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00:00:00 Hey family, you are about to watch
00:00:02 They would say it in old churches type, but it's right. You're about to watch a message called
00:00:06 Well, you just have to check this out I don't even know if I want to say why he wants to lie to listen
00:00:13 if you love
00:00:16 Biblical truth, I want you to tap into this message. There's a twist. I think it's gonna add some value to your life
00:00:23 Take care. God bless
00:00:27 It's gonna be great though clap your hands one more time. I'm I'm excited about what God's doing
00:00:33 Judges chapter 16 verse number 4 judges chapter 16 verse number 4
00:00:39 Says this some time later
00:00:43 He fell in love with a woman in the valley of Sarek whose name was Delilah
00:00:52 All
00:00:54 Right
00:01:00 Hey, you you see this imagery all over our building you see something called h7. That's our core values there
00:01:06 They aren't random. There are seven character traits that we see embodied in the life of Jesus
00:01:11 We want them embodied in the life of our community one of those character traits is hunger
00:01:15 That means we want an insatiable appetite for God's presence
00:01:18 So we're enthusiastic in worship and an insatiable appetite for God's principles
00:01:22 It means we want truth because truth sets us free and we appreciate we respond to we a man truth
00:01:29 Even if it's a little ouch on it
00:01:31 It's the truth that sets us free come on, right
00:01:39 And we don't and the purpose of a spiritual family isn't just to make us feel better
00:01:44 See just because that's what people use church for doesn't mean that's what church is for
00:01:50 It it is God's intention that church be more than just a place that makes us feel better about a life we hate
00:01:59 It's a place where we get the guidance that we need to actually
00:02:07 Create the life he intended for us to have and so sometimes that requires
00:02:14 Us being a little open
00:02:16 So I want you to be open. I want you to be patient and I and I want us to appreciate and
00:02:22 Stand on the truth
00:02:24 God's Word today. All right, so I'm gonna read this scripture one more time
00:02:28 I don't know but judges 16 for sometime later
00:02:31 He fell in love with a woman in the valley of Sorek whose name was Delilah
00:02:35 I want to talk from this subject in our time together today
00:02:38 Why he wants Delilah
00:02:41 (music)
00:02:43 Yeah, it's 12 o'clock some see I know I can I can press it a little bit here
00:03:06 Sisters if you let me see how politically correct if you've ever wondered
00:03:10 What in the world?
00:03:13 Was he thinking
00:03:16 When he was with her
00:03:19 Gosh
00:03:32 Don't give me about another year we're gonna be alright, it's gonna be a whole
00:03:35 Y'all get free in here
00:03:38 Why he wants Delilah
00:03:41 Family, I recently came across a quote that I like to lift up as we leap into this lesson today
00:03:46 And the quote is as follows. It's simply this the devil is not only in the details
00:03:52 The devil is in denial
00:04:00 In other words the enemy uses the instrument of denial as a weapon of mass
00:04:05 destruction to keep us
00:04:09 Stuck in a place called settling in private imprisoned to
00:04:15 Average and to influence us to turn what should be a season into a cycle
00:04:28 Seasons are not necessarily cycles because seasons change with time
00:04:35 Cycles change with us
00:04:40 and
00:04:43 the enemy knows that a seat that a season can become a cycle and we can stay in a cycle as long as we are
00:04:50 Operating with denial because denial makes it impossible to change
00:04:57 Denial is
00:04:59 Dangerous it is sight suppression. It is when a person chooses to live like they're blind when they have the ability to see
00:05:07 It is the deliberate act of closing our eyes to glaring truths that may hurt our feelings now
00:05:15 But will actually save our future later
00:05:17 It is an unwillingness to deal with something now that will deal with us later
00:05:24 It is a commitment to feeling good by doing nothing instead of becoming better by doing something
00:05:30 It is an act intended to foster protection
00:05:34 But ultimately becomes a self-imposed prison and many people are serving a life sentence of pain
00:05:40 problems and plateauing because they are in an invisible prison called denial and if we ever
00:05:48 needed deliverance
00:05:50 From anything we need deliverance from denial
00:05:55 The enemy knows you cannot improve what you do not acknowledge
00:06:01 He knows you cannot improve what you do not admit
00:06:05 He knows you cannot fix what you're unable to face
00:06:09 So the prince of darkness wants to keep us in darkness
00:06:13 regarding areas of our life that require some attention and we need to get a
00:06:21 revelation that God wants to give us a
00:06:24 Revolution not in our ability to see what's going on with everybody else
00:06:30 But he wants to give us the ability to see what's going on with me
00:06:36 Do you have insight?
