TV-G | 30min | Comedy, Drama, Family, Music, TV Series | Episode aired 18 November 1964
Cathy falls for the new boy at school, despite all of the advice given to her by the rest of the family.
Director: Claudio Guzmán
Writers: Arnold Horwitt, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Cathy falls for the new boy at school, despite all of the advice given to her by the rest of the family.
Director: Claudio Guzmán
Writers: Arnold Horwitt, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh Richard. Oh Patty. Isn't it all, you know. Gonesville. Yeah. I feel all spooky inside, like. Me too, like. What's the matter? My foot fell asleep.
00:21Richard. Do you suppose anybody ever felt this way before? How could they? I suppose maybe Romeo and Juliet. Maybe. Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo? French, Romans, countrymen. Lend me your ears.
00:45Romeo said that? Oh maybe it was Hamlet. Rich. What? You know what I wish? I wish Kathy could feel the way I do. About me? I'm not her type. Oh not about you. I mean, I wish she could meet a boy really flip for him.
01:12Kathy? Doesn't figure. No, I know. She's just too sensible and down to earth for anything like that to happen. Poor kid. Yeah, it is a shame. Hi Kat. We were just talking about you. What? How was the whip club meeting? Meeting? You did go to a meeting, remember?
01:38Oh, yes. It was wonderful. No kidding. What happened? There was a new boy there tonight. His name is Christopher Hubbard. I know Chris. He's a nice guy. Nice? He's the most handsome, wonderful, intelligent man I have ever seen.
02:09Meet Kathy who's lived most everywhere. From Zanzibar to Barkley Square. But Patty's only seen the sights a girl can see from Brooklyn Heights. What a crazy pair. But they're cousins. Identical cousins all the way.
02:37One pair of matching bookends. Different as night and day. Where Kathy adores a minuet. The ballet Russe and Crepe Suzette. Our Patty loves to rock and roll. A hot dog makes her lose control. What a wild duet. Still they're cousins. Identical cousins and you'll find.
03:02They laugh alike. They walk alike. At times they even talk alike. You can lose your mind when cousins are two of a kind.
03:14You know, Kath, I'm really dying to know. Exactly how did you and Christopher meet?
03:24Well, we haven't actually met yet. You see, he just dropped into the Lit Club and said he'd like to join. And then he sat in the corner all evening and listened.
03:36You mean you didn't talk to him at all?
03:38How could I? We haven't been introduced.
03:40Oh, you're the secretary of the Lit Club. Why didn't you go and introduce yourself?
03:44Oh, no. That would have been terribly pushy.
03:47Patty, can I borrow your dictionary?
03:50Ross, how many times do I have to tell you?
03:54Knock before you come in.
03:58Come in.
03:59Now, about that dictionary.
04:00It's in the desk. You can have it.
04:02Never mind. I'll get it.
04:04Thanks. Hi, Kathy.
04:07What's wrong with her?
04:09She's in love.
04:10Kathy? You're kidding. Who's the lucky guy?
04:13His name's Christopher Hubbard. He doesn't know she's alive.
04:17Why didn't she introduce herself?
04:19Oh, no. That would be terribly pushy.
04:23Kathy, it isn't that hard to make friends with a boy.
04:26You see? Even he says so.
04:28What's the trick? I mean, even Patty's got a fella.
04:31Get out. If you need any tips, Kathy, just come by.
04:35Out!
04:36I'll stare you straight.
04:37Out!
04:38Thank you, Miss Lonely Hearts.
04:44You know, for once, Mighty Mouse is right.
04:47It's your move with Chris.
04:49Patty, I can't just throw myself at him.
04:52Well, how is he gonna know you like him?
04:54I don't know.
04:56I've never felt this way about a boy before.
04:59Kathy, you need help, and you're gonna get it right now.
05:04Patty, you're not going to call him up?
05:07No, dear, I'm not going to call him up.
05:10And I'm not going to hire a sky rider
05:12to fly over Brooklyn Heights and spell out,
05:14Kathy loves Christopher.
05:16Hi, Rich.
05:17Oh, hi, Patty.
05:19How well do you know Christopher Hubbard?
05:21Well, he's in my math class.
05:23Great. Kathy wants to meet him.
