:58 Do you know what?

01:13:59 They're probably all diseased.

01:14:00 - No, you're more likely to catch something

01:14:01 in a sorority house, see?

01:14:03 Here is a whole information sheet about their weekly tests,

01:14:06 how they check each customer for symptoms,

01:14:08 and clean everyone's genitals with antibacterial.

01:14:11 - How about we don't use the word genitals?

01:14:13 - Will you please just go in there

01:14:14 and do the deed so you can report back?

01:14:15 - Why don't you just go inside

01:14:16 and do the deed and report back?

01:14:18 - Because they don't service lesbians

01:14:19 or straight girls who like sex with women.

01:14:21 - How do you know they don't service women?

01:14:23 Oh my God, you called and asked for yourself.

01:14:26 Wow, you really have turned over a new leaf.

01:14:28 - Look, you buy women nice dinners all the time

01:14:32 hoping to get sex out of it, correct?

01:14:33 - What?

01:14:35 (scoffs)

01:14:37 I do.

01:14:39 - Yeah, so that's just a more honest side

01:14:41 of the exact same coin, and it's perfectly natural.

01:14:45 - I'm not going in there alone.

01:14:49 - Well, great, let's get in there.

01:14:51 - Wow, caught my bluff.

01:14:53 Oh boy, this is happening.

01:14:58 Hey, sweetheart.

01:15:02 You worry too much.

01:15:04 I told you there'd be other normal people here.

01:15:07 Howdy, fellas, how y'all doing today?

01:15:09 We're here to get her some, if you know what I mean.

01:15:12 Ain't that right, honey bunch?

01:15:15 It's a perfectly unnatural thing.

01:15:17 - What dialect is that?

01:15:20 - Is it not Southern?

01:15:21 - Not at all.

01:15:22 And just to be clear, this is already not worth it.

01:15:24 - Just so we are clear, am I to share your girl

01:15:27 or get my own?

01:15:28 I mean, we've not really worked out any of the details yet.

01:15:30 - Oh.

01:15:33 - Hmm, interesting.

01:15:34 - Ladies, please say hello.

01:15:38 - Just like that, here they come, down the staircase.

01:15:43 - Ooh, that's a nice dress.

01:15:44 - I need to go to the bathroom.

01:15:49 - Uh, I can't do this.

01:15:52 So, so sorry, I'm gonna squeeze through.

01:15:55 Good luck.

01:15:56 - What happened to your boyfriend?

01:16:00 - Oh, no, he's not my boyfriend.

01:16:02 He's more of a colleague.

01:16:04 - Excuse me, doll.

01:16:06 We don't service single women here.

01:16:10 - Actually, I wanna apply for a job.

01:16:14 - As?

01:16:17 - As a, you know, what they are, do.

01:16:20 Hi.

01:16:22 - You wanna be a working girl?

01:16:24 - Yeah.

01:16:26 (laughing)

01:16:31 (upbeat music)

01:16:34 - Wow.

01:16:35 - How'd it go?

01:16:36 - Well, I applied to be one of the girls.

01:16:40 - I'm sorry, what?

01:16:41 - Well, I didn't get the job, obviously.

01:16:44 - So, quick question.

01:16:45 When I tell the story later,

01:16:46 what do you think is going to be better?

01:16:48 The fact that you applied to be a prostitute

01:16:50 or that you didn't get the job?

01:16:51 - Anyway, I'm really sorry

01:16:53 that you're late for your bachelor party.

01:16:54 - No, that's all right.

01:16:55 I'll just tell them the truth

01:16:56 that you got hung up at a job interview.

01:16:58 I'm just teasing.

01:16:59 They'd be lucky to have you.

01:17:01 - Thank you.

01:17:02 (upbeat music)

01:17:04 - Here we are, huh?

01:17:19 Well, I mean, are you sure you don't wanna come along?

01:17:22 You could always be the entertainment package.

01:17:23 - No, I'm just gonna wander around.

01:17:26 - All right.

01:17:26 - All I want right now is a quiet bar

01:17:28 and an artfully crafted cocktail.

01:17:30 - Fair enough.

01:17:31 - Have fun. - All right, have a good night.

01:17:33 (cheering)

01:17:37 (upbeat music)

01:17:40 - Yes!

01:17:42 Ooh, that's strong.

01:17:44 Oh, let's take a picture.

