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00:00 What's up family? Pastor Darius here. You just need to buckle up. This is the conclusion of the Manology series
00:07 It's called what I need from you is understanding. I got one request this message blesses you
00:14 Send it to somebody else. Enjoy the message
00:17 And listen, I'm I'm really excited about about our time together today and
00:26 Grateful to God for this how many been blessed by this series called manology?
00:30 That's a little weak. I said how many been blessed by this series called manology?
00:36 Well, we want to continue in it today. There's a scripture
00:40 I want to read in the book of Judges chapter number three beginning at verse number 31 and
00:45 We're gonna read one verse Judges chapter 3 beginning at verse number 31 and it reads like this
00:52 It says after Ehud came Shamgar the son of Anath who struck down
00:58 600 Philistines listen to this with an ox goad
01:02 he
01:05 to
01:06 saved
01:07 Israel he to saved Israel he to
01:14 Saved Israel. I want to stop reading right there and in order to tag a title to this text
01:21 I solicited the assistance of some sisters
01:25 Yeah, so so here it is here it is here it is here's the subject of today's sermon
01:33 I solicited this subject from some sisters
01:36 Here it is what I need from you is
01:40 understanding
01:46 Come on now you be singing it to us. Let me go to this side over here. I say y'all sing it to us
01:54 What I need from you
02:02 Is understanding
02:07 as
02:09 We ease into this introduction. I'd like to lift up a quote that's credited to the late and great. Dr
02:16 Myles Monroe he is
02:18 He is
02:22 Credited with this quote here it is for my Nate note takers
02:26 wherever purpose is
02:28 misunderstood
02:30 Abuse is inevitable
02:32 Wherever purpose is misunderstood abuse is inevitable in other words
02:40 he is in essence arguing that we will eventually and
02:45 inevitably
02:46 misuse what we misunderstand and
02:49 the enemy is aware of this reality and this is why he attempts to instigate and
02:58 orchestrate
03:00 misunderstanding as a matter of fact one of the
03:04 images that is used to describe the work of the adversary in the Old Testament is a
03:11 Leviathan image and this Leviathan is a metaphor for a twisting spirit
03:16 It is the enemy's involvement in
03:20 Influencing us to misunderstand what has been communicated
03:25 the twisting spirit
03:28 It's it's it's it's a spirit that influences us to read what someone's not writing
03:37 To hear what they're not saying you said that's wrong. They heard you wrong
03:44 You said that was dumb they heard you're dumb
03:51 It's Leviathan it is the twisting spirit because the enemy
04:00 operates in the arena of
04:03 Misunderstanding as a matter of fact the Apostle Paul clearly communicated to his audience in one of his epistles that God is
04:10 not the author of
04:13 confusion so if God is not the author of
04:18 Confusion then that means the enemy is the author of confusion
04:25 He wants confusion in your home. He wants confusion in your church. He wants confusion in your mind
04:31 He wants confusion in your money because he realizes that wherever there is
04:38 ignorance there is vulnerability
04:40 He operates in the arena of
04:46 Misunderstanding
04:50 Am I making sense
04:53 Yeah, he and he attempts to instigate and orchestrate
04:58 Misunderstanding first of all with us personally
05:02 Did you hear what I just said I
05:06 Don't really have time because a time won't allow me to do it because really number one is really he wants to instigate a
05:11 misunderstanding theologically
05:14 But I don't have time to unpack that right so when he can't watch this when he cannot
05:19 Stop you
05:23 from believing in God
05:26 He twists your understanding of the God you believe in I
05:29 Don't even have time that's how he got Adam and Eve in the garden he twisted their understanding of God
05:39 But not just theologically personally
05:45 Because he knows when you don't understand you
05:52 Then you will have will subject yourself to unnecessary abuse
05:58 Because where value is absent settling will be present
06:07 Whenever you see a person that settles
06:12 You're seeing a person that has not gotten a revelation of who they are
06:17 The devil wants you blind
06:19 So who is on the inside of you?