00:06:39 Insight do you have the ability to see in?
00:06:48 In
00:06:50 Self correction limits God correction
00:06:56 Paul says if we would judge ourselves, there would be no need to be judged
00:07:03 So in other words God's like there are some things I wouldn't have to correct if you did
00:07:07 But it's better for you to fix it than for me to fix it
00:07:13 Because when I fix it I send a whale and the whale has to swallow you up
00:07:17 And you have to stay in the belly of the whale three days. I need you to fix it and
00:07:21 I'm am I am I talking to anybody?
00:07:25 That's in a season of your life
00:07:28 Where you're honest enough to admit I'm tired of it requiring crisis for me to change
00:07:40 I'm tired of the bottom having to fall out in some area of my life in order for me to make an adjustment
00:07:47 God if there are some things about me that I can't see that are hurting me show me
00:07:53 Show me before I blow it
00:07:56 Show me before I lose it show me before I sabotage my future
00:08:00 It might hurt my feelings, but I need you to save my future show me me
00:08:05 I
00:08:07 Denial is dangerous
00:08:15 It spares your feelings, but it sabotages your future
00:08:22 Denial is an expression that somebody is worshipping at the altar
00:08:35 of fragile
00:08:37 self-esteem
00:08:39 They are worshipping comfort
00:08:42 And
00:08:49 It is dangerous. It is dangerous in any area of our life. It's dangerous financially. It's dangerous
00:08:55 Professionally, it's dangerous
00:08:57 Relationally, but when I was reading this text in judges
00:09:00 I saw a specific area that denial is dangerous in that I want to spend our time exploring on
00:09:07 Today and that is this
00:09:09 It's dangerous when we're in denial about our duality
00:09:18 This is the way I shared it at 10 o'clock all of us have a twin
00:09:27 I
00:09:29 I'm not talking about a biological twin outside you I'm talking about another
00:09:37 version of you on the inside of you come on talk back to me because
00:09:42 duality is the state of having two different and
00:09:46 Opposite parts and whether we know it or not all of us deal with some reality of duality
00:09:53 We can be nice and mean we can be smart and silly we can be humble and arrogant
00:09:59 We can want to be around people and we can want people to leave us alone
00:10:02 We could be an introvert today an extrovert tomorrow. We can be hood and holy or both
00:10:07 We all have some duality on the inside of us
00:10:13 And I know some of us assume that your spiritual maturation it causes the elimination of your duality
00:10:20 I know you think the more spiritual you become the less acceptable you become to that other version of you
00:10:27 But your spirituality does not eliminate your duality
00:10:31 I can say this with confidence because I read something that was written by a tent maker from Tarsus
00:10:37 He was trained under the rabbinical tutelage of Gamaliel. He was educated at the University of Tarsus
00:10:43 He was a Hebrew of Hebrews a Pharisee
00:10:46 Circumcised on the eighth day. He was a Roman citizen
00:10:49 He is responsible for two-thirds of the New Testament most of what you read in the New Testament
00:10:55 He wrote it. He was so anointed that when he would walk past people people would get healed in his shadow
00:11:02 He was such a praiser that when they put him in a Philippian prison at midnight
00:11:09 When everybody else was panicking Paul and Silas got to praising
00:11:15 This man said this I find this law at work
00:11:24 Come on don't get quiet on me now this same man who did all this stuff said I find this law at work
00:11:31 Although I want to do good
00:11:34 He said I'll be trying Lord knows I'll be trying I
00:11:39 Want to do good evil
00:11:45 Is right there with me for in my inner being
00:11:50 The spiritual part of me. I delight in God's law. Oh, I love his word
00:11:56 God I love your word
00:11:59 God I love your presence
00:12:02 God I love your spirit
00:12:04 God if you can use anything Lord you can use me. I delight in God from my inner being
00:12:11 but
00:12:14 I
00:12:16 See another law at work
00:12:20 Waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner
00:12:28 He say sometimes I feel like I'm a prisoner
00:12:34 To my twin
00:12:40 I'm looking for the honest people that will admit sometimes my twin win
00:12:46 Let me go to this side
00:12:49 sometimes that twin win
00:12:52 Sometimes I say twin you shouldn't say that and they say well, I'm gonna say it today
00:12:56 Twin you shouldn't do that. Well, I'm gonna do it today
00:12:59 Twin let God handle it God taking too long. I'm a hell it today. I'm gonna give it to Jesus tomorrow
00:13:05 I
00:13:07 He says what a