01:17:46 On your front.

01:17:47 One, two, three.

01:17:49 - All right, Vegas.

01:17:53 Welcome to karaoke night at the Blue Saloon.

01:17:56 Up next, we've got...

01:17:58 (phone ringing)

01:18:00 Lucy Nell, come on out.

01:18:03 - What?

01:18:04 Oh, no, no, I didn't sign up.

01:18:06 - Now someone put your name in there.

01:18:08 - Well, actually, I don't sing.

01:18:13 - What do you do then?

01:18:15 - Um, I'm a violinist.

01:18:19 - Oh.

01:18:20 Well, then why don't you come down

01:18:23 and play some violin for us?

01:18:24 - Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm good, thank you.

01:18:26 - Come on, there's only like five people in here.

01:18:28 What do you got to lose?

01:18:29 Get up here, have some fun.

01:18:30 - Okay.

01:18:34 Not cool, guys.

01:18:37 - Give it up for Lucy.

01:18:39 (cheering)

01:18:42 - I play classical, mostly.

01:18:45 - That's all right, don't worry about it.

01:18:45 Just play along with the key G.

01:18:47 It's an original.

01:18:48 There's your bow.

01:18:49 Are you guys ready?

01:18:53 One, two, three, four.

01:18:55 (upbeat music)

01:18:57 (upbeat music)

01:19:01 (upbeat music)

01:19:28 ♪ Hello my lovely baby ♪

01:19:30 ♪ I want you near ♪

01:19:32 ♪ I see you walking through my door ♪

01:19:35 ♪ And it is clear ♪

01:19:36 ♪ I need you more and more ♪

01:19:39 ♪ Don't I ♪

01:19:41 ♪ I want you more and more in my life ♪

01:19:44 ♪ So hey, come on in ♪

01:19:48 (upbeat music)

01:19:50 ♪ Wake me up baby ♪

01:20:07 ♪ I feel I'm getting cold ♪

01:20:12 ♪ Wake me up baby ♪

01:20:16 ♪ I feel my heart and my soul ♪

01:20:21 ♪ Wake me up baby ♪

01:20:24 ♪ Wake me up in my soul ♪

01:20:29 ♪ Wake me up baby ♪

01:20:33 ♪ I feel my heart's getting cold ♪

01:20:36 ♪ I don't wanna get cold ♪

01:20:37 ♪ Now warm me up, warm me up, warm me up ♪

01:20:40 ♪ Here we are a new night ♪

01:20:42 ♪ And I am falling, falling, falling for you ♪

01:20:45 ♪ So I realize that I am moving ♪

01:20:48 ♪ Suddenly it seems as if my past left me ♪

01:20:52 ♪ Suddenly it seems as if the future's right in front of me ♪

01:20:57 - Yeah, all right Lucy.

01:21:03 (audience applauding)

01:21:05 Yeah.

01:21:05 Well done.

01:21:07 All right, let's see who's up next.

01:21:11 Anyone else have any hidden talents out there?

01:21:13 (sighing)

01:21:16 What are you doing here?

01:21:17 Shouldn't you be at the bachelor party with Paul?

01:21:20 - Paul showed me the picture you texted him

01:21:23 of you and the bossy of Harvard boys.

01:21:26 I recognize the bar, so--

01:21:28 - Let's show you.

01:21:29 - I thought I'd come looking for you.

01:21:31 - Please tell me you've got better than that.

01:21:33 - How about I tell you how sorry I am

01:21:39 that I fell for the face of the earth?

01:21:43 I was an idiot.

01:21:44 - Why didn't you call?

01:21:45 - Bunch of reasons.

01:21:48 None of them good.

01:21:50 - Okay, look, this has been fun

01:21:54 and thank you for whatever this is, but I'm not--

01:21:56 - Wait, can I just have one second?

01:21:58 Meeting you was a big surprise.

01:22:03 And then I realized how much I really liked you.

01:22:07 But then I just--

01:22:10 - Decided to show your considerable appreciation

01:22:13 by sleeping with me and then running out?

01:22:15 - It's just, it's a scary proposition.

01:22:19 - What's scary?

01:22:20 I'm scary?

01:22:21 What is scary about me?

01:22:23 - The status.

01:22:28 You're obsessed with sex.

01:22:31 - Look, you came around at a really weird time.

01:22:41 And I know the list is bizarre,

01:22:43 but I've got something important to prove.

