TV-G | 30min | Comedy, Drama, Family, Music, TV Series | Episode aired 23 October 1963
Patty and Cathy have a slumber party at their house for some of their girlfriends. The Richard, Henry, Tom and another boy show up at the door, before the party starts. Little brother Ross tapes the girls' conversations during the party and uses it for blackmail against Patty and Cathy. The two cousins end up doing his chores, to keep Ross from playing the tape to others, and wait on him constantly. Patty and Cathy turn the table on Ross and everything works out fine in the end for the entire Lane family. All info I have submitted is from the credits listed during the show and from watching the show.
Director: Stanley Prager
Writers: Pauline Townsend, Leo Townsend, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Patty and Cathy have a slumber party at their house for some of their girlfriends. The Richard, Henry, Tom and another boy show up at the door, before the party starts. Little brother Ross tapes the girls' conversations during the party and uses it for blackmail against Patty and Cathy. The two cousins end up doing his chores, to keep Ross from playing the tape to others, and wait on him constantly. Patty and Cathy turn the table on Ross and everything works out fine in the end for the entire Lane family. All info I have submitted is from the credits listed during the show and from watching the show.
Director: Stanley Prager
Writers: Pauline Townsend, Leo Townsend, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Do you think 30 sandwiches will be enough?
00:06No, there are going to be eight of us.
00:08This is my very first slumber party.
00:11You've lived in Europe too long, cousin.
00:13Time you got acquainted with some of our swinging American customs.
00:18What does one do at a slumber party?
00:20Everything but slumber.
00:22Oh, boy.
00:23Mom, tell him.
00:25Ross, these are for the slumber party.
00:27Can I join the party?
00:28No.
00:29If you step one foot out of your room tonight, I'll clobber you.
00:32Who wants to watch a bunch of crazy girls in pajamas anyway?
00:35You've seen one, you've seen them all.
00:37Mom, couldn't you put them up for adoption?
00:39Gee, they look good.
00:41Maybe I could have the gang over for a cookout Saturday.
00:43Oh, I don't know. Why not?
00:45Because my girls' club is meeting here Saturday.
00:47Oh.
00:48Maybe the Saturday after that.
00:50Oh, I'm afraid my civics club is meeting here,
00:52but we'll find a day for your cookout.
00:54Sure.
00:55Will you please get out of my way?
00:59Who were we expecting, the Sixth Army?
01:01The Eighth.
01:03Do you want to play a game of chess, Dad?
01:05You don't play chess.
01:07You could teach me. I'm a quick learner.
01:09No, not tonight, son.
01:11Then will you watch television with me?
01:13Yeah, I've got some reading to do.
01:15Sure.
01:17Well, I guess I'll go to bed.
01:19Have a nice party.
01:23Gee, I wish there was someone in the family younger than me so I could pick on them.
01:27Oh, leave me alone.
01:32They're here.
01:34Mom.
01:35We're going. We're going.
01:39Wish I knew how customs like this got started.
01:42Make it a lot easier to help stamp them out.
01:49I've heard of camping out, but this is ridiculous.
01:52Oh, come on, older generation.
01:55Well, we made it.
01:57Is there anything to eat?
01:59Stow your gear and we'll go up and change.
02:16Ouch!
02:18Get out of here, you Benedict Arnold.
02:21What did you do that for?
02:22Well, I was walking in my sleep.
02:24Then stop running in your sleep, Buster.
02:26All the way up to your room.
02:27If you come down here once more tonight, I will personally kill you.
02:30Boy, when I grow six more inches, am I going to get you.
02:38Meet Cathy, who's lived most everywhere.
02:41From Zanzibar to Berkeley Square.
02:44But Cathy's always in the sights that girls can see.
02:47When high school bars seem fair.
02:51Cousins.
02:53My beautiful cousins on the way.
02:57Pair of matching bouquets.
03:00Different as night and day.
03:03For your Cathy, the door's a menuette.
03:06The Butler, your roots.
03:08The cookery, Suzette.
03:10Cathy's a surrogate mother.
03:12Makes you lose control.
03:14All of my babies feast in their cousins.
03:18My beautiful cousins and your mom.
03:22They laugh and they roar.
03:23They walk like a team.
03:24They even talk like a crew.
03:26And you can't lose your mind.
03:28With cousins.
