My Son, the Hero (1943)
66 min | Comedy, War | 5 April 1943 (USA)
A father writes creative letters regaling his son, an overseas war correspondent, with fantastical tales of his work to raise war bonds, something he must prove after he learns that his son is coming home for a visit.
Director: Edgar G. Ulmer
Writers: Doris Malloy, Sam Newfield (additional dialogue)
Stars: Patsy Kelly, Roscoe Karns, Joan Blair
66 min | Comedy, War | 5 April 1943 (USA)
A father writes creative letters regaling his son, an overseas war correspondent, with fantastical tales of his work to raise war bonds, something he must prove after he learns that his son is coming home for a visit.
Director: Edgar G. Ulmer
Writers: Doris Malloy, Sam Newfield (additional dialogue)
Stars: Patsy Kelly, Roscoe Karns, Joan Blair
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01:30All right, go to the corner.
00:01:37One, two, three, four, five, five or ten, that's all, brother, he ain't going away tonight.
00:01:46Okay, he's all yours.
00:01:47Come on, baby.
00:01:48Come on.
00:01:49Upsy-daisy.
00:01:50Upsy-daisy.
00:01:51What do you mean, give me $25?
00:01:52Our deal was for 50.
00:01:53We didn't have any deal big time.
00:01:55What do you mean, give me $25?
00:01:56Our deal was for 50.
00:01:57We didn't have any deal big time.
00:01:58For the time kid slugged Lansing.
00:01:59He made more money than the president.
00:02:00What do you mean?
00:02:01Why, he lasted 12 seconds, didn't he?
00:02:02Yeah.
00:02:03Well, $25 for 12 seconds?
00:02:04That's $2 a second.
00:02:05How many seconds in a year?
00:02:06You figure that out.
00:02:07All right, I'll take a bill till the income tax collector.
00:02:08Come on, baby.
00:02:09Come on.
00:02:10Let's finish the sleep at home.
00:02:11Come on.
00:02:12Upsy-daisy.
00:02:13Upsy-daisy.
00:02:14Come on.
00:02:15Upsy-daisy.
00:02:16Upsy-daisy.
00:02:17Upsy-daisy.
00:02:18Upsy-daisy.
00:02:19Upsy-daisy.
00:02:20Come on.
00:02:21Come on.
00:02:22OK, kid, hand it over.
00:02:23Who are you kidding?
00:02:24Look, Slug owes me a lot of bank alimony,
00:02:25and tonight I'll set you for a little token payment.
00:02:26Now look, Gernie, look.
00:02:27The kid's in no condition to discuss finances.
00:02:28He's tired, see?
00:02:29Why don't you drop around the hotel tomorrow?
00:02:30Nothing doing.
00:02:31I'll take my cut tonight.
00:02:32You and Gillette ought to incorporate.
00:02:33There he goes again.
00:02:34Come on, kid.
00:02:35I'll leave him on the floor.
00:02:36It looks more natural.
00:02:37Come on.
00:02:38Upsy-daisy.
00:02:39Upsy-daisy.
00:02:40Upsy-daisy.
00:02:41Upsy-daisy.
00:02:42Upsy-daisy.
00:02:43Upsy-daisy.
00:02:44Upsy-daisy.
00:02:50It's all over.
00:02:51There you are.
00:02:52There you are.
00:02:53It's all right.
00:02:54It's all right.
00:02:55It's all right.
00:02:56What happened?
00:02:57What happened?
00:02:58Oh, hello, kid.
00:02:59Hiya, fella.
00:03:00Say, where are you kids going?
00:03:01Over at Charlie's Steakhouse.
00:03:02Well, I'm on my way to work.
00:03:03I wasn't going to drop you off.
00:03:04Hey, it's better than walking.
00:03:05That's a good idea.
00:03:06Come on.
00:03:07Let's go.
00:03:08OK, thanks.
00:03:09Come on, kid.
00:03:10Yeah.
00:03:11The reason I like Charlie's place,
00:03:12boy, they give you a steak three inches thick,
00:03:14smothered with onions, and with all the trimmings.
00:03:17You know, I think I'll have a New York cut.
00:03:20And maybe a filet mignon.
00:03:22You'll get a summons if you don't kick in.
00:03:24Hey, look, kid.
00:03:25If you eat tonight, tomorrow you'll be hungry.
00:03:27Is that right?
00:03:28Yeah, right.
00:03:29Then I'll have a steak tomorrow.
00:03:30Now, you don't get me.
00:03:31Now, take this dough we made tonight.
00:03:32When we got it, what have we got?
00:03:33Dough we made?
00:03:34Here today and gone tomorrow.
00:03:35Now, look.
00:03:36I know some of the boys over at Gertie's place.
00:03:38They're long on dough, see?
00:03:40And I'm feeling plenty lucky tonight.
00:03:42Congratulations.
00:03:43Maybe I'll have some pastrami soup with my steak.
00:03:45Hey, Nick.
00:03:46Get in the car, will you?
00:03:47Give me a newspaper.
00:03:48Who wants one?
00:03:49Read about the latest news.
00:03:50Hey, kid.
00:03:51Yes, sir.
00:03:52Give me a paper, will you?
00:03:53Yes, sir.
00:03:54A change for $10?
00:03:55No, sir, but I'll go and get it for you.
00:03:56See you tomorrow.
00:03:57Get going, Nick.
00:03:58OK, big shot.
00:03:59What'd I tell you?
00:04:01The kid's got the stuff.
00:04:02What kid?
00:04:03He's a regular chip off the old block.
00:04:05What are you talking about?
00:04:06My son, my boy.
00:04:07That's him.
00:04:08That's Mike.
00:04:09Oh, he even looks like me, don't he?
00:04:11You see that belligerent jaw?
00:04:13Oh, what do you think?
00:04:14You're kidding.
00:04:15My son, my dad.
00:04:16Here, here, kid.
00:04:17Isn't that Michael?
00:04:18Look.
00:04:19Let me see it.
00:04:21Maybe I need glasses.
00:04:23Not that I don't take your word for it.
00:04:26That's him, OK?
00:04:27I know him anywhere.
00:04:28Even if I never saw him before in my life.
00:04:32Thanks, William.
00:04:33Give me $20 worth of blues.
00:04:36Face your bets, gentlemen.
00:04:45$25.
00:04:54Give me $5 worth of it.
00:04:55Yes, sir.
00:05:07$34 on the red.
00:05:16$25 on the red.
00:05:19Guess that's all.
00:05:20Good night, gentlemen.
00:05:31Oh, well, it's about time.
00:05:33Can I order the steak now?
00:05:34Well, not right now.
00:05:35No, no, don't tell me.
00:05:36Yeah.
00:05:37Oh, but it's only a temporary postponement.
00:05:39Yeah, but what if I could tell my stomach?
00:05:41Hey, Gurney, let me solve that, will you?
00:05:43Hey, Gurney, let me solve that, will you?
00:05:44I still feel lucky.
00:05:45Stop it.
00:05:46You'll have me crying.
00:05:47Let's get out of here.
00:05:52Steak.
00:06:01We're in luck, kid.
00:06:02The clerk's out.
00:06:07Ah, Mr. Morgan.
00:06:08Just the man I want to see.
00:06:10May I speak with you, please?
00:06:12Oh, certainly, certainly.
00:06:13A little matter of your bill of $18.
00:06:15Long overdue.
00:06:16$18?
00:06:17$18?
00:06:18I thought I told you to take care of that.
00:06:19What bill?
00:06:20I know from nothing.
00:06:21Such an odd figure.
00:06:22He can't remember.
00:06:23$18.
00:06:24Well, have you got change for a $1,000 bill?
00:06:27A $1,000 bill?
00:06:28$1,000 a night, isn't he?
00:06:30I thought you told me about the change.
00:06:32You can't break it?
00:06:33Well, I'll see you about it in the morning.
00:06:34Oh, say, by the way, we owe you $18.
00:06:37Now, could you let us have $7?
00:06:38I need a little small change.
00:06:40$18 and $7 is $25.
00:06:41That's easy to remember.
00:06:42$25.
00:06:43Yes, that's right.
00:06:44That's right.
00:06:45Oh, this is very, very nice of you.
00:06:47$5.
00:06:48$5.
00:06:49$6.
00:06:50$6.