01:22:46 - Prove what, to who?

01:22:47 - To myself.

01:22:48 I guess I need to prove to myself that I'm enough.

01:22:57 (gentle music)

01:23:07 - Leaving like that was a mistake.

01:23:09 Not calling you was a mistake.

01:23:11 Will you please forgive me?

01:23:15 (gentle music)

01:23:17 (laughing)

01:23:35 (gentle music)

01:23:37 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop.

01:23:43 - Stop?

01:23:44 - Yeah, I don't wanna hurt the baby.

01:23:46 - What?

01:23:47 I'm not pregnant.

01:23:51 - Beep on.

01:23:53 - Wait, I know, I know I've been emotional

01:23:57 and like I'm craving some weird stuff,

01:23:59 but oh my God, do I look pregnant?

01:24:01 - No, no, no, you're not emotional.

01:24:02 You look stunning and beautiful.

01:24:04 Is, at your house, you had maternity pants on the chair?

01:24:09 - Honestly, I saw the pants and I freaked out

01:24:12 and that's why I left.

01:24:14 - Oh my God.

01:24:15 - What?

01:24:17 - Oh my God, you left because you thought I was pregnant?

01:24:23 - That's a scary proposition.

01:24:25 - Wow.

01:24:31 (laughing)

01:24:33 Wait, you thought that and you still wanted to be with me?

01:24:39 (gentle music)

01:24:44 - Like the same books.

01:24:52 - No, not in the same order.

01:24:55 - You're right, it's never gonna work.

01:24:57 (gentle music)

01:24:59 - Luke, it's Paul, you're not gonna believe this.

01:25:26 I've met the girl of my dreams.

01:25:27 Her name is Destiny and yes, she's a stripper.

01:25:30 Let me tell you a little bit about her.

01:25:31 (gentle music)

01:25:35 - Hi Lucy, Al Gregson.

01:25:36 Our committee loved your audition

01:25:39 but ultimately decided your playing is too expansive,

01:25:41 a hair uninhibited for our conductor.

01:25:45 But I think your skills are just a bit misplaced.

01:25:47 To that end, I have an opportunity coming up

01:25:49 in a couple of weeks.

01:25:50 (gentle music)

01:25:53 (door closing)

01:25:56 (gentle music)

01:26:01 - Hey. - Hey.

01:26:18 - You all ready for the wedding?

01:26:19 - Yes, but there's something we need to do first.

01:26:22 (upbeat music)

01:26:25 - Wow.

01:26:31 - Well, you still got one more thing on your list.

01:26:35 - Yes, I do.

01:26:36 Let's go.

01:26:37 (upbeat music)

01:26:39 - There you go, thank you guys so much.

01:26:46 Thank you.

01:26:47 - Hi. - Hi.

01:26:49 - Hey, who are you making out to?

01:26:51 - Ah, Lucy, yeah, she's a big fan.

01:26:53 - How do I spell that?

01:26:55 (upbeat music)

01:26:57 - Actually, there is a much bigger hand

01:27:00 that you should make this out to.

01:27:02 (upbeat music)

01:27:05 - I mean, this is just so Jeff.

01:27:08 - You gotta dance?

01:27:11 - Yes, I would love to.

01:27:12 (upbeat music)

01:27:15 ♪ I'm a machine ♪

01:27:17 ♪ I can go ahead and keep the choice ♪

01:27:21 ♪ I gotta be the one for you to hold ♪

01:27:26 ♪ You don't have to be ♪

01:27:28 ♪ The one that I need you to be ♪

01:27:32 - Okay, Stan, woo!

01:27:34 - Hey, there she is, here, come on, switch.

01:27:38 - Oh.

01:27:39 - Hey, congratulations.

01:27:42 - Oh, thanks, and thanks for playing for us.

01:27:44 - The Force is strong with you.

01:27:46 (laughing)

01:27:49 - Do you mind if I, okay, that was cool.

01:27:53 - Yeah.

01:27:54 - Do you remember doing that?

01:27:56 - Thanks for doing this.

01:27:57 - Price was right.

01:27:59 - Is that the only reason?

01:28:00 - No, well, maybe.

01:28:03 Okay, yes, it was, but I'm glad I did.

01:28:06 I'm glad we're good.

01:28:08 - I gotta ask you,

01:28:13 whatever happened to that list you had,

01:28:15 the interesting one?