00:13:21 wretched man that I am
00:13:24 He says as I'm knowing it as I am. I'm confused about me
00:13:30 How all of this can be in the same person
00:13:34 I
00:13:36 Feel like y'all think y'all confused about me. Nobody's more confused about me
00:13:47 That I am about me you asking me what were you thinking I look in the mirror sometimes and say what were you thinking
00:13:58 I
00:14:00 Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death
00:14:10 But even though he deals with the reality of duality, he's a he's a man that still reaches his destiny
00:14:16 He's a man that did not sabotage his spiritual success. He's a man that finished
00:14:22 Well, he's a man who ends his journey with integrity associated to his name
00:14:28 Because if you are aware of your duality it properly positions you to manage your duality
00:14:34 So that your duality does not destroy your destiny, but if you are in denial
00:14:40 If you think you forgot how to do what you used to do
00:14:50 It's just like riding a bike
00:14:58 I
00:14:58 Y'all aren't talking to me on this side over here
00:15:01 I said it's just you hadn't forgot how to say anything you used to say how to do anything you used to do
00:15:08 Your awareness is what allows you to make the adjustments
00:15:18 So that you can make decisions in your time of strength that protect you from you in your time of weakness
00:15:27 the
00:15:29 Apostle Paul
00:15:31 Writes what I just read to believers in Rome. These are people he's spiritually leading. He's not even talking to peers
00:15:39 He's talking to people that is leading. He's trying to normalize
00:15:44 duality for them
00:15:47 He's trying to help them see that the wrestling match you're having doesn't mean you're weak
00:15:55 It means you're human
00:15:57 Am I making sense is that you need to be aware of this
00:16:03 So you can properly manage this and many people sabotage their future
00:16:09 Because they underestimate they twin
00:16:12 Because you think because their twin been locked up for a season
00:16:18 That twins gonna stay locked up for a lifetime
00:16:22 That twin will pop back up on you. I'm back
00:16:24 You like I thought I was delivered
00:16:28 I'm delivered. No, that's dormant
00:16:34 You can get delivered from that behavior you can get delivered from habits
00:16:42 But you cannot get delivered from the flesh the Apostle Paul says you have to put that to death daily
00:16:49 He
00:16:51 Said I die daily. I'm sorry. Y'all know I grew up in a little old-school church one day at a time
00:17:00 Sweet Jesus, that's all I'm asking of you
00:17:05 Y'all don't know it
00:17:08 You know
00:17:12 You have to be aware
00:17:14 So you can manage the reality of your duality. I'm not talking about obsession
00:17:20 I'm not gonna be it being obsessed. I'm simply saying being aware
00:17:24 Just still in me
00:17:28 Now this is important
00:17:34 Because duality everybody breathe you about to be about to need it
00:17:42 This is important because duality not only impacts
00:17:46 Who we are?
00:17:49 duality also affects
00:17:52 What we want
00:17:54 Hi, yeah, yeah, yeah
00:18:01 I'm gonna say it again
00:18:05 Duality not only affects who we are
00:18:10 Duality also affects what we want
00:18:13 Because sometimes we be wanting
00:18:19 Lord have mercy
00:18:24 And sometimes with me and the duality makes them want
00:18:35 Delilah
00:18:39 Yeah
00:18:41 Yeah, and I see an example of this in this text this text exposes us to the life of an individual named
00:18:52 Samson and Samson was a powerful picture of the reality of duality
00:18:57 Because we read or we pick up on this story in judges chapter 13
00:19:02 But his story actually doesn't begin with Samson
00:19:04 It actually begins with Israel the Bible says that Israel is going
00:19:09 Undergoing a season of correction that they think is circumstantial now
00:19:13 I don't have time to dig deep into this theologically
00:19:15 But there's something that you need to understand and that is the wrath of God was actually poured out in full on Calvary
00:19:21 Jesus absorbed the wrath of God. So what you deal with now post Jesus is not wrath. It's love
00:19:28 That comes in the form of chastisement
00:19:34 The writer Hebrew says whom the Lord loves he chastens
00:19:38 So he's not he's not behaving
00:19:43 Punitively, he's not saying I'm punishing you because the wrath of God was poured out on Calvary
00:19:51 The price has been paid
00:19:53 So now what you receive in the New Testament is chastisement it is God loving you enough
00:20:03 To correct you because his correction is less consequential
00:20:10 Then the price you will pay
00:20:16 Disobeying see see in the book of Judges is called judges because this was an age and era where Israel had no king and it