05:25I didn't say that.
05:27Just a minute. You don't want to meet him?
05:29Of course not.
05:31You don't want to meet him?
05:32Of course I do.
05:34But I don't want Christopher to think
05:36that I'm brassy and forward.
05:38Oh, no, we must keep that a deep, dark secret.
05:42Rich?
05:43Kathy does want to meet him,
05:45only it has to be handled with great tact.
05:47Okay.
05:49Tomorrow, I'll tell him my girl's got a cousin
05:51who's flipped for it.
05:52No.
05:55Uh, Rich, I think you'll have to handle it
05:58with a little bit more tact.
06:01Hey, why don't you bring him
06:04to the shake shop after school?
06:06That way, you can kind of, uh, run into us there.
06:10Isn't that awfully sneaky?
06:12Absolutely diabolic.
06:15Rich, meet us there at about, uh...
06:183.30.
06:19Right.
06:21Good night, Juliet.
06:24Good night, Romeo.
06:28What time is it, Patty?
06:30Quarter to four.
06:31Well, I-I suppose I'd better go now.
06:33I have a lot of homework to do.
06:35You just sit right there.
06:37Oh, Rich, it's him.
06:39Is there anyone with him?
06:41Yeah.
06:42He's cute.
06:44I know.
06:47He's coming.
06:49Hi, what a surprise!
06:51Hi, Rich.
06:52I got here as fast as I could.
06:54Chris, uh, say hello to my girl.
06:57Patty Lane, Christopher Hubbard.
06:59Hello, Patty.
07:00Hi.
07:01Uh, this is my cousin, Kathy Lane.
07:04How do you do?
07:06Hello.
07:07Uh, won't you sit down?
07:09Uh, okay, uh, what do you have, Chris?
07:12Uh, nothing, thanks.
07:14I-I can't stay long.
07:16Oh.
07:17You're new in school, aren't you, Chris?
07:19Yes, uh, we just moved down from Boston.
07:22Oh, I love dear old Boston.
07:24It so reminds me of London.
07:26London?
07:27You were never there, Patty.
07:28Oh, no, but Kathy was.
07:30Weren't you, Kathy?
07:32Uh, yes.
07:34Uh, Kathy's been everywhere.
07:35London, Paris, Madrid, Rome, Florence.
07:38Florence?
07:39I have a cousin named Florence.
07:40Her father's a foreign correspondent.
07:42Her name's Florence Lawrence.
07:43That's an English name.
07:44And she speaks scads of foreign languages.
07:46And she plays the piano beautifully.
07:48And dances ballet.
07:50Patty.
07:51Oh, and she cooks like a dream.
07:53And makes all her own clothes.
07:55Oh.
07:58Uh, what are you majoring in, Chris?
08:00Uh, English.
08:02Kathy's an English major, too.
08:04Aren't you, Kathy?
08:06Yes.
08:08Uh, Kathy writes short stories and poems.
08:11And she's secretary of the Lit Club.
08:13Yes, I know.
08:14Uh, I was at the meeting last night.
08:16Oh.
08:17Were you?
08:19You know that.
08:21Can you cut that out?
08:23Uh, Chris, are you an author, too?
08:27Well, I've written some poetry.
08:29Really?
08:30Kathy, maybe you could arrange for Chris
08:32to read some of his poems to the Lit Club.
08:34I'd be very happy to.
08:35Thanks, but I don't like to read my stuff to people.
08:45When's the club meeting, Kath?
08:48Tuesday night.
08:51Chris, why don't you come over to our house for dinner
08:54and then you and Kathy can go on to the club together.
08:56Patty, please.
08:58Thanks, but I can't make it.
09:00Excuse me, I have to go to the library.
09:03Oh, Kathy, you were just on your way to the library, weren't you?
09:06No, I wasn't.
09:09Um, nice to meet you.
09:12So long, Richard.
09:13Bye, Chris.
09:14Bye.
09:21I'm sorry, Kathy.
09:25Thank you for trying.
09:27Forget it.
09:29And him, too.
09:33I'm sorry to be such a gloom.
09:44That's very pretty, Kath.
09:46Don't you like sad music?
09:48Kath, forgive me for butting in,
09:50but I gather there's a boy you're rather fond of, right?