00:06:51$7.
00:06:52Oh, this is real sweet of you.
00:06:53Now, don't forget to remind me about it in the morning.
00:06:54Oh, uh, confidentially, the manager's
00:06:57very upset about your room.
00:06:58Confidentially, so is the room.
00:07:01Tell him not to worry.
00:07:02I'll make my own bed.
00:07:03That's the point.
00:07:04The mattress has got to be aired one day this week.
00:07:07And every time the girl goes there, somebody's sleeping.
00:07:09Can't you make it up anyway?
00:07:11I don't know.
00:07:12Uh, here's a telegram for you.
00:07:14Telegram?
00:07:15Oh, probably from New York, Madison Square Garden,
00:07:17about our big fight.
00:07:18You know.
00:07:19Maybe it's the finance company.
00:07:20Put it back, will you?
00:07:21I'll get it in the morning.
00:07:22Good night.
00:07:23Good night.
00:07:24Good night.
00:07:27Let's see.
00:07:31$18.
00:07:33Barred $7.
00:07:34That makes $25.
00:07:38$1,000 bill.
00:07:43Maybe I ought to give them the hotel.
00:07:48Hey, get him.
00:07:54Isn't he wonderful?
00:07:57Hey, sleeping beauty.
00:07:59Come on, hit the road.
00:08:00Oh, let me alone.
00:08:01Go away.
00:08:02I'm sleepy now.
00:08:04Oh, you're not sleepy now.
00:08:05I'm sleepy now.
00:08:06Come on, I've been working.
00:08:08You've been working?
00:08:09Yeah.
00:08:10You've been working?
00:08:11Yeah.
00:08:12Where's the money?
00:08:13Yeah, where's the money?
00:08:14That's what I want to know.
00:08:15Never mind the money, Tony.
00:08:16Roll out and let the kid go to sleep.
00:08:17Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:08:18I'm exhausted.
00:08:19Come on.
00:08:20Come on.
00:08:21Hit the road.
00:08:22Hey, big time.
00:08:23He's got him on again tonight.
00:08:24Tony, come here.
00:08:25Come here.
00:08:26Let me tell you something.
00:08:27Please.
00:08:28Please.
00:08:29I don't mind you boring my socks, my shirts, my ties,
00:08:30but my pajamas, her purse.
00:08:31Oh, please.
00:08:32Don't get exhausted.
00:08:33No.
00:08:34Now, where's the pants?
00:08:35Here they are.
00:08:36Hello.
00:08:37Hey.
00:08:38Here.
00:08:39Now, this will keep you warm.
00:08:40No, no, no, no, no.
00:08:41I prefer the pajamas.
00:08:42I feel much better with them.
00:08:43Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, kid.
00:08:44Over there.
00:08:45I'm sleeping in the bed tonight.
00:08:46I got a lot of heavy thinking to do tomorrow.
00:08:48Look, big time.
00:08:49Why must we sleep with these enemy aliens?
00:08:51You see?
00:08:52Every time I do something he does not like,
00:08:54he calls me enemy aliens.
00:08:56Look here.
00:08:57I come here in this country in 1929 with Primo Carnera.
00:09:01I stay in this country.
00:09:02I love America.
00:09:04I hate Benny Deluxe.
00:09:06Benny Deluxe?
00:09:07Who's he?
00:09:08Mussolini, the guy that sticks his chin out.
00:09:10Look, big time.
00:09:11I'm tired.
00:09:12How can you expect a guy to sleep on his gimmick?
00:09:14You slept there plenty of times before.
00:09:16You ought to be used to it now.
00:09:18I guess you're right.
00:09:20You know, big time's got a son.
00:09:22He's a big hero.
00:09:23He's got his picture in all the papers.
00:09:25He's got a son?
00:09:26Where is his wife?
00:09:27Where's his wife?
00:09:29I guess you're right.
00:09:30Hey, big time, where's your wife?
00:09:32I don't know.
00:09:33Sin's kind of restless.
00:09:34She travels a lot.
00:09:36Haven't seen her for years.
00:09:38She travels.
00:09:39Haven't seen her in years.
00:09:40Did you get a divorce?
00:09:41Well, uh, well, Sin did.
00:09:43You see, it was like this.
00:09:44She's been at Palm Beach for a long time.
00:09:47And a friend of mine came to Philadelphia for the weekend,
00:09:49a brunette.
00:09:50Well, Sin saw us together, and she misunderstood.
00:09:52Did you try to explain?
00:09:54Yes, but she wouldn't listen.
00:09:56After all, it was a purely platonic friendship between us.
00:10:00Beautiful bedtime story.
00:10:03Good night.
00:10:05Good night.
00:10:10Alien, alien, alien, alien, you rascal.
00:10:18Took the boy and tried to put him in Philadelphia society.
00:10:21Sent him to Harvard, all that sort of thing.
00:10:23But not my boy, no sir.
00:10:25He was a war correspondent.
00:10:26We did a little over Tokyo.
00:10:29Used to have a lot of good times together.
00:10:31Yeah?
00:10:32And he looked like me.
00:10:34Except that he had her mouth, her nose, her eyes.
00:10:55Oh, come in, Gus.
00:10:56Big time.
00:10:57You and I have been pals for quite a number of years.
00:11:00So I took the liberty of opening that telegram.
00:11:03Oh, not tonight, Gus.
00:11:04I can't take it, really.
00:11:05You've got a son, haven't you?
00:11:07Yes.
00:11:08Well, this telegram's from him.
00:11:17Oh, thanks, Gus.
00:11:18Thanks.
00:11:19Go on, beat it, will you?
00:11:20Go on.
00:11:21Hey.
00:11:22Hey, you mucks.
00:11:23Come on, wake up.
00:11:24Wake up, look.
00:11:25He's coming here.
00:11:26He's going to be our guest.
00:11:27What, another one?
00:11:28Don't you think it's going to be a little crowded?
00:11:30Here, read it, will you?
00:11:32Dad, arriving Sunday afternoon, Union Airport, 545.
00:11:36Have two days to spend with you.
00:11:38Michael.
00:11:39Isn't that great?
00:11:40Isn't it great?
00:11:41Resident.
00:11:42Only if he finds me in a place like this, you know,
00:11:44I've been spreading it out pretty thick.
00:11:46I'm supposed to be rolling in dough.
00:11:47Since when?
00:11:48I've got a mansion.
00:11:49I've got a rich wife, a beautiful stepdaughter, and servants.
00:11:51Brother, when it comes to lying, you're the champ.
00:11:54He's going to find out what his father really is,
00:11:56a broken down tramp.
00:11:59Hey, big time.
00:12:00I got an idea.
00:12:01Why don't we talk to Gert?
00:12:02She could dope the whole thing out.
00:12:03She's got something there, kid.
00:12:04Come on, let's get dressed.
00:12:08Now I sleep in the bed again.
00:12:16Don't worry about nothing.
00:12:17Sure fix everything.
00:12:20Hey, Gertie, let me in.
00:12:25Oh, would you go away, or I'll call the cops.
00:12:27Now, wait a minute, Gertie.
00:12:28Don't get excited.
00:12:29We just want to talk to you.
00:12:30Well, it's a fine time to start a coffee clutch.
00:12:33What coach?
00:12:34Well, it's like this, baby.
00:12:35Big time's on the fellow's way out here, see?
00:12:37And we've got to put on a big front for him.
00:12:39What front?
00:12:40Second front?
00:12:41Oh, never mind.
00:12:42Let it go.
00:12:43I'll see you tomorrow, characters.
00:12:45Characters.
00:12:46Come on, we've got a long way to walk.
00:12:49There he is.
00:12:50Say, Mr. Morgan, a big time.
00:12:51How's it feel to be the father of a hero, Mr. Morgan?
00:12:53Let's have one with your hat on.
00:12:55Smile.
00:12:56Is it true you were decorated at Bella Woods?
00:12:58How about a picture of you in your legionnaire's uniform?
00:13:01Is there a tradition of bravery around the Morgan family?
00:13:03Well, strangely enough, that's true.
00:13:05There was a Morgan in every war.
00:13:06Now there was General Morgan.
00:13:07OK, take it, kid.
00:13:08I'm ready.
00:13:09Everybody serious, please.
00:13:10Say, do you have a baby picture of him?