00:20:24 Says that there was no king in Israel and everyone did what was right in their own eyes
00:20:30 Got me and so what began to happen is there are certain commandments that God had gave that they would not take seriously
00:20:37 That they would disobey
00:20:39 Now here's the issue with divine instruction
00:20:42 God's divine issue how many of you wait maybe if you've ever heard
00:20:47 The Bible say if you ever heard somebody say or read in the Bible God's a jealous God wait a minute
00:20:52 Okay, so there are different types of jealousy. There is a jealousy that is possessive and
00:20:59 Then there's a jealousy that is protective
00:21:01 And God's like I'm not jealous because I'm possessive I'm God whether you know it or not
00:21:10 He I'm God whether you treat me like I'm God or not
00:21:15 He says so my jealousy regarding you is not possessive it's not that I feel less about me
00:21:26 It is protective
00:21:28 It's because because I know
00:21:30 That the instruction that I'm giving you
00:21:33 Regarding what you need to have allegiance to is what's best for you
00:21:37 My instruction is for your protection
00:21:42 And when you don't obey me you make it harder for me to protect you
00:21:50 Every parent should be saying amen right now
00:21:53 Because sometimes your children think you have nothing else to do but control their life
00:21:59 Like you don't have bills and a job and so much else going on in your life
00:22:05 That you just want to find out who they texting and what they don't you're like I am NOT
00:22:11 In your business just to be in your business, I'm in your business because you have blind spots
00:22:20 And the instruction that I'm giving you is not me being possessive
00:22:25 It's me be being protective because it's hard for me to protect you if you don't obey me
00:22:32 If I say don't just drink
00:22:37 Something that's in somebody's cup. I'm not trying to be in control. This is protective custody
00:22:44 If I tell you don't dance on a glass coffee table, this is not control
00:22:49 It's protective custody, but you can't keep dancing on a glass coffee table and get cut and then blame the devil
00:22:57 He's saying that's not the enemy that's the enemy
00:23:13 So God's like I'm telling you forgive people I ain't gonna forget he's like you dancing on a glass table
00:23:19 Love your enemies, I'm not loving okay, you're dancing on a glass table
00:23:27 Don't be unequally yoked I like who I like, okay
00:23:33 You dancing on a glass table and the problem is some of you've been dancing so long you hadn't failed
00:23:42 And
00:23:44 We don't think falling is possible
00:23:48 But grace is not permission to continue
00:23:57 Grace is an opportunity to get it right without consequence
00:24:05 So
00:24:07 Israel's in a season of judgment, and they don't know it
00:24:14 They're being oppressed by this group called the Philistines they're oppressed 40 years
00:24:23 40 years
00:24:25 now I'm not
00:24:27 I'm not trying to tie these two things together, but there's a pattern I want you to see
00:24:32 Because there's a judge named Gideon in the book of Judges
00:24:36 Who led Israel out of Midianite oppression and that was seven years?
00:24:42 That's in like judges six right now. We're in judges 13 and
00:24:48 They've been dealing with the Philistines 40 years
00:24:52 Because God's like so seven went long enough for you
00:25:00 Did
00:25:02 You hear what I just said
00:25:06 Since it's so seven didn't get the message across
00:25:12 So 40 years
00:25:16 They're dealing with Philistine oppression and the Bible says they start crying out to God in their pain
00:25:22 They need deliverance
00:25:25 They cry out to God for deliverance. They need deliverance
00:25:29 So they cry out to God for deliverance. They need deliverance
00:25:33 So they cry out to God for deliverance. They have a problem. So they talk to God Marlon about the problem
00:25:40 They have a problem. So they talk to God about the problem
00:25:44 God
00:25:46 Answers their prayer not by answering them. God answers their prayer by orchestrating a pregnancy
00:25:52 So
00:25:54 They asking for deliverance God impregnates a woman with a deliverer
00:26:02 Watch this but doesn't announce to Israel that your answers in the womb of a woman
00:26:08 So for nine months they suffering not knowing deliverance is on the way
00:26:17 Did you hear what I just said I say they have no idea watch this because just because you talk to God about the problem
00:26:24 Doesn't mean God talks to you about the answer
00:26:27 Sometimes God's not talking to you about the problem because he's impregnating somebody
00:26:34 With the answer are you hearing what I'm saying?