06:22 I don't even have time to deal with this which is why when many people when many people
06:26 When they're calling when they encounter that captures their calling is seen in Scripture
06:31 We see when God's calling people the first thing he's got to do is talk them out of a old identity
06:37 Did you hear what I just said the first thing he had to do was talk Moses out of a old identity
06:45 He said Moses. I'm calling you Moses start telling God what he not
06:48 He said Jeremiah, I'm calling you Jeremiah starts telling God what he's not
06:55 He says Gideon. I'm calling you Gideon starts telling God what he's not because the enemy knows
07:02 You will always behave in a way that is consistent with how you see yourself
07:08 So if he can get you to misunderstand you
07:12 He knows he'll eventually get you to misuse you
07:16 He wants to orchestrate misunderstanding
07:23 Theologically doesn't want you to understand God right?
07:26 orchestrate misunderstanding
07:28 Personally don't want you to understand you right and he wants to orchestrate misunderstanding
07:33 relationally
07:36 So that you don't understand others, right
07:41 Because whatever you misunderstand you misuse
07:45 And there are a number of different relationships we can talk about when it comes to the importance of
07:54 Understanding but because we're in this series called manology
07:59 We need to explore the implications of understanding when it comes to our relationships with men
08:06 because if there is a word that I hear with
08:09 Consistency that describes the state of many men
08:14 I've had the privilege of doing life with serving or leading it is this many men
08:21 feel
08:23 like Shamgar
08:25 They feel
08:28 Misunderstood
08:35 This this is why on this Father's Day in addition to whatever
08:39 Expression of love in addition to whatever gift of generosity that you're going to give to the man in your life
08:47 There's a gift that you need to add to that gift and it is a gift called empathy
08:53 Somebody say empathy. Yeah. Yeah empathy is not enablement
09:02 Empathy is not accepting excuses. Empathy is not being an accessory to the crime of self-sabotage and behavior
09:10 Empathy is
09:13 imaginatively stepping into the shoes of another person
09:17 Understanding their feelings and perspectives and using that understanding to guide your actions
09:31 Somebody say empathy and men need
09:35 Empathy your masculinity does not erase your need for
09:41 Empathy and our text is a powerful picture of what I'm attempting to articulate
09:48 this is important because our text reveals to us a
09:52 short yet significant story about an individual named Shamgar
09:58 The text says that Shamgar who's the son of a knafe?
10:02 defeats 600 Philistines with an ox gold now all the ox gold is is a stick that's
10:10 pointed at the end
10:13 That was used to poke the ox
10:15 When the ox was plowing and got out of line
10:24 The ox needed to plow in a straight line
10:27 So if the ox started veering off the straight and narrow
10:32 He'd get poked not to injure him but to align him
10:39 Don't miss it it was sharp enough for the ox to feel it but dull enough for the ox not to be injured
10:52 So when the ox got poked it felt like punishment, but it was really grace
10:58 Y'all aren't talking to me today and
11:03 The text says that Shamgar defeated 600 Philistines with a stick
11:12 He didn't have a sword
11:17 He didn't have a spear. He didn't have a shield. He did it with a stick
11:23 He did not have a sword he did not have a spear he did not have a shield
11:33 He did it with a stick
11:35 He did not have a sword
11:39 He did not have a spear. He did not have a shield. He did it with a stick
11:47 He did not have a sword
11:49 He did not have a shield. He did not have a spear. He did it with a stick and some of you
11:57 Feel like you're not gonna accomplish all that God's called you to accomplish because you don't have a sword
12:05 You don't have a spear and
12:08 You don't have a shield
12:11 But God says I'm gonna show you how to do more
12:16 without giving you more
12:18 I'm gonna show you how you've been under utilizing
12:22 What you already have?
12:25 So if I didn't give you a sword if I didn't give you a spear if I didn't give you a shield
12:31 That means I'm gonna do it with a stick. I
12:34 Don't know who this is for
12:36 But God's gonna do it with what you got
12:39 He's gonna do it with the connections. You got he's gonna do it with the education you got
12:45 He's gonna do it because he wants you to know the power is not in the sword
12:50 The power is not in the spear. The power is not it's not by might. It's not by power
12:57 It's by my spirit
13:00 So I'm gonna do it without it
13:04 Watch me be God and do it with a stick
13:07 Gideon had 300 you're gonna do it with a stick
13:12 Samson has supernatural strength. You're gonna do it with a stick
13:16 In that amazing I say in that amazing so why does he only get two sentences
13:26 Gideon gets some chapters
13:32 Samson gets chapters
13:38 But I feel safe in suggesting that if I were to go to the average church in
13:43 America and say how many people have heard of Samson many people would raise their hand if I were to say how many people have
13:49 Heard of Gideon many people would raise their hand. But if I were to say how many people have heard of Shamgar?