00:13:12Oh, I'll tell you about the boy.
00:13:13He's a regular chip off the old block.
00:13:15Yes, we understand your son is coming
00:13:16to Hollywood to visit you.
00:13:17That's right.
00:13:18I got a wire from him last night.
00:13:19Weren't you divorced from Cynthia Berkeley?
00:13:22What year was that?
00:13:23That was way back in, how about a picture over the desk,
00:13:25Mr. Morgan?
00:13:26We'll have the clerk be handing you the wire.
00:13:28Big time.
00:13:29I'm looking for you.
00:13:30This hyena, he takes my picture in the shower tub.
00:13:33The bellboy, he takes the suitcases.
00:13:35They throw us out.
00:13:36What's the idea of throwing us out of our room?
00:13:38We're moving you to a six-room suite, Mr. Morgan.
00:13:40It's in the penthouse on the 13th floor.
00:13:42The 13th?
00:13:43Oh, no, not me.
00:13:44That's an odd number.
00:13:45We want you to be the guest of the Cosmo Hotel, Mr. Morgan.
00:13:48That is, if your son will favor us by stopping here.
00:13:51Look, big time.
00:13:52Maybe he'll put in room service, too.
00:13:53Well, I don't know, you know.
00:13:54Room service?
00:13:55Anything you want, Mr. Morgan.
00:13:57Now, now, don't refuse.
00:13:59You know the Cosmo service.
00:14:01That I do.
00:14:02Right this way.
00:14:07Charge it to the hotel.
00:14:09Yeah, that's right.
00:14:10You got it?
00:14:11And there were tears of pride in the father's eyes
00:14:13when he learned that his son had been cited for bravery.
00:14:17Yeah.
00:14:18OK.
00:14:22Come in.
00:14:26Oh, boy.
00:14:27Here, I'll drag it in.
00:14:28Did you bring that third steak?
00:14:29Yes.
00:14:30Are you still eating?
00:14:31Hey, you're lucky I ain't hungry.
00:14:33Come on, put it down.
00:14:35You sure you wouldn't want to top this off
00:14:37with a nice leg of lamb or a sugar-cured ham or something?
00:14:40Not me.
00:14:41What, do you think I'm a pig?
00:14:42This has got to last me until lunchtime.
00:14:44What's the matter, big time?
00:14:45We got a wonderful apartment.
00:14:47He's got the food.
00:14:48Oh, my beautiful America.
00:14:50Yeah, you sure got yourself in a swell spot, big time.
00:14:52Yeah, I'm one for the book.
00:14:54All my life, I've been writing to Michael
00:14:56asking him to be a right guy so I could be proud of him.
00:14:59And the kid believes me.
00:15:00He turns into a hero.
00:15:01Well, what are you beefing about?
00:15:02Looks like an OK setup.
00:15:03In fact, it looks like the dough to me.
00:15:05What about my Beverly Hills mansion, my rich wife,
00:15:07my beautiful stepdaughter?
00:15:08Well, that's a large order.
00:15:10Let's do some thinking.
00:15:13Not you.
00:15:15Not you.
00:15:20I got it!
00:15:21You remember Sam Duncan of the Western Building and Loan?
00:15:24Sam Duncan?
00:15:25Sure I remember.
00:15:26Well, Sam's got a heart like a cup of custard.
00:15:27Watch him come through.
00:15:28I told her you're going to come through.
00:15:30Come through with what?
00:15:31Well, you want a house, don't you?
00:15:32Sam's got one with all the fixing.
00:15:33Swimming pool, mortgages, back taxes, everything.
00:15:35Sam moved to a hotel, see, because his wife flew in.
00:15:38Like the birds, huh?
00:15:40Prospect 1497.
00:15:41It's a cinch, see?
00:15:42You can have my chauffeur and my car,
00:15:43all of my cars in the shop.
00:15:44Yeah, that's a big help.
00:15:45Well, you still have Nicodemus,
00:15:46and he has a friend that works for a guy that's out of town.
00:15:48You can have his car.
00:15:49I'd like to speak to Mr. Duncan, please.
00:15:51Excuse me, please.
00:15:52I think you're all crazy.
00:15:54I go to bed.
00:15:55Oh, hello, Sam.
00:15:56Oh, Sam, is that you?
00:15:58Well, this is me, Gertie.
00:16:00Oh, hello, Gert.
00:16:02Oh, wait just a minute.
00:16:08Yes, Gert?
00:16:09Remember that Santa Barbara deal?
00:16:11Well, I'm awfully sorry.
00:16:14Mm-hmm.
00:16:15Look, Sam, I'd like you to do me a favor.
00:16:17Good, I knew I could count on you.
00:16:19Samsy-whamsy.
00:16:20Hey, who's the polo guy you're giving the business to?
00:16:22Oh, just a minute.
00:16:23Has anyone got the afternoon paper?
00:16:25I want to see the kid's picture.
00:16:26Say, Tony, go down to the corner and get Gertie a paper.
00:16:28Oh, no, no.
00:16:29Can't the kid get it?
00:16:30Here, you got a nickel?
00:16:31No, I haven't.
00:16:32I didn't think so.
00:16:33Well, here.
00:16:34And hurry.
00:16:35Gee, I hope it's a good picture.
00:16:36Yeah, fine, sure.
00:16:37Hello, Sam?
00:16:38Uh, Sam, I'd like to borrow your house for a few days.
00:16:41Well, I...
00:16:42I hardly know why.
00:16:44Oh, thank you.
00:16:45Oh, all right.
00:16:46Oh, I'll take good care of it.
00:16:47I'll leave it in the same condition as I find it.
00:16:50Yeah, sure.
00:16:51Oh, uh, Sam, where are the keys?
00:16:54Oh, that's fine, Sam.
00:16:55Sure, Sam.
00:16:57Ah, thanks a lot, Sam.
00:16:58All right, I'll see you soon.
00:17:00Okay, Sam.
00:17:01Goodbye, Sam.
00:17:02Have a Sam.
00:17:04Swell kid.
00:17:08Uh, you know, uh, we better be kind of careful with this heap.
00:17:12Uh, Samson was telling me that the insurance has, uh, collapsed.
00:17:18Stop worrying, Nicodemus.
00:17:19We'll take care of the car.
00:17:21There's the place.
00:17:29It was a place like this I had in mind when I wrote to Michael.
00:17:32Sam's got quite a dump.
00:17:34Are you sure this is the place?
00:17:35In my country, only Benito Deluxe could live in a palacio like this.
00:17:41Nicodemus, take the car around back and bring in the bag.
00:17:47I'll have it open in a jiffy.
00:17:50Sam.
00:17:51The cops.
00:17:52Wait a minute.
00:17:53Oh!
00:17:54I almost forgot.
00:17:56There we are.
00:18:06What a layout for a trading place.
00:18:08Boy, we could put the boxing ring here.
00:18:10All right, quiet.
00:18:11Put the punching bag over here.
00:18:12The pulleys over here.
00:18:13Quiet!
00:18:16Just trying to keep it shaped.
00:18:32Hey, wait a minute.
00:18:33Hey, wait a minute.
00:18:34Before we go any further, who's going to clean this dump?
00:18:37Don't worry about a thing.
00:18:38Leave it to me.
00:18:39Never in my life I expect to find myself personally in such a place.
00:18:44Hey, Kurt!
00:18:45Look what I found.
00:18:50Leonardo da Vinci.
00:18:54Come on, buy this kid a Coke.
00:19:00Cut it out, will you?
00:19:01Yeah.
00:19:02Must have been the third steak he ate.
00:19:07Excuse me.
00:19:21Now, if I could only dream up a rich wife.
00:19:23What about Opal?
00:19:24She's the redhead who used to live down the hall from me.
00:19:26No, Nick's not Opal.
00:19:27She's too much the boisterous type.
00:19:28Opal's a good kid.
00:19:32Gertie.
00:19:34Gertie!
00:19:35Hey, what are you digging at?
00:19:36Zig fell okay at me.
00:19:37You mean Mizky, don't you?
00:19:38Yeah.
00:19:39Yeah, if he kind of wore your hair straight back
00:19:41and wiped some of that lipstick off your mouth.
00:19:43Now, wait a minute.
00:19:44Wait a minute.
00:19:45What's the matter with my getup?