09:55Well, now, you take it from me.
09:57A girl as attractive and bright as you are
09:59can have any young man that she goes after.
10:02It's very sweet of you to say so, Uncle Martin.
10:04Oh, that's true.
10:06The only thing is that, well, sometimes you have to,
10:09what's the expression, you have to come on strong.
10:13Come on strong?
10:14Well, it doesn't do any good to moon in a corner, does it?
10:18See, I think you should let this boy know
10:20that you think he's wonderful.
10:22Be open and direct.
10:26Open and direct.
10:27Absolutely.
10:29How do you think your Aunt Natalie landed me?
10:34Then you don't mind if I give you a bit of advice, Kathy?
10:37No, of course not, Uncle Martin.
10:39Then you don't mind if I give you a bit of advice, Kathy?
10:41No, of course not, Aunt Natalie.
10:43Well, it's very simply this.
10:46See, men, or boys,
10:48are attracted by the unknown, the unpredictable.
10:53They are?
10:54Oh, every time.
10:56You can't go around with your heart on your sleeve.
10:59You have to be aloof and mysterious.
11:07Mysterious.
11:08Absolutely.
11:09How do you think I landed your Uncle Martin?
11:16If you really want to hook this fella,
11:18you've got to be feminine and clingy.
11:21Feminine and clingy?
11:23Yeah.
11:24You know, bat your eyes,
11:26and look mushy.
11:29Bat my eyes,
11:31and look mushy.
11:33Really?
11:34Scout's honor.
11:35Scout's honor?
11:36How do you think Nicky Lee landed me?
11:39Thank you, Ross.
11:41Hi, Kath.
11:42How do you feel?
11:44Fine.
11:45I was just learning how to land Christopher.
11:47Oh?
11:48How?
11:49All I need do is be open and direct,
11:53aloof and mysterious,
11:57and bat my eyes.
11:59Mushy.
12:01Who said that?
12:02Uncle Martin, Aunt Natalie, and Ross.
12:04In that order.
12:05Oh, you can forget what they said.
12:07I've got the real answer.
12:09What's that?
12:10I was just watching this movie on TV.
12:12Passion's Plaything?
12:13It's all about this gorgeous French actress,
12:16Caresse Capri.
12:17She has every man in Paris at her feet.
12:19You know how she does it?
12:20How?
12:21She treats them like dogs.
12:24Like dogs?
12:25Mm-hmm.
12:26You know, mean and rotten.
12:28Gilles, you are a devil.
12:31You've lied to me, betrayed me, destroyed me.
12:36But what can I do, chérie?
12:38I adore you.
12:40Ah!
12:42Adore.
12:45That wasn't very nice of her.
12:47Oh, but it paid off.
12:49Caresse, if you do not come back to me,
12:51I will throw myself in the sea.
12:53And she didn't.
12:54And he did.
12:56Patty, what does all that to do with...
13:00Christopher and me?
13:02Everything.
13:03Kathy, you've got to start treating him like a dog.
13:06I can't do that.
13:07Well, you want to land him, don't you?
13:09Oh, yes, but then you've got to operate.
13:12Proud, haughty, cruel.
13:15So he said, how about a date Saturday night?
13:17And I said, sorry, I'm busy.
13:19So he said, how about a date next Saturday night?
13:21And I said, sorry, I'm busy.
13:22So he said, how about a date the Saturday after that?
13:24And I said, sorry, I'm busy then, too.
13:26And you know what?
13:27What?
13:28The next day he sent me the biggest box of candy you ever saw.
13:31Oh, that's wonderful.
13:34Then you've got to operate.
13:36Proud, haughty, cruel.
13:42Are you sure I look all right, Patty?
13:44You look irresistible.
13:45I wish I felt that way.
13:47Look, Kathy, Rich went to a lot of trouble to arrange this rematch.
13:51Don't chicken out now.
13:53They're here.
13:54Steady, girl.
13:56It's open, Rich.
14:04Hiya, beautiful.
14:05Hiya, Kath.
14:06You remember my friend, Chris?
14:09Oh, didn't we meet the other day?
14:12Yes, in the malt shop.
14:14Oh, yes, yes, of course.
14:16You're Christopher Hubble.