13:54 That's like asking somebody to quote a scripture from Obadiah
14:03 Y'all come on we quote Isaiah we quote Jeremiah now quote Nahum
14:09 Gideon gets chapters
14:18 Samson gets chapters
14:21 Shamgar gets a sentence
14:24 Y'all aren't talking to me
14:28 because Shamgar
14:31 represents
14:32 Men y'all aren't talking to me
14:35 Men
14:40 Who are fighting battles
14:45 People don't know about
14:49 So they're making contributions people aren't properly appreciating
14:55 (applause)
14:57 Shamgar like y'all writing a whole book on Gideon. He had 300 I did this by myself
15:10 Y'all aren't talking to me
15:14 He says at least Samson has supernatural strength I had to do this
15:22 (audience shouting)
15:24 With a stick and
15:28 I did all this with a stick. Come on guys
15:30 This the last Sunday I'm teaching this so we might as well go all the way in right? Yes. Yeah
15:36 It's like I'm doing all this with a stick and for some people is still not enough
15:40 Hi, yeah, yeah
15:48 It's me you don't see what I just did with a stick
15:51 You don't see what I just did without an example
15:56 You don't see what I just did when nobody bequeathed to me money in a wheel
16:07 You don't see what I did coming from nothing I
16:18 Did all this with a stick
16:20 And I only get a sentence
16:25 Cuz you
16:28 Don't realize how hard it was
16:32 To do it with a stick cuz grace make a hard thing look easy
16:43 Y'all not talking to me in Atlanta, you're not talking to me to New Jersey, you know
16:48 I said grace make a hard thing look easy
16:51 And some people are not expressing the kind of empathy that you need
16:57 Because they don't understand the kind of burden that you're carrying because grace make a hard thing look easy
17:05 But if people only knew
17:09 That just because I'm not stressed out doesn't mean I'm not stressed and just because I'm not cracking under the pressure
17:17 Doesn't mean I'm not feeling pressure
17:19 God I
17:21 Got to get now unto him who is able to keep me from falling
17:30 We
17:32 Not asking for applause we're not asking for a trophy
17:43 What I need from you
17:48 Is understanding because everything I'm doing I'm doing with a stick
17:56 I
17:58 Am doing without what other people had who do this?
18:06 I'm not asking for a cookie
18:13 I'm not asking for a party
18:16 What I need is
18:19 Understanding because doing this with a stick
18:22 Not easy
18:25 I
18:27 If you'll allow me I
18:39 said if you allow me I
18:42 Want to try to offer some insight
18:46 That will help increase your understanding of some of the battles sham gods fighting
18:55 Yeah
18:57 See because I've learned that sometimes there's the absence of empathy because there is
19:03 unawareness of the battle
19:06 So some people aren't expressing empathy
19:10 Because they unaware that just because it look easy it didn't
19:23 So I just want to know real quick I just got five things I can do it in ten minutes
19:27 I just want to know do I have your permission?
19:31 to share with you
19:35 Five things that your sham God might be fight. I want to know do you want me?
19:41 to share with you
19:44 Five things Sam gamma. I want to know
19:47 Do you want me to share with you now?
19:51 All right, I want to know do you want me to share with you right now?
