Life’s good for deliveryman Doug Heffernan, until his newly widowed father-in-law, Arthur, moves in with him and his w | dHNfa0RmaFpUS3U1WEU
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00 Oh, shoot, I need a towel.
00:02 Oh, come on.
00:09 Don't do this to me now. Work.
00:11 Work.
00:14 [SIGHS]
00:40 Are you seriously stealing my batteries?
00:44 Yeah.
00:47 So when I got to the gym, I just found out that my batteries were dead?
00:51 Yeah, and I left your Walkman on play so you'd think you did it yourself.
00:56 That's just evil.
00:59 And you're married to it.
01:03 Oh.
01:05 Yeah. All right.
01:16 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:19 Honey!
01:39 Doug, you took a perfectly good dog and turned him into a big, lazy eating machine.
01:45 And in case you hadn't noticed, I already got one of those.
01:48 Oh, slam me there.
01:51 Come on. Sit down. Watch the tube. Eat some doodles with us.
01:55 Here's what's gonna happen.
01:58 You're gonna wake up every morning early and you're gonna walk him.
02:01 And then you're gonna feed him dog food.
02:04 And then if he pees in the house, you're gonna clean it up.
02:07 And if he can't do all those things, he's going right back to where he came from.
02:13 I'm gonna miss you, buddy.
02:15 Good luck with your rapper.
02:41 Hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing?
02:43 Getting my fingers nice and creamy. Just the way I like them.
02:46 Uh-uh. No wife of mine is gonna do dishes on Valentine's Day.
02:50 You can do these tomorrow.
02:53 Thanks so much.
02:55 Hey, where's the food?
03:03 I don't know.
03:05 It's usually just right here.
03:08 What do we do?
03:09 I don't know.
03:10 What do we do?
03:11 Hey, I know about as much as you do right now.
03:13 Carrie!
03:17 Sweetheart!
03:18 Carrie!
03:19 What the hell is going on here?
03:36 We're training.
03:38 You were fast asleep.
03:40 I was resting between sets.
03:42 And you. How could you let this happen?
03:44 I'm weak. Please don't tell my wife.
03:46 Just get out of here.
03:48 Could I at least save my game to the memory card?
03:51 So weak.
03:53 So this has been going on during your training sessions.
03:59 Lou plays video games while you sleep and eat.
04:02 And read.
04:03 And all that crap about me being the wind beneath your wings.
04:07 Did you even work out at all?
04:09 Define at all.
04:11 (laughing)