00:19:46I've had no complaints since then.
00:19:47I mean, you could be my wife.
00:19:49Well, that...
00:19:51Why, big time.
00:19:52This is so sudden.
00:19:53Let's get into you, honey.
00:19:55Oh, no, no.
00:19:56I mean, while Michael's here.
00:19:57Come on, now.
00:19:58Be a good kid.
00:19:59What about my job?
00:20:00Good.
00:20:01They never fire you.
00:20:02Let's take a look at the rest of the layout.
00:20:03Come on.
00:20:04All right.
00:20:08Hey, we're pals, aren't we?
00:20:09Will you do this for me?
00:20:10We'll see.
00:20:11We'll see.
00:20:27Beautiful.
00:20:30This must be the master suite.
00:20:32Hey, so where does the old lady sleep?
00:20:35We'll find out.
00:20:36See what's in there.
00:20:37Take it easy.
00:20:38Anything can happen.
00:20:41No privacy.
00:20:42Hey, I'm not going to sleep in here.
00:20:44Try that one.
00:20:51Well, this is more like it.
00:20:53Then you will be my wife?
00:20:56Nice couple.
00:20:57I hope they'll be very happy.
00:20:59Hey!
00:21:01Hey, hold it.
00:21:02Hold it.
00:21:03Let's get this thing straight.
00:21:04Who's going to be whose wife?
00:21:05Now, this is the kind of a joint I can bunk in.
00:21:07You know, I should have been an interior decorator.
00:21:10I'd put ruffles on these library shelves.
00:21:12Hey, wait a minute.
00:21:13What you been telling her big time?
00:21:14Well, that's a pinch, kid.
00:21:15She's going to be my wife.
00:21:16Oh, no, she is.
00:21:17Gert's my old lady.
00:21:18Ain't she, Gert?
00:21:19Oh, now, wait a minute.
00:21:20I'm trying to do you guys a favor.
00:21:21I don't get hot, kid.
00:21:22Well, all right.
00:21:23I'll go out and build a pop-tent in the bathroom.
00:21:25But I'm watching it.
00:21:26I may be a dope boy, but I ain't stupid.
00:21:29What about the stepdaughter?
00:21:30She's supposed to be young, pretty, and intelligent.
00:21:33I don't know any engineers.
00:21:34Say, maybe my girlfriend.
00:21:37She's got a name, Rosita.
00:21:39Maybe she can be the stepdaughter, eh?
00:21:41How old is she?
00:21:42Oh, just a bambino.
00:21:4332 years old.
00:21:44Oh, that's right.
00:21:4532?
00:21:46And she's going to be my daughter?
00:21:47No, thanks.
00:21:48I resign.
00:21:49Now, think, Gert.
00:21:50Think.
00:21:51Oh, don't get personal.
00:21:52Say, there was a kid carrying cigarette
00:21:54trays at the club, only she quit after two nights
00:21:56on account of the wolves.
00:21:57Wolves?
00:21:58Excuse me, please.
00:21:59Does she live in the woods?
00:22:00No.
00:22:01She's working in a restaurant.
00:22:02All right.
00:22:03Get in touch with her and see what you can do.
00:22:04Well, there was another girl.
00:22:05She's a model at Magnum.
00:22:06Gert, I leave it up to you.
00:22:07Tony, go down to the drugstore and get us some chow.
00:22:10Yeah, listen.
00:22:11In charge is his fam.
00:22:12He's good for it.
00:22:13You know, I think that first girl will be just right.
00:22:15She's young, sweet.
00:22:25Coffee, Mr. Morgan?
00:22:27No, thank you.
00:22:28Thanks, Lemmy.
00:22:35You know, I think we're missing something.
00:22:37There's nothing like a quiet evening at home.
00:22:39You ain't going sentimental, are you, big guy?
00:22:41For the first time in my life, I'm beginning
00:22:43to envy people who have homes, families, something
00:22:46to work for, a place to come to, like this.
00:22:49You know, maybe it's time for me to get
00:22:51a place to come to, like this.
00:22:53You know, maybe Cynthia was right.
00:22:55Those Philadelphians know how to live.
00:22:57They're sturdy, reliable.
00:22:59They're not always chasing rainbows.
00:23:01Sam lives in this house.
00:23:03He's chasing rainbows.
00:23:06He's not happy.
00:23:07Well, I wasn't happy in Philadelphia.
00:23:09But I could be now, if only Cynthia.
00:23:13Who, Cynthia?
00:23:15Son's wife, see?
00:23:16Michael's mother.
00:23:17You know, sometimes I think I'd get married.
00:23:20Now, tomorrow, Rosita Chico.
00:23:22Oh, Rosita.
00:23:24She's beautiful.
00:23:26Maybe you'll like her.
00:23:27Then, I marry her.
00:23:29Rosita who?
00:23:31I do not know her last name.
00:23:33Maybe you two ought to get acquainted.
00:23:35That's a good idea.
00:23:39I think I understand what you mean, big guy.
00:23:42Remember, kid, in Salt Lake City,
00:23:44when we had the little fella?
00:23:46Yeah, I wish the kid could have lived.
00:23:48Don't you, Kurt?
00:23:49Oh, yes.
00:23:51And no.
00:23:52When I look at you, maybe it was for the best.
00:23:55The trouble with you, Gertie, is that you're not human.
00:23:57You're just like me.
00:23:58I've lived that way all my life.
00:24:00You know what we are, all of us?
00:24:01We're phonies.
00:24:02That's what we are.
00:24:03Phonies.
00:24:04That's right.
00:24:08Somebody answer.
00:24:10You answer.
00:24:11You're the bodyguard.
00:24:12You answer.
00:24:13You're the butler, ain't you?
00:24:14What butler?
00:24:15While you gentlemen fight it out,
00:24:17a lady will answer the door.
00:24:19What lady?
00:24:23It's your fault.
00:24:26Ah, come in, Nancy.
00:24:27We've been expecting you.
00:24:28Am I late?
00:24:29No.
00:24:30Now, do you remember the setup?
00:24:31I'm supposed to be your mother.
00:24:33Hello, Ma.
00:24:34Mother, please.
00:24:35Now, I'll take you in and introduce you to Stepfather.
00:24:37Why, don't Stepfather.
00:24:38Come.
00:24:41Here she is, big time.
00:24:42May I present Miss Cavanaugh.
00:24:44Nancy.
00:24:45Mr. Morgan.
00:24:47Stepfather, my dear.
00:24:48And I want you to meet Mr. Rosenthal.
00:24:50Hello.
00:24:51Look, girlie.
00:24:52This is for the record.
00:24:53Your ma is my wife.
00:24:54He's your stepfather.
00:24:55I'm your uncle.
00:24:56And there's your cousin.
00:24:57Oh, I don't understand.
00:24:58Well, it is a little complicated.
00:25:00Now, I'd like you to meet Tony.
00:25:02Nancy.
00:25:03Welcome to our family of phonies.
00:25:05Now, don't pay any attention to Tony.
00:25:07He's always talking out of turn.
00:25:08Now, would you like to see your room?
00:25:10Of course you would.
00:25:11Well, see you later, boys.
00:25:13All right.
00:25:15A couple of things I'd like to get straight, girlie.
00:25:17This is strictly on the up and up, I hope.
00:25:20Sure it is.
00:25:21Five dollars a day and no personality.
00:25:23Is that right?
00:25:24Right.
00:25:25Five bucks a day.
00:25:26Better than slinging hash.
00:25:27Well, come on over here.
00:25:28Let's have a look.
00:25:34Help yourself.
00:25:35Wear anything you want.
00:25:36Only remember, they must all be back on the hooks by Wednesday.
00:25:39I can't imagine anyone having so many clothes.
00:25:42Neither can I.
00:25:43That's not important.
00:25:44I've known a lot of regular guys who are out of the elbow.
00:25:46You know what I mean.
00:25:48Wouldn't it be wonderful?
00:25:49I mean, suppose you had a father and he bought you everything.
00:25:53Hmm.
00:25:54If it was your father, it would be all right.
00:25:58Come in.
00:26:02I'm turning in early and I just came to say goodnight to my stepdaughter.
00:26:05Goodnight, Mr. Morgan.
00:26:06Oh, you'll have to do better than that.
00:26:07Call me Dad.