03:30You are two of a kind.
03:36The one that they weren't on us needs help.
03:38They were.
03:39Me, I just don't dig it.
03:41You've got to get the beat.
03:44That's great.
03:45Mother.
03:47To throw back to the stone age.
03:53Boys!
03:55The enemies of the age.
03:57Friend or foe, I can't face them looking like this.
04:00Cathy, you hold the beast in bed
04:01till we get these bird's nests out of our hair.
04:05I'm in my night clothes.
04:06Put the chain latch on the door.
04:07The lawyer man upstairs says no boys allowed.
04:16Hiya, Cathy.
04:17I'm sorry, Richard.
04:18I can't let you in.
04:19Yeah, I know, but I'm already in.
04:21Where's the goon squad?
04:23The what?
04:24The fillies from up at Janesville.
04:25The girls.
04:26Oh, they'll be here in a second.
04:28They had to get some things out of their hair.
04:30As long as it's not us.
04:32Greetings, monsters.
04:34It's the wolf pack.
04:35So toss us our little red riding hood, wench.
04:38Down, fag.
04:41You can't turn us out like this.
04:43It hurts us worse than it hurts you.
04:45Good night.
04:46Don't think it hasn't been fun.
04:47Don't be hasty, girl.
04:48The night's still young.
04:49Yeah, and so are we.
04:50And that's what the law man upstairs says,
04:52and that's why you have to leave.
04:54Bye.
04:55Whoever thought of boys must have made a million dollars.
04:59Then somebody came along and thought of girls.
05:01Think of the money there must have been in that.
05:09I'm famished.
05:10Boys give me an appetite.
05:12Do you think our parents ever went to slumber parties?
05:14They didn't have them in medieval times.
05:18Can you picture our history teacher at a slumber party?
05:21Oh, Tuttle the Terrible.
05:23I can't picture her doing anything.
05:25She was born an old maid.
05:26The trouble with Miss Tuttle is
05:28that before she gets through with it,
05:29she makes certain that history is dead.
05:31Miss Tuttle can make Roman history
05:33sound a little more interesting.
05:35I mean, she was there.
05:37You know who's a snap?
05:39Mr. Henderson.
05:40Mr. Henderson.
05:41Give him the big toothy one,
05:43and it's an automatic B at least.
05:45Oh, I wish those boys didn't have to go.
05:48Speaking of boys,
05:50how about that absolute dreamboat in our chemistry class?
05:54That new boy, Paul Martin?
05:56He's really all time.
05:58But you have Richard.
06:00Oh, Richard's all right.
06:01But Paul has that certain something that Richard hasn't.
06:05I know, a new car.
06:07No, it isn't that.
06:09I mean, Paul seems so worldly.
06:13I wonder what it would be like to kiss him.
06:16Why don't I find out and let you know?
06:19Maybe I'll find out for myself.
06:29Natalie, are you awake?
06:31Yes, are you?
06:33No, I'm talking in my sleep.
06:37Do you know what time it is?
06:39Don't tell me.
06:40It's 3 o'clock in the morning,
06:41and those kids are still awake down there.
06:43Well, of course.
06:44They're having a slumber party.
06:47Somebody must explain that to me sometime.
06:50Do you remember the block parties we used to have
06:52when we were kids?
06:53That was different.
06:55Oh?
06:56Oh, I was expected to be asleep
06:58by 3 o'clock in the morning.
07:00Don't you think we're being too permissive with Patty?
07:03Of course not.
07:04I told her she couldn't have a slumber party.
07:11Listen to them.
07:13They sound like a gaggle of geese.
07:15What in heaven's name do they find to talk about all night?
07:18Boys, food, boys, teachers,
07:24boys, clothes, boys.
07:29I'll certainly be glad when they're over this stage
07:31and a few years older.
07:33No, you won't.
07:35Why not?
07:37Because Patty and Kathy will probably be married
07:39and living in their own homes.
07:41And we'll remember tonight
07:42and them downstairs with their friends
07:44at 3 o'clock in the morning.
07:45And we'll be grateful for tonight.
07:48Yeah.
07:51Can't win, can you?
08:00Good night, dear.
08:04You wanna bet?
08:12Thanks, Patty and Kathy.
08:13It was dreamy.
08:14We'll do it again next week.