00:26:38 And you just got to be willing to wait the nine months and all of a sudden without
00:26:45 Notice your answer just shows up. I don't know who this is for
00:26:49 But this next thing that's about to hit your life
00:26:52 It's gonna come without warning
00:26:55 I need somebody receive this this next text this next email this next phone call
00:27:06 Is about to blow your mind without warning
00:27:14 All right
00:27:16 This is interesting
00:27:32 So this this man named Manoah has a wife who was barren and the Lord says she's gonna have a child
00:27:40 His name's gonna be Samson and he's gonna have supernatural strength
00:27:44 But remember his birth is an answer to the problem of the Philistines. So the strength that he has
00:27:52 It's based on the enemy. He's assigned to
00:27:55 That's a problem because there's people in your life who want your strength
00:28:02 But they can't handle your enemies
00:28:07 Did you hear what I just said, oh you don't get this kind of strength without having to have awesome enemies in your past
00:28:14 Isn't it amazing how people will admire your strengths but won't know parts of your story
00:28:24 They like oh my god, you're so strong and you're like, I wish I didn't have to be this strong
00:28:30 There's a reason I'm this strong
00:28:32 I've been through something where I had to grow or die and I choose to live
00:28:37 Armando I
00:28:40 Could have died I could have gave up I could have threw in the towel, but I made a decision
00:28:46 I will live and not die
00:28:50 [applause]
00:29:09 So don't miss this
00:29:11 So Samson's strength
00:29:13 Was to protect Israel from the Philistines. He's born
00:29:19 to protect Israel from the Philistines
00:29:21 Here's the problem
00:29:24 Let me read this
00:29:27 Judges 16 verse number 4
00:29:32 Sometime later he fell in love with a woman in the valley of Sarek whose name was Delilah
00:29:40 So he born
00:29:43 to protect
00:29:46 Israel from the Philistines, but he keep falling in love with Philistine women
00:29:53 Y'all aren't talking to me
00:29:58 He like what's killing him
00:30:04 This is killing me, but I like it
00:30:08 Y'all aren't talking to me I want you to see the reality of this duality you're born
00:30:16 To protect Israel from the Philistines yet
00:30:19 You got affection for the very enemies you supposed to protect Israel from
00:30:25 It's like Samson looked over there at the Philistines and said
00:30:30 They do a little different over there
00:30:34 Wait a minute I feel like it's a little judgment going on
00:30:38 Sisters don't y'all judge Samson now
00:30:45 Because these conflicting affections are not just limited to one gender
00:30:50 Sisters I'm gonna find wherever on this section. That's why I'm a preach to you have duality -
00:30:57 You want him Street, but not in the streets I
00:31:02 Want him nice, but not weak
00:31:06 You want him a thug but not a criminal
00:31:12 You want him say but not too spiritual wait a minute
00:31:15 I need to be able to take him to the club and to church
00:31:40 (crowd cheers)
00:31:42 Yeah, don't don't judge Samson
00:32:05 (crowd cheers)
00:32:07 So he's got this
00:32:15 This affection for Philistine women is interesting y'all
00:32:18 because he
00:32:20 It's interesting. He develops a particular liking
00:32:23 To a woman named Delilah who ended up being his demise
00:32:27 The Bible says he fell in love with her
00:32:33 This wasn't lust it was love
00:32:36 Just because the love is real doesn't mean the love is right
00:32:44 But PD is so real but is it right
00:32:51 PD I never felt like this before but is it right?
00:32:58 Nobody's affected me like this, but is it right? I feel like I've known in my whole life
00:33:04 But is it right there is a way that seems right unto man, but in the end
00:33:11 Keep keep dancing on the glass table in the end
00:33:23 He loved her I don't even have time but nothing in the text says nothing in the text says she loved him
00:33:30 There is emotional inequity
00:33:48 (crowd cheers)
00:33:50 It's interesting
00:34:00 Because for me I'm wondering Samson
00:34:05 You tell that riddles like yours. You're not just strong you're wise
00:34:10 I don't understand
00:34:16 Why
00:34:18 Would Simpson be interested in someone like that to take it further when you consider all that he went through before her
00:34:25 Because she wasn't the first Philistine woman he had relationship with she the third he was married to one
00:34:43 So I don't have time
00:34:46 but you keep choosing a
00:34:49 different person, but the same type
00:34:52 They taller but they still a Philistine they younger but they still a Philistine they make more money
00:35:02 But they're still a Philistine same type
00:35:13 What happened because it's not a dumb man
00:35:16 He did a dumb thing