00:26:08Goodnight, Dad.
00:26:09And you better practice calling Gertie Mother.
00:26:11I won't forget.
00:26:12Goodnight, Dad.
00:26:13Goodnight, daughter.
00:26:16Goodnight, Jack.
00:26:18Goodnight, Mother.
00:26:20Oh, goodnight.
00:26:38Where you are?
00:26:39Just want to say goodnight, kid.
00:26:41Goodnight.
00:27:07You look like you, Dad.
00:27:08Oh, I haven't known you anywhere.
00:27:09Only you look more like your mother now.
00:27:11She says the same thing about you.
00:27:13Especially when I pitch a tall one.
00:27:15You know, you can't always talk to women.
00:27:16Yeah, that's right.
00:27:18She calls me a chip off the old block.
00:27:21How are things with you now, Dad?
00:27:22Oh, terrific.
00:27:23I'm making money hand over fist.
00:27:24I've invented a new kind of a gadget that will probably revolutionize the entire war scene.
00:27:29A gun sight.
00:27:30You know what I mean.
00:27:31Yes.
00:27:32Mother said you were quite inventive.
00:27:34Look, Dad, I'm in a situation.
00:27:35I need help.
00:27:36Well, you can tell me anything.
00:27:37I'm a pretty good fixer.
00:27:38That's all I understand.
00:27:40I'm going to sell $100,000 worth of war bonds in the next two days.
00:27:44You know, it's asking a lot, but...
00:27:46Well, could you sort of stage it for me?
00:27:50I mean, with knowing all the people that you must know, you know,
00:27:52and with your backing, it'll be a cinch.
00:27:55It's really important to me, too, Dad.
00:27:56A lot of people don't realize it yet, but we've all got to pitch in.
00:27:59Why, sure we have, of course, son.
00:28:01I'll fix it up tomorrow.
00:28:02Now, don't worry.
00:28:08They're here now.
00:28:10Hello, Michael.
00:28:11Here we are.
00:28:12Let me take your things.
00:28:14May I present myself?
00:28:15Michael.
00:28:16Well, it's a great pleasure, Michael.
00:28:17How do you do?
00:28:18This is Miss Cavanaugh.
00:28:19Dad's son.
00:28:21Hello, Michael.
00:28:22You're my stepsister?
00:28:23That's right.
00:28:27Didn't expect you.
00:28:29I have other people I want you to meet.
00:28:30This is Mr. Rosenthal.
00:28:31Glad to see you.
00:28:32Glad to see you.
00:28:33He's my husband's bodyguard.
00:28:35And this is Mr. Tony, our major donor.
00:28:39He's strictly from KP, if you take me.
00:28:41And this is Rosita, my girlfriend and the cooks.
00:28:44How do you do?
00:28:45How do you do?
00:28:47How about a slug?
00:28:48I mean, how about refreshments?
00:28:49Sure.
00:28:50All right, this way.
00:28:53All right, wait a minute.
00:28:54Back off, back off.
00:28:55Scram.
00:28:56You're supposed to be the help.
00:29:02You know, you're looking fine.
00:29:03What'll it be, Michael?
00:29:05Oh, any old soft drink will do.
00:29:06I don't think we have any of those.
00:29:07How about a fast limeade?
00:29:08Swell.
00:29:09Good.
00:29:10How about you, Nancy?
00:29:11Oh, I'll have a limeade, too, please.
00:29:12I was thinking of the drugstore.
00:29:13Nicodemus!
00:29:14Yes, ma'am?
00:29:15I read all about you in the papers.
00:29:17How'd you get to Tokyo?
00:29:18Now, Gertrude, never mind the details.
00:29:20It's a military secret.
00:29:22It's no secret at all.
00:29:23We left Fran and returned to Shangri-La.
00:29:27Come and ride on us, Miss Gertie.
00:29:29Here I am.
00:29:30Yes, ma'am.
00:29:31What's your pleasure?
00:29:32There'll be two fast limeades for these squares.
00:29:34I mean, the people.
00:29:35And we'll have the same.
00:29:37Yes.
00:29:38Say, Dad, may I use your phone?
00:29:39I'd like to call Mom.
00:29:40Oh, certainly.
00:29:41Telephone, Nicodemus.
00:29:42Wait a minute.
00:29:43Wait a minute.
00:29:44You're not going to call Philadelphia, are you?
00:29:45No, she's right here in town.
00:29:48Um, what'd you say?
00:29:49She's here in town at the Ambassador's.
00:29:51Your mother's here in town at the Ambassador's?
00:29:52Yeah, the hotel.
00:29:53Gertrude, mother's here in town at the Ambassador's.
00:29:55The Ambassador's.
00:29:56Nice hotel.
00:29:57I used to get my mail there.
00:30:00Say, Dad, maybe you'd like to join us for dinner?
00:30:02Of course, Mrs. Morgan will be included.
00:30:04Well, won't you drag her over here?
00:30:05I mean, we'd be enchanted to have her for dinner.
00:30:08Wouldn't I right, dear?
00:30:10Surprise, Gertrude.
00:30:12Yes, surprise.
00:30:13Well, after all, we are grown up.
00:30:15This is 1943, not 1890.
00:30:18Thank you, Mrs. Morgan.
00:30:19You're welcome, Mr. Morgan.
00:30:22I hope she's out.
00:30:33No matter what you tell me, I still don't feel good.
00:30:35Ha, ha, ha.
00:30:37You look ravishing, Gertie.
00:30:39Yeah, you look swole, Gertie.
00:30:41Hey, what's that mass practice?
00:30:42Look, Big Tom, I'm a little nervous.
00:30:44How about just one?
00:30:45All or short.
00:30:46Make it in between.
00:30:47I need it, but I promise to stay out.
00:30:48Apple one.
00:30:49Word of honor.
00:30:50Thanks, Big Tom.
00:30:53You know, this is practically my coming out party.
00:30:56You know, this is practically my coming out party.
00:30:59You know, this is practically my coming out party.
00:31:02My debut in society.
00:31:06She really looks swole, kid.
00:31:08Beautiful.
00:31:09Hey, wait a minute.
00:31:10She's my wife.
00:31:11You don't have to worry about me.
00:31:12You know that.
00:31:13Oh, I ain't worried about you, all right.
00:31:14It's her.
00:31:16She's so repulsive.
00:31:18Well, you better go downstairs and throw in a ration card.
00:31:20OK.
00:31:21I hope.
00:31:24Oh, I'm sorry, Michael.
00:31:25I got lipstick on your tongue.
00:31:27It's all right.
00:31:28Mother always does.
00:31:29Only she kisses me.
00:31:31Right here.
00:31:32You know, you shouldn't be in my room.
00:31:34Why not?
00:31:35You're my sister, aren't you?
00:31:36Step sister.
00:31:38I'm glad.
00:31:39Think of all the years we've wasted.
00:31:42Look what I did.
00:31:44Go ahead.
00:31:45Practice all you want.
00:31:46I've got years ahead of us.
00:31:49Well.
00:31:55Thank you, John.
00:31:56That'll be all.
00:31:57Is Mrs. Morgan in?
00:31:58Yes, ma'am.
00:31:59Who shall I say is calling?
00:32:00Mrs. Morgan.
00:32:01Mrs. Morgan?
00:32:02Mm-hmm.
00:32:03Well, you'll find Mrs. Morgan in the playroom.
00:32:10But you promised good.
00:32:11But look.
00:32:12I'm shaking to pieces and falling apart.
00:32:14Oh, what's the matter?
00:32:15Don't you love me anymore, kid?
00:32:17Well, if you put it that way.
00:32:19Mrs. Morgan.
00:32:20Well, Mrs. Morgan.
00:32:22Mrs. Morgan.
00:32:23Yeah?
00:32:24Oh, that's me.
00:32:25I'm Mrs. Morgan number one.
00:32:26Oh, me number two.
00:32:27This is a pleasure.
00:32:28So am I.
00:32:29Well, how about a shot, boss?
00:32:31Rather.
00:32:32Good.
00:32:33Boss!
00:32:36Excuse me.
00:32:39Yes, ma'am.
00:32:40What's your pleasure?
00:32:41I'd just like a contract, please.
00:32:43And for you, Miss Kirby?
00:32:44The same.
00:32:45The same.
00:32:46Hurry.