19:56 Okay. Well since you asked me
20:00 Here's number one the sham guards the men in your life are fighting rejection they don't understand
20:09 Somehow in culture in
20:13 secular and Christian culture there seems to be this assumption that only the female gender deals with rejection and
20:20 Even though my reaction to rejection may be different the wounds that rejection causes are the same
20:26 Rejection is a refusal to accept someone for who they really are
20:31 It's not coddling dysfunction
20:34 It's not endorsing sinful behavior, but it is also not forcing people to fit in a box
20:40 God didn't put them in
20:44 Y'all aren't talking to me the the the word rejection has roots in the Latin word
20:50 Which means to throw backwards so whenever an individual experiences rejection it throws them
20:57 backwards in their evolution into
21:00 Authenticity because you telling me to be me but then punishing me when I am
21:08 Y'all aren't talking to me you're telling me to be you but you're upset when I don't like what you like
21:15 You're telling me why is it quiet to be you but you're upset when I don't want to go where you want to go
21:22 You're telling me to be me, but you're upset with I don't have passions that are your passions
21:28 You're telling me to be me, but you're upset with I don't have passions
21:30 Where can I be me?
21:51 I'm not saying accept my dysfunction
21:57 But accept me
21:59 Somebody say rejection. Yeah rejection leads to suppression
22:09 And many men feel suppressed
22:16 I don't know if I should go here
22:21 It's a little
22:25 I
22:27 This is why I don't know if y'all good I'm nothing go here help me. Holy ghost
22:35 Sometimes you may even notice a version of him emerges
22:46 When he's with others
22:49 That you don't see when he with you
22:51 And
22:53 It doesn't mean that there's something with you
23:02 It could mean that it's something with him
23:06 That feels safe not to suffocate with them
23:11 So he's more happy because he's more free
23:20 And
23:22 Sometimes you're like why you not like that when you with me cuz you won't let me be me when I'm with you
23:28 This the last Sunday come on
23:32 You so happy when you with them. You're so jovial when you with them
23:37 You're so excited when you with them cuz they don't reject me
23:43 So I give you the version of me that you want
23:48 Oh
23:50 The devil's upset right now
24:01 Some breakthroughs are happening right now
24:03 Some mindset shifts are happening right now God. Oh
24:09 Yeah, yeah, yeah
24:17 He dealing with rejection he don't understand so I can understand if it's my dysfunction I can understand if it's my struggles
24:24 We just talk about my personality
24:29 Here's why we don't understand it because are y'all okay?
24:37 some of the things
24:40 We feel like people are complaining about they benefit from
24:43 Because sometimes you might get with him and you like oh my god his stuff is so together
24:50 He got his stuff together and then you get with him. It's like why you always why everything got to be so
24:58 You missed it
25:00 But when you met
25:02 You missed it
25:04 You missed it
25:06 You missed it
25:08 You missed it
25:10 You missed it
25:12 But when you met
25:14 When you met me you are attracted to the fact that I have my stuff together
25:20 Everything has to be something
25:37 But when we got together you like his cars clean his bills are paid his I just feel so safe with him
26:06 Every time we have every time we have problems he figured out a way to get us out
26:09 But he don't talk enough I'm thinking
26:15 You didn't hear what I just said
26:21 Cuz when all we do is talk you say all you do is talk talk is cheap
26:27 I'm not talking because I'm thinking oh
26:33 My this is the last one I got
26:37 Tario go over there
26:42 Number two, can I give you number two men are fighting weaknesses? They did not pick
26:51 Because sometimes you think you the only one that don't like the weakness I
26:59 Don't know if I can go here
27:04 You
27:06 Don't like it we hate it
27:08 Cuz and you only hate the part of it, you know about
27:12 The Apostle Paul said Oh wretched man that I am
27:20 Who can deliver me from this body? I don't have time to deal with this
27:24 a man's responsible for his actions a man's responsible for his response to his impulses a
27:31 Man is responsible for the decisions that he makes when he is tempted
27:35 He picks that
27:38 But he doesn't pick the temptations
27:40 You didn't hear what I just said see I don't have time the Bible uses three different words to describe inappropriate
27:49 behavior
27:52 sin
27:53 Transgression and iniquity sin Greek word is her machia is her machiology. It is simply to miss the mark
28:00 It is I I'm playing darts. I'm trying to hit the middle. I missed I actually tried I just missed
28:06 Is that I went into the conversation saying whoo
28:11 I'm gonna be godly. I'm gonna stay calm. They said something next thing. I know I missed
28:18 Are we gonna keep it real today?