01:28:17 - Wait until you see the wedding gift I got for you.

01:28:20 (upbeat music)

01:28:26 - I can't find it.

01:28:38 - That's because it's right here.

01:28:42 (upbeat music)

01:28:44 - And I can't wait to give it to you.

01:28:46 - I'm married, I got married, I'm married today.

01:29:01 - Thank you so much for doing this.

01:29:07 What can I say, I believe in love.

01:29:10 - Hey Lucy, all the bridesmaids are twerking

01:29:12 on the dance floor, hi.

01:29:14 I'm Paul.

01:29:17 - I'm Honey.

01:29:17 - Delighted.

01:29:20 - Are you gonna ask me there?

01:29:24 - Yes, yes I am, right this way please.

01:29:26 - All right ladies and gentlemen,

01:29:36 there's only a few songs left,

01:29:38 so get out on the dance floor.

01:29:39 Let's celebrate Jeff and Ann tonight.

01:29:42 Let's send them off in style.

01:29:44 Don't forget to tip your bartender.

01:29:46 - What?

01:30:07 (upbeat music)

01:30:10 ♪ I'll be my baby now ♪

01:30:15 ♪ See you be my darling ♪

01:30:18 ♪ Be my baby now ♪

01:30:23 ♪ I'll make you happy baby ♪

01:30:28 ♪ Just wait and see ♪

01:30:31 ♪ For every kiss you give me ♪

01:30:35 ♪ I'll give you three ♪

01:30:39 ♪ Oh since the day I saw you ♪

01:30:42 ♪ I have been waiting for you ♪

01:30:46 ♪ You know I will adore you ♪

01:30:49 ♪ 'Til eternity ♪

01:30:51 ♪ So won't you please ♪

01:30:55 ♪ Be my little baby ♪

01:30:59 ♪ See you be my darling ♪

01:31:03 ♪ Be my baby now ♪

01:31:06 ♪ Whoa oh oh oh ♪

01:31:08 ♪ So won't you please ♪

01:31:25 ♪ Be my little baby ♪

01:31:28 ♪ See you be my darling ♪

01:31:32 ♪ Be my baby now ♪

01:31:35 ♪ Whoa oh oh oh ♪

01:31:40 ♪ Be my little baby ♪

01:31:47 ♪ See you be my darling ♪

01:31:50 ♪ Be my baby now ♪

01:31:53 ♪ Whoa oh oh oh ♪

01:31:58 ♪ Be my little baby ♪

01:32:02 ♪ See you be my darling ♪

01:32:05 ♪ Be my baby now ♪

01:32:08 ♪ Whoa oh oh oh ♪

01:32:12 (upbeat music)

01:32:15 ♪ I got what you've been waiting for ♪

01:32:38 ♪ There ain't nobody gonna cut me short ♪

01:32:42 ♪ We will be your wedding gift of choice ♪

01:32:46 ♪ I got what we are, what we want, we adore ♪

01:32:51 ♪ Ain't no one telling me to be ♪

01:32:53 ♪ Ain't no one, no, not me ♪

01:32:55 ♪ Even though you're telling me to be ♪

01:32:57 ♪ Something I can't see ♪

01:32:59 ♪ I don't ever wanna know ♪

01:33:01 ♪ Where you plan to go ♪

01:33:05 ♪ 'Cause I'm better off with me not a clue ♪

01:33:08 ♪ What you got, ooh, it's what I'm not, ooh ♪

01:33:12 ♪ I don't know, ooh, it's what I've got, ooh ♪

01:33:16 ♪ Doesn't matter much to me anymore, no ♪

01:33:21 ♪ Ooh, I got what we are, what we want, we adore ♪

01:33:26 ♪ Ain't nobody gonna cut me short ♪

01:33:30 ♪ We will be your wedding gift of choice ♪

01:33:34 ♪ I got what we are, what we want, we adore ♪

01:33:39 (upbeat music)

01:33:42 (upbeat music)

01:33:44 (upbeat music)

01:33:47 (upbeat music)

01:33:49 (upbeat music)

01:33:52 (upbeat music)

01:33:55 (upbeat music)

01:33:57 (upbeat music)

01:34:00 (upbeat music)

01:34:02 (upbeat music)

01:34:05 (upbeat music)

01:34:07 (upbeat music)

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