00:32:47Yes.
00:32:48It's beginning to commence to start.
00:32:49Big time.
00:32:50Big time.
00:32:51Big time.
00:32:53Here's mud in your eye.
00:32:56What's your first name?
00:32:57Why, it's Cynthia.
00:32:58Mine's Gert.
00:33:01Hey.
00:33:02Is that the McCoy?
00:33:04The McCoy.
00:33:05The ice.
00:33:06Is it real?
00:33:07Well, I believe it is authentic.
00:33:10Who bounced for that?
00:33:11Bounce?
00:33:12I didn't understand.
00:33:13Who laid it on the line?
00:33:14Somebody must have paid for it.
00:33:16Oh, Mr. Morgan did.
00:33:18He did?
00:33:19Uh-huh.
00:33:20Well, I can understand it.
00:33:21You're what I call a class number.
00:33:22Well, thanks a lot, Gertrude.
00:33:23Here's mud, did you say?
00:33:25Right.
00:33:26Hello, Cynthia.
00:33:28Why, hello, Percy.
00:33:31What did you call him?
00:33:33Percy?
00:33:34That's what I thought.
00:33:36Well, excuse me, Percy.
00:33:39You're still beautiful, Cynthia.
00:33:41You always were.
00:33:42You were right about Michael.
00:33:44I was wrong, dear.
00:33:46Thanks a lot for writing to him the way you did.
00:33:48Your letters meant a lot to both of us.
00:33:51I see you're still partial to brunettes.
00:33:53Oh, on the contrary.
00:33:54I'm allergic to them.
00:33:55I prefer blondes.
00:33:57For a man who doesn't like them, you're doing splendidly.
00:33:59Well, I tried to explain that to you at the time.
00:34:01How many years ago was it?
00:34:03Oh, please, dear, don't let's go into ancient history.
00:34:05Oh, hello, Mike.
00:34:06Hello, Mother.
00:34:08This is Nancy, my stepsister.
00:34:10How are you, Nancy?
00:34:11You mean you're her daughter?
00:34:13Well, most people take mother for my sister.
00:34:15Don't they, Mother?
00:34:17Huh?
00:34:18Oh, sure, sure.
00:34:19Oh, big, um, Percy, we are putting Cynthia in the brown room.
00:34:23We have another guest.
00:34:24Oh, you're staying here tonight, Cynthia?
00:34:25Of course she is.
00:34:26Aren't you, Cynthia?
00:34:27Yes.
00:34:28Ladies and gentlemen, the dinner is served.
00:34:34Remember, you're a gentleman.
00:34:41May I?
00:34:42I told you we should have moved back to the Cosmo.
00:34:47Come on.
00:34:48La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:35:02La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:35:07Rosita, now you do the dishes.
00:35:10Now you do the dishes I
00:35:13Don't feel like the mood for dishes tonight
00:35:16But you promised me
00:35:19When you marry me, I watch the dishes, but until then you watch the dish
00:35:25Or maybe you like to pick up our wedding day to pick up a wife. They just like to pick up the horse of the race
00:35:33Sometimes a fellow makes the mistake. I
00:35:36watch the dishes
00:35:40I
00:36:02Know I'm awfully glad you dropped in tonight Cynthia. I'm not too sorry myself
00:36:07Same old Cynthia. Well, I'm giving a party tomorrow night for Michael. He has to sell a hundred thousand dollars worth of war bonds
00:36:13Well, he can sell like father. It'll be simple. I'll buy some and of course you will
00:36:19For sure. Sure. Certainly. He must know a lot of influential businessmen. Well, I do but I was thinking
00:36:24Are you still in touch with that Pasadena crowd? I'm always dumping into people in Washington, New York
00:36:29Well, I thought it'd be fine if you'd invite some of your socialites. I know what we can do
00:36:34I don't give him coffee. We can make it a costume affair
00:36:37You know, it's like pageants famous characters from the lives of our allies and it's cool being leading a diver
00:36:45Well fine, but what like to give to my country that was Paul Revere. Oh, don't be so ridiculing
00:36:53For me. Hey, we have a fire never heard of him
00:37:04I don't know
00:37:19I'm beginning to wonder if you've come for the job. It's already filled. I have a daughter really
00:37:24Congratulations. Thank you. What are you talking about? Don't you know it's against the law to break into other people's house?
00:37:29I agree with you. I happen to live here. Oh
00:37:32You know Sam Duncan, well, I ought to he's my father
00:37:36Your father you you mean you're saying nothing daughter. That's right. I'm Linda Duncan and now whoever you are, please go away
00:37:43Oh, wait a minute. You don't understand. You see big-time. He's supposed to well, he's my husband and well, that's no concern of mine
00:37:49Why doesn't he give a party in a goat house?
00:37:51Your father was sweet enough to give a job. I'm sorry, but you have to take your guess
00:37:55Oh, no, wait a minute. Now. Why don't you be a good kid listen to me? I'm doing let me go
00:37:58Wait a minute. Are you gonna listen to reason or do I have to knock you into dreamland?
00:38:01Oh
00:38:31Look if you girls are trying to reduce back to all kind of exercise
00:38:45Michael Morgan the war correspondent. Oh, yeah, you know what?
00:38:51Where's he well, he's downstairs with anything. Yeah. Yeah. Well Nancy, she's supposed to be my daughter
00:38:57And you better play safe for her too, don't worry
00:39:00I'll take care of everything. Oh fine. That was a close cook. Say, how did she mean that?
00:39:11What a screwy picture
00:39:16Sorry, then Nancy was your roommate when you was reformed school. I haven't high school. I went too fast. All right, make it faster
00:39:23I
00:39:25Don't darling
00:39:27Linda however, did you find it? Oh, it's the luck of the Irish Cynthia. You remember my husband, don't you?
00:39:32Of course not. You were too young. Have you been Nancy? Oh, but of course, but don't you remember me?
00:39:39Have I changed so much? We went to Vassar together
00:39:43Didn't we dear? Who was it Vassar?
00:39:46Very becoming down you have on the fact. It's quite nostalgic
00:39:50Nostalgic
00:39:52Must be an old road throw here. I wish somebody put up a detour sign. Oh
00:39:57Michael come into the playroom with me. I want to talk to you about shoes and chips and feeling wax and
00:40:04cabbages and Kings
00:40:06Excuse me
00:40:14Hey, what's this cream? Well, that's enough lip try some Gertrude
00:40:20Could you get it? Oh, they said it to meet me you off
00:40:23That's Percy these days. Oh
00:40:26You mean big-time? He's all right. I mean does he still snore at night?
00:40:32Come in
00:40:37Hello Cynthia, oh, yeah, I just dropped in to check up on Michael
00:40:44Is he engaged not that I know of?
00:40:47Running around with any particular girl. I really don't know Linda. I never pry into my son's private life
00:40:56Catch up
00:40:58You know, I've been carrying a torch for sin all those years
00:41:02It's a wonder. I didn't turn out to be the lowest tramp in town. Yeah, will you paint yourself now big time?
00:41:07I'm sorry, we have a quit. What more could a man ask for in a wife? She's got brains beauty culture
00:41:14Hey, what's the matter with Gertrude? She's got green beauty sculpture. Oh, it's all right. Yeah, don't forget. She's your wife now
00:41:24Come in
00:41:31Let's drop in to say good night dad. Thanks for everything. Oh, not at all son. Not at all
00:41:36Good night. Oh dad. I wonder if you'd mind if I asked you a question anything in the world son
00:41:42And something that she said I I got the idea that this used to be Linda's home
00:41:47Well, yes, that's that's true son, but I can explain that you see Sam Duncan. That's Linda's father. He got in a mess
00:41:53I mean he was speculating with other people's money and to sell out fast
00:41:56So I stepped in it's a good thing I did too because Sam just missed jail by an eyelash
00:42:01It's rather nice of you dad. Well, what else could I do?
00:42:03Sam's a friend of mine anytime a pal of mine gets in trouble. I can always figure an angle that I'm sure you can
00:42:11Good night, dad. Good night, son
00:42:17That son of mine's no dumbbell take that for me
00:42:29Come in
00:42:32Let's drop in to say good night. Good night
00:42:35You know
00:42:36There's an old custom in the Mormon family
00:42:39We always kiss each other good night, but I'm not a Morgan
00:42:45Makes this a nice
00:42:54You I thought we'd go to the beach in the morning
00:43:08I
00:43:30Didn't want this job in the first place now I quit what happened
00:43:34Oh, you're not that Linda girl joined the party and she's moving on Michael
00:43:38Are you falling for him?