00:35:21 But he's not a dumb man
00:35:23 And if you dismiss this as dumbness you rob yourself of the richness of this lesson
00:35:29 If you make some broad
00:35:33 Generalizations that culture may agree with and affirm, but that scripture will contradict
00:35:39 It's easy. It's easy to be intellectually lazy and say stuff like men are dumb
00:35:44 It's a way it's a it takes more work
00:35:55 To lean in and to say I'm not excusing what happened it was wrong
00:36:02 But let me dig deeper and find the why
00:36:06 Because if I don't find the why all we dealing with is the symptom of the sickness
00:36:12 So we've diagnosed symptoms, but not the sickness we need to know why
00:36:20 Maybe maybe family
00:36:28 Maybe there was some qualities in Delilah
00:36:35 That although the relationship was wrong
00:36:37 Maybe the qualities made it feel right
00:36:41 See you got to catch this because
00:36:47 Delilah does not represent the other woman
00:36:51 Cuz Samson wasn't married
00:36:54 Neither was the Lila Delilah represents a type of woman
00:37:00 Who
00:37:02 Has some qualities that meet
00:37:08 needs
00:37:10 That causes men to ignore
00:37:13 the toxic traits
00:37:16 That are gonna sabotage destiny
00:37:19 This is why I'm glad I did hungry man first
00:37:23 Because when you hungry
00:37:28 Your discernment is impaired and you will explain away toxicity
00:37:35 You will ignore the 80% of toxicity because you're hungry for the 20%
00:37:44 Maybe Delilah represents Samson getting a right need met in the wrong place
00:37:54 Maybe
00:37:56 Maybe just maybe maybe
00:37:59 Maybe he kept going to Philistines because maybe I don't know he didn't tell me
00:38:07 Maybe the Proverbs 31 woman was hard to find
00:38:21 I
00:38:23 Know we just beat we just throw that around
00:38:27 But when you read Proverbs 31 you have a man who's operating under the pseudonym Lemuel
00:38:34 Who's saying these are words that were given to me by my mother?
00:38:38 Lemuel is a pseudonym for Solomon. This is Solomon's mom
00:38:43 Giving him game on how to choose a woman. I
00:38:50 Ain't gonna bother that he should have listened to his mama
00:38:52 And I know this conversation about fathers having conversations with daughters
00:39:01 About men. I love this. I love Proverbs 31 because it's a woman having a conversation
00:39:08 honest conversation
00:39:11 honest conversation a
00:39:14 honest conversation
00:39:16 with her son about women
00:39:19 just like a father knows me a
00:39:22 Mother knows women she say sit down son
00:39:29 And who can find
00:39:34 Say this is hard to find
00:39:47 Gosh maybe he kept going to the Philistines because he didn't see a lot of difference
00:40:12 Maybe he was dealing with the same kind of condescension and combative combativeness
00:40:18 All right, let me wrap up
00:40:25 Men do not say a man anymore where I'm getting ready to go
00:40:29 Any a man's from this point on may get you in trouble. I got you
00:40:33 All I know is that for the purpose of this presentation Delilah can represent an
00:40:42 unwise attempt to meet a real need
00:40:44 She was a satanic plant she was on the payroll of the Philistines she was the kryptonite to Samson Superman
00:40:53 But this man blew it all
00:41:00 For the lot why I don't know but maybe maybe there were some real needs that were being met
00:41:11 I
00:41:12 Don't know
00:41:13 But I just kind of looked at the passage and draw some conclusions
00:41:16 Conclusions based off of some things I saw about their interaction and so here's one thing maybe here's maybe one reason Samson wanted Delilah
00:41:24 She wasn't dismissive of his desires
00:41:27 Oh well
00:41:39 See
00:41:41 dismissiveness
00:41:42 doesn't mean
00:41:44 necessarily disrespect I
00:41:46 Don't have to be disrespectful to be dismissive
00:41:50 Dismissiveness can happen when a person is weighing the weight of what's important to me on
00:41:58 the scale of what's important to you and
00:42:02 If what's important to me?
00:42:05 Doesn't weigh the same
00:42:09 As what's important to you then you don't prioritize it the same way
00:42:15 It's it's if you don't think it's important then it's not
00:42:25 Even if I've articulated it's important to me
00:42:34 And watch this just because I articulate it doesn't mean you have to agree I
00:42:39 Just want to know I'm heard
00:42:44 Y'all are tough, I just want to know I just want to know I'm not dismissed I
00:42:51 Just want to know that when it comes to what the Bible says I can only get from you
00:43:01 Cuz there's some stuff God is not going to do
00:43:04 He gave Adam Eve
00:43:07 Cuz he say some of the stuff you need
00:43:10 I'm not gonna do
00:43:13 So if this is the only place that the Bible says I can get it and I'm articulating to you what I need
00:43:29 Are you responding in a way?