14:19Hubbard.
14:20Hubbard.
14:21Oh, sorry.
14:23Would you like to come to the living room?
14:29Won't you sit down?
14:31Hey, Patty, let's see what's to eat.
14:33Oh, yeah.
14:44Kathy?
14:45Yes?
14:47About that meeting next Tuesday.
14:51Meeting?
14:52Of the lit club.
14:54I'll be there.
14:55Oh, how nice.
14:58And I've changed my mind.
15:00I'd like to have the club hear some of my poems.
15:05Oh, do you write verse?
15:08Yes.
15:10In fact, I brought some of my poems with me.
15:14Would you like to hear them?
15:16Uh, why don't you just leave them on the table
15:19and I'll look at them when I have a chance.
15:21Hey!
15:25They're out of ice cream.
15:26Let's go do the shake shop bit and live a little.
15:29All right.
15:30Uh, Kathy, remember, you have to be home by 10.
15:34I do?
15:36Uh, Kathy's expecting a long-distance call
15:38from a Hollywood actor.
15:39Calls are almost every night.
15:41Yeah?
15:42Gee, I didn't know Kathy knew an actor in Hollywood.
15:47Well, shall we?
15:57That was weird.
15:59Can we sit down now and talk?
16:01I'd love to.
16:03Keep dancing.
16:05Kathy, please, let's sit this one out.
16:08Well, you may if you wish.
16:10Oh, Lou, Lou, come on, you're playing our song.
16:12Excuse me.
16:17Kathy, you were really terrific.
16:19Patty, how long do we have to keep this up?
16:22Until he's hopelessly in the palm of your hand.
16:28Hello?
16:30It's Chris.
16:32Uh, gee, Chris, I'm sorry.
16:35Uh, Kathy's on the other phone.
16:38What other phone?
16:40Shh.
16:42Remember, you're talking to an actor.
16:44Remember, you're talking to an actor in Hollywood.
16:46Oh, no, Patty, I can't do that.
16:48Oh, maybe you can, but I can't.
16:50Uh, hello, Chris?
16:52Could you hold on a minute, please?
16:54Okay.
16:58Ah!
17:00Yes, I do wish I was with you.
17:03Sitting there watching the sun set on the Pacific.
17:06Troy.
17:08Troy.
17:09Shh.
17:12What's that, dear?
17:14You're going to fly east just to see me?
17:18Oh, yes.
17:20I'll fit you in somehow.
17:22Patty.
17:24Shh.
17:26Uh, hello, Chris?
17:28Gee, I don't know when Kathy's gonna be off the phone.
17:32Why don't you try her in the morning?
17:35Night.
17:37Patty, why do we have to do this?
17:40Because you're in love, and that's all-out war.
17:51Hey, Richard, I-I need your help.
17:54I'm crazy about Kathy, but I don't know how to handle her.
17:57Well, what's to handle? Kathy's a nice, quiet girl.
18:01That's what I thought.
18:03I fell for the first time I saw her at the lit club.
18:06No kidding.
18:08You sure didn't act like a guy who was in love when I introduced you.
18:11It's because I like her so much.
18:13Huh?
18:15I-I'm shy with girls.
18:17Especially a girl I-I really go for.
18:20I-I don't know. I just freeze up.
18:23Man, you've got a problem.
18:26You know, I was so glad you arranged that double date last night.
18:30You know, I thought I could relax and-and start being-being friendly, but...
18:34Kathy came on like gangbusters.
18:37Yeah, she sure acted spooky.
18:40And now I can't even get her on the phone.
18:43She's-she's always talking to some Hollywood big shot.
18:46Chris, you need help.
18:48I know.
18:49And I've got the answer.
18:50What?
18:51There's just one way to handle a woman.
18:54Treat her like a dog.
18:59Okay, I'll do it.
19:08Hello?
19:09Hello, Kathy.
19:10Chris Hubbard here.
19:12Oh.
19:14Hello, Chris.
19:17Hello.
19:19I'm, uh, seeing you tonight, Kathy, see?
19:23What?
19:24We're going to, uh, that piano recital at the art hall, see?
19:28I-I'd like to do that.
19:30Well, fine.
19:31Uh, I'll call for you about 8 o'clock.