00:43:41It's just a garlic girl. He likes it. Go ahead
00:43:44Oh
00:43:47Why did you let her join the party I didn't she's what I call the Joker in the back
00:43:52I wouldn't even sleep in the same room with that. She can't okay Nancy. You can sleep with me
00:44:09I
00:44:12Had to try it out
00:44:14Only if it was me and I wanted the guy I put up a fight
00:44:18Where I said looks like you have the inside track
00:44:25What would you I take off that hat and go to sleep good night
00:44:34But darling it only takes ten minutes to pick out a costume in Hollywood
00:44:37Tell Jim I think he'd make a divine George, Washington. Well, thanks a lot darling. I knew I could count on you
00:44:44No mall now, I'm not in the market for a horse today
00:44:48Now I've kind of quit a hot tip
00:44:52One that's gonna win. Oh, yeah, they always do nothing. All right, ma
00:45:04There's someone to see you mr. Michael
00:45:08How do you do are you the Michael Morgan the war correspondent who flew over Japan yes, ma'am
00:45:14I should like to see you
00:45:19That place over there is practically deserted
00:45:29Something special I should like to see your identification what for let me see them, please do
00:45:37I
00:45:44Seems quite in order, but would you sign here Mr. Morgan?
00:45:53Oh a present for you, mr. Morgan you were with do-little over Tokyo. I had a very nice trip
00:46:00I
00:46:07Should like to tell you that we all appreciate your valour. Good morning
00:46:19Look up maybe it's a bomb. Oh
00:46:21Oh
00:46:25Let's build a million dollars and right you're like why do they give you this? I don't know
00:46:31I certainly can't accept it. Oh, but you must accept it. It's hard luck to the big gift off the console. Oh stop it
00:46:38Oh a card
00:46:39What's it say? Oh, give it to me to the hero and deepest gratitude Lydia Olmsted
00:46:47There's a mess of gratitude
00:46:51I'll give it to dad. You know what?
00:46:57There goes the gratitude, all right call you back mom dad
00:47:06Hey, what'd you get that sometimes you gave it to me as a gift
00:47:09That's good. That's a good old Morgan luck. Of course. I can't accept it. Why not? Oh, I can't accept that
00:47:15I don't have to turn it over to the authorities. I want you to keep it for me. You have a safe
00:47:19Yes
00:47:22I'll back here
00:47:26You say you're going to turn this over to the authorities it's the only thing to do
00:47:30Take a chance and keep you more than five minutes. All right, son
00:47:38Put it right in there. It's well dad. Thanks a lot. All right, you thought it'll get it back to it
00:47:44Okay, son, are you slug Maddie? Oh, what else can I do? Thanks dad. Sorry was supposed to be punching
00:47:55Hello slick what? Oh, no. No, no. No. No, I don't want any part of it
00:48:02What do you mean my son?
00:48:05What's the odds
00:48:07Yeah, yeah, no
00:48:09Oh already tipping
00:48:12Okay, slick. Can't you get it a
00:48:15thirty to one shot my son
00:48:18You get it. Wait a minute. Wait a minute big time. We got troubles enough
00:48:22You already got two wives a son the daughter and they got Tony and me
00:48:26If that nag runs out of money rather a hotel Cosmo won't there for all of us living there
00:48:30You know lady fortune knocks for once and I got good hearing
00:48:33Picture you think she's knocking out like a machine gun
00:48:37But but what are we going to get the doll? Why are we gonna?
00:48:45Of course not you got the combination sure. I know it by heart on the desk
00:48:54Hello kid
00:48:56You know
00:48:59You know, this is a business deal don't you
00:49:02Other men have business deal don't they?
00:49:05Well, I'm gonna have one
00:49:07And I'm putting back and I owe you
00:49:09Yeah, I know plenty of guys who paid at this with five and ten and I'll compare
00:49:14Yeah, I bet this 50 bucks at times. I've all knocked down the odds
00:49:16Look, maybe I ought to talk to great families up your boots and get going
00:49:19I remember no more than 50 bucks in any one place at any one time. Oh
00:49:23No, I got it. I hate to go
00:49:37You
00:49:53They've got to win
00:49:55What are what horse?
00:49:57Wait a big time told me I got to figure this thing out
00:50:01Look, why don't you come to the party tonight? We got a big party out there
00:50:04Listen, I'm busy. Thank you horse
00:50:08Okay, $50 on the nose
00:50:10Hey, we're holding a big shindig tonight. What's come over? What can I lose? Thanks for the bet. That's 50. Okay
00:50:18Sucker
00:50:20I
00:50:34Give you three guesses. Who am I?
00:50:37No, Mussolini
00:50:40Henry Kaiser no, why I am Christopher Columbus
00:50:45Welcome to our shores Columbus. He too was a countryman of mine. Don't forget. That's a queen in every day
00:50:50Come on turn on the radio. What are you sure?
00:50:54What do you want to hear some cut in the rug or the open up settle for the races try K
00:50:58Okay me I'd try anything. What's the note at the bottom of the dial?
00:51:07$2,000 we sent you to pen pantry for 10 years wrong station
00:51:11This is Tony one day speaking and now we bring you a reenactment of the fifth race at Pimlico
00:51:16Here's the starting positions on the pole
00:51:19thundercloud
00:51:20Number two war talk fighting menace is three. My son is the number four. It's my boss. You put some money on the nose again
00:51:29Well, the cake is in the sidewalk Susie Q was supposed to run
00:51:33Yeah, you got it all mixed up. Let me help you
00:51:36They're all it's thundercloud in the lead follow me to keep my pants up
00:51:45Countess fifth fighting menace is six blue roses seventh by two lanes. Where's my son Michael?
00:51:52Oh, he's downstairs. What happened to my son?
00:51:56He's left at the post birdie. The jockey's having trouble with him. I
00:52:01Hear it comes let by an attendant who's taking him back to the pattern
00:52:09We like in my hands a most Seymour why we didn't even get a run for our money
00:52:13Yeah, yeah, right this maybe that'll keep you the pants up. Go on beat it with you, Tony
00:52:17I gotta think fast. Maybe I'll help you to think. Oh, come on beat it
00:52:30Oh
00:52:38Let's miss and
00:52:41Pass me the fender lamby
00:52:43If you'll just hold still I'll give it in play. No joke, please. What do you think stuff to be Miss Gertie an armor?
00:52:50Thank you. Of course not. I'm dirty the Amazon
00:52:53Hey, I know a girl named Amazon one. Hmm. She met a no-gooder from Chicago. Really? That's what kids are good from
00:52:59Do you mind dirty looking me over? Well, that is cute. What is it?
00:53:05Pocahontas, it's the only thing you have in size nine. Oh
00:53:08Give me a matchstick
00:53:12Be careful, Miss Gertie, you scratch up the chassis. I really look all right dirty. Well, he went to college
00:53:17I guess he'll know what it's all about
00:53:19Stay out
00:53:22I
00:53:28Don't need
00:53:38I took Michael to the beach. We had a wonderful swing. Mm-hmm
00:53:43All he really needs is a woman to take care of him. He's desperately lonely. I haven't noticed it
00:53:50He was telling me how all the girls chase after him he finds it very dull
00:53:58Oh, never mind Cynthia down there, thanks a lot goody
00:54:04The more I see a brother less I like it
00:54:19Somebody should have boiled her joints dear. I told you we'd be the only original marker and George Washington here at the party
00:54:27Party you subscribe to our part of the bond
00:54:50Oh
00:55:13Well, so I could be wrong mr. Bernard
00:55:16$5,000
00:55:18Mr. Anderson
00:55:20$10,000. Mr. Smith
00:55:23$4,000
00:55:27Mr. Van Dusen $15,000
00:55:32That brings us up to the $40,000 mark
00:55:39Surely there must be more among you who want to buy war bonds
00:55:41Put me down for 10,000, please
00:55:43Linda doesn't I could report a stamp if I wanted to I don't worry you got much more than money kid
00:55:50You've got oh, I've got some bonds
00:55:53$25,000 worth
00:56:00Please sure is naughty. Oh, I mean Cynthia Morgan. Thank you, mother
00:56:05That brings us up to the $75,000 mark
00:56:13Don't worry darling I know where to get the rest of it
00:56:18What's the matter with you
00:56:20Remember, he's our son. Don't you love him? Sure. I do then. I'll put you down for the 25,000
00:56:26You don't understand Cynthia. Oh, of course I do
00:56:30Michael Morgan
00:56:32Michael Morgan's father wants to subscribe to $25,000 worth war bond. Don't you Percy? Yes
00:56:49Congratulations Morgan
00:56:54You've done a fine job I didn't really do anything at all. Will you collect the money surely right away?