00:43:31 That helps me to see that what I need matters to you
00:43:39 And
00:43:51 Here's the danger of dismissiveness
00:43:53 Dismissiveness leads to muteness
00:43:59 And
00:44:01 Only Jesus can heal a mute man
00:44:05 By the time he gets mute you can't fix it
00:44:10 Because the muteness is a reflection of the accumulation of dismissiveness
00:44:24 Because now his muteness becomes a way to manage his disappointment
00:44:30 Because if I keep talking about
00:44:34 Something you keep showing me you're gonna do nothing about it increases my frustration
00:44:40 And so because I want to manage my frustration in a healthy way, I'm gonna stop talking about this
00:44:46 Because I'd rather just deal with not having it
00:44:54 Than to continue to have conversations that remind me of how much I want it
00:44:58 Can I just be a pastor to come on
00:45:07 And here's what's scary
00:45:12 What you want what we need is men that are not mute I
00:45:23 Know we talk a lot about men's presence, but the Bible shows us the importance of men's voices
00:45:28 See even in the Garden of Eden the problem wasn't that Adam wasn't present
00:45:35 The Bible says Eve ate the fruit and gave it to her husband that was with her
00:45:40 Like we tell the story like Adams in one part of the garden Eve's in another Adams right there. He's present but not vocal
00:45:46 He's not leading
00:45:52 Y'all are talking to me
00:45:54 All he had to do in that situation is a lead and we are not in the situation. We're in but he went mute
00:46:03 All he had to do was leave he had influence with Eve all he had to do was lead
00:46:17 So it's not it's not always dangerous when he's asking for it it gets dangerous when he stopped
00:46:25 Dismissed number two y'all all right all right let me
00:46:36 Number two she didn't demonize his differences
00:46:44 He used to play a lot
00:46:45 He's do riddles. He played a lot his family's like you need to stop all that playing and he did play too much
00:46:50 He did he did play too much right that's an idiosyncrasy. That's that's a weakness he played too much
00:46:58 Yet at the same time
00:47:01 Just because his area
00:47:04 Where he needed to grow was different
00:47:08 Doesn't mean it should be demonized
00:47:12 You
00:47:14 Help me Holy Spirit
00:47:26 To say this um
00:47:30 we have
00:47:32 different interests different abilities different issues
00:47:37 and
00:47:39 I'm not saying
00:47:41 That we shouldn't grow. I'm not saying that we shouldn't adjust I am saying those differences shouldn't be demonized
00:47:47 So if somebody kind of like home
00:47:51 And you like outside
00:47:54 That's just a difference that shouldn't be demonized
00:47:58 You never want to go wait a minute don't I just
00:48:04 Am I am I making sense it's like
00:48:08 You
00:48:10 You're so boring wait a minute
00:48:16 Sometimes my wife and I like let's say we go away or something like that people ask what did you do? It's like nothing
00:48:27 You went all the way over there and did nothing yes
00:48:33 My life is scheduled enough
00:48:38 so
00:48:40 I enjoy
00:48:43 Nothing I had a blast
00:48:46 Doing nothing. I had the time of my life
00:48:50 doing nothing
00:48:53 But it will be really hard for me if my spouse demonized that
00:49:05 Because even though she's my spouse she don't sit in that seat and until you sit in this seat, you don't know that pressure like
00:49:13 And a person can the grace of God will make something look easy that's not
00:49:23 Just because it looks easy doesn't mean it doesn't feel hard
00:49:32 But sometimes there you know what I mean there are differences it could be the other way around this person likes outside this person likes inside
00:49:38 It's like hey find a happy medium without demonizing it
00:49:42 Does that make sense my pastor told me one time he was like okay now there is you don't have to do something sometime
00:49:50 He said you don't have to do something sometime and he said something it was so strong I'll never forget I'm done tar
00:49:57 He said if you don't all your wife's
00:50:01 recreational memories will be what somebody else and not you I
00:50:05 Said now we'll hold up a minute
00:50:10 Okay, I'm done tar number three
00:50:26 She didn't have a view of spirituality that diminished her sexuality
00:50:31 Play louder
00:50:54 Now here's the problem
00:50:56 She's a Philistine so she engages in idol worship. We got to acknowledge that right
00:51:00 So we got a nice yet at the same time. I think
00:51:05 There is a
00:51:09 Presentation of
00:51:14 Christianity that's been infused with something called Gnosticism
00:51:22 Which is really because you got to remember
00:51:24 Israel is under the
00:51:27 Roman Empire
00:51:30 During the time of Jesus's birth and ministry, right?