28:26 While you go into the relationship you say this time I'm gonna do this relationship God's way I'm gonna wait
28:33 We gonna wait we gonna do it God's way
28:36 But I meant it I really meant it
28:52 That's in then you've got I gotta wrap this up then you got
28:57 Then you got transgression which is which is a willful
29:06 Violation of the law it is premeditated is when I see them. It's on site
29:13 You have already made the decision
29:16 That his grace is gonna have to be sufficient
29:21 Because when I see them, where is my church?
29:24 It's on site
29:27 But then there is I gotta wrap up then there is
29:44 iniquity and
29:47 iniquity
29:48 literally etymologically means
29:51 Cricket nis or leaning
29:54 So it's not an action it's a lean
29:58 You don't choose not a lean doesn't mean fall a lean mean it don't take much
30:08 Y'all miss it
30:12 if I'm standing
30:14 Flat footed and I'm not leaning. It's harder to push me and make me fall
30:19 But if I got one foot in the air and I'm already leaning
30:22 It doesn't take much to make me fall
30:25 So a niquity refers to the area you lean in where it don't take much
30:34 The problem is everybody leaning
30:37 So you're judging their lean not knowing you leaning over this way
30:46 You're judging their lean not realizing you're leaning over
30:49 And so he got a lean he didn't pick and he hate it
30:59 I'm done. Paul said that which I hate I do
31:07 Whatever you said about him, he said worse to his self
31:15 It's
31:17 Not an excuse it's not even your problem. I don't have time to deal with this sisters. You're not his healing
31:27 You can create a safe space for him to heal you can be a safe person for him to heal with but Jesus
31:38 Couldn't even heal people that didn't want it
31:42 John 5 do you want to be made? Well
31:45 And so I don't even know why we don't talk as much about
31:50 Iniquity you shouldn't deny and you need to be aware of your leaning
31:54 So you put a support system in place to protect you from leaning from the area that you link
31:59 You can't pray you lean away. You need principles
32:09 You got to overcompensate in the area that you lean in
32:13 Number three
32:20 Men are fighting to create wealth they don't have
32:23 And they're dealing with the tension of
32:27 Mixed messages that family sometimes sin
32:31 And sometimes families don't intend to send mixed messages, but they do
32:37 It's I want you here, but I want some stuff
32:40 I want to move but I want you to stay still
32:48 And it's like sometimes to give you what you want we got to be gone to get it
32:53 Gosh
32:57 Number four men are fighting to release truth that most people can't handle
33:05 Tell me the truth you don't want it
33:08 And number five men are fighting wounds that many of them did not cause
33:20 Not wounds of commission some most men are fighting wounds of omission
33:26 It's not wounds emotionally in the sense that someone did things that they shouldn't that's that's not true
33:32 It's not wounds emotionally in the sense that someone did things that they shouldn't that's in part, but for many men is omission it it's
33:39 Enough people didn't do what they should have
33:42 So most men are living with holes in their souls
33:48 Because they're trying to do what Jesus did without getting what Jesus got
33:53 And that was the affirmation of his father before he performed any miracle
33:59 And I have a son in whom I am well pleased before he raised one person from the dead before he opened one blind eye his father
34:07 Spoke affirmation over him so he lived his life out of affirmation not seeking it
34:13 And many men are dealing with holes in their soul, but in this house
34:26 We are raising mighty men
34:29 And we're not asking you to accept an excuse
34:34 I'm, not asking you to enable anything that's dysfunctional
34:38 What I need from you
34:41 Is understanding that i'm carrying burdens you don't know about and fighting battles. I hadn't shared with you
34:49 Some of you are here under the sound of my voice and
34:55 You need to come into a relationship with the only one
34:58 That can really show you who you really are
35:01 You need to come into a relationship with
35:04 with jesus
35:06 You need to make him the lead of your life and the forgiver of your sin
35:08 And if you don't even know what that means, but in your heart, you know
35:12 I want to take this next step with god. This means i'm talking to you
35:15 So i'm going to pray a prayer. I'm going to pray it out loud. I want you to pray in your heart
35:20 Because today is the day
35:22 God's going to change
35:24 your life.
35:25 [BLANK_AUDIO]