00:56:59I'll be back in half an hour
00:57:03Well, here we are
00:57:20Thank God
00:57:27What are you supposed to be
00:57:30The way you look now any junk dealer in town to give it 25 bucks
00:57:46Having a good time dad. Oh, yes. Yes. Well, I'll be leaving pretty soon. Yeah
00:57:51Say dad, I I hate to inconvenience you but mr. Ballantyne will be here a little while for the money
00:57:57I've gotten everyone's but yours
00:57:59I wonder if I could have your check. I mean the $25,000 check. Yeah. Well, you see son
00:58:04My money's sort of tied up to litigation. I couldn't I mail it to the government?
00:58:08I'm afraid I wouldn't do you see the bonds have already been made out. All right, I'll get it from Gertie
00:58:12She let me have it. Don't worry about it, son. I'm sure it'll be all right
00:58:15I
00:58:27Won't even fight
00:58:29Well, it's not boy. You look like little boppy, you know, I am beginning to cultivate a little contempt for you the beginning
00:58:36Yes, thanks for coming
00:58:39Look where's big time? I have not seen him. I have not seen I have not
00:58:46He looks well, you look exaggerating
00:58:48Thank you. Have you seen Percy place? Oh, you mean big time? Yeah. No, I'm looking for either one of them
00:58:53I can't find him. Let's look together. All right. Now if you see a place whistle, and if I see him first, well, I'll whistle
00:59:00I've been looking for you. What's wrong? Oh everything money. Just everything. That's all looks in
00:59:06You used to be my wife. Remember?
00:59:08And we have a son. He's pretty fine. I'm father. Oh, I've been lying to him all these years
00:59:13I told him I was somebody that I wanted to something that I had money
00:59:16You're not broke. I I can stand in for a real trap until one comes along
00:59:20What about the phone trying to find out the answer to that one myself?
00:59:24But first darling you've been trying haven't you I mean for Michael sure sure darling you gave me these things
00:59:31Maybe you can put them back in porn after all they've been there plenty of times before I know that but that's the way
00:59:36I've been living all my life
00:59:40But I don't want to let the kid down
00:59:42Say he was cute when he was little wasn't he huh? He was a monkey wasn't he? We had a lot of good times together, didn't we?
00:59:55Bertie said there was an old road through here
01:00:02Tell me Bertie, are you in love with Gertrude? Gertrude what? Sure, Gertrude's all right. Well, she's your wife, isn't she?
01:00:10Well, it's always been you sin the Statue of Liberty couldn't carry my torch. It's been that way with me, too
01:00:16Why don't you tell me about it? You know what I've done. I've messed up Michael
01:00:19I took two grand of his money and fed it on an egg. I suppose an egg was slightly in the stove
01:00:25Let's go darling
01:00:28Be a great believer in what first I remember you told me something would always turn up in the nick of time
01:00:33Yeah, something always turns up. We can't let the kid down. I
01:00:37Know what's left for me
01:00:39Put that down first. Yeah, maybe rat poison would be better. All you do is see pal
01:00:44I just grab him by the arm and flip him. Get up
01:00:49And you walk up to him like this, grab him by the wrist, place your arm around like that and then
01:00:59He's a friend of mine, you know, I've known him a long time you shouldn't do that to him. Okay, pal
01:01:03I'll show you you grab him by the arm like that see, reach around like that
01:01:08You have no idea how I've missed you all through the years. Oh, you poor darling
01:01:22At least she's more understanding than I was. Quite dirty is my wife. She's just been standing in
01:01:27I've been lying from A to Z. That's all. The whole thing has been put together by mirrors and anybody could kick it down
01:01:32Oh darling, why didn't you tell me?
01:01:37I told you, come on, postman. I'm trying to talk to you now. Here, what are you trying to do?
01:01:45Shut the doors, pull down the shades. What's the matter? What's the matter here, punchy?
01:01:48Say you didn't get this legitimate. What'd you do, stick up a bank on the cops on your tail?
01:01:51What cops? They're $27,075 bucks. It's all yours. Where'd you get it? That's what I've been trying to tell you
01:01:57I did just what they told me. I put it on an ad called the hero
01:02:00I told you to put it on my son. Kid, for no reason at all, I could kiss you. Don't kiss me, kiss the horse
01:02:07He's the one who did the road work. I still claim he got lucky he ain't got it. Open the door, will you, kid?
01:02:15What are you afraid of, Nancy? I don't know. I can't tell you
01:02:21Maybe I've guessed more than half of it already. Where will you be when I get back?
01:02:26Around here someplace. You're where I can find you? Dead? You can reach me through it
01:02:32I hope you're not playing a game, too
01:02:35Michael? I'm leaving right away, Linda
01:02:38Well, before you do, it's time somebody around here told you the score
01:02:42You think this house belongs to your father, don't you, Michael? It doesn't matter
01:02:46Well, this house happens to belong to my dad
01:02:48Your father's nothing but a cheap fore-flusher. You think he's going to pay you for those bonds?
01:02:52Linda, if you don't mind, I'd much rather you excused us
01:02:55I have some things I want to straighten out with Nancy
01:02:56Michael, Michael, I brought you the money for the bonds
01:02:59You have? Here, count them, will you? Meanwhile, I'll straighten mine out
01:03:04Here, that does it
01:03:09How soon are you leaving, son? The plane leaves in 45 minutes
01:03:12Well, what's holding us up? Come on
01:03:16You know, I've been lonesome all my life. I never realized how much of a family I had, don't I?
01:03:20Good luck, Michael
01:03:21You'll be where I can find you, won't you, Nancy? You'll stick close to Dad?
01:03:24Daddy, I'll know where I can find you
01:03:25And you understand that we're engaged, don't you?
01:03:27We are? Mm-hmm. I'll send you the ring
01:03:29I'll send you the money, too
01:03:31Hi, Dad. Dad, you'll look after her, won't you?
01:03:33Oh, sure, I will. Do me a favor, will you?
01:03:35Get a friend of yours to drop a big bomb on that paper hanger's villa
01:03:39Why, it's a cinch. And let me tell you guys who were there at Villa Woods
01:03:43Those fellas that I'm writing about are doing a real polishing job
01:03:46Thanks for everything, Dad
01:03:48Has anyone some smelling salts? You ready, Meta?
01:03:50I don't think I'm going with you, darling. Someone has to protect the investment
01:03:53Hand it over, uh, first. I mean, big time
01:03:56I don't think I'm going with you, darling. Someone has to protect the investment
01:03:59Uh, uh, first. I mean, big time
01:04:01And what over?
01:04:02The bonds. There may be a new nag by in the morning
01:04:05That ain't crickets, Cynthia
01:04:07I know, darling. Just common sense
01:04:09When Rosita and I, we got married, the first bambino we called,
01:04:13Julio the Caesar, and the fifth bambino, Michael the Morgan
01:04:17Okie dokie, eh? Okie dokie, Antonio
01:04:19Mike, just set for me if you need me
01:04:21Thank you, kid
01:04:22Well, you want to kiss me, Mike? I didn't think so
01:04:24Anyway, goodbye and good luck
01:04:26Mr. Morgan, we are holding the plane
01:04:29Ok
01:04:30Goodbye, Mom
01:04:31Goodbye, darling
01:04:33See you soon, sweetheart
01:04:34I'll be here, Mike
01:04:35Goodbye, everybody
01:04:36Bye
01:04:37Goodbye, Mike. Goodbye
01:04:57There he goes. The finest boy in the world. My son
01:05:03Your son? I was there, remember?
01:05:06That's right, you were
01:05:08Our son
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