00:51:33 So a lot of Greek
00:51:36 philosophy
00:51:39 influenced the theology of
00:51:41 some followers of the way and so this whole idea of Gnosticism led to asceticism and monasticism this
00:51:49 drawing from the world because anything that was material and
00:51:53 Physical was evil and inferior
00:51:57 to that which was invisible
00:51:59 so it lead it led to a a
00:52:02 False view of biblical sensuality
00:52:10 So their shame
00:52:17 Associated with something that in the right covenantal context
00:52:24 Should be freely given and received without shame
00:52:34 But there is this Gnosticism that's perpetuated itself in Christianity and it's almost like
00:52:44 And so what ends up happening is
00:52:46 There is not the articulation and there is not the expression
00:53:03 To a man from a woman of her desire for him
00:53:14 Read Song of Solomon
00:53:18 And
00:53:22 People who try to say that's a metaphorical book that's some y'all want the metaphors
00:53:29 So I'm not it is not
00:53:36 It's not telling people to be something that you aren't
00:53:41 but it is
00:53:43 Speaking to the encourage it is speaking to the reality and encouraging you to be free
00:53:50 In the covenantal context that God has ordained
00:53:58 Am I making sense
00:54:03 He need that
00:54:08 See he need to know he wanted to
00:54:12 Boy I can't
00:54:18 Y'all understand
00:54:21 Do you understand thank you
00:54:24 He's done it and not just I'm not talking about physically emotionally
00:54:34 He wants to know I still do something for her that makes her want to pursue me
00:54:42 Number four she communicated with him without emasculating him
00:55:02 Him without emasculating him
00:55:04 What exactly is emasculation it refers to the act of
00:55:10 Undermining or diminishing a man's sense of masculinity through words actions or behavior that belittles him
00:55:17 Emasculation isn't disagreement a mass elate emasculation doesn't mean you have to do a person has diminished who they are
00:55:25 but there is a way to
00:55:28 express a position
00:55:31 without belittling the person and
00:55:34 Here's the truth emasculation
00:55:37 Doesn't just happen with women and men emasculation can happen like men can be disrespected by men
00:55:44 The difference is when men are disrespected by men we handle it different
00:55:47 Or we handle it immediately
00:55:51 Yeah, we're not walking around the house mad can't say that we handle it we handle it right there
00:55:59 But we don't we we can't handle it that way
00:56:02 in other circumstances
00:56:05 And it is not the intention of God
00:56:11 That any relationship
00:56:15 Causes any person male or female, but we're talking about me in this month sisters you next month me in this month
00:56:22 Where he's not
00:56:25 treated as an image bearer of God
00:56:29 when
00:56:31 This person became a woman's husband they didn't stop being God's son
00:56:38 Listen to me and is your relationship
00:56:43 Pushing him further
00:56:48 Into who he is
00:56:51 Like is it concretizing?
00:56:53 Who he is?
00:56:56 Or is it causing him to call that into question?
00:56:59 This is serious because we're declaring war on Delilah's
00:57:12 Not on people, but on what it represents
00:57:16 Someone trying to get a real need met in the wrong place
00:57:21 We're saying as a spiritual family we will not be a place that continues to perpetuate men living lives
00:57:28 That are less than God's best for them
00:57:50 They
00:57:52 Fighting for dignity all day every day
00:57:58 Dealing with so
00:58:04 That they got too much responsibility to acknowledge
00:58:17 Somebody hit me not too long ago about playing in his 40 and over basketball league. I said I'm too busy to get hurt
00:58:23 Y'all missed it they missed it I'm too busy to get hurt I
00:58:30 Got too much responsibility that I'm carrying to get hurt
00:58:38 The men in your life have too much responsibility
00:58:46 To
00:58:48 Deal with unnecessary hurt
00:58:51 So today I want to pray for I want to pray for men
00:59:04 Because when we're hurt
00:59:08 Our response is different
00:59:12 We may not cry, but it doesn't mean I'm not hurting
00:59:16 But one of my emotional mentors says to us all the time feelings buried alive don't die
00:59:29 That pain gonna show up in one way or another
00:59:38 We do not want it to show up in dysfunction
00:59:42 We don't want men sabotaging destinies over Delilah
00:59:44 So father I pray right now for each and every person in this room under the sound of my voice that needs you
01:00:04 The one who heals the brokenhearted
01:00:12 father would you
01:00:14 Would you tend to
01:00:16 The wounds of disappointment
01:00:19 Men are caring. I pray that you would minister to self-esteem that has been shaken
01:00:25 Wondering if they are wanted
01:00:32 I pray for wholeness and wisdom
01:00:40 And may the God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up wounds may you do it for the men in this room I
01:00:46 Ask this in Jesus name
01:00:49 Amen
01:00:52 Come on, put your hands together everybody
01:00:54 You
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