19:33Okay.
19:34I mean, uh, meet me there.
19:358 sharp, see?
19:38All right.
19:39I'll be there.
19:41Bye.
19:48Who was that?
19:49Christopher.
19:50He invited me to a piano recital.
19:52Great.
19:53I'm supposed to be there at, uh, 8 o'clock.
20:00Be there?
20:02You mean he's not picking you up?
20:04No.
20:05He sounded so masterful, I-I just said I'd be there.
20:09Oh, Kathy.
20:12I'm sorry.
20:15Meet him at 8, huh?
20:17Well, we know how to handle that.
20:30Hi.
20:34Kathy.
20:35I'm here.
20:36You're 30 minutes late, though.
20:38Am I?
20:40How naughty of me.
20:45Two, please.
20:47That'll be a dollar.
21:00Excuse me.
21:15Thank you, Chris.
21:16It was a very interesting evening.
21:18I'm so glad.
21:19Fascinating, in fact.
21:21And since we're never going to see each other again,
21:24I'd like to say you're the rudest boy I've ever met.
21:28Then that makes us even.
21:30I don't mind going Dutch.
21:31I really don't.
21:32But you could at least have asked me.
21:34And you could at least have been on time.
21:36That's right.
21:37I was late, wasn't I?
21:3830 minutes.
21:40I probably had a premonition
21:42that I'd be spending an interminable evening
21:44with an unmitigated bore.
21:45Oh, well, don't worry.
21:46It won't happen again.
21:47It certainly won't.
21:48And don't expect me at the lit club.
21:50I just resigned.
21:51How delightful.
21:53Good night.
21:54You mean goodbye.
21:59Good night.
22:10Kathy.
22:11I'm sorry.
22:12I'm sorry, please.
22:13I'm not really like that.
22:15Kathy, forget everything I said, everything that happened.
22:18Just remember one thing.
22:20I'm crazy about you.
22:23That's when it hit me.
22:25Oh, Don.
22:26What kind of a nut was I to have listened to Richard?
22:30Richard?
22:31He told me the only way to get a girl
22:34is to treat her like a dog.
22:37Richard told you that?
22:39Hmm?
22:40What's so funny?
22:42Patty told me that that was the only way to get a boy.
22:47And all the time, you were...
22:51Well, better go.
22:53Good night, Kat.
22:54Good night, Chris.
22:56I'll see you tomorrow?
22:57Mm-hmm.
23:13How was your date, Kat?
23:15Oh, lovely.
23:19Lovely.
23:20You see? It's all in knowing how to handle a boy.
23:23That's right.
23:24You bet.
23:25You can say that again.
23:33I, uh, ordered the shakes, uh, extra thick.
23:36Good. Thank you.
23:49Don't they look good?
23:52Flip time.
23:54Just like us.
23:55Mm-hmm.
23:56You know, for a while, I thought they'd never get together.
23:59Me either.
24:00But they did.
24:01I'm really glad I was able to make it all happen.
24:04Yeah.
24:05What do you mean you were glad to make it happen?
24:07That's right.
24:08I told Kathy how to handle Chris, and that was that.
24:14Correction.
24:15I told Chris how to handle Kathy, and that's what did it.
24:18Uh, Richard, I, I really don't mean to contradict you,
24:21but it was me.
24:23Uh, no offense, Patty, but it was me.
24:28Richard, I have always known you were arrogant and conceited,
24:31but there are limits.
24:33Patty, I wish you would come out of orbit with these facts.
24:36Come out of orbit?
24:37Yes.
24:38I didn't think that was a joke.
24:39You think you can talk to me like that?
24:41You've got a little problem.
24:42It's okay.
24:43Don't worry.
24:44She was bad.
24:45She was fine.
24:46And I can't...
25:01Here's Kathy who's lived most everywhere
25:04From Zanzibar to Berkeley Square
25:07But Patty's only seen the sights
25:09A girl can see from Brooklyn Heights
25:11What a crazy pair!
25:13But they're cousins
25:16Identical cousins
25:18And you'll find
25:20They laugh alike
25:21They walk alike
25:22At times they even talk alike
25:24You can lose your mind
25:26When cousins
25:29Are two of a kind