08:16My house next time.
08:17Okay.
08:18Gee, I hope breakfast is ready when I get home.
08:21Bye-bye now.
08:22Bye.
08:23Good night, Patty.
08:24Bye.
08:27I'm exhausted.
08:29It's the first time in my life
08:30I've ever stayed up all night.
08:31Yeah, but wasn't it a gasp?
08:33Are human beings allowed in here now?
08:35Hi, Papa.
08:36Good morning, Uncle Martin.
08:37How was the orgy?
08:38A blast.
08:39Yeah, that's what it sounded like from upstairs.
08:41Oh, I'm sorry if we kept you awake.
08:43Think nothing of it.
08:44I'm gonna curl up with a good newspaper.
08:46Your mother is upstairs sleeping off the party.
08:49That's what I'm going to do.
08:50I can't stay awake another minute.
08:52Me too.
08:53Richard's taking me to the movies this afternoon.
08:55I don't wanna fall asleep
08:56in the middle of 13 bony men.
09:02Hello.
09:14Do you know who's a snap?
09:16Mr. Henderson.
09:17Give him the big toothy one and it's an automatic...
09:22Be at least.
09:24The trouble with Miss Tuttle is
09:26that before she gets through with it
09:28she makes certain that history is dead.
09:32Wait.
09:33It's exactly what we said last night.
09:35Word for word.
09:37Observe the handwriting.
09:38It's that of Brother Rat.
09:40But how could he?
09:42I don't know how could he.
09:43But we're gonna find out.
09:53He's escaped.
09:59Come on.
10:06Hey, you.
10:07Oh, hi, girls.
10:08You promised you weren't gonna listen in on us last night.
10:11Who says I did?
10:12I hand you exhibit A.
10:13And here is exhibit B.
10:16I wasn't sure whether to write that or...
10:18That new boy, Paul Martin,
10:20he's really all time.
10:23Keep talking.
10:25Oh, Richard's all right.
10:27Paul has that certain something that Richard hasn't.
10:30And you can stand here and tell us you weren't listening?
10:33Yep.
10:34That's what I'm doing.
10:35Standing here and telling you I wasn't listening.
10:37Then how?
10:38Remember the tape recorder I got for my birthday?
10:40You taped that conversation?
10:42There's some real juicy stuff on it.
10:44I like the part where...
10:45Never mind.
10:47That tape.
10:48Locked in the safety vault at the bank
10:50with orders that if anything happens to me
10:52it'll be played at my funeral.
10:54It's not in any safety vault.
10:55This is Sunday.
10:56Hand it over.
10:57See my attorney.
10:58I'll see your parents.
10:59That's who I'll see right now.
11:01One word to Mom and Dad
11:02and I'll play the tape for Richard.
11:05Ross.
11:06Why are you doing this to me?
11:09What have I done to you?
11:10Nothing.
11:11But all of a sudden last night it hit me
11:13that no matter how old I get
11:15I'll never be older than you.
11:17Now for a while I can be.
11:18I want a little attention paid to me around here.
11:21Why are you doing this to me?
11:23You're just an innocent bystander.
11:25When I find that tape
11:26I'm going to strangle you with it.
11:28You won't find it.
11:29By the way, I've got a lot of homework.
11:30I'd like it done by tomorrow.
11:32Why should I do your homework?
11:33Not you.
11:34Kathy.
11:35I don't want to flunk.
11:38Why should I do your homework?
11:39The trouble with Miss Tuttle is...
11:41Where is it?
11:42On my desk.
11:44You can make my bed and clean my room.
11:48You monster.
11:49If you think you're going to get away with it...
11:51It all seems so worldly.
11:53I wonder what it would be like to kiss you.
11:58What are we waiting for?
12:10Hi, Richard.
12:11Hey, you're...
12:12You're not even dressed.
12:15I can't go to the movies with you.
12:17What's the matter?
12:18You sick or something?
12:20Not exactly, but you're warm.
12:23The family grounds you?
12:26Well, then what's the matter?
12:28I just can't go, Richard.
12:30I've got a headache, I think.
12:32You think?
12:33Either you've got one or you haven't.
12:36I've got one.
12:37A big one.
12:38It's bigger than both of us.
12:41Someone else?
12:43How could you say such a thing?
12:45Easy.
12:46I've seen you eyeing that Paul Martin character in Chemistry Kid.
12:49It doesn't mean a thing to me.
12:55You go on to the movie, Richard.
12:56I want you to enjoy yourself.
12:58Enjoy myself?
13:00Go to a movie alone?
13:02I'll never understand women if I live to be 30.
13:13The capital of Uruguay is Omaha, Buenos Aires...
13:17Montevideo.
13:18Why?
13:19Hello, Uncle Martin.
13:21I just thought it was time we learned more about our Latin American neighbors.
13:27That's Ross' homework you're doing, isn't it?
13:30Ross had an important ball game.
13:33And you're cleaning up his room for him.
13:36You never set foot in here.
13:37You always said it wasn't fit for pigs.
13:40It is now.
13:44How did he con you two into this?
13:46Oh, he didn't.
13:47We offered to do it.
13:49He looked sort of pale and we told him to go out and get some fresh air or something.
13:55Girls, are you sure everything is all right?
13:58Fine, Uncle Martin.
14:00Sure.
14:01We'll do this for Ross and he'll do something for us someday.
14:06I'd like to live that long.
14:13We must be more careful.
14:14Yeah.
14:16Listen, I've got an idea.
14:18You take this side of the room and I'll take that side.
14:20That tape has got to be here someplace.
14:37You must have swallowed it.
14:38Perhaps he has it buried somewhere.
14:41It has to be here.
14:42It has to be here.
14:44But I give up.
14:45Come on, Kathy, let's go.
14:48Go.
14:50Oh!
15:04Martin, there's something funny going on around here.
15:07I know.
15:08Patty and Kathy are upstairs cleaning Ross' room.
15:10Well, he had a very important ball game.
15:13Patty even broke a date with Richard to go to the movies.
15:17Wish I knew what was going on.
15:20Why don't we ask this gentleman?
15:21I have a feeling he knows.
15:24Hi, Mom.
15:25Dad.
15:26What's wrong?
15:27Is my face clean or something?
15:29Ross, I saw Kathy doing your homework today.
15:33And I saw Patty cleaning your room.
15:36How do you like that?
15:37You can't beat girls.
15:38All we want to know is why.
15:41It's just because Patty's a great kid.
15:43After all, she comes from wonderful parents.
15:45Flattery will get you nowhere.
15:47What have you got on her?
15:49Gosh, can't a girl do a good deed for her brother without everybody getting suspicious?
15:53In your case, no.
15:55It's the unanimous opinion of her wonderful parents that something shady is going on.
16:00Dad, there isn't.
16:01She just loves me like a brother, that's all.
16:04Whatever it is, we'll probably never find out.
16:07You know something?
16:09I'm glad.
16:20Thanks.
16:24You may leave.
16:34Turn it on.
16:39Not that one, channel seven.
16:45You may go.
16:53You may go.
17:03Bye-bye.
17:19Dear Daddy, the other night I went to my first slumber party.
17:24At a slumber party, you don't sleep.
17:27Don't ask me why.
17:34He's giving me a coffee break.
17:37There must be some way to stop him.
17:39Do they sell hand grenades to miners?
17:42I don't think you'll have to find out.
17:44I have an idea.
17:46We can't drown him in the bathtub, he never takes a bath.
17:50I know how to find out where he's hiding that tape recorder.
17:53We will have to wait for the proper time.
17:56But I know it will work.
18:03Can I please speak to Paul Martin?
18:34Paul?
18:35It's Patty, dear.
18:39Oh no, I'm sure Richard doesn't know anything about it.
18:44Oh, the same meeting place?
18:47That's wonderful, he'll never find it.
18:50Paul...
18:52You really do?
18:55Well, I feel the same way about you, too.
18:58I'm sure he'll never find it.
19:00Well, I feel the same way about you, too.
19:04The same place.
19:08Tomorrow?
19:11Darling, you know I'll be there.
19:15Bye.
19:31Here is his secret weapon.
19:33Thanks, Kat.
19:35The reign of the little king is almost over.
19:38I shall summon his majesty.
19:42Ross?
19:44Ross?
19:46Patty would like to talk to you a moment.
19:49Yes, dear.
19:51I have a letter for you.
19:53Oh, what is it?
19:55It's a letter from the King of England.
19:57Ross?
19:59Patty would like to talk to you a moment.
20:01What does she want?
20:02I'm watching television.
20:03I don't know.
20:04She said it was important.
20:10What is it?
20:11Come over here where we can't be heard.
20:13Listen, I'm worried.
20:15Mom and Pop are beginning to wonder about all the service you're getting.
20:18So what?
20:19What they don't know won't hurt them.
20:21What if they find out?
20:23Why should they?
20:24I fool them all the time.
20:25Oh, do you really?
20:26Are you kidding?
20:27I can wrap them around my little finger anytime I feel like it.
20:30You can?
20:31How?
20:32There's nothing to it.
20:33If I want something from Pop, I tell him how great his editorials are.
20:37But you really think so, don't you?
20:39Who reads them?
20:41How do you handle your mother?
20:43That's easy.
20:44She eats up flattery.
20:45She comes down in the morning looking like a mess.
20:48I tell her how beautiful she is and the world's my oyster.
20:51Well, if it's as easy as all that, I guess we don't have to worry.
20:54All you have to worry about is me.
20:56By the way, I'm running a little short of my allowance again.
20:59I'll take care of you.
21:01I knew I could count on you.
21:03You certainly can.
21:17Patty!
21:18Kathy!
21:25Hey, didn't you hear the bell?
21:27Sure.
21:28We heard it.
21:29Well?
21:31We have something for you to hear.
21:37There's nothing to it.
21:38If I want something from Pop, I tell him how great his editorials are.
21:44Not this time, buddy boy.
21:47The king is dead.
21:50Long live the queen.
21:52Long live the queen.
21:54You aren't going to play that for Mom and Dad, are you?
21:56You bet we are.
21:58I was only showing off.
22:00You know I love them.
22:01It would hurt their feelings.
22:02Look who is suddenly worried about hurting people's feelings.
22:06All right.
22:07We won't give it to them.
22:08As long as you do exactly what we tell you.
22:15All right.
22:17You may leave.
22:20Do you know, Patty?
22:22I feel sorry for him.
22:24Save your sympathy.
22:26We've got him just where we want him.
22:32Ross?
22:33Hi, Dad.
22:43Do you know what it's going to mean having our own private slave?
22:46He'll do our chores, run our errands.
22:49Hi.
22:50Oh, hi, Papa.
22:51Now, you two seem very happy.
22:53We are, Uncle Martin.
22:58You know, Ross doesn't seem very happy.
23:00I'm worried about him.
23:01Oh, don't worry about Ross.
23:03We'll take care of him.
23:05I have a hunch that he feels he's being neglected.
23:08I promise you, he's not going to feel that way anymore.
23:12Good.
23:13I know sometimes he's inclined to show off a little bit,
23:16but that's the only way he can fight back.
23:19Fight back?
23:20Well, being the youngest member of a family can be very painful,
23:23particularly if you're a sensitive boy with an older sister.
23:27Now, we all get so busy with our own problems sometimes
23:30that we forget how important Ross's problems can seem.
23:34All he's looking for is love and recognition.
23:37Well, he gets plenty of love,
23:39but I'm not sure we've been giving him enough recognition.
23:42So I know I'm going to try a little harder,
23:45and I'm glad you're going to help.
23:47Well, going back to what you were doing.
23:55Patty.
23:57Don't say it.
24:00We lost our slave.
24:06Any more hot dogs?
24:07I want some more chili.
24:09Sure, we're loaded.
24:11Do you mean to tell me you ate all that food already?
24:14You'll get sick.
24:15I don't care.
24:17What?
24:18If I get sick,
24:19you make the best hot dogs and chili in the whole block.
24:23Thanks.
24:24Promise you won't think I'm a sissy if I tell you something?
24:27Promise.
24:29I love you.
24:35I love you, too.
24:37Shh, not so loud.
24:38I don't want the guys to hear.
24:46♪
24:59Here's Kathy who's lived most everywhere
25:02From Zanzibar to Barkley Square
25:05But Patty's only seen the sights
25:07A girl can see from Brooklyn Heights
25:09What a crazy pair
25:11But they're cousins
25:14Identical cousins
25:16And you'll find
25:18They laugh alike
25:19They walk alike
25:20At times they even talk alike
25:22You can lose your mind
25:24When cousins
25:26Are two of a kind